Can a Girl Ask a Guy Out Before He Asks Her Out?

You have probably been wondering, can a girl ask a guy out? It’s a complicated question, and we have some important things you should think about first.

can a girl ask a guy out

If you’re wondering whether a girl can ask a guy out, of course, she can. But there are a few things to remember before you take the plunge.

It’s natural to like a guy. And it’s natural to want to ask a guy out. And it’s easy.

But you shouldn’t do it unless you have no other alternative.

[Read: How guys fall in love and the 7 seven stages of love for men]

Most guys say they’re completely fine with it when a girl asks a guy out. Some guys even say they prefer it because it takes the pressure off of asking a girl out.

But ask us, and we’ll tell you the answer. You shouldn’t generally do it. Now we’re not being uptight or prejudiced about the male species and their ways. But that’s just the way stolen glances and love works.

Guys and girls are different in many ways. And especially when it comes to a relationship, great guys like a good chase. [Read: Why guys like a chase and how to make it work for you]

When you tell a guy you like him, it’s not really disappointing, but a guy would never understand how special you are. Nor would he understand how much he needs you until he doesn’t have you.

It’s too easy, like a free brochure that you get in your mailbox now and then. It goes straight to the bin. [Read: How to make him want you – 20 secrets to leave a guy smitten silly]

Can a girl ask a guy out?

If you like a guy, and want him to stick around, you need to make him like you back and desire you before you even ask him out. It’s quite pointless to walk up to a guy and tell him you like him. And the conversation’s going to sound like this.

Girl (nervous): Hi, I like you, and I was just wondering if we could go out sometime…

Boy (sheepish): Ohh, oh…kay… sweet! I would love to go out with you!!

Girl (relieved): How about we go out sometime then?

Boy (happy): Yeah, sure, how about Friday night?

And then, the girl’s happy and the boy’s happy too. And the boy goes to his friends. He learns to brag. [Read: How to ask a guy out like a classy girl and leave him wanting more]

Boy (boastful): Hey, check this out. That girl we keep bumping into, you know, the girl with the awesome boobs, she just asked me out.

Friends (in awe): Oh, yeah?! That’s hot, dude… so what are you gonna do? Lay her this weekend?

Boy (chick magnet): Ha ha ha ha… we’ll find out, won’t we…?

The boy scores, looks good in front of his friends, gets a date and a swollen ego, and thinks he’s a chick magnet. The girl may be very sweet, but he doesn’t care.

What guys think when a girl asks them out

Right now, in his mind, all he cares about is the fact that a great girl asked him out. So, he must be charming, sexy, and could get any other girl he wanted. He takes a good long look in the mirror, and realizes he really is a great guy – he’s desirable and chicks dig him!

If you really think about it, a guy isn’t chuffed because he gets to date a great girl. He’s very pleased with himself because a great girl asked him out, out of the blue. Just for a moment there, his priorities are all mixed up, and he’s valuing himself instead of valuing a potential relationship with a great girl.

All the other guys soon find out the girl asked the guy out. The girl appears needy and easy to get. The guy looks like a rock star, and now he’s alpha. [Read: Sexual market value and the 5 factors that boost a man’s SMV]

You see, it’s easy to ask a guy out. But when you do that, almost all guys lose the point. He won’t realize that a great girl asked him out, he’ll assume he’s really good and all girls will love him.

Why a girl should ask a guy out instead of waiting for him

Now, yes, so far, the idea behind waiting for a guy to do the asking out sounds very old school. But we’d like to clarify that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out. In fact, it could very well work on your favor.

But just remember to take a step back and allow him to woo you AFTER you’ve asked him out. That makes all the difference.

And honestly, there are some advantages to asking a guy out. So, let’s start by discussing some of them before we talk more about why and how you should wait for a guy to make a move first. [Read: How to ask a guy out over text – 15 moves to get the answer you want]

1. It shows your confidence

Guys love self-confidence in girls. In fact, they find it absolutely sexy. So, when a girl asks a guy out, she seems like she is sure of herself. It shows that she is not afraid to take a chance.

Plus, she must think he is going to say yes, which shows that she thinks she is worthy of him. This is very attractive to guys.

2. Some guys are too shy to ask you out

Let’s face it – not all guys are outgoing or confident in themselves. In fact, a lot of human beings are shy and unsure.

So, maybe the guy really likes you, and you like him, but he’s just too shy or afraid of rejection to take the first step. If you want for him to do it, you might be waiting forever. So, when you ask him out, you take the pressure off of him, and he will appreciate it. [Read: How to get a shy guy to like you and ask you out]

3. He might be Mr. Right

You never know when you might meet the perfect guy for you. How else do you know if he is the one unless you ask him out?

The more people you go out with, the greater the chance that you will find “the one.” So, if you don’t ask him out, you might let Mr. Right just slip right through your fingertips.

Are you willing to live with that? [Read: How to ask a guy to hang out and make him want to even if you’re shy]

4. It’s a turn-on for guys

Going back to the fact that guys love confidence, it’s a big ego boost for guys when a girl asks them out. It makes them feel attractive and desired.

And of course, that is a turn on for anyone – especially guys. So, you will make him feel like a million dollars if a girl asks a guy out first.

5. It gives you control

There’s nothing worse than liking a guy and waiting around to see if he will ask you out. You might be talking to him for a long time. And you might even be doing a lot of flirting. But does that mean he wants to go out with you?

Ohhh…the agony of not knowing! Well, if you ask him out first, then you will be in control of the situation. No more waiting around for him to make the first move. It puts you in a power position.

6. It’s the 2020s!

Hey, this isn’t the 1800s or even the 1980s anymore. All of that is so last century! Over a hundred years ago, women didn’t even have the right to vote. And before that, they were literally the property of men – whether it was their father or their husband.

