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12 Grim Signs It’s Finally Time to End Your Relationship


There comes a point in every relationship when enough is enough, and it’s time to pack your bags and end it. But how do you know if you’re at that point?

Every relationship has its ups and downs, without everything turning to turmoil. But when the downs outnumber the ups, it may be time to start thinking about ending your relationship. Now, I never want to be one to tell someone when their relationship is over, but there are signs that everyone should be aware of.

Any relationship can go through a tough time and come out better than ever. But occasionally, people may think they’re in a “rut” only to be in that “rut” for years on end. So, how can you tell when the rut is something more than just a downfall in the relationship?

I have been in relationships that I thought I was stuck in, just because I missed these very important signs. I thought that things would get better and everything would be fine because I was “in love” with my partner. But the truth is, sometimes love isn’t enough in a relationship. [Read: 16 signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship]

Sings it’s finally time to end your relationship

I’ve been there a number of times: the place where you think your relationship will improve, only to spend months repeating that to yourself. Luckily for you, we’ve compiled a list of all the signs it may be time to kick your partner to the curb, and get on with your life.

#1 Your arguments are excessively frequent. It’s completely natural for people to get into some arguments here and there, but when you’re fighting every day of the week with little relief, then there are some bigger issues at play. Your arguments should never become so excessive that you’re struggling to get through the day with your partner. This can lead to increased stress and, ultimately, have an ill effect on your health.

#2 You argue about pointless things. Am I the only one who ends up picking a fight over almost nothing, just because something dumb struck a nerve? It didn’t matter what happened. They could have skipped doing the dishes, worn something weird, left their shoes on in my apartment, or pretty much anything that should be harmless. It was like I wanted to fight, so I could justify the fact that I wasn’t really feeling it anymore. Little did I know that this was a tell-tale sign. [Read: 18 relationship turn offs that can ruin a perfect romance]

#3 You’re annoyed with your partner more than you’re not. Does the sound of them chewing too loudly irk you, to the point that you have to leave the room, stomping your feet and scoffing at them? Yes? Then it might be a sign that it’s time to end your relationship.

You should want to be around your partner if you really care about them, not running the other way every time they enter a room. If you are, then there’s probably a deeper problem.

#4 Things you used to find attractive are irritating. This is probably my go-to when deciding if my relationship is at its end. When you start finding the things they do irritating, when you used to think they were super attractive, it’s time to think about whether or not your relationship is at its end.

The things they do and have always done are a part of who they are. If you find yourself getting frustrated at the things you once loved, it’s time to wake up, and realize what’s going on. You’re just not into them anymore.

#5 You stop caring what they think about you. I don’t care if you’ve been together for two weeks or two decades, you should always care about what your partner thinks of you. They are supposed to be the person you look to for advice, counseling, and support. If you just don’t care about any of that anymore, what are you even doing? [Read: 12 undeniable signs you’ll break up in a few months]

#6 You’re not afraid of losing them. If there’s one thing that really shows it’s time to end the relationship, it’s if you don’t care if it does end. If you really love someone, then you will always want them in your life. The thought of losing them should scare you. If it doesn’t, then maybe it’s time to call it.

#7 Respect has seemingly been lost. Whether you have lost respect for them, or you feel like they have lost respect for you, it’s a sign that things are headed south—quickly. How can you have a healthy relationship with someone who you don’t respect, or who doesn’t respect you? The answer is simple: you can’t.

#8 You feel like a burden. If it feels like you’re pulling teeth when you ask your partner to visit your family or friends, or accompany you to an important event, something is clearly wrong. Your partner should want to be with you and support you in all situations.

This can go for them, too. If you are feeling frustrated and reluctant when they want you to go with them to important things in their lives, something is off, and you should really do some self-reflection. You might be ready to move on. [Read: 20 sure signs your relationship is oh-so-over already]

#9 You stop talking about the future. It’s healthy for a relationship to grow and make plans for the future. You don’t necessarily have to talk about kids, or marriage, or anything like that. But if you stop making plans for even a month or two months down the road, it’s a sign that you both don’t see yourselves with each other—especially when all you used to do was talk about the future.

