How to Flirt with a Guy Subtly Without Really Flirting At All

How to Flirt with a Guy

Ever met a girl who can get any guy she likes? Want to be that girl? Read this guide on how to flirt with a guy subtly, without making it obvious to him.

Some girls have it. And some girls don’t. But is that really true? Can’t any girl master how to flirt with a guy subtly, and effectively? Well, now you can! Honestly, flirting with a guy is the easiest thing to do, if you really understand a guy’s mind.

What do you think flirting really is?

When you think of a girl flirting, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Touching a guy unnecessarily? Laughing at all his jokes? A high pitched voice? Sexual innuendos? Lots of back-and-forth banter? Public display of needless affection? Staring into each other’s eyes so deeply that it makes everyone around wanna throw up? [Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]

Okay, that IS flirting. But it’s flirting to the hilt, to the point that makes everyone around cringe, and want to scream “go get a room” at the couple!

While making it obvious that you want to chew on each other’s face is flirting, it’s exactly this kind of flirting that makes every girl want to avoid flirting – because the common portrayal of flirting is so over-the-top. And it’s also verbal dry humping, not flirting.

Honestly, the right kind of flirting is a lot more subtle, it’s discreet, and it’s the kind that makes someone fall hard for you without even knowing why they’re falling for you. Wanna know how to be that girl who can make guys fall for her by the end of a conversation? You can be that girl by the end of this article.

Understanding how men flirt

Let’s get to the basics here, how do men flirt? You need to understand a man’s mind before you try to seduce him with words, right? [Read: How men flirt – 15 subtle things guys do to impress girls]

Men, no matter what their age, love the idea of charming women. They may be smooth talkers or nervous wrecks when it comes to communicating with women, but they all love the idea of charming women.

If you really want to know how to flirt with a guy, you need to understand this fact that guys are always excited to flirt with a girl. But then again, guys aren’t going to flirt outrageously with every girl they meet. Flirting is scary business for a guy. They can’t risk making a flirty move at a girl, unless she gives them a sign.

After all, a wrong move by the guy and he could be called a pervert or a sleazy git who throws himself at women. So sometimes, all you really need to do is let a guy know that it’s okay to admire you *a.k.a. flirt with you*, and flirt he will! [Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested without appearing overeager]

The different ways you can flirt with a guy

If you’re talking to a guy and want to flirt with him, you’re at the right place. Just go on reading and you’ll know it all in no time.

If you’re interested in a guy, want to make eye contact with him from afar, and want him to approach you, use this guide – How to get a guy to talk to you – The shy girl’s guide

Or if you’re already texting the guy, it gets way easier! Just use this guide, and work your magic in no time – How to flirt with a guy over text – 25 examples that work like a charm

Wanna master the art of subtle flirting while talking to a guy without flirting at all? Read on!

How to flirt with a guy when you’re talking to him

Guys may think twice before trying to flirt with girls, but if you follow these steps on how to flirt with a guy, you’ll have guys warming up and flirting with you all the time, even if they’re with their own girlfriend!

And you do know this little secret, don’t you? Guys are drawn and attracted to a girl they can flirt with. So work your magic!

Remember, you don’t ever have to make the first move if you know these tips on flirting with a guy subtly. Just follow these steps as simple as they may seem, and by the end of it all, you can make any guy you like flirt with you without ever making the first move!

#1 Smile, blush and be coy. Guys love a girl who’s happy and full of positivity. And guys especially love a girl who smiles and laughs when she’s having a conversation with them. Don’t be arrogant or rude to the guy you’re talking with, or to people around. Guys stay away from girls who behave this way, even if they’re attractive looking.

Be warm and approachable when you’re talking to a guy. Smile a lot and blush when he compliments you, and we assure you his heart will skip a beat!

