Why Do Men Cheat? 43 Honest Reasons, Excuses & Ways to Prevent It

Have you ever stopped to wonder ‘why do men cheat?’ It’s complex and tough to think about, but it might be easier to figure out than you think. 

why do men cheat?

If you’re wondering why do men cheat, the truth is, as much as we hate to admit it, men do have a natural instinct to stray *just like any human!*. If they think they can get away with cheating, they cheat.

It’s what their mind tells them to do, even if their conscience tells them otherwise. A man of principles though, a man who has integrity, may hold himself back even when the opportunity arises.

He holds himself back, not because he doesn’t like the thought of having another woman, he holds himself back only because of his integrity. But truth be told, it IS very hard to avoid cheating, especially if no one would ever get to know the truth!

[Read: 15 traits of a real man the way he really should be]

Why do men cheat and what’s love got to do with it?

It’s been said time and again that one would never cheat if they’re truly in love with someone.

But is that really true?

When it comes to asking why do men cheat, new findings suggest that the reason why most men cheat is because of emotional reasons. Men are apparently more sensitive than they make themselves out to be. They need constant attention and praise. A lack of either of those makes them appreciate people who do. And those people are the ones that they usually cheat with.

If a woman is more concerned about her appearance and her man’s attraction to her, it comes as no surprise that she would be falling short of her role as a supportive partner.

By focusing more on yourself, you start to lose interest in your partners’ lives. You’d start to become obsessed with how he perceives you, just to prevent him from cheating. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

Women also used to thinking that physical attraction plays the most vital part in cheating, but 88% of the men surveyed admitted that the women they cheated with were less attractive than their partners!

This could mean that a man might be looking for someone less attractive because they think that person is more likely to compensate for their physical shortcomings through love and affection.

Aside from that, men are apparently more likely to cheat when enablers are around. Approximately 77% of the men in the study said that they had friends who were also cheaters. Friends like those are usually the ones who cheer them on and give them advice on how to cheat. [Read: Dreams about cheating – What they mean and why you don’t have to panic]

Cheating is a lot of work that’s just not worth the squeeze

Seriously, any guy or girl who’s ever cheated would know this, cheating is just not easy, especially if you’re living in a society like ours where cheating is considered taboo.

It takes a lot of planning, a lot of covering up *faking expenses, faking work hours and faking weekend escapes, and a lot more!* just to enjoy an hour or so of sexual pleasure that turns to guilt as soon as you orgasm and reach for the skies. [Reader confession: I cheated on my boyfriend with two guys and feel so much better!]

So when a guy makes the effort to cheat, it surely means there’s something wrong somewhere else. The cause could be a failing relationship or a mind that’s addicted to the thrill of straying. In that case, asking why do men cheat is quite complex.

Or worse, it could mean that he’s so smitten by another woman that he doesn’t care about his own lover who loves him and cares for him, and he’s willing to throw it all away for someone else. [Read: 16 sure signs your man is cheating on you already!]

Unfortunately, cheating is in our genes

Every man and woman in a relationship has the ability to cheat and destroy a relationship if they choose to.

We’re all serial breeders who toy with the idea of having several sexual partners in a lifetime.

But, the rules of present-day society have altered our minds to accept cheating as a moral aberration in our conscience and forced us to think of it only as a sexual fantasy. [Read: Top 10 sexual fantasies for men and Top 10 sexual fantasies for women]

But unless you have no moral conscience whatsoever, guilt inevitably enters the picture when you cheat on a lover. And you can’t ever look at your lover the way you once did.

A man may not necessarily fantasize about cheating, but he may very well fantasize about being with another woman he finds exciting or attractive. There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing because all of us do it anyway.

But it’s one thing to fantasize about cheating, and a completely different one to plot it and carry it off successfully. After all, it takes a lot of planning and determination.

Men who cheat, even on a one-night stand, have almost always thought about it or fantasized about it in their head, and have an excuse for it the next morning. Unless you think it in your mind, you can’t do it, however suddenly it happens.

If an unplanned scenario crops up all of a sudden, most of us freeze after a kiss. We don’t unbuckle our pants unless we’ve played the fantasy in some form in our heads before. There are exceptions here, but that doesn’t happen too often. [Read: Why flirting with someone isn’t cheating even if you’re in a relationship]

Why do men cheat? The key reasons you need to know

There are several reasons why a man may actually end up having an affair with another woman.

