When it comes to sexuality, it’s never black and white. It’s more of a grey scale. Most of us aren’t 100% attracted to one sex. It’s actually more of a mix. But is it possible to not be interested in either sex? Does that exist? The answer is yes. If you’ve questioned yourself, asking why you’re not sexually attracted to anyone, it could be that you show signs you’re asexual.
What is asexuality?
Wondering what asexuality is exactly? Don’t worry, I’m here to tell you. First, asexuality isn’t black and white either. It lies on a spectrum. For example, it could mean you’re not attracted to anyone or you find other people sexually unattractive or you only feel sexual attraction to people you know very well. [Read: What does sexual attraction really feel like?]
You’re not alone in this either. Nearly 1% of the world’s population is asexual. It’s so rare that most people don’t believe it’s actually a thing. Oh, but it is.
15 signs you’re asexual even if you don’t know it yet
Now, I’ve only ever met one asexual person. And at first, it was hard for me to wrap my head around this sexual orientation. I thought maybe this girl just never experienced mind-blowing sex or had imbalanced hormones. That was not the case. She told me while she appreciates the attractiveness of another person, she just doesn’t see them as sexual beings.
For a long time, she thought something was wrong with her. Then, she learned about asexual people and that she’s one of them. Crazy, right? So, if you wonder if you’re asexual, you came to the right place. I’m going to show you ways to figure it all out. It’s time you found out the true signs you’re asexual.
#1 You’re not interested in sex. Whether you have or haven’t had sex, you’re simply not interested in sex. You never experienced a moment where you felt aroused or if someone touched you, you became horny. And if you do get aroused, it’s extremely rare. [Read: What it’s like for an asexual person in the dating world]
#2 You never liked anyone. Actually, you’ve never had a crush before. When you were in high school and everyone wanted get in each other’s pants, you were never interested nor felt any urges to do that. You never understood what people felt when they had a crush. [Read: The aromantic dilemma and 16 myths and truths about their love life]
#3 You feel uncomfortable at the thought of dating. While everyone else around you is trying to land themselves a significant other, you find it weird and repulsive. You shudder at the thought of dating people. Like, ew.
#4 It doesn’t stem from trauma. Some people who choose not to have sex, do so because of past sexual trauma. This may not be the case for you. Rather, you just lack sexual attraction for other people.
#5 You’re more into personalities than faces. You can see the Brad Pitt of faces and still not be turned on. For you, sexual attraction isn’t about someone’s body or face. Whether they have washboard abs or bulging muscles doesn’t concern you. What you’re into is their brain. If you do get turned on, it’s because of that. [Read: The 10 clues you’re attracted to intelligence]
#6 You went to the doctor and you’re fine. You probably thought you had a hormonal problem, but your doctor said you’re as healthy as a horse. There’s nothing wrong with your hormones that could affect your libido. Which probably means you’re asexual.
#7 You like romance, without the sex. Being asexual doesn’t mean you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, you’re just not down for having sex all of the time. And if romantic relationships didn’t include sex, your dreams would finally come true.
#8 Sex isn’t a factor for you. When you meet someone, you’re not trying to find a way to sleep with them. Sex isn’t a motivating factor for you when it comes to relationships. Instead, you see other factors as important.
#9 You appreciate attractiveness, but nothing more. You know when someone is attractive. You’re not blind. Anything beyond that, you can’t envision. You can’t picture any sexual relationship with them. It’s similar to lesbians seeing men. They know what a hot man looks like, but they don’t want to sleep with them. [Read: Identifying with grey asexuality in a world of sex]
#10 You feel forced when having sex. Your partner isn’t forcing you into sex, instead, you force yourself. Sex isn’t fun for you, it’s more of a chore. You probably experiment with sex toys and kinks to make sex stimulating for you.
#11 You aren’t into relationships. You have friends and family, but when it comes to intimate relationships, it’s not your thing. Cuddling and even romantic relationships may be okay for you, but you’re most likely uninterested in anything more than platonic friendships.
#12 It’s rare that you are attracted to someone. You aren’t turned on by most people, but every now and then, there will be someone you’re attracted to. Remember, asexuality is a spectrum, not black and white. You can still be attracted to people but on a less intense level. [Read: Panromantic asexual – What it is and what it isn’t]
#13 You need a close bond to feel sexual attraction. When you do feel a close bond with someone, then you feel yourself becoming aroused. This is actually a form of asexuality called demisexuality. This means you’re willing to have sex with the right person, but other than that, you don’t have sex.
#14 You enjoy masturbating. Being asexual means you’re not sexually attracted to other people, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be sexually connected with yourself. In reality, asexual people enjoy masturbating, this is called autochorisexuallity. Solo masturbation feels good to you. [Read: Sexy masturbation moves to try out on yourself]
#15 You’re happy without sex. You’re just happier without sex. You feel the most natural. If you’re happier when you’re not in a relationship or having sex, you’re probably asexual. And this is completely normal and okay. Sex does not define a person’s happiness.
[Read: List of sexualities: What you need to know about each sexual orientation]
You’ve now seen the signs you’re asexual. What do you think? Are you asexual? If so, that’s good to hear because being asexual is completely normal.
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