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25 Secrets to Catch a Cheater Red-Handed In the Act & With the Right Proof!

Does your instinct tell you your partner is cheating on you? Use these discreet and smart ways to catch a cheater red-handed!

how to Catch a Cheater

Sometimes, you just know when your partner is being unfaithful. You don’t know how, but you feel it in your gut. You try confronting your partner about it, but they swat your concerns away and tell you that you’re just being paranoid. So how do you catch a cheater without any solid proof?

Of course, you may be wrong, but if you know you’re not overly jealous, clingy, or insecure, don’t let anyone invalidate your feelings.

A lot of the time, the butterflies in our stomachs feel like warnings. And the fact that you doubt your partner is a clear sign that things aren’t all rosy in romance land.

Just suppressing your doubts and fears, and pretending like everything’s perfectly normal won’t help you at all. In fact, it’ll just tear both of you apart from the inside, day by day.

[Read: Clingy girlfriend signs that’ll ruin your relationship]

Is your partner cheating on you?

If you feel insecure in a relationship, always talk to your partner and tell them what you feel. Sometimes, it may just be a silly misunderstanding. And communication always helps sort things out, even if one of you is on the verge of looking out for an affair. [Read: The biggest problems in a relationship and ten ways to fix them all]

But if your doubts don’t get erased even after the conversation, then you must come up with a plan, and here are the signs to look for:

1. Changes in communication

If your partner is a cheater, you’ll catch them ignoring you, changing topics, getting angry, making excuses why they can’t answer the phone, avoiding questions, making accusations, using dismissive body language, and acting passive-aggressively.

2. Changes in appearance and hobbies

You may also catch the cheater dressing nicer or having a sudden increase of interest in their appearance. Or they may work longer hours and stay late in the office.

Changes to improve oneself can have a positive effect. But if you realize that ever since they started doing this, they’ve been keeping their distance from you, they’re probably a cheater trying not to get caught.

3. Changes in your sex life

The sex isn’t as good as it used to be, if you’re still having sex at all. They’re always “too tired” when they get home, always making excuses to not get close to you. Don’t start assuming it’s your fault. They’re probably getting it from someone else.

But don’t be too excited if they come home one day and suggest you two try some new things. Because where did they learn that from?

There’s one important sign that we all don’t want to encounter – you learn that you have a sexually transmitted infection. Yikes! [Read: Hate sex – the rules to make love with hate and enjoy it!]

4. Money issues

If you two are married, their money is your problem, too. So when you notice charges on credit card statements that don’t make sense, or they suddenly stop planning for future purchases like family trips or buying a house, you may have a cheater to catch.

5. Changes in technology use

They’re always on their phone, always online, but always ignoring your text messages. If they let you know their password, well, you don’t anymore because they’ve changed it. When they’re with you, they’re always checking their phone or sneaking off to take calls.

They may even clear their browsers, get weird about you borrowing their phone, and liking pictures of random attractive people on Instagram. [Read: Snapchat cheating – what it is & signs your partner is doing it]

6. They lie

The biggest giveaway is how they seem to lie about everything. From the smallest things like who just texted them to where they spent their weekend.

A liar always starts with a small lie, and it’s like a snowball rolling down the hill. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger until it crashes and someone gets hurt. [Read: Why do men cheat? 43 honest reasons, excuses & ways to prevent it]

What you need to know before you learn how to catch a cheater

You cannot go back from this. If you try these ways, hoping to catch a cheater, it obviously means that you cannot trust the person you’re with. No matter what the outcome, you’ll risk hurting both of you.

So even if you go through with this and discover that they’re not cheating, you and them still have a giant problem you need to work on: trust. So, you can either go to therapy to rebuild trust or break up with them. [Read: Is watching porn cheating?]

19 ingenious ways to catch a cheater

This may not be easy for you, but you must keep it together. Screaming and crying won’t solve the problem. The cheater won’t get caught, and you’ll make yourself look like you’re the one that has problems.

