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Why Dating Apps & Online Dating Sucks and 37 Secrets to Make It Fun & Flirty!

In many ways, online dating sucks. There are far too many people out for only one thing. If you want to find real love, forget the apps. 

dating apps and why online dating sucks

No one ever said that finding love would be an easy endeavor. If you’re seriously serious about finding that special someone, you’re going to have to be patient, and you’re going to have to be resilient. But we’ve all heard the Tinder horror stories, and we all know that online dating sucks!

Against a myriad of catfishes and unwanted dick pics, there’s no amount of resilience in the world that can make online dating bearable.

Many of us have given all our faith to online dating only to be met with disappointment time and time again. And we say, enough! It’s time we talk about just how bad online dating is, and why it’s so much better to find people to date in more natural and organic ways. You know, outside. [Read: How to find love – the secrets of attraction]

Online dating sucks – here’s why you should kick it old school

Technology has been around for a while now, and it’s made life so much more convenient. Most of us can’t even remember the days when we couldn’t meet someone online!

But we’re learning that convenience isn’t always better. We have no idea what it was like for our parents to date and even for our grandparents to find love, but they clearly did it. If you ask them, it might be a lot easier to ditch the apps, because let’s face it—dating apps suck.

If you find that online dating sucks for you and you just can’t find someone, you may have to give it up and try things the old-fashioned way.

Here are all the reasons you should try to find your true love without the help of technology. [Read: The meaning of dating – How it works, types, 42 signs and ways to date someone right]

1. It’s a more genuine connection

When you “meet” someone online, it’s not nearly as real as when you meet someone in person. You can’t have a genuine connection through a phone or computer.

Ditching the dating apps provides a way to meet people you are truly interested in. When you see someone in person you think you may like, it’s much easier to tell if your connection is a real one versus just matching with someone online.

That’s just another reason why dating apps suck – connections are harder to form. [Read: The step-by-step guide to meeting real people outside social networks]

2. You won’t have the hang-ups of online dating

Online dating is sometimes even more stressful than dating in person. You have to post just the right picture and make a creative profile that tells them who you are.

The only trouble there is that you can’t show someone everything about you in one paragraph. Therefore, old-fashioned dating is much easier. You can allow your personality to shine through on its own.

3. You can feel real chemistry

Sure, you can have a certain level of chemistry online, but it’s just not the same. There’s more to attraction than just being able to hold a conversation. However, you don’t feel that online.

You have to be in person to determine if you have true chemistry. It’s not just about whether or not you can talk. It’s also about how you feel when you’re around them.

You just don’t get the same feeling if you talk through an app alone. When it’s put like that, it can make you wonder why we ever thought online dating could work to begin with! [Read: How to create chemistry and make it stay]

4. Online attraction can only run so deep

That being said, you can only feel so much online. And the trouble with that is, if you don’t feel it right away with someone through an app, you usually give up. Dating apps suck because you might give in too soon.

You don’t even try to go on a date with someone if you can’t have a conversation online. However, you run the risk of giving up on someone who could really be great for you if you had met them in real life.

5. The excitement is heightened

This is definitely true. When you just bump into someone at a concert or at the grocery store and they ask you on a date, you get way more excited. Why? Because you have so much to learn about them.

When you date online, you pretty much go over everything important before you even meet a person. So the date can often lose the excitement. [Read: How to get over dating anxiety]

6. You can tell if they’re not for you

When you meet someone in person, you can tell right away if you’re into them or not. You don’t have to talk with them for a long time to know. It’s basically loud and clear if you have an attraction to them.

This helps you from wasting a LOT of time through dating apps and awkward first dates. Basically, dating apps suck because you could be wasting your precious time. [Read: How to know if they’re just not interested]

7. You can’t judge someone too quickly

Another reason online dating sucks is because some people are horrible at putting together their online dating profiles. They make complete fools of themselves or they’re just clueless to begin with.

This can make you judge them way too early and you could write off someone who may be a great match. That’s why kicking it old school in the dating world is a much better option. You won’t be so judgmental.