And better yet, ask him all the right questions that’ll make him laugh out loud, and feel more relaxed. Do that, and he’ll want to stick around and talk to you forever. [Read: 15 fun questions to ask a guy to make him laugh and want you around]

#2 Compliment him and thank him. Guys love compliments, and compliments are one of the stepping stones of a happy flirty conversation. If you like something about a guy, make sure you compliment him for that. He would love the fact that you noticed something nice about him, and furthermore, he’d go out of his way to have a flirty conversation with you.

And likewise, if he’s being rather courteous or chivalrous, thank him with a warm smile. [Read: 25 unique compliments for guys they’ll never ever forget]

When you acknowledge a guy’s chivalry or gestures positively, he’ll try harder to please you. And along the way, he’ll be warmer and will flirt more, just to win your attention. [Read: The damsel in distress and why men find them irresistible]

#3 Stare into his eyes. One of the secrets to know how to flirt with a guy subtly is to really feel, and believe you’re enjoying the conversation with him *you like him, so chances are, you ARE enjoying the conversation already!*.

Focus on the guy completely as you talk to him. And when you’re having a conversation with him, look into his eyes deeply and smile now and then as he’s talking to you. It may confuse him or make him feel awkward, but a deep eye contact and a happy smile will make him wanna lose himself in your eyes too. You didn’t think subtle flirting was this easy, did you?!

#4 Bring the focus on your lips. Lick your lips, suck on a straw, look away and run a finger across your lower lip as you contemplate over something he said, bite something, apply chapstick, do anything that brings the focus to your lips. Subtly, of course!

You may catch him staring at your lips, but don’t get too flattered just yet. There are some girls who feel so thrilled that their flirting moves are working, they start gloating about it either by laughing at the guy’s face or getting carried away. Don’t be that girl, seriously! It’s a huge turn off. Focus on subtlety, and just play along nonchalantly as he falls for you. [Read: Lip-biting and the scientific explanation behind why it’s so sexy]

#5 The triangular eye contact. Now this works, and how! Have you ever realized when you’re talking to anyone, you usually only stare at one eye and not both eyes at once? Okay, now that you’ve got that premise, let’s go on.

When you’re talking to a guy, focus on one eye for a few seconds, and then shift focus to his other eye. And then, shift your gaze to his lips. And there we have the triangular eye contact. Stare at each eye one at a time, and his lips, and repeat it occasionally during the conversation with him. Men use this seduction move all the time, so why shouldn’t you use it right back at them?!

#6 Be expressive. This may sound petty and trivial, but having your own quirky expressions work! Do you wink when you say something funny? Or do you stick your tongue out when you say something silly? Or do you tilt your head to one side while trying to make a point?

Whatever it is, spend a few minutes in front of the mirror and work on your unique expressions. Learn to use your eyes and your facial expressions to your advantage, and you won’t really need words to impress a guy and make him flirt with you.

Learn to flutter your eyelids, work your smile and your little happy expressions, and va-va-voom! You’ll be a flirty goddess no guy can forget. And they’ll flirt harder and harder to see those same expressions on your face!

It may take a while for you to pick up on expressions that work for you, but learning to use your expressions to your advantage can change your life forever. [Read: The 15 most obvious signs of flirting between a guy and a girl]

#7 Show interest in him. When you’re talking to a guy, be genuinely interested in what he has to say. Now, of course, if you like a guy, I’m assuming you’re definitely going to be interested in his words. Engage him, ask him to elaborate, and listen attentively.

But if you’re only faking interest while staring at him blankly just so he can flirt with you, maybe you’re better off flirting with someone you enjoy talking to.

#8 Do that thing with your hair. Now don’t ask us why, but guys are suckers for those hair flips and twirls. Perhaps, it’s because we can’t play flirty with our hair like women can. Guys love it when women run their hands through their hair.

The next time you’re in the middle of a conversation, you can run your hands through your hair to show off your confidence or tuck your hair behind your ears with your fingers to show off your sexy cuteness. But whatever you do, it’ll only make a guy’s jaw drop in awe.

Just a word of caution, don’t be one of those girls who play with their hair throughout the conversation. Use this move once every ten minutes or so, because it just looks disturbing and too eager if you flip your hair across his face every couple of minutes! [Read: 10 flirty moves that girls think are cute but guys absolutely hate!]

