There are way too many people out there who say men and women can’t be just friends. While the basis for their argument is a sound one, it’s just not at all true. So long as you both have a platonic understanding of one another, you can learn how to be friends with a guy.
Admittedly, it’s easy to cross the lines between friendship and something more. Especially as you grow comfortable with one another and you realize they know you better than anyone else, it’s easy to fall into the trap of being more than friends. It’s why some girls find it so easy to fall for their guy best friend!
However, if you really want to know how to be just friends with a guy, you may need to remember a few rules to make sure you don’t cross that platonic line.
This is another reason you might want to know how to be friends with a guy without getting too intimate. Even though you can be attracted to him and he might feel the same, there may be a very big reason it would never work out. Perhaps you both have different beliefs or want different things in life.
Sure, there’s evident chemistry, but are you really compatible with one another? As friends, you most likely know one another’s little quirks and even flaws. So while there is evident attraction, they could be the wrong person for you.
It’s best to stay in the friendship lane before you end up ruining your friendship for the potential of a relationship that won’t work. The point is, you still want them in your life, but you know you could never be with them romantically. However, it’s not always easy to stop yourself. Knowing what to do to remain platonic can help.
[Read: How to be just friends with a guy when he wants more]
If you value your friendship with this guy, it’s crucial you learn how to be just friends with a guy. Even if there’s this thought in your head that convinces you what if you’re good together, don’t give in to that thought. For all you know, you could be wrong for one another.
Also, you can always find another guy to date, but guy friends are keepers. You wouldn’t want to ruin what you have just to see if things would work, right? By knowing how to stay platonic with them, you can stop overthinking if the lines would cross beyond friendship. It can be hard *especially if you’re attracted to him*, but it’ll be worth it in the end.
If you have a guy you want to stay friends with but aren’t sure how you can prevent crossing the line, we can help. Here are all the ways you can avoid going overboard that will also help keep him in line, too.
This means you just need to tell him right away that friendship is all he’ll get from you. Sure, your feelings might grow down the line and his could, too, but this way, you’re telling him right away that it will never happen. What better way to insist on friendship than by telling him right from the start?
Also, it avoids any confusion if ever your actions say otherwise. He’ll just remember the day you told him that friendship is the only thing you can give him. This will deter him from making moves in the future, and it’ll help you stick to your original words. [Read: How to express your opinion without overstepping]
Don’t be talking to them and trying to be around them all the time. The more you distance yourself from him, the easier it’ll be to remain platonic friends. Let some texts go unanswered, but obviously not all of them.
Don’t let him get used to the fact that you’re constantly texting and calling him. Boundaries are essential if you want to know how to be friends with a guy without crossing any lines.
Your friends can create a really nice barrier between you and him. If you’re feeling particularly affectionate toward him, ask your friends to step in. Let your friends keep you accountable in not letting you cross any boundaries.
If you have the urge to hug him or be affectionate, well, that’s what your friends are there for! They’ll remind you precisely why you cannot be more than friends.
Space and distance can do wonders for learning how to be just friends with a guy. If you start to have feelings for him or are flirting quite a bit, create some distance. Get away from him and remove yourself from that situation. Distract yourself so you don’t end up doing things you might regret.
The closer you are to him, the more likely your feelings will intensify so it’s essential you create space, just to clear your head *and heart* for a bit. Don’t let yourself carry on to a point you can’t come back from. Stop the flirting on your end right away and ignore any flirting that comes from him. [Read: 15 obvious signs of flirting to look out for]
Find someone else to keep you occupied! If your attention and time are spent on someone else, it’ll prevent anything from blossoming between you and your friends. Plus, you’ll still be able to remain friends even if you’re dating someone else.
You know what they say, the best way to know how to be friends with a guy is to focus on another guy. So get dating and flirt with the next cute guy you spot! It’ll keep your focus off your guy friend, at least for a bit. You never know; you might even have feelings for this new guy.
This is probably the worst idea anyone could have, ever. Never get drunk with your guy friend if you want to remain as just friends. Sometimes it’s fine, but everything is increased when you get drunk. There’s a huge risk you’ll end up giving in when he flirts with you or worse, you might kiss him when you get too drunk!
