How to Flirt with a Guy Subtly Without Really Flirting At All

Ever met a girl who can get any guy she likes? Want to be that girl? Read this guide on how to flirt with a guy subtly, without making it obvious to him.

How to Flirt with a Guy

Some girls have it. And some girls don’t. But is that really true? Can’t any girl master how to flirt with a guy subtly, and effectively? Well, now you can! Honestly, flirting with a guy is the easiest thing to do, if you really understand a guy’s mind.

What do you think flirting really is?

When you think of a girl flirting, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Touching a guy unnecessarily? Laughing at all his jokes? A high pitched voice? Sexual innuendos? Lots of back-and-forth banter? Public display of needless affection? Staring into each other’s eyes so deeply that it makes everyone around wanna throw up? [Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]

Okay, that IS flirting. But it’s flirting to the hilt, to the point that makes everyone around cringe, and want to scream “go get a room” at the couple!

While making it obvious that you want to chew on each other’s face is flirting, it’s exactly this kind of flirting that makes every girl want to avoid flirting – because the common portrayal of flirting is so over-the-top. And it’s also verbal dry humping, not flirting.

Honestly, the right kind of flirting is a lot more subtle, it’s discreet, and it’s the kind that makes someone fall hard for you without even knowing why they’re falling for you. Wanna know how to be that girl who can make guys fall for her by the end of a conversation? You can be that girl by the end of this article.

Understanding how men flirt

Let’s get to the basics here, how do men flirt? You need to understand a man’s mind before you try to seduce him with words, right? [Read: How men flirt – 15 subtle things guys do to impress girls]

Men, no matter what their age, love the idea of charming women. They may be smooth talkers or nervous wrecks when it comes to communicating with women, but they all love the idea of charming women.

If you really want to know how to flirt with a guy, you need to understand this fact that guys are always excited to flirt with a girl. But then again, guys aren’t going to flirt outrageously with every girl they meet. Flirting is scary business for a guy. They can’t risk making a flirty move at a girl, unless she gives them a sign.

After all, a wrong move by the guy and he could be called a pervert or a sleazy git who throws himself at women. So sometimes, all you really need to do is let a guy know that it’s okay to admire you *a.k.a. flirt with you*, and flirt he will! [Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested without appearing overeager]

The different ways you can flirt with a guy

If you’re talking to a guy and want to flirt with him, you’re at the right place. Just go on reading and you’ll know it all in no time.

If you’re interested in a guy, want to make eye contact with him from afar, and want him to approach you, use this guide – How to get a guy to talk to you – The shy girl’s guide

Or if you’re already texting the guy, it gets way easier! Just use this guide, and work your magic in no time – How to flirt with a guy over text – 25 examples that work like a charm

Wanna master the art of subtle flirting while talking to a guy without flirting at all? Read on!

How to flirt with a guy when you’re talking to him

Guys may think twice before trying to flirt with girls, but if you follow these steps on how to flirt with a guy, you’ll have guys warming up and flirting with you all the time, even if they’re with their own girlfriend!

And you do know this little secret, don’t you? Guys are drawn and attracted to a girl they can flirt with. So work your magic!

Remember, you don’t ever have to make the first move if you know these tips on flirting with a guy subtly. Just follow these steps as simple as they may seem, and by the end of it all, you can make any guy you like flirt with you without ever making the first move!

1. Smile, blush and be coy

Guys love a girl who’s happy and full of positivity. And guys especially love a girl who smiles and laughs when she’s having a conversation with them. Don’t be arrogant or rude to the guy you’re talking with, or to people around. Guys stay away from girls who behave this way, even if they’re attractive looking.

Be warm and approachable when you’re talking to a guy. Smile a lot and blush when he compliments you, and we assure you his heart will skip a beat!

And better yet, ask him all the right questions that’ll make him laugh out loud, and feel more relaxed. Do that, and he’ll want to stick around and talk to you forever. [Read: 15 fun questions to ask a guy to make him laugh and want you around]

2. Compliment him and thank him

Guys love compliments, and compliments are one of the stepping stones of a happy flirty conversation. If you like something about a guy, make sure you compliment him for that. He would love the fact that you noticed something nice about him, and furthermore, he’d go out of his way to have a flirty conversation with you.

