Learning how to flirt with a girl over text and in person really isn’t as hard as you may imagine it to be. Be yourself and follow our tips on how to flirt with girls the right way!
You’ve got a massive crush on a hot girl, and you really want to let her know that you like her. But you don’t know where to start. Luckily, you can learn how to flirt with girls without having to go back to school!
Knowing how to flirt with a woman is all about maintaining sexual tension. However, while flirting might come naturally to some people, to others, it can feel nerve-racking.
If just the idea of trying to flirt with girls gets your palms all sweaty, you can relax. Say goodbye to stuttering and stumbling over your words; once you learn how to flirt with girls, your confidence will shine through and you’ll be golden! [Read: 31 secrets to get a girl to like you and desire you without even asking her out]
Why is flirting so important?
Flirting is what establishes a connection between you and someone you really like. It is like small talk but with a bit of a romantic undertone. Flirting has a level of attraction buried within, but can really be any sort of talking between two people.
What makes it so useful is that it helps you calm your nerves. It gives the girl the idea that you’re attracted to her, and an opportunity for her to let you know she’s warming up to you as well.
Learning the best flirting tips helps you gain confidence when talking to anyone. It’s the best way to show a girl how good you are at listening, how funny you are, if you’re a gentleman, and a lot more! [Read: How girls flirt – 22 signs she’s flirting and not just being nice]
How to flirt with women in the most subtle and successful way
You can learn about ways to flirt, and practice until you feel super confident and ready to approach the girl you like. Here’s a guide on how to flirt with a woman, and subtly seduce her with your words and behavior.
1. Read the room before you flirt
Potentially, if the signs are right, you can attempt flirting anywhere or any time. However, there are usually occasions when it really is better just to desist. An extreme example of this would be at a funeral.
Being a charmer rather than a creep has a lot to do with only approaching a woman who wants to be approached, in an environment and manner that is absolutely non-threatening. Get that wrong and the creep label is all yours for the taking. [Read: 10 kinds of guys girls label as creeps in no time]
2. Smile
When learning how to flirt with a woman, smiling at her is a great place to start. It goes a long way, especially if you are feeling nervous.
This simple but powerful flirting technique breaks the ice, as a smiling face helps make her realize she caught your eye. Make sure that you maintain eye contact when you catch her eye and don’t be the first to look away. Smile at her confidently. Remember, confidence is key here.
If she smiles back, you can look away and then, in a few minutes, look at her and smile at her again. This will let her know you are romantically interested. [Read: How to approach a girl you don’t know and impress her]
3. Use your body language
Make sure you pay attention to your body language when you are talking to her. It is so easy to look uninterested if you’re nervous about clamming up or saying the wrong thing.
Crossing your arms, looking at your feet, turning away from her, and so on make it seem like you’re not comfortable around her. Those are all no-nos.
Be open and use lots of eye contact – hold her gaze! Use your body to show that you’re interested in a girl you’re trying to flirt with. [Read: Body language of a girl – 37 signs to instantly tell if she’s interested in you]
4. Touch her
Another easy way to show you’re interested is through physical touch: a brush of the hand, or letting your leg gently touch hers when you sit together. If she likes you too, she won’t move away.
But remember, any more touching than this, especially in the first few conversations, will have the opposite effect. Touching her hair, her lower back, or anything else is inappropriate and can be sexual harassment.
You may just think you’re being touchy-feely, but touching without consent is never okay. [Read: How to subtly touch a girl, subtly turn her on and make her want more]
5. Make her laugh
A good sense of humor is the number one thing that most women cite when asked what they are looking for in a guy, so this is a must when learning how to flirt with girls.
If you can make her laugh, she’ll instantly feel more relaxed in front of you and attracted to you too. That’s one of the biggest tips when learning how to flirt with a woman. [Read: How to be a funny guy – 28 must-know tips to make all girls love your humor]
6. Let her borrow your clothes
She’ll love wearing that big cozy jumper of yours, so always offer it to her if it’s a little cold. Make sure it smells of your cologne too. A guy who smells good goes up a few points on the attractiveness scale.
Giving her something to remember you by is one of the best ways to learn how to flirt with a woman.
7. Compliment her
People love compliments. They are always one of the best tips for learning how to flirt with a woman, so whenever you see your crush in person, make sure you let her know that you think she is attractive.
