Have you ever experienced the freedom and the annoyance of a long distance relationship?
It’s just not easy, and it needs a lot of effort.
But at times, it’s also inevitable. We can’t always stay together and at times, love has to be separated, even if only for a while.
If you’re facing a prospective long distance relationship and are wondering how to handle it or even get through it, here’s everything you need to know.
How to make a long distance relationship work
Firstly, have a frank discussion with your sweetheart. What do you guys want to do about it?
Do you want to put your relationship on hold until you’re both within the same pin code or do you want to take a chance with long distance dating?
Remember, you won’t really have a perfect relationship when you’re hundreds or thousands of miles away from each other.
So if you really do think that both of you are perfect for each other, give it a go.
But if you’re not really convinced by long distance love or the dearth of sexual intimacy, let your point be known.
But all said and done, if true love wins and both of you are here for the long haul, use these tips on holding a long distance relationship together even when you’re both miles apart and you’ll be able to make it work.
Talk often, more than you ever have
Both of you can’t really meet every evening or even every week anymore. So there’s just no communication and small talk. And every great relationship needs that. Spend more time talking to each other and keep each other in the loop about your lives. Unless either of you get annoyed with regular calls, speak often with each other. And don’t skip out all those little intimate details like what you had for dinner, what color is your underwear and which side of your bed you’re facing.
After all, if you can’t take a peek into each other’s lives, the next best thing to keep love alive is to hear about every intimate detail. [Read: How to keep love alive in simple ways]
Get some face to face time
While emotional intimacy is paramount for a successful relationship, a bit of face time can do wonders too. Get on the webcam, drop a few love notes off occasionally for each other, send pictures of each other doing crazy things (just not nude crazy things), and make a point to get on skype and take a good look at each other at least a few times a week. An occasional peek of privates when you’re sure no one’s around can help too! [Read: Should you take naked pictures?]
Meet as frequently as possible
It may be hard to meet often if you’re on an expedition in the Amazon or living a thousand miles away, but no matter what the distance, try to schedule a prospective date to meet. And try to meet as often as you both can.
When you fix a date for the next meeting, it’ll keep the excitement alive even if the meeting is several months away. And as long as both of you take an initiative to meet up, both of you will feel good about it.
Don’t be jealous
If you want to make a long distance relationship work, hammer this into your head. Somehow, most lovers have the most trouble handling this little thing called jealousy.
Let’s face it, you know your partner is hot stuff. And you can’t really do anything if someone else is hitting on them, or if you hear a few rumors that your mate’s dating someone else or if you read a “last night was fun!” message on your lover’s facebook wall. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship]
Stop yourself from getting jealous, this is your sweetheart we’re talking about. This person is all yours and no one else’s. It’s easy to get worked up over nothing, so take it easy and wait for your partner to tell you all about it and have a laugh!
Learn to trust your partner and help your partner trust you
Long distance relationships can be more painful than fun if your partner’s someone who’s always attracted a lot of attention. But the one thing that matters here is the big question, do you trust your partner?
On the other hand, help your partner trust you and believe you. Always be frank and talk about every little incident so your partner never feels like they’re left out of the loop. And don’t call your partner when you’ve got giggling or noisy friends over. If there’s a weird message on your facebook wall, reply it in a manner that can clear the air for your long distance lover. [Read: How to build trust in love]
Always give your lover enough time over phone or skype and make them feel special and cared for. Losing trust in the relationship is one of the biggest reasons why lovers break up in a long distance relationship. And almost always, it’s usually a misunderstanding that triggers the lack of trust. So tread carefully on this one.
You can’t always be there for your partner emotionally
As helpless as you may seem, you need to get this into your head. You can’t always be there for your lover. When your partner does feel low or is having a bad day, all you can do is talk about it and ask your sweetheart to go out with a few friends and have some fun. Do just that.
But don’t get annoyed or pissed off that your partner’s out with their friends and god-knows-who-else. It’s a part of long distance relationship and loving from far away. You can’t help your lover or be there for them all the time. You’re two lovers who love each other but can’t be there physically for each other, at least for a while. Either of you should understand that, or one of you may end up disconnecting emotionally because the other person is of no help.
Your partner will make new friends *some attractive ones too*
Okay, so deal with it. You aren’t around to show the world that you own your lover, so there really isn’t anything you can do about it other than trust your partner. You have to understand that both of you are leading separate lives, and both of you are going to meet new friends. And at times, a new friend may be attractive, and at other times, a new friend may have a crush on your lover. [Read: Is it love or lust?]
But all these things are natural, and you should learn to take them in your stride. You may be in a long distance relationship, but your partner does love you and only you. Learn to trust your partner even if you’re having doubts about it. Making friends and meeting new people is natural and inevitable. And your lover is not going to have an affair with every new person they meet, so learn to calm your little heart.
[Read: More than friends – The signs]
Reassure each other of your love
Every now and then, reassure your partner and promise to stay loyal. You never know when your partner’s feeling insecure or anxious. By reminding your lover just how much you love them and how good it feels to talk to them, you’ll reassure your lover and help them cope with the long distance relationship. And learn to expect the same reassurance from your partner too.
Get naughty when you can
Love getting on skype or over the phone with your lover late at night? Well, turn up the heat now and then. One of the biggest pains of a long distance relationship is the lack of sexual intimacy. So work on that when both of you have the time. Have a few naughty conversations or work a pole. Do whatever turns each of you on and bring that sexual intimacy back into your long distance love. And if it’s safe, send a few of your clothes over too. Your partner will miss you more, want you more, and will love you more!
Learn to forgive and forget
You’ve heard this before and there’s a chance that you’ll hear it again. Shit happens. Separated lovers can feel rather lonely at times, and with temptation all around it’s easy to stray even if you don’t want to. Mistakes do happen, and it can be completely circumstantial. If your relationship ever experiences a painful mistake, learn to get over it. Sometimes, it’s not anyone’s fault unless one of you intentionally cheated on the other. [Read: Should you ever confess to cheating?]
Value your relationship and avoid temptations. Always remember that a mistake can feel good while it lasts, but it’ll never feel good once you’ve snapped out of it. And it may end your relationship or haunt both of you forever. If you do want to know how to make a long distance relationship work, learn to resist temptation and learn to forgive and forget. It’s one of the banes of a long distance relationship.
[Quiz: Would you cheat on your partner?]
Experiencing a long distance relationship isn’t easy. But once you’re back together in each other’s arms, you’ll realize how much both of you mean to each other, to survive the test of time and distance amidst all the temptation.
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