Don’t try to guilt trip them because most cheaters don’t care how much you love them. If they did, they wouldn’t have cheated in the first place. They’re just too selfish to think about anyone but themselves.

Just pretend like everything’s normal while you come up with a plan. Once your partner thinks you don’t suspect them anymore, use these 19 tips to catch a cheater right in the act!

[Read: 23 fun, classy ways to get revenge]

1. Watch the signs

Watch for the signs mentioned above. The more signs you notice, the more guarded you should be.

But if the signs aren’t enough to tell *let’s be real, some people go around lying and faking smiles like they’re running for president*, you need to take action to catch the cheater. [Read: He cheated on you? How to get over a guy without seeking revenge]

2. Drop by unannounced

Every now and then, drop by unannounced to their workplace or come back home early. Don’t make it obvious that you’re just spying on them. Instead, always have a great excuse to walk in unannounced.

If your partner is cheating on you, the first thing they’d do *instead of welcoming you with a smile* is hide something or appear surprised or even angry! [Read: Big reasons and 27 excuses behind why men cheat!]

3. Check their recycle bin

The garbage is a great place to dispose of things. And sometimes, it also has a lot of clues. If your partner is on the computer often, check the computer’s trash or recycle bin.

Chances are, there may be another person’s photo or a little snippet of information that could be of some use.

4. Snoop around on their phone

Does your partner carry their phone with them wherever they go *which they never did before*, even if it’s a trip to the toilet?

If that’s happening in your relationship, there’s a good chance your partner’s up to something. Take a peek into their phone when you get the chance, especially when they’ve put the phone on charge.

Try checking the call history, social media apps, and the deleted folder on their camera roll. They can be careless and forget to permanently delete some evidence.

If the flirty emojis they use are different from the ones they sent you, they may be flirting with someone else. [Read: 25 reasons why women cheat so easily on their man]

5. Stalk their social media

Social media is the easiest place to catch a cheater. Check their following list on Instagram. See if they’re liking photos of naked girls and interacting with someone more than others.

If you can, check their dms, too. But beware, because the result might break your heart.

6. Get to know their friends of the opposite sex

It’s a green flag if a guy has female friends as it shows he knows how to treat women with respect. The same goes for a girl who has a lot of guy friends, which means she’s outgoing and loved by everyone.

However, there should be boundaries in these friendships. Their “best friend” shouldn’t be all over them whenever they’re in the same room or ignoring you when you’re there.

Don’t act all jealous, which only makes you look bad. You must stay calm and get to know their close friends. If they’re genuinely good people, you can ask them to watch your partner’s behavior for you. If they’re up to no good, prepare to catch yourself a cheater

7. Spontaneous sex

This works better if you’re a girl, and dating a guy. If your boyfriend or husband comes home late from any unexpected delay, try to ask for spontaneous sex with them. If your guy gets angry or tries avoiding it at all costs, he might have done a lot of “work” before coming home.

He could always wash himself up before getting home, but getting it up immediately and blowing a huge load, that’s not the easiest thing to do!

Only try this if you two haven’t had sex in a while, because your partner has every right to deny you sex if they’re not up for it. Let’s be honest, who can have sex all day every day? [Read: Revenge sex – my own experience and everything I learned from it]

8. Follow after a fight

Another way to catch a cheater is not to leave them alone after a fight.

Yes, sometimes walking away from each other in a heated argument can be the best way to calm yourself down. However, if your partner keeps doing this and none of the fights have been resolved, it’s a red flag.

Most cheating partners intentionally pick fights, slam the door, and walk away because it makes a great excuse to slip out of the house and meet their adulterous lover. If your partner’s been doing that often recently, try to follow them on the presence of apologizing *if they see you following them*.

You may not catch the cheater, but you may get to finish the conversation and resolve your problems. [Read: Tips to fight fair in love and get closer after a fight]

9. Change your sleeping habits

To catch the cheater, notice how their sleeping habits may change almost overnight. They may stay up longer using the excuse of work, or you may catch them sneaking around the house at 2 AM.