Of course, as a woman, you can’t fix all the reasons behind a man’s cheating streak. But if you give a second thought about these reasons, you’d see that almost always, a man cheats when the relationship is going downhill for both of you. [Read: The 25 rules of love to follow in a happy and successful relationship]

So what you do here is a decision you need to take.

And sometimes, it’s easier to just walk away from a cheater instead of trying to change yourself and become someone else, just to hold on to a man who’s waiting to leave you and walk into another woman’s arms, time and again.

So if you’re wondering why do men cheat, here’s every single reason and excuse you need to know, to understand a straying man’s mind.

1. He doesn’t feel you respect him

A man may cheat when he believes that he’s not getting the respect he deserves from his woman.

For a relationship to succeed, a man needs respect from his woman and a woman needs unconditional love from a man. If the woman doesn’t respect him, he’ll fall for someone who respects him. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]

2. He has a lack of respect for the relationship in general

He doesn’t respect the relationship he’s in, nor does he value it enough to avoid straying.

If a man truly cares about his relationship the way he cares about his own life, he’d avoid doing anything that may jeopardize it or hurt his partner. This is one of the most common answers to why do men cheat, and one of the worst.

3. You’re always arguing with each other

Do you and your man argue often? When arguments crop up all the time with no conclusive happy endings to the fight, it may leave both of you frustrated. [Read: The right way to fight fair in a relationship]

4. He’s frustrated about some element of his life

A man who’s frustrated in life for any reason at all could jump into another woman’s arms just to convince himself that he’s still awesome and can get what he desires.

5. He can’t communicate his feelings

Not all men are good communicators.

For many men who have a hard time communicating with their lover, it’s easier to just walk away and look for comfort elsewhere instead of trying to fix things with their own partner. [Read: A few things to keep in mind while communicating with your lover]

6. He needs some space

As much as couples need together time, they also need space.

If a guy feels claustrophobic in love, he’ll pounce at a flirty girl at the very first opportunity he gets just to experience the freedom of singledom, even if it lasts just for a few hours. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and make love grow]

7. He’s trying to get revenge for something

Sometimes, even if it’s the dumbest thing to do, a man will use revenge sex to get back at his wife or girlfriend for something she’s done. [Read: Is revenge sex ever really worth it?]

8. The relationship has become boring to him

Why do men cheat? Boredom. You may be in love, but unless there’s something exciting and new all the time, the relationship starts to feel like a burden. The guy may want more excitement in his life.

9. Your sexual appetites don’t match anymore

This is more common than you may think. All of us have varying sexual appetites.

And if a guy wants to have sex a few times a week while his girl just likes having sex once a month, it’s definitely not going to end well for either of them. [Read: How to get over a sexual dry spell and make sex exciting again]

10. He craves something new

All of us crave excitement all the time. It’s what keeps us going with every new day. If a relationship starts to stagnate or gets monotonous, there’s a good chance that your man may look beyond your shoulders to spice up his own life. [Read: 28 super sexy and desirable ways to make your man want you more than ever!]

11. He feels controlled

Are you a control freak who loves having everything under control? Does your man usually do whatever you suggest? Does he back away from any conflict with you?

He may go looking for an affair just to see his balls swell up with manliness again.

12. He doesn’t seriously think the relationship will last

This is something we see in younger relationships. A guy usually has a backup girlfriend in mind just in case things don’t work out between the both of you, even if he tells no one else about it.

It’s usually a friend who’s attractive and rather friendly. And at times, this backup girl may just end up taking your place in between the sheets. It’s one of the common answers to the question of why do men cheat.

13. You’ve changed physically

Now, this is wrong to voice out openly, but it’s a harsh reality we’ve all come to see around us. Have you let yourself go ever since both of you started dating?

Does he have to roll over you twice now before he has to get off you after sex? Look sexy and feel sexy, and he’ll avoid straying away from you. [Read: How to look better naked using 15 real life tips]

14. He wants more love

Sometimes, a man’s heart wants all the love it can handle. And that may happen to include more than the love of just one woman.

If he’s a romantic casanova, he may try to woo women all the time, just to feel good about all the love he experiences in the world.

15. He doesn’t want to be wholly dependent on you

A lot of guys have the fear of commitment.

