Casual Sex: How to Find the Hookup of Your Dreams

casual sex

Who needs strings when you can keep it casual? Here’s a guide for having casual sex while keeping your mind and heart intact.

Sex is amazing. It keeps you fit, makes your skin glow and releases your endorphins – which scientists believe are way better than drugs. It comes as no surprise that people love it. They crave it and enjoy it. Some people are a bit more into sex than others, but the gist of it all is that sex makes you happy.

The issue, however, is that many people believe that in order to have sex, you need to be in a relationship first. Many cultures even require you to get married first. I agree that making love, as opposed to f*cking around, seems like the more ideal situation. Unfortunately, not everyone is equipped to be in a relationship before they start entertaining the idea of having sex. [Read: 9 brilliant tips for having a casual relationship]

Are you ready for casual sex?

Casual sex is not recommended for virgins. We’re not saying you’re not allowed to do it, but there are emotional and physical repercussions that can scar you for a long time. Ideally, you are better off losing your virginity to someone you really trust, like a boyfriend or a very close friend.

If you have had sex before, but not casual sex, you need to be aware of what you’re in for. Sleeping with someone just for fun might seem like an ideal situation, but there are still various risks involved.

At best, you could catch a curable disease. At worst, you could contract HIV. Even if your partner is clean, you can still get pregnant. Bear in mind that condoms are only 85-95% effective, while birth control pills are 92% effective. With those statistics, you can’t help but think that maybe you’re better off sleeping with someone who can bear the weight of being a parent on short notice.

Aside from the physical risks, casual sex also leaves you open for emotional problems. Depending on your state of mind and vulnerability, sleeping with someone makes you susceptible to deeper feelings that can be misconstrued for love and affection. Sex is a very intimate act, no matter what context it’s being done in.

Being prepared for the physical and emotional risks is necessary, if you want to have a casual romp in the sack. Just be sure that you can handle yourself, in case anything bad happens. Always have a support system, like trusted friends and family, a good medical insurance package and a whole lot of condoms. After that, you’re pretty much good to go. [Read: 25 rules of being friends with benefits]

I understand the consequences. Now show me where I can find an easy lay.

Finding someone to sleep with immediately is only easy if you are in the right location. Your chances of getting an easy lay are dependent on your community’s openness to the idea. If you are from a small town, the chances of finding someone to sleep with are very slim.

If you’re in a big city, then you probably have about 300 possible prospects in one night alone. If you’re a man, 10 of those might even agree to sleep with you. If you’re a woman, your chances are significantly higher. Let’s say 200 out of 300.

Now, where do you find those people? Absolutely anywhere. The issue lies on whether or not you can make them agree to sleep with you. So, here is the list:

#1 Online dating. Admittedly, this concept started as a way for people to find their true love. These days, it is turning out to be an easy way to bypass the dating stage in order to get to the hookup stage. Some people who use online dating still want to find relationships, but you will soon find that most of the ones who are active users are just in it for the hookup. [Read: 9 social media sites to use to get yourself a date]

#2 Bars. These places are perfect for extroverts. Most people who go to bars are open to meeting new people. The setting is not as intense as it is in clubs. Themed bars are perfect as well. Karaoke bars have lots of girls. Sports bars have lots of guys. Finding a hookup there is dependent on your ability to give a winning opening line and closing the deal before your tab runs out.

#3 Clubs. People who hang out in clubs have a tendency to get drunker than those who go to bars. If you want to find a hookup at a club, you have to start the initiation before your prospect becomes too wasted to remember your face and the concept of a hookup starts to enter the potential rape zone.

The good thing about being in a club is that your inhibitions disappear faster, which means that your chances of a hookup become higher. Just don’t sleep with extremely drunk people. That never ends well. [Read: 14 ways to keep it classy at a party]

#4 Twitter. I was surprised to find out that Twitter worked well for finding hookups. The only catch is that you need to be an active user and not someone who uses it only to find dates. It’s easy to say “Hi” by mentioning a person, but you can’t exactly ask them out without letting the whole world know. It’s best if you follow each other, so you can use Direct Messaging instead.

#5 Facebook. When using Facebook to find hookups, you risk divulging your whole life to a random person. They can easily see who your friends are and they can opt to judge you based on everything you’ve ever posted. The good thing about it is that you can do the same thing. When hooking up with strangers, it’s better to know more about them before you do anything. Social media can really help with that.

#6 The gym. It might seem like an innocuous place for hookups, but gyms are full of endorphin-pumped people of all ages and genders. You can actually smell the sex appeal when you enter the building. A little compliment here and there on someone’s abs might just get you a date for the evening. [Read: The step-by-step guide to getting yourself a f*ck buddy]

#7 Weddings. Men love weddings because of the opportunity to woo vulnerable women crying at the thought of their unsure futures. Women love them because they know that men like those are present in the vicinity. All you need to do is feel for the right person and express your intentions subtly, but cordially. You’re at a wedding, after all.

#8 The beach. The idea of finding sex at the beach is so popular that they even named a drink after it. Most single people go to the beach expecting a tropical tryst. The best part is that those people probably made their bodies beach-ready in time for their vacation. Hot people in hot climates always means a chance for something equally steamy.

[Read: How to have a great no strings attached relationship]

Regardless of the location, there’s always the off chance that you’ll meet someone you can form a sexual chemistry with. Just remember that when you do the deed, stay safe and keep in mind the consequences of sleeping with someone you barely know. 

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Danielle Anne
Danielle Anne
Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...
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One thought on “Casual Sex: How to Find the Hookup of Your Dreams”

  1. Notcasual says:

    I have had my casual hookups from a website. And before I say this, everything I’m about to say is 100% true. I don’t like typing much so these will be brief First girl was the first and only black girl I ever slept with. (I’m a white guy) She wasn’t exactly the best looking girl, but she was sweet and funny and nice and I later found out that she was a lesbian until shortly before posting something on facebook to try to get back into guys. So we met in public and hit it off and we went back to her place and boned. We hung out a few times after that but the most memorable was the time when she grabbed her moms adderall and we went berserk. We were eating it and crushing it up and snorting it and fucking like crazy and playing left 4 dead all night long. At one point I thought it would be fun to snort a line off her ass and she thought it would be hilarious so I did and we laughed and laughed. It was a very fun night. I the end, she started to develop feelings that I didn’t reciprocate so we broke it off.

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