8. You’ll feel more hopeful meeting people in real life

We know just how disappointing dating apps can be. You see a ton of different profiles and most of them are huge turn-offs. But that doesn’t happen in the real world.

Online dating sucks because you end up seeing how much scum is really out there. You think someone is great and then you go on a date and they’re horrible.

You’ll be able to pick up on that much sooner when you only date in person. [Read: Dating anxiety – The stages of first date panic and how to calm them]

9. It’s more fun

Can we talk about just how boring dating apps are? You don’t actually get to go out and have fun while meeting people. It’s all done from the comfort of your couch or bed until the actual date. Going out and meeting people, whether it’s at a nightclub or a book club, is way more fun.

10. You’re more confident in person

Online dating sucks because it makes you really insecure. You swipe all day long and sometimes you never get a match. This takes a chunk out of your self-esteem every single time until you’re left with barely anything.

But when you go out in person and someone hits on you, it’s a huge confidence boost. Sure, you’ll get a rejection here or there, but it feels even better when someone likes you.

Dating apps suck because they force you to face rejection so much that the compliments fade in comparison, leaving you feeling bad about yourself. [Read: How to have more fun when you’re on a date]

11. It worked for your grandparents, so why not you?

Honestly! Your grandparents didn’t meet online. So if it worked for them, why won’t it work for you? They dated the old-fashioned way and found love.

In fact, almost every single person who ever lived found love without the internet. So you can definitely do the same. [Read: Love advice from those who have lived through it]

12. People are quick to lie online

This is another reason online dating sucks a lot. You never know if people are being truthful. They could be putting down bogus interests and even lying about wanting a real relationship. So you can never really know if someone is sincere or not.

But in person, it’s much harder to lie. Not being truthful is much more obvious when you’re talking to someone directly than if you’re just reading a profile online. That’s a big reason why we think dating apps suck. [Read: How to spot the liars in online dating]

Why nice people fail at online dating

We’ve got some bad news for you. Generally speaking, nice people are terrible at online dating.

For that reason, you’ll often find apps are drenched with the wrong kind of people. But why are nice people pretty terrible when it comes to online dating? [Read: Why online dating is more terrifying than a horror film]

1. They give compliments, not pick-up lines

When we asked a bunch of daters why they reject people who give them compliments on online dating sites, they got really twitchy.

When they finally gave an honest answer, they admitted that they always take compliments with a grain of salt, because they prefer compliments about their personalities as opposed to their appearances.

But then again, it’s a dating site. A person’s appearance is the first thing that you may notice, but try mentioning something from their profile. [Read: Important dos and don’ts of online dating]

2. They post NICE pictures

Nice people have nice pictures. On a nice person’s dating profile, you can expect to see a flattering, cropped headshot, a graduation picture, a scenic photo of an expensive vacation, or an awkward pose at work.

Unfortunately, these are the pictures that people want: a high-definition photo of half or your whole body, a shirtless or bikini photo at the beach *not indoors in front of a bathroom*, a photo with you and your friends at a moderately expensive bar, and a photo with a dog. Those are non-negotiable.

3. They dial down the sexy

Nice types can be sexy, but they tend to tone it down when they first meet someone. Because they are nice, they do not want to offend someone or make them feel objectified and uncomfortable.

Sadly, most people these days want a little bit of sexy. [Read: How to be sexier – 15 ways to unleash the sex goddess hiding within]

4. They are too attentive

Or clingy. Whichever way you put it, giving too much attention can be suffocating for most people. We know you’re excited to talk to the person you like, but you need to focus on yourself and continue with your routine.

By all means, make up for lost time when you see each other again. Just don’t be too fixated on what they’re doing all day long.

5. They elaborate

Everything has a story behind it. That doesn’t mean that you need to tell each and every one of those stories.

Nice people tend to ramble on about mundane things because those are the only things they think are worth talking about.

It’s better for you to keep things simple unless prodded. You’re not on an interview. You’re just chit-chatting online. [Read: 45 happy ways to keep a conversation going and be a lot of fun to talk to]

6. Their jokes are a little bland

The jokes aren’t the problem. Nice people are just more prone to failing at their delivery, because of their mild-mannered disposition.

