Are you in a relationship you believe is bound for the gutters? Don’t be stuck in a rut. Read up to see if now is when to give up on a relationship.
People change, feelings change. Perhaps the fire of desire has now turned to ash, and you have no clue. Maybe you clamor to keep the fire alive, but there’s just no saving it. The love (or even the respect) vanished. So don’t wonder if you feel depressed, angry, or generally feel like shit. It’s just time to throw in the towel and give up on a relationship.
14 signs to know when to give up on a relationship
If you aren’t sure if you should stay and fight for your relationship or decide to move on, read on to know when to give up on a relationship or if it has one more chance.
#1 When you’re always looking back. A good sign of a healthy relationship is your ability to live in the present with no regrets from the past or fear of the future. However, if you feel tied down by your past so much that you can’t move on, then that’s a red flag. Your relationship stagnated in an unhealthy place if you have to think back on your happy moments because nothing remotely close to those happy moments happens now. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]
#2 When it’s more pain than bliss. A relationship is a commitment to always choose each other through both the triumphs and the hardships. And the good and bad definitely seem inevitable.
Perhaps during the beginning of the relationship, you’re always happy as you bask in the glow of early romance. However, reality hits, and there may be troubles along the way. If your relationship leaves you unhappy more than happy, then there’s something wrong.
#3 When there’s always a condition. Love should be free and unconditional. If you find yourself working hard just to get the approval, affection, love, and loyalty of your partner, it’s the wrong relationship to be in. While growth should be part of your relationship, your partner shouldn’t expect you to change only for the sake of their whims or their own preference. Be free to still be yourself even if you’re sharing your life with someone. [Read: How to recognize and end toxic relationships]
#4 When you have to convince yourself. When you wake up every day trying to plaster a smile on your face and convince yourself you’re in an awesome relationship. Or that your partner is great. You’re only fooling yourself. You don’t have to work so hard to convince yourself you’re in a right relationship with the right person.
In fact, being in a healthy relationship should be effortless and without proving anything to yourself or to anyone else.
#5 When there’s unresolved conflict and resentment. Maybe you are not fighting right, communicating positively, or dealing with things in your relationship in a constructive and mature manner. As a result, conflict ensues often. Even these skirmishes don’t get resolved the way they need to be.
Look to see if the issues ticking either of you off just keep happening without any resolution or reconciliation. As a result, your wounds scar over and over each other, and deep underneath the surface resentment just builds up.
#6 When it’s going nowhere. When a relationship stagnates, it’s bound for rock bottom. If you keep fighting the same issues even after you already addressed it, then something’s got to give. If you feel like your relationship is stuck, admit the relationship is not working out. It’s time to give up.
#7 When you’re going nowhere. A healthy, positive relationship allows you both to grow in many ways as individuals. However, if you feel stuck with the short end of the stick and feel stifled, consider your role in the relationship. You have to be free not only to be yourself but to live and grow as you please. The way you know is best for you. [Read: How to fall out of love when you see no future]
#8 When you fight more than you talk. Disagreements and arguments are unavoidable in relationships. In fact, consider these as stumbling blocks allowing you to come out stronger and better as a couple. However, there’s a good way to fight and there’s an awful way.
Now, if you notice you and your partner always start the smallest of small talks slinging mud at each other, something’s definitely amiss. A healthy relationship needs proper and positive communication in order to thrive and last. If you’re not doing this, then goodbye.
#9 When you’re just so different. They say opposites attract . . . But for a relationship to work, it’s crucial you both share even some semblance of similarity in your values, beliefs, and priorities. It doesn’t matter if you have different political views or religions. All these can be worked out as long as your core values remain the same. [Read: Do opposite attract or do they push each other away?]
#10 When you’re not on the same page emotionally. Maybe you are more committed in the relationship than your partner or the other way around. Do you want something more out of the relationship than your partner is prepared to give? Whatever it is, if you’re not on the same page emotionally, then you are just grasping at straws in your relationship.
Staying with your partner, expecting things to get better or be different or for your partner to finally want to move to the next level doesn’t work. You end up disappointed. And your partner probably remains incapable of giving you what you want. You’re better off just ending things.
#11 When you couldn’t care less. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. If you’ve been with your partner for quite a while and you find yourself apathetic to them, then there’s really no point being together. If it’s your partner who is inconsiderate or selfish or just not interested whether you’re still breathing, there’s just no point. End it and move on. [Read: 10 clear signs you’re growing apart and don’t realize it]
#12 When you’re losing your self-respect. A relationship needs a foundation not only of love but also respect. Aside from respecting each other, both of you should also have a healthy amount of self-respect. And no caring or loving partner ever lets you stoop down or lose your self-respect just for the sake of the relationship. That clearly becomes one-sided. Trust us, keep whatever self-respect you have left and just get out.
#13 When there’s no sex. Sex is, and will always be, a crucial part of a romantic relationship. It doesn’t matter if you’re not really going at it like bunnies, but if you are not sexually attracted to your partner anymore, then there’s something amiss. Either you both put in more effort to reignite the spark or just throw in the towel. The relationship ends up in flames. If you or your partner cheats because of this, then one of you will just end up burned.
#14 When your future doesn’t have your partner in it. As a couple in a serious relationship, you make plans together. You should even be excited for the future instead of scared. If either of you are not including the other in your long-term, or even short-term, plans, you have to ask what kind of relationship you’re in.
Holding on to a relationship that is over does you and your partner a huge injustice. Don’t stay in a relationship where you don’t feel alive nor have a desire to live. It’s better for both of you to know when to give up on a relationship, so you move on to better places with a new chance at love and happiness.
Remember, letting go may just be the best thing that happened to both of you. Sometimes, to give up on a relationship is not a sign of failure nor is it the end. You’re actually allowing yourself to begin again, this time with a fresh perspective and a new hope.
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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...