And just when they feel like they’re falling deeply in love, they pull back and close up. Or they have an affair just to convince themselves that they’re not entirely dependent on you for their happiness! [Read: 10 sure signs your guy’s got the fear of commitment!]

16. He’s craving some variety

A total cliché to understand why men cheat, but a true one, variety is the spice of life.

All of us want new experiences all the time, but some selfish and immature men take this adage one step too far and start looking at other women as wooing potentials, not because they’re unhappy in love, but because they want more variety in their bed!

17. He’s keen on new experiences

A guy may be the most loyal of lovers, and he may be the perfect boyfriend or husband. But at times, for no reason at all, he may start pursuing a new girl just to remember how the thrill of the chase feels like.

If both of you start to feel bored in the relationship, it’s only a matter of time before one of you starts straying just to make life feel more exciting. [Read: 15 reasons why either of you may be bored with your relationship]

18. He’s hardwired to cheat – some guys are

Why do men cheat? For some, it’s who they are. And there’s nothing you can do to change them. It could be a deep-rooted psychological issue, or perhaps they just don’t care about relationships.

19. He has sexual desires he doesn’t want to talk to you about

If your guy asks you to go down on him, do you push him away and say something like “that’s something only porn stars do!”?

It could be as simple as a blowjob or it could be more deviant like bondage or golden rivers. If a man craves for something he’s too ashamed to ask or something you don’t ever intend to offer, his sexual desires may force him to go looking for someone else. [Read: How to talk dirty and get your man to open up his sexual side]

20. He doesn’t feel like you understand him

There can be happiness in a marriage or a relationship only when there’s communication in a relationship.

If your man feels like you just don’t understand him anymore, he may find himself getting attached to someone else who listens to him. [Read: 24 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]

21. He feels overwhelmed with options

If you’re wondering why men cheat, you should know that some men are too lazy to try to fix a problem in a relationship, and instead just walk into another woman’s arms.

Don’t try to change these selfish men. You’ll only end up getting hurt because all they care about is their own happiness, and not the relationship.

22. There’s a lack of sexual chemistry

Sexual chemistry matters. A lot! Many people assume love is all you need to keep a relationship or a marriage alive, but that’s nonsense.

A happy relationships needs romance and a sizzling sex life. If a man’s stuck in a relationship with no sexual chemistry, he’ll start fantasizing about another woman who gives him a hard on every time she flirtily touches him! [Read: The easiest ways to create sexual chemistry and make it stay]

23. He finds you boring

Are you a prude who doesn’t like discussing sex? Or are you a homely woman who loves her solitude?

If your man has an active lifestyle and you don’t share an interest in socializing or having fun outside the house, he may start to find you too boring to stay in love with.

24. He’s trying to prove himself

Everyone thinks he’s a hero because so awesome and he’s such an achiever, but you think he’s still the same geeky guy you met in college.

You don’t see him for the awesome man that he and everyone else think he is. And that hurts him, and makes him want to sleep with a woman who believes he’s the God of Awesomeness!

25. You often accuse him of cheating

Do you constantly accuse your man of cheating just so he can reassure you and convince you of his love for you? Or do you pick a fight with him often because he spends too much time at work with that sexy minx of a colleague of his?

If you don’t want to push your man to cheat, don’t ever let your insecurity get the better of you unless you have conclusive proof, or you’d just end up forcing him into an affair because he thinks you don’t trust him anyway. [Read: How to stop insecurity from ruining your relationship]

26. Another girl is crazy about him

Men are the protectors of the human species. Well, that’s what they think anyway!

So when a really attractive girl falls for a guy and pleads with him to date her or bed her, a man’s macho heart may soften and get mushy, and he may even share a few kisses or cuddles in bed just to make her feel better. *WTF, right?*

Call it pity cheating or flattery sex, but this usually works with powerful men who like having their egos stroked every now and then. If we’re asking why do men cheat, this is one of the weakest excuses!

27. Or, he’s awed by another girl

And you don’t want to hear anything about it. A relationship blooms as long as there’s good communication in the relationship.

Speak out to each other about your crushes and flirty conversations with other people, explore your deepest, darkest thoughts together, and voice your opinions however silly or dirty it may seem.

Sometimes, your man may like the attention a girl in his office gives him. But he’s too scared to talk about it with you because he assumes you’d be pissed to hear about it. And that makes the conversation taboo.