If you don’t want to be too forward, something simple such as ‘you look nice today or ‘I really like your shoes’ will let her know you find her attractive and that you’re interested without saying anything too direct or sexual. [Read: How to compliment a girl – 15 must-know tips and 35 of the sweetest lines]
8. Be nice to her friends
Always, always make time for her friends. If she can see that you are making an effort with her friends, she may view this as a signal that you really like her and are willing to put the time in.
If she is on the fence about you, she’ll ask her friends for advice, so it’s an excellent idea to have them on your side at all times! When learning how to flirt with a woman, these small things make all the difference.
9. Ask her thoughtful questions
If you really want to know how to flirt with a girl, you need to show that you are interested in her by asking lots of questions. Don’t interrogate her, but find a balance; you want to show you’re interested, but not a stalker.
She’ll appreciate you taking the time and making an effort to get to know her better. [Read: 20 funny questions to ask a girl and leave her ROFL]
10. Get to know her family
Getting to know about her family is another way of showing that you’re romantically interested in her and are willing to put time and effort into finding out about her.
If you just met, ask about her siblings or what it was like growing up with an older brother or sister. If you know each other better than that, talk to her family when they’re around.
11. Do her a favor
Flirting comes in many different forms, and an act of kindness, e.g. a massive favor, shows that you are into her and are willing to do things to win her affection.
Grab her some extra napkins, walk her to her car, or offer her a ride. Things this small can make a big impact. [Read: What is chivalry? The knight’s code, the real meaning and modern men]
12. Buy her a drink
Sometimes simple is best. If you want to keep things casual and simply start a conversation with her, just ask her if she’d like a drink and take it from there.
This can be coffee too. Or, why not make it even more interesting and buy her a side of fries – that’ll give you a good excuse to share food with her.
13. Buy her a gift
A cute and thoughtful gift can be a great tip for how to flirt with a woman.
Keep it funny and silly or related to a conversation you’ve had to make it light and flirty – don’t buy her something too serious or expensive early on, as it might scare her off. [Read: How to show a girl you like her – 19 subtle moves to win her over]
14. Be interested in her interests
Get to know what she loves to do in her free time, her hobbies, interests, and what she’s passionate about. Then you’ll not only have lots to talk about, but you might get into some of her interests too.
15. Text her
Text conversations are a great way to flirt without coming on too strong. If you’re shy, your go-to could be to flirt over text with a girl. It can be so much easier than starting a conversation face-to-face.
Send her a funny but flirty text, and if she responds in kind, you can ramp up the flirting even more. [Read: 44 tips and examples to tease a girl over text and leave her smiling]
16. Tease her
Gently teasing a girl is a great way to start flirting with her. Everyone knows that little boys in the playground pull the pigtails of the little girls they have a crush on – so by mocking her gently, you are actually letting her know that you like her! Strange but true!
Just keep it simple. Tease her about the time it takes her to get ready or her weird taste in drinks. [Read: 22 naughty ways to tease a girl and make her think of you fondly]
17. Let her flirt
Sometimes the best way to flirt with a girl is to let her be in control. Follow her lead. Let her take things at her own pace.
If she is interested, she will make it clear. This can also take away some of your nerves.
18. Don’t use pick-up lines
Pick-up lines are cheesy and don’t really help you form a connection. But if you use one as a joke, it can be a great thing to bond over. Try sharing the worst line you’ve ever heard, and then ask her what’s the worst she’s heard.
Just don’t rely on a pickup line to do much good for your flirting abilities. [Read: 30 foolproof pick-up lines and 10 you should never use]
19. Consider why you like her
Why are you interested in her? Focus on that. Don’t put her on a pedestal, she is just a person, like you. [Read: 22 ways to get your crush to like you and fall hard for you as well]
20. Find out if she is available
Flirting is all well and good, but if you get your hopes up and then find out she isn’t available it can be quite a bummer. You might want to know if you’re unknowingly flirting with a taken woman early on.
While subtly flirting, find out if she is single. Saying something like “your boyfriend is one lucky guy” or even asking her about how her dating life is going is enough to get the information you need. [Read: 22 signs to tell if a girl has a boyfriend without asking her directly]
21. Keep topics light
Try not to get into deep conversation topics right off the bat. Sure, it is great to connect over important topics, but flirting doesn’t have to be about serious talks.
It is about creating banter and feeding off each other. [Read: 75 flirty questions to ask your crush and make them think of you]
22. Be open
Be willing to answer questions. Flirting is about the back and forth. Learning how to flirt with girls is about being open and honest.