And likewise, if he’s being rather courteous or chivalrous, thank him with a warm smile. [Read: 25 unique compliments for guys they’ll never ever forget]

When you acknowledge a guy’s chivalry or gestures positively, he’ll try harder to please you. And along the way, he’ll be warmer and will flirt more, just to win your attention. [Read: The damsel in distress and why men find them irresistible]

3. Stare into his eyes

One of the secrets to know how to flirt with a guy subtly is to really feel, and believe you’re enjoying the conversation with him *you like him, so chances are, you ARE enjoying the conversation already!*.

Focus on the guy completely as you talk to him. And when you’re having a conversation with him, look into his eyes deeply and smile now and then as he’s talking to you. It may confuse him or make him feel awkward, but a deep eye contact and a happy smile will make him wanna lose himself in your eyes too. You didn’t think subtle flirting was this easy, did you?!

4. Bring the focus on your lips

Lick your lips, suck on a straw, look away and run a finger across your lower lip as you contemplate over something he said, bite something, apply chapstick, do anything that brings the focus to your lips. Subtly, of course!

You may catch him staring at your lips, but don’t get too flattered just yet. There are some girls who feel so thrilled that their flirting moves are working, they start gloating about it either by laughing at the guy’s face or getting carried away. Don’t be that girl, seriously! It’s a huge turn off. Focus on subtlety, and just play along nonchalantly as he falls for you. [Read: Lip-biting and the scientific explanation behind why it’s so sexy]

5. The triangular eye contact

Now this works, and how! Have you ever realized when you’re talking to anyone, you usually only stare at one eye and not both eyes at once? Okay, now that you’ve got that premise, let’s go on.

When you’re talking to a guy, focus on one eye for a few seconds, and then shift focus to his other eye. And then, shift your gaze to his lips. And there we have the triangular eye contact. Stare at each eye one at a time, and his lips, and repeat it occasionally during the conversation with him. Men use this seduction move all the time, so why shouldn’t you use it right back at them?!

6. Be expressive

This may sound petty and trivial, but having your own quirky expressions work! Do you wink when you say something funny? Or do you stick your tongue out when you say something silly? Or do you tilt your head to one side while trying to make a point?

Whatever it is, spend a few minutes in front of the mirror and work on your unique expressions. Learn to use your eyes and your facial expressions to your advantage, and you won’t really need words to impress a guy and make him flirt with you.

Learn to flutter your eyelids, work your smile and your little happy expressions, and va-va-voom! You’ll be a flirty goddess no guy can forget. And they’ll flirt harder and harder to see those same expressions on your face!

It may take a while for you to pick up on expressions that work for you, but learning to use your expressions to your advantage can change your life forever. [Read: The 15 most obvious signs of flirting between a guy and a girl]

7. Show interest in him

When you’re talking to a guy, be genuinely interested in what he has to say. Now, of course, if you like a guy, I’m assuming you’re definitely going to be interested in his words. Engage him, ask him to elaborate, and listen attentively.

But if you’re only faking interest while staring at him blankly just so he can flirt with you, maybe you’re better off flirting with someone you enjoy talking to.

8. Do that thing with your hair

Now don’t ask us why, but guys are suckers for those hair flips and twirls. Perhaps, it’s because we can’t play flirty with our hair like women can. Guys love it when women run their hands through their hair.

The next time you’re in the middle of a conversation, you can run your hands through your hair to show off your confidence or tuck your hair behind your ears with your fingers to show off your sexy cuteness. But whatever you do, it’ll only make a guy’s jaw drop in awe.

Just a word of caution, don’t be one of those girls who play with their hair throughout the conversation. Use this move once every ten minutes or so, because it just looks disturbing and too eager if you flip your hair across his face every couple of minutes! [Read: 10 flirty moves that girls think are cute but guys absolutely hate!]

9. Tease him and get him to tease you

If you really want to know how to flirt with a guy, you should also learn to put him down in jest, or make him work harder to impress you. You can’t always put him on a pedestal just because you like him.