Pretend like you’re asleep as soon as you hit the bed, and try to see if your partner’s up to something. Do they get out of bed for long periods of time?

And it’s not just late nights you need to think about. Some cheating partners may even wake up really early and get on the phone, especially if they realize you suspect them. [Read: Dreams about cheating – what they mean & why you don’t have to panic]

10. Walk in when they least expect it

Try walking in on your partner when they least expect it without announcing yourself, especially if they’ve been by themselves for a while.

Does your partner act jumpy or nervous when you walk in on them, especially if they’re over the phone or in front of their computer? They were probably doing something wrong and no cheater ever wants to get caught. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

11. Include yourself in their plans

All of a sudden, your partner may stay out a lot of nights at work, or have a lot of get-togethers on their social calendar with their friends. Why not invite yourself? Ask them if you can tag along and see how they react.

Remember that your partner doesn’t have to spend every second of the day with you. They should be allowed to have their own life, too. So you should only do this if they avoid you so often that you rarely spend time with them anymore. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t even notice!]

12. Get information from your mutual friends

If you have mutual friends, you can catch a cheater by asking them to do the dirty work for you. Ask them to keep an eye on your partner and let you know if your partner acts suspiciously behind your back.

Even better, you can try to get close to your partner’s friends and get information from the inside. Also, if their friends like you and find out that they cheat, their friends will definitely be on your side.

13. Create a fake profile

If you’re not afraid to get down and dirty, you can get creative with a fake Instagram account. Follow them and message them, try to flirt with them.

If they flirt back and don’t instantly say they’re taken, they’re going to cheat on you if they haven’t already. [Read: Is revenge sex a good way to get back at a cheating partner?]

14. Hidden cameras

Place a spycam in the room where your partner hangs out most often when they want alone time. If they’re over the phone or doing some funny business behind your back, you’ll know soon enough. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

15. Keyloggers

Keyloggers are software that you can download off the internet *some free and some for a price*. Some of these keyloggers, especially the paid versions, can be installed on a computer and the person using it would never know it’s running in the background.

These programs can record whatever you want, the passwords they use, the letters they type, the pages they visit, or even record a video of the screen as they use the computer. [Read: How to end an affair and get over it completely]

16. GPS device

Are you the one who wants to catch your partner red-handed? Then the stalker mode may work for you!

Pick up a tiny GPS device that can be fixed to the underside of your partner’s car. You can track their movements and pounce on them when their pants are around their ankles in a sleazy motel out of town! [Read: How to confess to cheating on your partner the right way]

17. Use a spy app

Spy applications are one of the most effective ways to catch a cheater. They can record all Facebook and WhatsApp chats, as well as text messages and other types of communications.

They can monitor incoming and outgoing calls as well as internet activity. They can also be used to keep track of your partner’s location in real time.

18. Borrow their phone

Tell them you need to borrow their phone and make up some excuse about why you can’t use yours. You can snoop around, or not, but the real purpose here is to see how they react to it.

If they get jumpy and refuse to let you borrow their phone, even if it’s just to make one call or send one text message, that may be a cheater, scared they’ll get caught.

19. Ask them

The most badass way to catch a cheater is to confront them. The purpose isn’t to get them to admit it. They might deny and deny and deny. Because even if a cheater knows they’re caught, they still won’t own up to it.

Show them that you are calm and in control of the situation. Let them know if they’re really cheating, then you’re going to walk out on them and not come back. Give them a chance to own up to it. And if they decide to lie anyway, the truth will come out eventually, and karma’s a bitch!

Use these ways if you want to catch a cheating partner because no cheater should get away with their adulterous ways. But remember that once you’ve decided to do this, at least one of you will get hurt.

[Read: 34 reasons to break up with someone & leave even if you love them]

If you’ve caught a cheater, you must break up with them. If it’s all in your head, you and your partner both need relationship counseling or a lot of time separated to work on yourselves individually.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...