23. Discover what you have in common
Talk about movies, books, and TV. These things are universal and you will connect over something whether it is a series or an actor. This helps you find a neutral topic to discuss, banter about, or just get excited about. [Read: What does being compatible in a relationship really mean?]
24. Talk about your pets
Everyone loves their animals and honestly, anyone with a pet could talk about them all day. This is a safe place to go when flirting.
Are you more of a dog person but she has a cat? Let her convince you why cats are just as great.
25. Ask her out
Instead of depending on the subtlety of your flirting skills to get her to ask you out, ask her out. It will let the person know that you want to spend more time with her. Just go for it.
The worst that happens is you get a no. And then what? You move on to greener pastures. [Read: How to ask a girl to hang out casually without making it a big deal]
26. Back off if she isn’t into it
If you’re flirting with a girl and she clearly isn’t into it, don’t convince her, beg her, or be weird about it. Whether she says she has a boyfriend or just is trying to avoid you, do not push.
She isn’t playing hard to get. The worst thing you can do when learning how to flirt with a girl is to push too hard.
27. Always be respectful
This is the right way not just to flirt but also to talk to a woman in any and all settings. When you are showing your interest in a woman, respect is her number one priority.
Respect her as a person, not just as a woman. Give her respect if she turns her back to you, and respect if she hesitates, or doesn’t smile right away. [Read: We’re so glad you want to know how to respect women]
28. Give her personal space
Having a strange man approach you is a bit unnerving. So take it easy. You may want to make it crystal clear what you’re interested in, but do not touch her without her consent; it’s something she’s not going to appreciate.
You can stand near her or sit next to her, but unless it is insanely loud wherever you are do not whisper in her ear, lean in close to her, or put your arm around her. You don’t want her to feel extremely uncomfortable. [Read: Male privilege – What it is and what it looks like in real life]
29. Look her in the eyes
Flirting, whether for casual purposes or with the intent of a date, requires a connection. Whether that connection is physical attraction, chemistry, or a shared sense of humor, making eye contact is a must-have.
Flirting does not work well when you can’t see one another’s facial expressions and reactions.
30. Keep jokes at PG-13 level
If you know this girl quite well and know you won’t offend her, you can go all out. But if you are flirting with someone you do not know, keep the risqué jokes to a minimum. And by minimum, we mean don’t tell any. [Read: 15 types of humor and how it affects relationships]
31. Be a gentleman
Take a tip or two from back in the day. Open the door, pull out her chair, offer to help her with her coat. These things may seem cheesy, but a woman will appreciate these small gestures.
You can make edgy jokes and tease one another while still maintaining the characteristics of a true gentleman, be it through text or in person. That’s how to flirt with a woman the right way. [Read: The modern day gentleman’s guide to wooing a lady]
32. See her as an equal
When it comes to understanding how to flirt with a woman, always see her as an equal. This should come with respect and is part of being a decent person, but many men (some without even knowing it) see women as less than.
Society tells us this all the time, so it is no surprise.
Women know when you look down on them for any reason. It will instantly make her far less interested in you. [Read: Male privilege – What it is and what it looks like in real life]
33. Be truthful
Sure, we all boast a bit when flirting. You can brag that you graduated from a good college, but you might omit the fact that you were on academic probation. We get it, you want to put your best foot forward.
That is totally fine, as long as you tell the truth.
34. Be opinionated but open
If you are flirting with a woman and disagree with her, tell her. You do not need to get into an argument, but stay true to your opinions.
Be open to listening to her as she should be to you, but do not back-pedal on your position in order to please. [Read: Learn what a woman thinks are the umanly and manliest things a guy can do are]
35. Be a little mysterious
For women, it’s all about inference and imagination. She wants to figure you out for herself, without you telling her – from your behaviors, things you talk about, or how worldly you seem.
Be a bit mysterious and you’ll get her attention – she doesn’t want you to tell her every little thing about you. Show her who you are subliminally. [Read: How girls flirt – 15 signs she’s being way more than just nice]
36. Use an ‘x’ in a text
HER text: Hey what you up to?