That means if you have even the slightest bit of affection for him, it’ll come out a lot more when you’re drunk with him. So this is a mustn’t do if you want to know how to be just friends with a guy. If you do drink together, at least have a friend come with you.
Even if you’re not drinking, spending alone time together isn’t a good idea. It’ll feel very date-like even if you two are just friends. Remember that you’re trying to be friends and not end up dating this person!
Spending time with just the two of you leaves a lot of room for error *and flirting* so refrain from doing this! Every time he asks you to a movie or to grab coffee, bring a friend with you to keep you accountable. [Read: 12 quick tips for adding more people to your social circle]
Meaning, don’t ignore your feelings or the sexual tension if you feel any. Admit to yourself that you do feel something for him. Ignoring them will only make you grow closer to him, and it’ll ruin the friendship altogether.
The more you deny any lingering feelings you have for him, the stronger they’ll get to the point that you can no longer hide them. So admit that you feel something for him and take it from there.
No hugging or flirty touches. It’s not really appropriate if you’re trying to avoid falling for that person. If you don’t have any feelings for him at all, sure a hug here and there is fine. The minute you get physical with him, it’s game over for your friendship.
Even if you want to give him a harmless hug, trust us, there’s no such thing as harmless if you already have feelings for your guy friend! If you want to know how to be just friends with a guy, don’t get physical or at least limit it.
If others are calling you two boyfriend and girlfriend, put an end to it. Neither of you needs to start thinking of the other in this way, and stopping it will help avoid you two slipping into those respective roles.
This teasing might seem harmless, but it might trigger feelings for either of you that you never had if there wasn’t any teasing. You can’t always control the teasing, but if your mutual friends are doing the teasing, kindly tell them to stop. [Read: 17 signs he likes you way more than just a friend]
If he starts making moves and stuff toward you, shut him down. Don’t just ignore them because that won’t make them go away at all. You need to actually shut them down and communicate that you’re not interested. Don’t give in if he ever makes any advances towards you.
The minute you do that, you might as well date him already! Be firm about it and tell him that you’re not messing around in not wanting any actions that lead to more than friendship.
If he knows you’re dating someone, then it’s unlikely he’ll break the boundaries of your friendship into something more. So if you want to know how to be just friends with a guy, tell him about the guy you’re dating.
Don’t hesitate to let him know you’re dating someone and you really like this guy. If anything, he’ll take it as a sign to keep your friendship strictly platonic as long as some other guy is in your life. [Read: 14 platonic friendship rules to be just friends without the drama]
The fact you’re just friends means you don’t have to put your best foot forward when you’re with him. Don’t go all-out with your physical appearance if you want to know how to be friends with a guy.
You can’t keep dressing in your best clothes and makeup and expect him not to flirt with you or cross boundaries. Guys are visual individuals so if you look your pretties, guess what? He’ll likely make a move!
You’re literally setting yourself up for failure if you keep texting him late at night. So if you want things to stay strictly platonic with your guy friend, stop texting him late at night.
Look, you’re not a booty call, and you especially don’t want him getting personal to you. It’s easy to become intimate with someone when texting with someone late at night, so be wary of this.
If you want to know how to be just friends with a guy, avoid getting all touchy-feely with him. You’re setting yourself up to fail by doing this, similar to the previous point. Even if the guy you’re dating ditched you, it’s not an excuse to come crying on his shoulder when he comforts you and share feelings together.
Vulnerability is a scary road to enter when you want to be platonic. The minute you let your guard down, it’s easy to cross the lines of friendship and into something more.
This will help you the most. You need to keep reminding yourself why you only want to be friends and why a relationship would never work. If you keep thinking of those reasons whenever you have the urge to be something more, it’ll help keep you sane.
So if you’re serious about wanting to know how to be friends with a guy, remind yourself precisely why you’re doing this and take it from there. Remind yourself why you want to stay platonic, as these reasons are what will keep you grounded.
Staying just friends with a guy has its challenges, especially when it’s easy to give in to flirting and all the affection. Especially when you’re already attracted to him, you’re already at risk of making the friendship into something more. It’s best to remind yourself of all the reasons why you want to stay strictly friends and nothing more.
Knowing how to be friends with a guy means having the discipline and self-control to do this. Even if he flirts with you, don’t ever give in to it. Otherwise, it’s game over for your friendship.
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