Nobody wants to sit there and think about the fact their boyfriend could be cheating. But the reality is that it does happen. But just because it’s a common reality doesn’t make it hurt any less. In fact, it probably makes it feel even worse.
Cheating is one of the most horrible things someone could do in a relationship—not to mention cowardly. Coming from someone who’s been cheated on before, it doesn’t feel too great, either. But some people just can’t handle being in a committed relationship, so they choose to be unfaithful.
How to tell if he’s getting busy with someone else
While most boyfriends try hard to hide their cheating ways, there are some surefire signs that will tell you he’s not being a very good boyfriend. His guilt might override his senses and cause him to slip up every now and then, allowing you the opportunity to catch him!
Just because your boyfriend might be guilty of some of these signs doesn’t mean he’s necessarily guilty of cheating, though. Stress, anxiety, and other things in his life could be the reason behind his sketchy actions. Nonetheless, below are some of the common signs of cheating that we’ve put together for you. So if they begin to pile up, you may just have a cheater on your hands. [Read: Stress ruining your relationship? 10 signs and quick fixes]
#1 He’s distant. If you’ve noticed his attention is not on you, and he seems even more distant than when he’s in one of his “go away” moods, it’s definitely a sign something is wrong.
It could be that he’s just stressed with work, but it could also mean he’s got something else going on and wants to keep his distance from you so as not to give his secret away.
#2 He doesn’t look at his texts or calls around you. When his phone rings or buzzes and you’re in the room, does he just ignore it without even taking it out to see who it is? If this is how he’s always been, that’s fine. But if this is new behavior, it’s a HUGE indication that he’s hiding something. [Read: Does your boyfriend talk to his ex all the time?]
#3 He’s always late for plans. Some men just happen to be late for everything. You know who they are! But if he’s off somewhere you don’t know about and shows up late for plans you’ve had for a while, something fishy might be going on.
#4 His excuses don’t add up. If, in addition to his being late, his excuses just don’t add up or make any sense at all, it’s a sign he might be cheating. Vague excuses are also a telltale giveaway that he’s up to no good. [Read: 13 giveaways to tell if someone is lying to your face]
#5 You feel like something is off. Your gut instinct is there for a reason. It’s a biological way for our bodies to alert our minds that something isn’t quite right. If you have a gut-wrenching feeling that something feels wrong, do some more digging, especially if he’s been acting strange. It could be a sign your boyfriend is cheating.
#6 He’s spending less and less time with you. Even if you’re both at home, if he’s been deciding to spend more time watching TV in the bedroom instead of with you in the living room, it could be a subtle sign that something’s going on.
Many men who cheat avoid spending time with the person they’re “committed” to because they fear they might slip-up and say something, or they might even feel guilty and can’t even stand to look at you. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]
#7 He’s spending more time with his “friends.” Everybody needs time with their friends. However, if he’s been spending extra time with his friends and being vague about what they’re doing or where they’re going, he could be seeing a different “friend” than you think.
#8 He put a lock on his phone when he didn’t have one before. I always got a horrible feeling whenever one of my ex-boyfriends would randomly put a passcode on his phone when he’d never had one before. To me, that raises red flags because it means he’s trying to hide something. [Read: 12 signs it’s time to jump ship and leave your partner]
#9 Your sex life is lacking. Not just in the amount, but also in how connected you feel to him. If your man is getting some from someone else, he won’t be in the mood so much with you. And when the two of you do get down under the sheets, you might not feel as connected to him as you did before.
#10 Your sex life is different. When you do get some one-on-one sexy time with your man and he starts pulling out these random sex moves you’ve never seen, it might be cause for concern. Some boyfriends who cheat bring their bedroom antics from their other lovers into your bedroom. You’ll notice.
However, if your love life is lacking, this could be a time to spice things up a little, and not necessarily a sign that he’s having an affair. [Read: 10 naughty sex games for couples to feel horny again]
#11 He’s trying new things with his appearance. Men usually don’t feel the need to change their appearance in any way when they have been in a committed relationship for a long time. They’re usually pretty comfortable with themselves.
So if you notice that he got a new haircut, is smelling nicer than usual, or has even started manscaping, he could be seeing someone behind your back.
#12 Mood swings. Guilt can do a lot to a person’s everyday emotions. If he gets mad at the drop of a hat or is extra annoyed with you for no reason, cheating could be the reason. On the flip side, if you notice that he will now very randomly treat you with extra lovey-dovey affection all of a sudden, it could be that he’s trying to make up for what he’s just done with someone else. [Read: 16 reasons why your boyfriend’s so mean!]
#13 Details are fuzzy for him. If he can’t seem to remember the movie you saw together a month ago or is skipping out on the details of certain events, it could be because he can’t remember who he saw them with: you or the other woman.
#14 His taste in movies and music has changed. Remember how when you first start seeing someone and they like a different kind of music than you would normally listen to, you immediately go home and listen to that music just to be able to relate to them?
If your man is listening to country music when he’s usually into rap, it could be a sign that he’s listening to it for someone else.
#15 He doesn’t pick up your calls anymore. When he’s at work for the day or out with his friends and ignores your phone calls, it could be a sign that he doesn’t want you to be hearing any background noise *ahem, another female voice*. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
#16 He has a new female friend on Facebook, but they don’t have mutual friends. When he randomly has a new Facebook friend you’ve never seen or heard of, it could be a sketchy sign that he’s secretly seeing that person.
#17 People are telling you they saw him with someone else. You may have friends your boyfriend has never seen before, and those friends might spot him out with his side-chick. If your friends are telling you they saw him with a woman they don’t know, it could mean he’s cheating.
#18 You see emails from a suspicious woman. If your boyfriend just so happens to leave his email open and you see multiple emails from the same woman *who you have never heard of*, it could be his way of discreetly communicating with his mistress. [Read: What is an emotional affair? And is your partner having one?]
#19 You see comments on his social media from a suspicious woman. That same person who added him as a friend is now commenting on old pictures and maybe even being flirty. Hate to break it to you, but this could be a sign your boyfriend is cheating with her.
#20 He confesses his affair. Well, this is a definite sign he’s cheating. He says he is! While it may suck, at least he was man enough to admit it to your face, even if he was sneaking around for a while before finally confessing.
[Read: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner in the act!]
Cheating is something nobody wants to even picture their significant other doing. But if you have a feeling that something is off, these 20 signs will help you determine if your boyfriend is being unfaithful.
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