YOUR text: Just chilling, u? x
The lowercase ‘x’… It’s another phenomenon that cannot and should not ever be underestimated. Think of an x as intimacy. From her end, it says that there is something special about your communication with her. You don’t just send anyone an x. [Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]
37. Show genuine interest in her
This one might sound like an obvious tip for how to flirt with a girl, and it should be. You think you’re acting cool, but If you constantly act as if you’re disinterested in a girl, she simply won’t think you’re interested at face value. So instead, show her that you’re interested in her romantically by showing interest in getting to know her better. [Read: How to make a girl like you without even asking her out]
38. Mix your questions up with statements
Too many questions can be annoying. No one wants to be interviewed for 5 hours. So, mix up your questions with statements, such as “I think you’re a bit of a badass chick,” or “you’re a dog lover, I can tell.”
Also, remember to change your statements to things about you, your opinions, and your surroundings. [Read: How to compliment a girl – 15 must-know tips and 35 of the best lines]
39. Make her feel special
All girls like feeling special. Many women have low self-esteem, so when a guy makes her feel like she is amazing, then she will definitely feel good not only about herself but about you too.
So, you can say things to her like “I think you’re amazing” or “I have never met a girl like you in my life!” or “I’m so happy we met – you make my life so much better!” Saying these things will subtly let her know that you have a lot of interest in her, and she’ll probably remember what you said for the rest of her life.
40. Stay connected over text and social media
In this day and age, it seems that almost everyone is on social media. So, that’s why it’s more important to stay connected to her that way.
Keep up regular communication with her. Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to text her 24/7 *because that would just annoy her*, but check in with her often. This will let her know you’re thinking about her a lot. [Read: 33 Secret steps to text a girl you like and make her miss and desire you]
41. Remember little details about her
When you talk to her, pay special attention to what she tells you about herself and her life. Try to remember everything you can. Little things – from her favorite coffee order to the nickname she has as a kid – are important to her. She will be impressed when you remember.
42. Share memes
Everyone likes memes, right? They can be really funny, or they can be really deep, meaningful, and insightful. Either way, it’s an easy way to keep in touch with a girl and flirt without coming on too strong whenever you send a text. [Read: How not to be dry when texting a girl – 20 ways to keep her hooked]
43. Don’t make assumptions
Get this straight: on the whole, women dress for themselves, NOT for men. Wearing a short skirt or red lipstick is a fashion choice and no more than that. The person flirting should not assume that a woman is up for a bit of hanky-panky on the basis of her dress sense alone, as puts them firmly in the creepy territory – if not beyond.
44. Be natural, don’t be someone you’re not
Rehearsed moves, an adopted swagger, cheesy one-liners, etc., are all things that should be consigned to the 1970s. We live in a different world nowadays.
Be yourself, react naturally and honestly, and resist the urge to be anything that you are not. Adopted personas are obvious, juvenile and downright creepy. [Read: How to be yourself – 26 steps to unfake your life and love being you]
45. Listen to her
Your ears are the best weapons you have in your flirting armory, after your ability to interpret body language. When learning how to flirt in person, listen carefully to what she has to say – not just the content, but the manner in which she delivers it. [Read: 25 qualities in a guy that makes him attractive to a girl]
The wrong way to flirt with a girl
Of course, learning how to flirt with girls in person and through text is as much about knowing what not to do, as what you should do.
1. Don’t be cocky
For someone hesitant to flirt with women, it may seem like being cocky is the answer to your worries. But women don’t really like that. In fact, they often despise the type of man that walks in like he owns the place.
Yes, confidence is sexy, but acting as if you are better than her, the bartender, or the janitor is not. [Read: Confident or cocky? 16 subtle signs that split an arrogant and modest man]
2. Don’t get offended if she turns you down
If she rejects you off the bat, move on. If you think she got the wrong idea and want to give it one more go, okay. But if the girl isn’t interested, do not take offense.
And if you respect her, any other woman you may flirt with throughout the night will appreciate that.
3. Don’t get too close
We’ve mentioned this already but it’s worth reiterating. While flirting, a subtle arm rub is one thing, but some women do not want to be touched like that by people they know – let alone by a stranger.
Keep a friendly distance. If you wouldn’t do it in the office, don’t do it anywhere else. [Read: How to know when to give someone space]
Men often think that making a joke about the #MeToo movement or the wage-gap makes them funny and relevant. But, all making jokes about these things does is make you look like a sexist prick.
Even if she laughs, it is to hide her discomfort. [Read: Inspiring male feminist ideas from around the world]
5. Never assume she wants your attention
This may be a shock to you, but women do not go to bars, parties, or anywhere with the sole intent of meeting a man. And even if she did, she still has the right to decline your advances if she’s not interested.
6. Don’t be intense
Intensity is a single man’s worst enemy when it comes to understanding how to flirt with a woman. No one wants to hear about your third cousin’s foot surgery while flirting. Keep it light.