#10 You feel insecure in your relationship. Do you feel like your significant other is going to bolt at the first opportunity? Well, maybe they are feeling that way. If you feel like you are losing your partner little by little, and you’re uncertain of their feelings for you, it’s definitely a sign that it’s time to end your relationship.

Only feeling secure and happy when your partner is in the same room as you is a surefire sign that things are not right, and you’re headed down an unhealthy road. [Read: 12 subtle signs you or your partner are clearly starting to fall out of love]

#11 You feel the need to “watch” yourself. Are you constantly feeling like you’re walking on eggshells around your special someone? Feeling this way is unhealthy. I was in a relationship where I felt like I had to watch what I said, did, ate, and even how I did certain things, or they would freak out and we would get into a fight.

This is certainly not a healthy relationship. You should be able to be yourself around your significant other, and they should love you for that. Hiding who you are for their sake is a sign that it’s finally time to end that relationship and move on. [Read: 12 signs you’re walking on eggshells in your love life]

#12 You have simply lost feelings. Many people feel that if they’ve been with someone for a long time, they should “try to make it work.” But what is there to make work, when you know deep down that you no longer feel the same way about them?

Don’t put their happiness above your own. As much as it might hurt them—and you—if you have lost feelings for your partner and no longer have the desires you once did, then it’s time to end things—for both of your sakes.

[Read: 18 critical signs to watch out for in an unhealthy relationship]

Ending a relationship can be one of the biggest decisions you have to make. If you’re feeling reluctant and unsure if you’re making the right choice by moving on, use these 12 signs to determine if it’s finally time to end your relationship.

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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6 thoughts on “12 Grim Signs It’s Finally Time to End Your Relationship”

  1. Trish says:

    It’s always hard to end a relationship but if you know that you should end it, please, for you and him’s sake, break up. It’s going to be hard at first, I know because I’ve been with a long term relationship for 5 years and the thought that grow to your head is all the wasted time and memories together and the family involvement as well. It’s never going to be easy and the hardest thing for me was the family that was already involved in our relationship, I mean my ex’s family, already treat me like their own, you know, and it’s hard to break up when you have other people to think about that’s bound to your relationship. It wasn’t easy, I tell you but when we talked about it, there was no closure at all, I just left and never spoke to her or her family again. She tried reaching our to my mom and my other relatives but they were on my side, obviously. I really found relief and it was well worth breaking up with her. For all my life I was bound to her and it was immature love that we had. I accidentally just got tied up with her in high school due to peer pressure and all the people wanting us to be together, so I went with it and I Was in love with the idea of being in love but I was never in love with her. It was really hard to erase the memories that you both shared but I have more memories of us fighting than all the good times we’ve shared. There was no day that we didn’t fight. No hour to say the least that we didn’t fight. It’s either through text or when we were together. The people on facebook thought that we were the perfect couple, you know, her always posting how good we were together but in reality, it’s always the opposite. We were miserable, I can say that because even she wanted to give up but she just didn’t want to waste everything. I thought it was time for me to finally have my own word in this and try to think for my own. I did and I can say that it was the best decision I have ever made. If I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t have met my true love. I learnt so much from my previous relationship that it guided me on what to do to the next, I’m really lucky because I fell in love with my real soulmate and we are just genuinely in love with each other. I don’t regret having a relationship in the past because then, I wouldn’t be the man I am today for the woman of my life. You may think it’s not going to be worth it to end a long term relationship but trust me, you are both far better off seeing other people and that’s the truth. You just have to remind yourselves of that everyday.

  2. Cat M. says:

    I’m so glad I found a place where I can tell what has happened to me. My girlfriend and I have been together for like two and a half years. We know everything about each other, we have the same friends and tastes and everything you can imagine. I haven’t known a person better than Lily. We started arguing about half a month ago when she returned late home. I think that was the spark and that was what made the glass pour down. Since then we started arguing about simple things, about where she’d been and what she is wearing to work and stupid stuff like that. Just like this article said, I feel like our relationship has become a burden for the both of us and we are just not brave enough to end it. I believe that I would have to be the one to do that.