#9 Tease him and get him to tease you. If you really want to know how to flirt with a guy, you should also learn to put him down in jest, or make him work harder to impress you. You can’t always put him on a pedestal just because you like him.

If his joke isn’t really funny, say it. If he’s trying too hard, say it. Pull a guy down a few notches once in a while, and he’ll only overdo himself to prove himself to you.

Always remember this, if you want to successfully flirt with a guy and make him flirt with you, you have to make him feel special. But the flirty game still has to be in your control. [Read: How to tease a guy and make him realise just how much he likes you]

You should make him feel nice, but teasing him in jest or putting him down once in a rare while gives him something to fight for. You know how competitive men are, use it against him and he’ll only try harder. [Read: 25 sexy ways to solder and ooze sex appeal]

#10 Don’t be loud or obnoxious. Almost all manly guys with raging testosterone like a feminine girl. You don’t need to act like a dainty princess out of a fairytale all the time. But when you’re having a conversation with a guy, try to be subtle and feminine, be it in your voice or the way you dress.

This may seem sexist, but a brash or loud girl is actually more of a turn off for guys than anything else.

#11 Touch him now and then. Well, at some point, you’re going to have to up the ante on the subtle flirting, right? So far, you’re making him take all the effort.

Touch him subtly at the right moment, this is one of the best ways to make a guy desire you and want to flirt with you. Men just can’t help but go weak in the knees when a girl they’re flirting with, touches them.

It’s involuntary, but every time a girl touches a guy, either on his arm or his shoulder, the guy opens up more and feels more comfortable to talk to the girl or flirt with her.

Learn to touch a guy now and then while talking to him and you’ll see how easy it will be to make him flirt with you in minutes! [Read: Easy examples and ways to touch a guy and arouse his senses]

#12 Exude femininity. You don’t have to act like a school girl to win a guy’s heart *that IS creepy*, but if you want a guy to start flirting with you, you need to make him feel like he can protect you. The masculine has always been the hunters and the protectors through evolution. So if you want him to be drawn to you, you need to let him take the lead at least for a few minutes.

Men like to take the lead, be it asking a girl out or flirting with her, so just play it easy and wait for him to start flirting with you. After all, you don’t want to start flirting before he does and risk a chance of getting blown off, do you? [Read: The ultimate girl’s guide to be way more feminine while talking to a guy]

#13 Make him feel special. If you’ve understood how to flirt with a guy, you’d know how important it is to make a guy you’re flirting with feel special. Now, you don’t need to do anything new here, but you need to remember that when you make a guy feel special, he’d get attracted to you and would want to be with you.

Make him feel special with your smile and your expressions, and your compliments and your flirty touches, and any guy you like would want to flirt with you and would find you desirable in no time. [Read: 15 effortless ways to make a guy feel special when you’re talking to him]

#14 Don’t overdo it. Now this is important. It’s easy to realize you’ve turned into a powerful flirty goddess who can mesmerize men with the snap of her fingers. Yay, good for you! But know when to stop, and hold back from ever overdoing it.

How can you tell you’re overdoing it? The easiest way? You feel it! It’s always better to underplay your flirting moves and leave the guy guessing, instead of making it so obvious that it looks like you’re throwing yourself at the guy.

#15 Slutty is not flirty. Another key to remember. Yes, you have boobs and a never-ending cleavage. Or maybe your legs are ah-maz-ing! If it really is as awesome as YOU think it is, believe me, the guy has checked it out already.

Don’t bend over low while grinning at him, or stretch your leg across his face just so he can see how sexy you are. Flirt with subtlety, mystery is more of a turn on than attention-seeking actions that scream “I want the D”. [Read: 15 subtle secrets of seduction all girls must know]

#16 End the conversation at the right time. Now this isn’t important, but it’s a reminder that you shouldn’t get carried away while talking to a guy. Enjoy the conversation, but be prepared to walk out of it sooner than you want to. Always leave them wanting more.

