Relationships always require work, even from the beginning stages where it feels giddy and effortless, you still make sure to impress someone and fight to keep them. Then, when you get more comfortable the effort required takes a different turn. You must find new ways to excite one another, remain interested in one another, and stay attracted. If you don’t feel that same connection, here are some steps for how to make your husband love you again.
It’s no wonder many marriages end up in trouble simply because the couple stopped making an effort. Living with someone for years and feeling completely comfortable with them is wonderful. But often you begin to take one another for granted. Conversation which used to carry on excitedly for hours, sharing interests, passions and dreams, is now no more than talking about what to cook for dinner or arguments about whose turn it is to take the trash out.
Has he fallen out of love?
If you noticed your husband acting differently towards you, you may feel he is distancing himself from the relationship and fallen out of love with you. It may be you simply noticed the signs, or he has actually come out and said it directly to you.
This can be a deeply troubling and upsetting revelation, especially if, until now, you felt happy and secure in your relationship. However, no doubt when you start to think about the things that may have gone wrong, you’ll soon realize there were many wrong turns that led to you growing apart. [Read: 12 subtle signs of a loveless, unhappy marriage]
How to make your husband love you again
Before you throw in the towel, there is plenty you can do to save your marriage and rekindle the romance and spark. Unless you husband is adamant that nothing will change his mind, and refuses to let you try, then it is worth you both making a concerted effort to become as close and in love as you were near the beginning of your relationship. [Read: 13 signs of a disrespectful husband that must not be ignored]
It may seem a difficult, almost impossible task, but if you are willing to fight for your marriage then it is certainly worth doing everything in your power to save it.
So, what can you do if your marriage has got to this point? Here are 12 ways to make your husband fall in love with you again.
#1 Stop nagging him. It may be that you don’t even realize you are doing it, but now is the time to step back and really look at your own behavior and how you act towards your husband. Maybe you get frustrated when he doesn’t make an effort. For example, leaving all the housework to you. But when you talk to him about this, are you doing it in the right way?
If all you talk about is him doing the washing up, cleaning the bathroom, spending more time with friends than with you, never paying attention to you, being out of shape, not getting that promotion, and so on it’s no wonder that he just wants a break from it all, and so begins to close off and distance himself. [Read: How to fix a broken relationship]
#2 Be strong—but not dramatic. If you’ve been letting your husband get away with murder he’ll start to lose respect for you and this can turn the relationship cold very quickly. By all means, stand up for yourself in arguments and talk through your problems. However, do this in a reasonable way, and always allow him to talk, try to see things from his point of view, and be prepared to compromise.
If you keep throwing a massive hissy fit when you disagree with him, he’ll soon find this tiring and close himself off from you. Bursting into tears doesn’t help either. Strong, independent women are the most attractive to men, so remember this and don’t be a doormat, but don’t be hysterical either. [Read: How to be a strong independent woman that men love]
#3 Be more than just a mom. If you have kids, it’s understandable to find that your relationship often gets pushed to the back burner. The problem is if this continues for too long your man is going to feel hurt and left out, and start to find his own things to do such as going out with friends. Looking after your children should be a priority, but so should your marriage.
Make sure that you make time for your husband. You need “grown up” time just the two of you. You need a lock on your bedroom door. You need to go on dates. Make sure you do all of this to keep the romance in your marriage alive. [Read: The 7 deadly sins of relationships that ruin romance for good]
#4 Listen to him. If he has complaints about your marriage, or things that he isn’t happy with don’t just brush them under the carpet. It is easy for us to think that our worries and issues are the most important, and yet be completely dismissive of others. Make sure you pay attention to your husband when he wants to discuss problems. It may be simple things that you can fix easily and makes all the difference.
#5 Be independent and happy. If your husband is acting as though he doesn’t love you anymore, it might be a good time to take a long hard look at yourself. Are you happy? Do you love yourself? It is hard to make others love us if we are constantly negative and down on ourselves. Learn what makes you happy, change the things that don’t, and you may see a dramatic improvement in your relationship too. [Read: How to feel happy: 13 proven strategies for instant happiness]
#6 Appreciate him. When you’ve been together for a long time it is easy to stop appreciating one another. If you want to know how to make your husband love you again, pay attention to the little things he does to look after you, and tell him how grateful you are. Whether it is making you a cup of tea in the morning or sorting out the car tax, showing him appreciation makes him feel special and loved. He’ll want to do the same for you in return.
#7 Be romantic. You might complain that the romance is dead in your relationship, but what have you done lately to rekindle it? Its antiquated to think that men should be the ones to make all the moves when it comes to romance. Show him how much you care and take him out or do something special for him to make him go weak at the knees.
#8 Make an effort in the bedroom. Sex is a huge part of any relationship, and one of the hardest parts to keep alive. Most couples experience a drop in the frequency and passion in their sex lives. However, it is all too easy to let it slowly dwindle until your sex life is barely there at all. It requires effort, but it is so worth it.
Keep things interesting in the bedroom. Don’t get lazy, and make an effort to try new things. Being physically intimate is closely linked to how you feel emotionally, so don’t forget it. [Read: 17 of the best naughty ideas to spice up married sex]
#9 Go on adventures. Make sure you do exciting things with him where you really let your hair down once in a while. Going on trips and adventures together remind you of when you first started dating and everything was passionate and carefree.
#10 Be affectionate. A hug. A kiss. Holding hands as you walk down the street. Physical intimacy isn’t just about sex. Being affectionate helps to put the spark back in your relationship too.
#11 Try new things. Sometimes relationships just get into too much of a routine. Do something different together or take a up a new hobby to bring you closer together once more and revive stale conversation. [Read: 10 steps to reignite the lost spark in your relationship]
#12 Forgive him. You may be harboring feelings of anger and resentment towards your husband. Whether it is because he has betrayed you in some way, or simply that you feel neglected. If you want to make a fresh start you must forgive him, wipe the slate clean, and try again.
[Read: Marriage advice: 11 tips for a happily ever after]
Just because you feel as though you and your husband have fallen out of love doesn’t mean it is time to throw in the towel just yet. Try these 12 tips and you could be back on track in no time!
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