If you really like a girl, chances are that you’ll be tongue-tied when your crush starts a little chat. But here’s how to talk to a girl you like.
With all your mirror-rehearsed conversation pieces sliding down the drain, your only hope is that she didn’t pay much attention to your stuttering and that you’ll still look cool and confident in her eyes.
We know that girls love a good chat every now and then, and the challenge to strike a balance between being confident and witty without sounding like a total loser is a real challenge.
How to talk to a girl you like
So if you want to know how to talk to a girl you like and be that well-rounded conversationalist that everyone flocks around at a party, here are some tips for you.
#1 Always act simple and natural. Approaching or getting approached by a girl you like can be a quite a fright, and we tend to be self-conscious as a result. But instead of trying to act cool and scrambling to come up with an act to impress her, it will always pay off to act naturally.
Remember, presenting yourself in a way that is beyond your natural demeanour can get screwed up at the last minute, therefore, it is best to keep it natural and simple. That way, thoughts weave out of you easily, and you will speak normally. [Read: How to talk to a girl and look smooth doing it]
#2 Mind your approach. When learning how to talk to a girl you like, be aware of how you do it. If you are the one to initiate the conversation, walk up to her casually in a friendly demeanor, and talk her up like a normal person would. If you hesitate, it would definitely look awkward, and if you come up too loud and strong, you might scare her off or intimidate her.
#3 Always keep yourself presentable. In order to make the conversation smoother and the approach easier, make it a habit to keep yourself presentable, at least at times when you intend to interact with the girl you like.
This means wearing clean and proper clothes, maintaining good hygiene, and wearing a natural, relaxed countenance. Practicing this eliminates the need to be conscious whether you smell or if your clothes are shoddy, thus making less room for an awkward encounter. [Read: How to be the Hot Guy – 20 rules to instant hotness!]
#4 Smile. A smile is the universal conversation starter. It eases the mood, relaxes any apprehension, and makes the conversation more enjoyable. This is a must for learning how to talk to a girl you like.
#5 Always make eye contact. And keep it that way as much as possible. Don’t let your eyes gravitate below her neckline or any of her lady parts. If you can’t keep eye contact for a very long time, you can alternate between her lips and her eyes. Keeping eye contact during a conversation is a sign of respect and sincerity. [Read: Fractionation seduction – How a guy can use emotions to seduce any woman]
#6 Keep a comfortable distance. Depending on whether you already know her or if you’re talking to her for the first time, it is advisable to maintain a safe “conversation distance” which is around one and a half to two feet between the two of you.
Getting too close to her personal space can be invasive *especially to girls*, and staying too far away can be interpreted as a sign of a lack of confidence and aloofness. [Read: How to talk to girls and leave them swooning]
#7 Try not to dominate the conversation. If you want to know how to talk to a girl you like, don’t be too dominant. As much as you would like to show off and try to impress her, dominating the conversation would make the interaction one-sided and might cut it short. Always remember to keep the conversation balanced.
Come up with topics that both of you can relate to and think of yourself as an interviewer. Ask more questions rather than forcibly shoving information onto her – more than what she needs to hear.
#8 Use tasteful language. Even if the girl you like is “liberal” in her use of language, you should still anchor your choice of words towards the polite conversational type.
#9 Use hand gestures. If “manners maketh a man,” gestures tell the insides of a man’s head. Hand gestures have many uses. It can be an indicator of your current state of mind or emotion, and also as a means to add flair to your conversation. Adopt hand gestures that show confidence, sincerity, and intellect. Avoid hand gestures that will be considered offensive and obscene.
#10 Compliment her. But not too much – that it looks like obvious flattery. It could be something simple as noticing her shirt, her hair, or anything on her person that could be fascinating with the obvious exception of her “other” lady parts. It is also advisable to start your conversation with a compliment, as it is a sign of admiration and interest. [Read: 20 fail-proof ways to manipulate women into liking you]
#11 Touching and physical contact. Just like the way you should mind your distance, you should also be very careful when initiating physical contact. Any form of physical contact that is beyond casual or friendly is out of the question.
The acceptable repertoire includes high fives, fist bumps, and the friendly arm of shoulder touch. These friendly touches happen especially if the conversation becomes enjoyable. But one must not get carried away. [Read: How to charm a girl and flatter her into liking you]
#12 Keep the conversation going. There are unavoidable moments when you’ll be caught in the moment enjoying her presence, and you’ll want to stay that way just staring at her. However, letting “dead air” or gaps of silence interrupt your conversation would only make it awkward and possibly bring it to an abrupt end. Instead…
a. Ask her questions – not to be nosy or prying, just the right questions to show that you’re interested in her activities.
b. Crack a joke – a way to lighten the mood and possibly bring the conversation to a new topic.
c. Use open-ended questions – avoid questions answerable by yes or no.
#13 Charm her with your wit and sense of humor. This is a perfect tip for how to talk to a girl you like. As old wisdom states, even if you’re not that good-looking, wit and sense of humor is a sure way to a girl’s heart. Throwing her into a fit of giggles will surely make her want to talk to you more and could possible reward you with an invitation to hang out, or even her phone number. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]
#14 Try to make a cool ending to the conversation. Ending the conversation at a time when she’s most engaged and interested would make her a little disappointed, but this will make her want more from you if you time it right.
Striking up a good conversation can be daunting, but if you follow these tips for how to talk to a girl you like, it can be pulled off with a combination of confidence, proper self-presentation, and the right choice of words.
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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...