Now that you know how to flirt with a guy subtly, do you want to master 30 easy flirting examples you can use anytime? Check them out here – 30, very subtle, flirty and outrageously naughty flirting moves for girls]

These steps on how to flirt with a guy is everything you’d need to flirt with a guy without really flirting at all! Try them, and you’ll see the difference in the very next conversation.

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Vin Serai
Vin Serai
A proponent of chivalry and romance, Vin Serai sees himself as a gregarious gentleman with an active imagination, who still manages to spend more time living in...

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38 thoughts on “How to Flirt with a Guy Subtly Without Really Flirting At All”

  1. yvonne says:

    hey i need help!!!
    i really like this guy and we are going to the movies with a group of friends, what are some ways i can get his attention without looking desperate?

  2. Ice says:

    The best website with tips, ever!!!!

  3. megz says:

    So, I thought this was all pretty great stuff, except for one tiny part: “Blush when he compliments you.” I’m sorry, is it just me or does any one else not have conscious control over the surface capillaries of their face? I’d love to be able to blush on command, and in a pretty way, too, not the “my face feels like it’s going to burn off and probably looks like a tomato” way, but it must just not be part of my genetic make up. If you have any tips on how to blush on command in just the apples of your cheeks, I would be SO happy. But until then…

  4. Morgan says:

    These are great tips on how to flirt. The best part is that anyone can use them and with practice any girl can be a master at flirting with guys! Thank you so much for this.

  5. Heather says:

    Seriously best flirting article I’ve ever read. It’s so accurate!

  6. Annie says:

    Omg this totally worked for me!

  7. annabelle says:

    omg I am going to try it! hope it works! wish me luck!

  8. breakherlegs says:

    @megz Oh God. Your comment made me lose my shit. XD

  9. lola says:

    I have been seeing this guy for 2 years, he never wanted a relationship but it was a good company with benefits as he would call it. He knew that I wanted to commit so I brought it up numerous times as he shows me these mixed messages. We have a great chemistry but he doesn’t speak much well he never used to he’s opening up more now but not about his emotions. Recently we decided to give “commiting” to one another a go but he’s still the same doesn’t talk much I don’t know whether he really wants this and I dont feel like bombarding him with 21q again about how he feels or what he wants

  10. Lucy says:

    I really like this guy but idk if he likes me? Any tips on knowing if a guy likes you or not?

  11. Ashley says:

    I like this guy but I can’t talk to him and every time he says anything to me the only thing I can do is smile and laugh and I can’t say anything

  12. olivia says:

    Well being asked out is weird if a boy asked you out during school at a awkward time is weird . It would be better for a boy to ask me out during lunch .

  13. Isa says:

    Um I know this rather loud and brash girl and she is super cute and popular with guys. I wouldn’t make the assumption that guys are turned off by girls that are too loud or outgoing

  14. Haley says:

    So there is this guy at my high school. I am a Freshman and he is a Sophmore. I really REALLY like him and he does too…but he also likes two other girls. One is older than him and one lives out of state. I totally understand this and can relate to, but I really want him to like me specifically. He’s nice, chivalrous, funny, nerdy, handsome, and everything I look for in a guy. Any suggestions?

  15. Raquel says:

    @Hayley Just tell him how you feel. If he likes you, as you say he does, than he will choose you over the others. Remember: the early bird gets the worm. If you keep waiting one of those other girls might confess their feelings first, and snatch him away from you. For all you know he might want you more than both of them, but is afraid you might not feel the same about him anymore; or even to begin with. Be brave and show him you care.

  16. Nora says:

    So… Basically pretend to be stupider, faker, fluffier and girlier than you are?

  17. Kat says:

    How do you attract a boy who has every girl crawling on him???

  18. Nahhh says:

    This article pissed me off. I’m the confidant type who enjoys making the first step and taking the lead, but I guess I just have to kill my entire personality in order to get a man to like me. Jesus fucking Christ.