If his joke isn’t really funny, say it. If he’s trying too hard, say it. Pull a guy down a few notches once in a while, and he’ll only overdo himself to prove himself to you.

Always remember this, if you want to successfully flirt with a guy and make him flirt with you, you have to make him feel special. But the flirty game still has to be in your control. [Read: How to tease a guy and make him realise just how much he likes you]

You should make him feel nice, but teasing him in jest or putting him down once in a rare while gives him something to fight for. You know how competitive men are, use it against him and he’ll only try harder. [Read: 25 sexy ways to solder and ooze sex appeal]

10. Don’t be loud or obnoxious

Almost all manly guys with raging testosterone like a feminine girl. You don’t need to act like a dainty princess out of a fairytale all the time. But when you’re having a conversation with a guy, try to be subtle and feminine, be it in your voice or the way you dress.

This may seem sexist, but a brash or loud girl is actually more of a turn off for guys than anything else.

11. Touch him now and then

Well, at some point, you’re going to have to up the ante on the subtle flirting, right? So far, you’re making him take all the effort.

Touch him subtly at the right moment, this is one of the best ways to make a guy desire you and want to flirt with you. Men just can’t help but go weak in the knees when a girl they’re flirting with, touches them.

It’s involuntary, but every time a girl touches a guy, either on his arm or his shoulder, the guy opens up more and feels more comfortable to talk to the girl or flirt with her.

Learn to touch a guy now and then while talking to him and you’ll see how easy it will be to make him flirt with you in minutes! [Read: Easy examples and ways to touch a guy and arouse his senses]

12. Exude femininity

You don’t have to act like a school girl to win a guy’s heart *that IS creepy*, but if you want a guy to start flirting with you, you need to make him feel like he can protect you. The masculine has always been the hunters and the protectors through evolution. So if you want him to be drawn to you, you need to let him take the lead at least for a few minutes.

Men like to take the lead, be it asking a girl out or flirting with her, so just play it easy and wait for him to start flirting with you. After all, you don’t want to start flirting before he does and risk a chance of getting blown off, do you? [Read: The ultimate girl’s guide to be way more feminine while talking to a guy]

13. Make him feel special

If you’ve understood how to flirt with a guy, you’d know how important it is to make a guy you’re flirting with feel special. Now, you don’t need to do anything new here, but you need to remember that when you make a guy feel special, he’d get attracted to you and would want to be with you.

Make him feel special with your smile and your expressions, and your compliments and your flirty touches, and any guy you like would want to flirt with you and would find you desirable in no time. [Read: 15 effortless ways to make a guy feel special when you’re talking to him]

14. Don’t overdo it

Now this is important. It’s easy to realize you’ve turned into a powerful flirty goddess who can mesmerize men with the snap of her fingers. Yay, good for you! But know when to stop, and hold back from ever overdoing it.

How can you tell you’re overdoing it? The easiest way? You feel it! It’s always better to underplay your flirting moves and leave the guy guessing, instead of making it so obvious that it looks like you’re throwing yourself at the guy.

15. Slutty is not flirty

Another key to remember. Yes, you have boobs and a never-ending cleavage. Or maybe your legs are ah-maz-ing! If it really is as awesome as YOU think it is, believe me, the guy has checked it out already.

Don’t bend over low while grinning at him, or stretch your leg across his face just so he can see how sexy you are. Flirt with subtlety, mystery is more of a turn on than attention-seeking actions that scream “I want the D”. [Read: 15 subtle secrets of seduction all girls must know]

16. End the conversation at the right time

Now this isn’t important, but it’s a reminder that you shouldn’t get carried away while talking to a guy. Enjoy the conversation, but be prepared to walk out of it sooner than you want to. Always leave them wanting more.

Now that you know how to flirt with a guy subtly, do you want to master 30 easy flirting examples you can use anytime? Check them out here – 30, very subtle, flirty and outrageously naughty flirting moves for girls]

These steps on how to flirt with a guy is everything you’d need to flirt with a guy without really flirting at all! Try them, and you’ll see the difference in the very next conversation.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...