If you have enough confidence to pull it off, hooray. But for those of you who are shy, we suggest sticking to a funny story instead.

7. They aren’t assertive

A lot of complaints we hear about nice daters is that they don’t go after what they want. People like to feel wanted and needed.

If someone doesn’t ask them out soon, they’ll assume that the person doesn’t like them. That’s when their attention will start to wane and they’ll start looking for someone more assertive. [Read: How to transform from a nice guy into a real man]

The do’s and don’ts of online dating

Okay, we’ve talked about why we think online dating sucks and why you should try it the old-fashioned way, but if you’re really intent on trying this method, there are a few things you need to know.

Taking these into account will help you avoid coming to the same conclusion as us—that dating apps suck, truly.

Things can go wrong before the actual dating begins, before talking even begins. You could be making mistakes before you even signup for that website or download that app. 

Your thought process going into online dating is just as important as the rest of it. This is the attitude you are bringing towards dating.

This is the vibe you’re kicking things off with. And if you are too hopeful or too negative, things will not go your way. 

So remember these do’s and don’ts and maybe you won’t think that online dating sucks. [Read: Best dating apps for a relationship – The hottest apps to try in 2022]

1. Keep an open mind

You do not want to go into online dating thinking in specifics. Basically, you cannot have a checklist; you cannot say “I will only date this and not that,” or “I need this to move forward.” 

Of course, we all have our dealbreakers and our standards, but try to be as accepting as possible. You never know what might happen. [Read: Awful dating habits that could be keeping you single]

2. Shut down expectations

Thinking every single person on this app is desperate will not do you any good. Thinking you’ll go on one date and see the person of your dreams will also do you no good. Expecting the best or the worst is just an easy way to fail at online dating.

Want to know how to online date? Stop expecting anything. If you have expectations one way or another, they will not be met. [Read: Unrealistic expectations that can derail your love life]

3. Do not have an agenda or lie

This is one of the reasons why we think online dating sucks; everyone you meet seems to have an agenda. They will say exactly what you want to hear, not caring if it is a lie. And it is obvious; we see past it.

So, be yourself. Do not try to get someone with lies. There is a surprisingly large amount of people on dating sites that are just waiting to push forth their opinions and lie to you.

If this is your plan it will fail, quickly. [Read: Why do people lie in relationships?]

4. Be respectful

It’s quite sad that we have to remind anyone of this, but just because online dating is through a screen it does not mean respect goes out the window. If you are hoping to actually get something out of online dating, do not be disrespectful.

Do not mock someone’s values. Do not be rude. Appreciate everyone you speak to whether you like them or not. Unfortunately, online dating sucks most of the time because people forget this simple human rule. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]

5. Stop judging

It is hard not to judge when it comes to online dating. In fact, the whole idea of online dating is looks first and everything else later. These sites are literally setting us up to judge others; another reason why dating apps suck.

And although that is how the game is played, try to maintain your personal preferences without judging. You can be hopeful about someone with tons of travel photos because you also love to travel. You can decline someone that has photos with dogs because you are highly allergic. 

But, whether you like someone or feel you would connect or not, try not to judge those who you pass on. Just pass and move on. There is no need to look down on people just because they aren’t for you. [Read: How to write an online dating profile that’ll set you apart]

6. Don’t alienate people

Writing something in your bio like “I like my girls natural” or “if you live at home swipe left” is not only disrespectful and snobby but just plain cruel. You can swipe past people you don’t like all on your own. 

But putting something so blatantly off-putting and superficial in your profile will also alienate someone you would be interested in. [Read: Psychology of attraction – 6 types and the ones that make you fall in love]

7. Do not hide your face

For a concept that is based on finding someone to spend your life with, there are a shocking amount of people on dating apps who only post photos of themselves wearing sunglasses or photos that are taken 50+ feet away.

We know you may want someone that isn’t concerned with looks but come on, you need to know what someone looks like before you build a first impression.

Whether you are the most attractive or not, people need to be able to see your eyes and your face. It isn’t always about looks, but just connecting with someone’s eyes. So, whether you are confident or not, you need to put yourself out there.

