Want some assurance that your tryst will turn out great? Here’s how you can find out if he’ll be good in bed, without having to take his clothes off.
Knowing if a guy is good in bed can be very tricky. They don’t have “A-grade Lover” stamped anywhere on their butts, so you will have to rely on instinct and a little bit of information. Not all guys are the same, so you will have to look deeper into their actions and attitudes.
Does their personality and attitude tell you anything?
Unless you ask the last few girls they slept with, you can never know how a guy really is in bed. You can assume the best of them when they treat you well, but that is not the only precursor to their prowess in the sack.
Even if they’re nice to you, it does not mean that they have enough experience to actually deem themselves experts in the bedroom. Some men are shy and aloof, which begs the question as to whether they have the necessary tools to actually learn how to please a woman.
You cannot rely on playboys as well, because the amount of women they slept with is not a good basis for their abilities. Some guys are just in it for the numbers or their self-serving interests. Some guys aren’t even conscious of a woman’s needs.
Can I base their abilities from their looks alone?
Some people will tell you not to trust a guy who looks too good to be good in bed. Those people probably think that good-looking guys don’t bother honing their skills, because they can get almost any girl they want.
There are even those who would bet on average-looking guys, because they look like they’re willing to work to enhance their skills in bed. This type of pre-judging paves the way for a boatload of disappointment when you and your date finally get each other’s clothes off.
Basing a person’s skill in bed on their appearance is absolutely useless. Looks alone cannot determine whether a guy can be good in bed. An attractive person can be just as bad in bed as someone who’s equally unattractive. You don’t get to be a master in the sexual arts just by looking like it.
How will you know if a guy is going to be good in bed?
Even if these signs are present in the man that you’re seeing, it is not a 100% guarantee that he is going to be excellent in bed. Possessing these traits shows a high probability of their capacity to pleasure a woman, but it does not present a definite confirmation.
#1 He’s proud of his accomplishments – not braggy. When a guy knows that he’s good at something like sports or his career, he is likely to tell you that he plays football for a living or that he’s a humanitarian/investment banker/software engineer.
By being honest about the good things in his life, he can give a girl a hint about his accomplishments without having to brag about it. A guy who is good in bed wants you to know he is good in bed, but won’t go out of his way to advertise that fact.
#2 He’s generous. Men who are inherently generous find joy in the act of giving. This type of attitude reflects in the way they handle themselves in the bedroom. They enjoy sex just as much as the next guy, but they will always make sure that a woman gets what she needs by the end of the night. [Read: The 9 big issues on a man’s mind when having sex]
#3 He’s a gentleman. These types of guys adhere to the adage, “Ladies first.” He won’t allow himself to finish knowing that a girl hasn’t achieved an orgasm yet. Not only that, gentlemen are more likely to make women feel empowered and taken care of because of their penchant for avoiding offense. [Read: 11 ways to know you’re dating a real gentleman]
#4 He walks confidently and naturally. A man who is sure of himself usually walks, not with swag, but with self-assurance. This means that he has little to no doubt in his abilities as a man in his career, social circle and love life.
#5 He’s intuitive. Some men base their decisions on instinct alone and the way they assess other people’s feelings. This type of mindset is very useful in the bedroom, because they pay attention to what’s going on with their bodies as well as their partner’s.
#6 He’s smart. Intelligent men know what they are doing, because they apply everything they learned in life to any given situation. They know how to do things the right way, because it is the smart way. Their scientific attitudes are usually reflected in their bedroom prowess as well.
#7 He’s confident. A man can be confident, because he knows that he can deliver. He does not second-guess himself and he knows how to admit that he’s wrong. If a man has had enough sexual experiences, he probably knows exactly what to do and how to do it without doubting his abilities.
#8 He’s a good dancer. Good dancers have an innate sense of rhythm. They know how to move and when to move. They also have a good sense of body position, so they probably know where to put things and how to move it once it’s there.
#9 He’s a good kisser. Kissing is an instinctual act that needs no direct instruction or direction. When you kiss a person, you do it by feeling for your partner’s reactions. Good kissers know how to move their mouths and bodies with their partner’s. It’s very likely that they would do the same when making love. [Read: 11 signs of a bad kisser, and how to fix them]
#10 He can laugh at himself. When a guy can appreciate the humor in certain situations, it probably means that he is not the type of person who will back down from a challenge. He can just laugh it off and have another go. In terms of psyching yourself up for sex, that’s probably the best type of attitude you can expect.
#11 He’s vain. It’s not really a good attribute as a whole, but it does work well for their sexual partners. A vain person is almost always concerned about how people see them. In order to keep their vanity in check, they will probably do their best to outshine your past partners’ performances.
#12 He asks a lot of questions. Curiosity is always a good sign that shows a man is good in bed. If they’ve been this way for a long time, you can be sure that they’ve already asked the right questions and got the necessary answers from their past partners. [Read: 15 awkward questions guys wish they could ask girls]
#13 He holds your hand with just enough pressure. This can be a good sign that your partner will be an adequate lover, at least. They hold your hand with just the right amount of force, showing that they won’t be too gentle, but they also don’t grab it with too much force, showing that they can be aggressive in bed.
Instead of focusing on whether or not a man is going to be good in bed or not, take the time to know them better and see what you can find out about them. That’s what dating is all about. You need to create a connection that runs deep enough for you to trust one another, so you can learn what makes you happy in the bedroom or otherwise.
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Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...