Of course, what’s taboo always makes it more exciting and thrilling. What starts off as simple flirty glances at work could end in an affair. All because he couldn’t talk to you about it, and the secret thoughts turned into intense sexual attraction and desire. [Read: 30 naughty questions for couples to learn more about each other instantly]

28. He’s threatened by you

There are women who seem to have it all together. They’ve got great careers. They’re cultured and intelligent. And they know how to please their man.

But despite this, the guys they’re with might still cheat simply because he thinks he doesn’t deserve someone so awesome. Just like almost all excuses guys use to cheat, this is not the woman’s fault at all!

It’s the guy’s inability to handle this “threat” that causes him to cheat.

So what does he do? He finds another woman who’s not as great as his girlfriend and uses this other woman to feel like he still has the one up on another person. This gives him a bit of a self-esteem boost because whenever he’s with the other woman, he doesn’t feel the need to try and equal her success. [Read: Why men feel emasculated – The 3 big reasons]

29. He thinks you’re cheating on him

Again, this may stem from insecurity and some form of paranoia. Sometimes, men cheat on their partners because they can’t seem to believe that someone who seems so perfect would just settle for them.

He’s convinced that his partner must be cheating, and in turn, he does the same to her.

He may think that his relationship is too good to be true. So in his poorly conceived defense, he convinces himself that his partner can’t possibly be faithful to a guy such as him. Therefore, he preemptively cheats on her before she has the chance to do it to him. [Read: How to get over trust issues in your relationship and move forward]

30. He feels ignored

The thing about a well-rounded woman is that she may have other activities that take up the time that the guy thinks he “deserves.”

She may be busy with her career, with taking extra classes, with getting fit, and a bunch of other things that can actually make their relationship thrive.

So while his woman is out there improving herself, the guy is just sitting around and selfishly wallowing on the fact that he’s being neglected.

When he’s done wallowing, instead of coming up with productive activities to do while his woman is busy, he goes out and finds another woman who can give him the attention he feels entitled to. [Read: The psychology of ignoring someone – Why we do it and ways to fix it]

31. His friends are cheating

Peer pressure can be the worst, and sometimes, men cheat just to fit in. A guy who hangs around with other guys who cheat may feel the need to prove himself to his gang. His pals may say that being faithful is boring and that in order to assert their manliness, they have to sleep with as many women as they can.

The guy, not wanting to be the “loser” of the group, may acquiesce and find himself some girl who would agree to sleep with him. And even if he feels remorse, his pals may make him feel like he’s accomplished something.

He gets positive reinforcement by being “one of the cool guys” so he keeps doing it to stay as “cool” as his friends. [Read: Why do people in happy relationships still cheat?]

32. The other woman gives him something you don’t or can’t

There are some guys who just can’t seem to get over this one thing that their girlfriends can’t give them. Time, as mentioned earlier, is one of these things. Other things that his girlfriend may not be able to provide are a shared interest in certain activities or even sexual acts.

Since the guy wants all the perks of being with his girlfriend, he finds another woman who will give him that one thing that his girlfriend can’t.

For instance, he may be way more into sports than his girlfriend is. In not being able to get the sports rush with his number one, he goes to his number two to combine the thrill of his favorite sport with some mischief on the side.

33. He’s terrible at saying “no”

He’s always worried about not pleasing other people, and he only ever stands up for himself when he really needs to. Enter a woman who persists in getting what she wants at any cost. In order to not hurt her feelings, he may politely entertain her. [Read: 22 big signs of a weak man in a relationship that may surprise you]

Entertaining the interests of another woman is a subject that’s still up for debate. But if the guy is too spineless to outrightly refuse this seductress, he may end up being swayed into cheating on his girlfriend, usually with a hefty dose of alcohol in the mix.

Don’t get us wrong, when it comes to why men cheat, this is clearly still his fault for not growing a pair at such a crucial time.

34. He thinks that what you don’t know won’t hurt you

Sometimes, the circumstances just fall into place so well that he can cheat without worrying about getting caught. For example, he’s alone on a business trip and he decides to sleep with a girl he met. Afterward, they sever their ties and pretend that the whole thing didn’t happen.

This scenario can be so tempting for most guys that they just go ahead and do it.

