Though some people can flirt effortlessly, many of us struggle with the idea of flirting with someone else, let alone figure out the different types of flirting and what works for us.
Flirting is a significant part of dating as without it, how else can you let someone know you like them subtly? Without flirting of any kind, you’d have trouble seeing if someone is actually interested in you, which can cause some awkwardness when it comes to knowing what to do.
But then again, at the same time, not everyone shows the same signs when they’re interested in someone. With the different types of flirting, you can better understand when someone is showing it and how you can spot the signs.
That’s right; we’re all different. On the one hand, this makes it even more complicated. But on the other hand, now you know that there are five different styles of flirting.
Even when it comes to yourself, you might be surprised about the flirting style you have.
[Read: How to flirt with your crush – 15 subtle cues to make them fall hard]
You see, none of us use the same flirting style. You might think there’s just one flirting style, but there are several. This is because each person has a different personality.
For instance, you might be flirting the traditional way most of the time, and you’re not even aware of it. Whereas the people you often go on dates with may indulge in playful flirting with you.
When someone claims they don’t know how to flirt, most often than not, they just haven’t realized which type of flirting they’re doing. Maybe they’ve been flirting all this time – they’re not just not aware they’re doing it.
[Read: How to subtly flirt with a girl – The art of subtle seduction]
Here’s the thing, when it comes to attraction and interest, everyone has their own style and needs. Not everyone flirts in the same way, and this is why people struggle with figuring out if someone is interested in them or not. So, if you struggle with flirting, it’s not necessarily your fault.
Think of it this way, maybe your flirting skills depend entirely on the types of flirting you resonate with the most. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to flirting, no matter how similar they might seem to you.
We’re all unique, so not everyone will try to flirt the same way with the person they’re attracted to. [Read: How to talk to your crush – The secrets to make them fall for you]
While we may not know when people are flirting with us, the one thing we do know is when someone isn’t interested. Usually, the problem comes with us being willing to accept the truth that this person isn’t into us and share the same feelings we have for them.
It’s easier to spot the signs of someone that doesn’t like you than someone who does. [Read: 13 painful and soul-crushing signs your crush doesn’t like you back]
When it comes to types of flirting styles, science has even backed up this claim. A few years ago, a study from the University of Kansas discovered there are five different styles of flirting, showing there’s no right way to flirt or show romantic interest.
Generally speaking, this means that there isn’t a right or wrong way to flirt. No matter which one of the types of flirting you resonate with the most, it’s not right or wrong in any way. Even something as withdrawn and conservative as traditional flirting isn’t wrong if it works for the person.
Once you understand what the five styles are, it’ll be much easier to understand the people you interact with. Knowing how to read these signs will help you out and also help you understand yourself better. Why do you flirt the way that you do? What style do you fit in? It’s time to find out!
Yes, there are more ways than one.
[Read: 15 very obvious signs of flirting between a guy and a girl]
This is considered to be old-school flirting. You know, where men make the first move and women take a passive role in the encounter.
This can be a struggle for women as they need to wait for the man to make a move, which doesn’t always happen quickly. From the word itself, it’s one of the types of flirting that can be quite conservative and withdrawn.
If you generally take a while before taking action with someone you like, you might just be a traditional flirt. Watch out for signs of traditional flirting such as initiating deep conversations, getting bored with small talk, being introverted, and taking longer to make a move.
If you’re a woman and you resonate with this type of flirting, it can feel impatient waiting for men to make the first move. [Read: Easy dating advice for introverts and 19 tips and tricks to flirt]
For people who are playful flirts, they use their type of flirting as a tool. They love spending their time innocently flirting with people without the desire for a serious relationship. You see this most often in parties, bars, and casual settings where it’s normal to flirt around without the intention of a relationship.
This is one of the types of flirting that is very light and fun *for them, anyway*. Some of the signs you should watch out for are teasing people, using charm and games to develop sexual tension, and light and casual conversations.
Playful flirting is a very popular type of flirting, and it’s evident in movies where one or both parties start off with a casual talk. [Read: How to be more playful and flirty when you meet someone]
From the name itself, this is the type of flirting that’s all about physical touch. If you’re someone who flirts by touching someone and breaking the touch barrier with them, then this is your personal form of flirting.
Whether it’s rubbing against you, leaning into you, and touching you in every subtle or obvious way, this is how someone with this type of flirting shows they’re into you. Physical flirts can build connections with ease and are quick to pick up on signs of interest from others.
When you’re around a physical flirt, you may even feel slightly uncomfortable. The signs of physical flirting are very easy to spot as it has everything to do with physical touch.
Physical flirts will use touch and act rather suggestively. When around them, they come off as very confident and self-assured. [Read: When a guy touches you – The different body parts and what they mean]
This is actually the most common type of flirting and to be honest; it’s not a bad thing. Sincere flirting is all about being direct and honest with how you feel about someone. The goal is to build an emotional connection by getting to know the person you’re interested in.
It’s similar to traditional flirting in a way that focuses on emotional connections, but it’s not conservative at all. Maybe you’ll ask them what book they’re reading or what music they like. This type of flirting can feel like friendship as well to begin with.
One of the signs of sincere flirting is asking you many questions to connect with you deeper. You might want to enjoy the conversation in a focused environment like a coffee or bookstore. Frankly, this is also one of the most genuine and straightforward types of flirting. It’s impossible to miss the signs with sincere flirting. [Read: How to emotionally connect with someone and feel really close in no time]
This is possibly the hardest type of flirting to pinpoint because this person is flirting politely. With a polite flirt, it’s easy to misread their flirting as they’re very subtle and follow the rules. It can seem very stiff to others who don’t share this type of flirting, but it’s a very well-mannered way to show your attraction.
They won’t flirt using touch; instead, they’ll always give you enough personal space and will subtly compliment you. It’s a tough one to spot out!
It can seem very shy and sometimes, you may not even be sure if they’re just being nice, or actually flirting with you! [Read: The subtlest flirting moves to bring them close without much effort]
We know what you’re probably thinking – is it possible to resonate with two of the types mentioned above? Yes, you can!
We’re human, which means we’re complex. Sigh. So, you can find yourself in a couple of these categories and using multiple types of flirting simultaneously, which is perfectly normal.
Not everyone fits into a single box, and that’s okay. Maybe you resonate with genuine flirting and traditional flirting at the same time – that’s fine! It doesn’t make you weird or unusual; it makes you human! [Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]
Learning more about your flirting type can benefit you in landing dates and flirting with the person you like. In fact, you don’t even need to look for something serious to be applying this, especially if you’re a playful flirt. Or, maybe there’s this girl or guy you like, and you find out which type of flirting they’re using with you.
Maybe you also found out you share the same flirting style. Now, you can use this new knowledge and flirt with them better, using the style you’re most comfortable with. This helps you be more comfortable flirting with someone you like without feeling too awkward about yourself.
[Read: How to flirt with girls: 25 secrets to help you win her over]
There are five types of flirting – traditional, playful, physical, sincere, and polite.
Each one has characteristics that make it different from the other types of flirting.
And now that you know the different types, and the ones you feel comfortable using, try to focus more on them. That way, you can actually build your own flirting style within your comfort zone. And the next time you’re flirting with someone, you don’t need to do something you’re not comfortable doing. All you need to do is be yourself, and drop a few well-placed hints!
[Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease them without being weird]
Now that you know the five types of flirting, which style(s) do you see yourself in? Why not give these a try the next time you flirt with someone? You never know, this could land you on a date – or something more!
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