7. Don’t move too fast
Same as being too intense, rushing to ask her out can be intimidating and weird. You want to form some sort of connection first, even if that is just your shared interest in archery or comic books. [Read: Rushing into a relationship? Why you need to learn to slow down]
8. Quit belittling yourself
Self-deprecating humor has its place, sure. But talking yourself down is not something women are attracted to. Women do not want to be propping up your ego or telling you that you are worthy.
9. You’re not superior
People play a part or joke around when flirting, but often that is short lived. You share a few lines, laugh, and then introduce yourselves.
Do not let the humor seep into the more real conversation. Acting like you are better than her for any reason is the wrong way to talk to anyone. [Read: These are the steps to take to be a girl’s Prince Charming]
How to flirt with girls in a sexual way
Now that you know in general how to flirt with a girl and she’s flirting back, let’s talk about some more sexual ways to do this. After all, flirting starts slow and builds up until both of you find each other irresistible!
So if you want to build emotional and sexual tension with a girl, a few perfectly timed lines are just the trick you need to make her blush, and think of you in a naughty way! [Read: 20 sexy ways to build sexual tension with a girl and make her thirst for you]
1. Even though I can’t see you right now, I know you’re looking hot.
2. I would walk a hundred miles just to touch you right now.
3. You look so sexy in that photo… I needed some time alone just to be able to think again! [Read: 36 racy, random, funny questions for flirty guys and girls]
4. You’re in my thoughts at 2:00 a.m.
5. Don’t work too hard because I want you to have some energy for me later!
6. I was just listening to this really sexy song, and for some reason, it reminded me of you…
7. Do you want to come over? There is some extra room in my bed to watch a movie.
8. I can still smell your scent on me, and I don’t ever want to shower again. [Read: 53 flirty things to say to a girl to compliment her and make her blush]
9. Send me your picture so I can send it to Santa for my wish list.
10. I really want to kiss you right now.
11. The next time you see your parents, thank them from me for bringing you into this world.
12. I can’t stop thinking about you!
13. I just bought some hot fudge… any idea what we should do with it?
14. Whenever I close my eyes, I see you. [Read: 39 flirty signs to tell if a girl is into you and interested in dating you]
15. I have to admit, you’re on my mind way too much.
16. You said you wanted kids someday, right? Well, do you want to practice soon?
17. You looked so hot the last time I saw you.
18. Every time you enter a room, you’re the hottest woman there.
19. I’m lying in bed and I’m bored. Want to play Simon Says?
20. Hey, you look a lot like my next girlfriend! [Read: 25 subtle, flirty signs she wants you to make a move and ask her out]
21. I wish I was your teddy bear.
22. I just got out of the shower. How about coming over and helping me get sweaty again?
23. Are you free for the rest of your life?
24. I can’t get up the courage to tell you how much I want you, so I guess I’ll keep it to myself.
25. You are soooo addictive! [Read: How to tease a girl over text and 15 ways to get her to flirt back]
26. You’re a goddess and every guy prays for a girl like you.
27. My dream is to wake up next to you every morning.
28. You’re so hot that you’re driving me crazy.
29. You are haunting me – you’re always in my thoughts.
30. Do you want to know a secret? [Read: Is she flirting with me or not? 17 quickest signs to read her mind]
31. Taking care of my heart has been difficult these days because I’m so busy. Can you do it for me?
32. I’ve got some flowers for you.
33. I can’t stop checking my phone to see if you called.
34. You look like my next adventure.
35. You inspire my naughty thoughts.
36. Can you share your secrets for being so hot? [Read: 15 flirting signs to instantly know if someone is flirting with you]
37. How do you manage to be so hot?
38. I like you a lot. More than a lot.
39. You’re on top of my to-do list.
40. You need some testosterone in your body. Can I help you out?
41. Stop being so hot. You’re driving me crazy! [Read: How to get a girl to have sex with you by arousing her very subtly]
Remember, flirting should be subtle, but leave no room for doubt
When learning how to flirt with a woman, you need to master the art of merging subtleness and obviousness. Now, that might sound like a total contradiction, but that’s exactly what flirting is.
Eye contact, smiling, small consensual touches, flirty remarks, these are all ways to build up that connection and hopefully move toward something a little deeper.
[Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]
Now that you know how to flirt with girls, what are you waiting for? Get out there, and get flirting! Good luck!