The problem with this is just because she doesn’t know, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. It will hang on his conscience for the rest of his life. But for some guys, the extra weight on their conscience is completely negligible. [Read: How to know if he’s lying to you without asking or confronting him]

35. He wants to leave, but needs a replacement first

For whatever reason, this numbskull of a man may choose to leave a woman who’s already a catch. But instead of being a man and just saying what he feels outright, he feels like he needs a safety net to catch him when he jumps out of his relationship.

That safety net can come in the form of another woman who’s willing to be his paramour until he gets the guts to leave his current girlfriend.

The problem with this flawed logic is that instead of coming clean and just ending things on good terms, he chooses to ruin it by involving a third party. His fear of not finding a replacement soon enough pushes him to make his two relationships overlap, thus hurting at least one of the two women he’s dating.

36. Basically, he’s just an idiot

There are lucky men who attract wonderful women despite not being the usual kind of guy that these women would date. And what does he do with his incredible stroke of luck? He squanders it by cheating on her.

When you wonder why men cheat, clearly, this behavior is simply inexplicable. Maybe it’s just a habit. Maybe he’s not clever enough to realize just what a catch she is. And the only way to explain it is by concluding that he’s just dumber than a bag of hammers. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend you need to leave ASAP]

Can you stop your boyfriend from cheating?

Basically, if a man is going to cheat, there’s not a lot you can do to stop him. But, if there’s something about the relationship that’s causing him distress, there may be something you can do to stop him from straying.

1. Spend quality time together

If you spend more time with your partner, you can learn more about each other and stay updated with each other’s lives.

This way, you’ll know if something’s bothering him, and if he needs a little more attention than what you’re giving. [Read: 80 very unique, fun and exciting things to do with your boyfriend]

2. Have some time apart too

Don’t be one of those couples that’s always together. Spend time together and also see your friends. A balance of time together and apart means you have more to talk about and you’ll appreciate one another far more.

3. Show affection

For those of you who keep saying that you’re not an affectionate person? Think again. There may be some events in our lives that lead to us being aloof and guarded, but all of those hang-ups need to go when you agree to be in a relationship.

Try to take some baby steps. A hug here, a kiss out of the blue there – the smallest things can actually make a huge difference. [Read: How to show affection in a relationship when it doesn’t come naturally]

4. Appreciate his effort

We know it seems tawdry to cheer for the simplest things, but sometimes it can help you and your partner grow closer.

This is especially important if you asked for a favor. Don’t be contemptuous and say, “So you finally did it.” Just be grateful and say a little “thank you.”

5. Be his cheerleader and congratulate him

It’s hard to compete with everyone in the world for every accomplishment, but we all have little victories to look forward to every day in our lives.

It could be a promotion, paying off the mortgage, or losing that one stubborn pound. Whatever it is, it deserves a little cheer. No need for pom-poms. You can just say, “You are awesome!” [Read: How to be a good girlfriend – 27 easy ways to make him love you way more]

6. Acknowledge him

He exists in your life. You chose to be with him. In order for your partner to know that you’ve got his back, he needs to see that you know what he’s here for.

Let him into your life. Tell him what’s on your mind. Make decisions together. That’s how your partner will know that you’re always there for him.

7. Keep your sex life exciting

We’ve mentioned a few reasons related to sex that cause men to cheat occasionally. So, a good way to try and prevent it is to make sure your sex life is exciting.

That doesn’t mean swinging from the chandeliers every night, but try new things and initiate sex yourself sometimes. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 sexy ways]

The difference between men who cheat and women who cheat

Men and women cheat for almost the same reasons. But without the risk of stereotyping this, we’d say that men cheat more for sexual pleasure and sexual experiences while women cheat more for emotional attachment. There may be exceptions to the cliché, but more often than not, this is how it works in a long-term relationship. [Read: 25 reasons why women cheat so easily all the time!]

Sometimes, there’s really not much you can do if your man cheats on you or makes you feel insecure. But affairs and insecurities can be avoided by a long way as long as there’s excellent communication in a relationship, deep trust in each other, and a sizzling sexual chemistry.

Really, if you’re so awesome that you’re more woman than your man could ever want or need, why would he ever dream of cheating on you, unless he’s a selfish prick? Think about it.

[Read: The bad girl traits every guy secretly wishes his girl would have!]

Why do men cheat? These major reasons and excuses explain it all. Now all you need to do is be awesome, and you won’t have a thing to worry about because the world will be your oyster and your man, your bitch!

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. And while you’re at it, check out MIRL, a cool new social networking app that connects experts and seekers!

Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...