If you want to meet someone, they will need to see your face eventually. [Read: How to spot the liars on an online dating site]

8. Post more than one photo

This is similar to not hiding your face. Sharing only one photo does not give anyone an impression of you. It could be a flattering angle or look nothing like you. 

Be real. You will get fewer matches and fewer messages if you try to avoid being yourself. Online dating sucks most of the time because people aren’t real, don’t make it worse by being inauthentic. [Read: How to fall in love with yourself and project happiness]

9. Don’t test people

Don’t even get us started on the amount of people playing games on dating apps! If you want someone to answer a question, just straight up ask it. Beating around the bush in sketchy ways is not an attractive quality. 

Trying to play games and test people is just shady and confusing. Mind games aren’t sexy and you won’t find the person you want to date by doing that.  

10. Don’t be gross

There are dating sites created for all things gross, but using a site where people actually want to make emotional connections to get your rocks off is not only crude and inappropriate but will also not give you what you’re looking for. 

If you want dirty photos and sex talk, avoid dating sites meant for people who want something more than that. And if you try it and get turned down, move on. [Read: 51 warning signs of a bad first date and big red flags in the first few dates]

11. Avoid getting attached too fast

Online dating is vast. There are millions of people trying to find a connection. So try not to get too attached right off the bat.

Maybe you matched with someone that seems great. They are attractive, you share something in common, and have some fun banter. But if they disappear after one good talk, let it go.

If someone disappears before you exchange numbers, let it be. We know it’s cheesy, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. Don’t let one drown you. [Read: The most common Tinder horror stories]

12. Don’t lash out

This is so crazy, yet it happens all the time. If someone politely lets you down, just appreciate their honesty and move on.

There is no use for name-calling or accusing them of leading you on. If you do lash out, you are one of the reasons people prefer to ghost. [Read: 17 things you need to talk about when you’re online dating]

13. Write an awesome bio

Some people enjoy reading autobiographies, but the majority of online daters want to read your whole life’s story in just a few sentences, so keep it short and be honest.

It’s also a good idea to mind your spelling and grammar and keep things positive. Of course, you should also be confident but avoid being too full of yourself.

14. No filters allowed

Filtering selfies are all well and good, but using filters to alter your appearance to extreme levels can turn off the most discerning people who look at your profile. Over-filtering can seem tacky, but a simple lighting edit is acceptable. [Read: How to take a good selfie and look cute every time you snap a photo]

15. Make the first move in the right way

A good opener guarantees a close, so be original and make it count. Say something that you’re sure no one else has ever used before.

If you want to make an impression, use an effective pickup line. If you’re not feeling creative, use longer greetings like: “How’s it going?”, “What are you up to?” or “What are you doing these days?”

A little effort can go a long way.

16. Pay attention to their profile

Try to start a conversation with something that references their profile. Pander to a person’s ego and you will find that the results are almost always positive. [Read: 25 compliments that a guy will never forget]

17. Avoid closed questions

That means always following up with questions that require open-ended answers. Don’t ask questions that require a yes or no answer. Prompt people to elaborate so the conversation keeps on going.

And don’t be the incessant, creepy person who follows up on unanswered messages every few days. If they don’t reply after a couple of days, the conversation’s dead.

18. Know when to move things to in-person

Don’t let the conversation go on for more than a few days without asking for a number or any other way to connect. 

Dating profiles don’t last as long as phone numbers and social media profiles. The person you like can disappear at any time.

Ask for their contact details before they disappear from your life forever. Then, if you think you’re a good match, ask them out. [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying “yes”]

The traditional ways are usually the best

While there are many couples out there who met online, there are far more horror stories. Sometimes, the old-fashioned ways are just the best, right?

There are many reasons why online dating sucks, but if you want to give it a try and find out for yourself, be sure to follow our tips.

 [Read: Reasons online dating isn’t for everyone]

If you’re someone who has realized just how much online dating sucks, then you may be looking for an alternative way to find that special person. It just so happens doing things the old-fashioned way might work better.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. And while you’re at it, check out MIRL, a cool new social networking app that connects experts and seekers!

Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...