  19. Zoey says:

    So I’ve tried some of these tips and others I think r just over the top depending on ur age . But thank u so much the actually work . I’ve liked this guy for a while now but neither of us would make the first move but after a few flirty tips we defiantly have something blooming . But girls always remember if this is not who u r be careful because u can stop the flirting once u got the guy u have to keep it up to keep him interested so don’t change urself .. Just upgrade 🙂

  20. Myours says:

    Awesome…..exteamly helpful..!:)

  21. Ash says:

    Great information can’t wait til he is bent over his knees for me

  22. Adam says:

    One of my friends asked me for advice on how to flirt with guys and I found this article.Honestly, I’m the type of guy who prefers a girl like that over all the stuff in this article. This is more of one girl’s success story than it is understanding male psychology. Not all men like this stuff, some do, but you likely don’t want a man who does for the same reason I don’t want a girl who acts like this. It is more important to have someone who wants you than it is to simply have someone if you have to act like someone else to get them.

  23. X says:

    ok so I like one of my guy friends a lot. and I finally got the guts to tell him and he said he liked me and now he and I are really close and talk a lot, but not in person. idk I get so nervous now when I go up to him and I don’t even know why. because before, we talked all the time and now it just seems awkward. it’s not the same and what should I do?

  24. xx says:

    I’m sorry but this article made me so upset. This is the exact opposite of feminism. It’s telling girls to be more quiet and the men are the “hunters and protectors”. That men like girls who aren’t brash and loud. It’s telling us not to get in his way and to catch his attention by being shy and flustered easily. Telling us to be more feminine than we are. Flirting shouldn’t require changing your personality. If you really want to make a relationship work, don’t fake it, or you might be stuck faking it for the rest of your relationship. This post is unhealthy and sets an unrealistic model for women. It makes them second think their personality. Please think about this in the next article you post.

  25. The Truth Hurts says:

    Never feel bad for going for what you want. Some guys don’t like fake flirtation, we like when you tell us exactly what you want in life and if you’re going after us we’ll gladly accept your advances (unless we’re a loyal to another person). I personally like a woman to skip over childish games and just tell me she loves my body and face and personality and wants to “hang out” with me after work. I personally like minor flirtation with a huge dose of telling me exactly what you want so I can decide if I’m down with that.

  26. The Truth Hurts says:

    You’re doomed. Chances are he enjoys leading women around like puppets because he has the ability to. It’s built into his ego. You’re going to have to step it up 10 notches to be better than those silly bitches.

  27. The Truth Hurts says:

    You need to take it to a higher level, might have to compliment something about him and say something that lets him know you’re not just keeping him in friend zone. You need to show him that you don’t want him to only be in friend zone but don’t go too fast or it might give him the slut vibe causing him to flee. I don’t know your age so I can’t tell you what he might want at that age.

  28. The Truth Hurts says:

    You could smile and hold your breath until your face turns red then carefully breathe again without exhaling or inhaling too hard to give it away that you were holding your breath. Either that or just stare into his eyes and smile, he will know you enjoyed the compliment.

  29. The Truth Hurts says:

    So, 4 years has passed since your question. Did you get that guy’s attention or are you already married with kids?

  30. Namra says:

    I like my best friends brother and he is 13 I don’t even know what to do he is just so HOT I can’t say my best friend does know and she promises not to tell her brother that I have a HUGE crush on him . She said that he has already got a girlfriend and I was so mad about that but the she said that when he takes her to dance class he stays as well because there are fit girls there she says , but I don’t get it why would you be looking at fit girls if you supposedly already have a girlfriend ? One day I will get over my fear and make a move . ????

  31. Milky says:

    That’s why you’re single you feminist. The article was on flirting not on maintaining a relationship. Go ahead with your aggressive man hating independent woman crap and be miserable.

  32. Malina says:

    The fuck? Where’s anything about man hating? What’s agressive here? Who says being single equals being miserable? She’s just upset that we’re expected to be fake to be attractive.

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