But now you don’t have to be submissive to men. You’re a modern woman in a modern world. So take advantage of it! [Read: Why don’t guys ask me out? 18 true reasons that may hold the answer]

7. You might regret not doing it

Do you want to be lying on your death bed thinking, “If only I had asked John out… maybe my life would have turned out differently!”

It’s not fun to live with “If onlys.” You want to take chances in life and never have regrets. As the saying goes, “No excuses, no regrets!” So, don’t be shy. Take a chance so you know in the future that you will not look back and wish you had asked him out.

8. No more over-analyzing

When you like someone, you are always thinking about every little detail. He said this… what does it mean? But he didn’t say that… what does it mean? He did this… what does it mean? You get the idea.

Overanalyzing everything can be exhausting because you are trying to figure out how he feels. But you won’t really know until you just ask him out.

9. You can move forward

With all the mystery, guesswork, and overanalyzing, it’s a lot of time that you have wrapped up in this guy. You are spinning your wheels wondering if he likes you.

So, if you ask him out, you will be able to move forward either way. If he says yes, you can start dating him. If he says no, then you have your answer and you can find someone else. [Read: Why won’t he ask me out? 27 reasons and how to get him to make a move]

Can a girl never ask a guy out? Why it’s better to tease instead of ask him out

Now that we’ve talked about all the good things of asking a guy out directly, you should realize that it does come with its own advantages – especially if a guy is pursued by several girls, or if he’s very shy. Now let’s talk about why a girl shouldn’t ask a guy out, and instead tease him into deisring her.

Of course, a girl can ask a guy out and the relationship may even go very far on the road of happy love. But in most cases, it doesn’t work in the girl’s favor.

Men love the idea of having women swooning over them. Why do you think James Bond is such a big player? For his well-cut suits?

While guys may feel relieved to cut straight to the chase, or in this case, even skip the chase completely, they won’t add the great girl into the equation. For a guy, that moment when you ask him out isn’t a chapter in the book of romance. It’s the first step towards realizing how sexy and desirable he is!

Guys make their own lives harder, but they like it just the way it is. Learn to play hard to get and guys, as much as they hate it, will love you for it. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy – 20 secrets to leave him completely desiring you]

Why you shouldn’t ask a guy out

You now know why we think it’s better to wait for a guy to do the asking out *of course, you still need to make him see that you really like him!* let’s talk about a few of the reasons why making him chase you and ask you out is a better option.

1. If he wanted to ask you out, he would have

Human nature says that men are the chasers and the pursuers. And women are the pursuees. That’s just how it’s been for most of human history.

So, if he hasn’t asked you out yet, maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to. Sure, you can make excuses for him. But when something is important to someone, they go after it. [Read: Why don’t guys ask me out? 18 reasons why they don’t desire you]

2. Maybe he’s taken

Let’s say that you don’t know this guy very well. Maybe you met him in class or at work. You think he’s cute, chit-chat here and there, and you both do a little flirting.

This might seem like a green light to ask him out, but maybe he has a girlfriend or is married. If he is, it would be quite embarrassing to ask him out without knowing for sure. So, you want to ask him first if he is taken so you don’t feel dumb. [Read: 15 obvious signs he has a girlfriend and is already taken]

3. He might reject you

Taking a chance like asking a guy out might not turn out the way you want it to. Even if you think that he really does like you because he has been flirting, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

A lot of guys flirt with anyone and everyone because they think it’s fun. So, unless you are mentally and emotionally prepared for rejection, maybe you shouldn’t ask this guy out. [Read: How to ask a guy to be your boyfriend without sounding needy]

4. You could look needy

Yes, it’s kind of a contradiction, isn’t it? Earlier in the feature, we said it would make you look confident. Well, it could. But you could also come across as needy too!

It all depends on how you do it. So, if you want to ask him out because you are afraid he won’t ask you out* because he may not like you*, then that is the vibe of neediness. You don’t want to come across as chasing him, because that’s a turn-off to guys. [Read: What turns guys on? 39 emotional and physical turn ons that arouse all guys in seconds]

Confident girls and guys who love them

Now many guys may disagree with everything we’ve said and claim that they love a confident woman who has the cojones to walk up to a guy and ask him out. But this isn’t always the case.

At the end of the day, let’s face it. All a girl has to do is drop a few signs and hints. And if a guy does like her back, he’ll probably pop the question even before the girl thinks it!

It’s safer, and an easier way to get to know if a guy likes you, sans the embarrassment of a guy turning you down.

So, can a girl ask a guy out ever? There’s just one type of guy where a girl asking a guy out is the only way forward. If you’ve fallen for a cute shy guy.

These shy guys are nice, but they’re just so shy and awkward, it’s embarrassing! You can walk past them with a marching band singing “she’s in love with you” and the guy might just sniffle and try to slip behind the wallpaper. [Read: How to get a shy guy to like you and ask you out]

Should a girl ask a guy out?

Now that you know the pros, cons, and how a guy’s mind works, this is something you need to figure out for yourself.

We would suggest you drop all the right hints, tease him, flirt with him, and even hang out with him first. Chances are, if he is even remotely interested in you, he will let you know that he likes you. [Read: 33 ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and hook him deep and hard]

On the other hand, if you’re flirting up a storm and he still seems disinterested, chances are, you’re probably in his friend zone and you need to make him see you as something more before you ask him out.

[Read: How to show a guy you like him and charm him while still being a tease]

What’s the verdict, can a girl ask a guy out? Yes, but you really have to weigh the pros and the cons before you do. And be prepared to accept whatever happens next!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...