  3. Stephen says:

    Well, let me tell you my story. I’m a 25 year old guy and I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the last 2 years. Lately I’ve been feeling very out of place, like i’m somewhere in life I shouldn’t be. I’ve been wanting to be able to snap my fingers and magically disappear and reappear in some other city, in some other apartment, by myself. We met just over 2 years ago at work, hung out a couple times, then she came over to my place and slept over for the first time. Ever since then, we have pretty much been living together. So basically, due to the circumstances of her current situation at the time, she moved in with me after we had been dating for only a few weeks. Yes, we jumped into things very quickly. Everything just felt so perfect! 3 months passed, and we move to another city together which was her home city. I went along for the ride because I was really bored with life and hadn’t had a girlfriend for a long time and was quite enjoying the whole idea of being with someone who was drop dead gorgeous and who loved me unconditionally. Talks of marriage and being together forever and having kids and all that came up very soon, however it was 99% coming from her mouth. As you can see, things got serious very quickly! So, now it is around 2 years later, I am 25 and she is now 20, and we are living in our 5th apartment together back in the city which we first met in. We have had many fights, small and big and bigger, and we’ve also had a lot of good times and share many great memories together. Our lives have been fused together, and the only times we are apart is when we are at work. So, the problem is that I have a troubling concern that I have gotten to this point by just going with the flow of the relationship. I feel that I have exhausted my interest and time in this relationship, and that I am not done living life by myself. Before I met her, I was a bit of a loner. I had friends that a saw and hung out with every week, but I was generally at home playing guitar and doing my own thing. Now, I cannot seem to find hardly any time at all for playing or recording because I am always with her, and for some reason my body always feels compelled to go lay down with her on the couch instead of anything else because it’s such a warm and comfortable feeling cuddling with her and being close to her. I have also lost my best friend because of the fact that i’m always with my girlfriend. There have been several occasions where I’ve had to cancel plans with my friend, because me and my girl had been in a bad fight and just made up, and it would feel weird just getting up and leaving her in such a fragile state. As well, I can’t see any female friends because my g/f is too jealous. Which really sucks, because it leaves me with nobody to talk to if i’m having any relationship problems, and more importantly I really miss having the freedom to do what I want and when I want. Now, that’s all pretty normal stuff I guess for someone in my position, but it goes a little further than that. From the second I helped my girl move out of her dorm, I had a gut feeling telling me that I either walk away now, or walk away far down the road when it would be much more painful. Some sort on intuition was telling me that it wasn’t meant to be. But, I said screw it and decided to go along for the ride and deal with the rest later. Along the whole relationship, I have also been attracted to other women. It doesn’t stop, and maybe that’s normal. But I just don’t know how I am only supposed to be attracted to one woman. I am speaking in more of a sexual tense, not in an emotional way. I look at other girls, I dream of other girls sometimes, and when me and my g/f are having sex, I quite often imagine i’m having sex with a different girl as well. It’s not that we have bad sex and I have to pretend she’s someone else, it’s just that…I think I get tired of the same old thing. I think it’s because before I met her, I was a virgin. She doesn’t know that though, I’ve pretty much lied my may into making her believe that I’ve been with other women. I’m not proud of it, but the fact that I was a virgin (at 23) and she had been with around 13 guys (at 18) made me quite embarrassed. Well, to really cut my story short, I ended up my relationship because I really followed what I believed in. Two years was spent with I think was the wrong person all along. I don’t see her being in my life anymore.

  4. Marty says:

    Yeah, things were definitely done when I got to the point I just didn’t care if I lost them. There were days I wouldn’t care in the slightest if I came home and my apartment was empty. In fact, I was secretly praying for the day I would get it and my wish was finally granted when I reached out to my friends and got closer to my social circle as a means of giving myself a little padding for a breakup.

  5. Nami says:

    After a lot of tears and soul searching I ended my relationship today. I’m feeling sad and lonely right now, but know that it was the right thing to do. He went on vacation with his family last week and I didn’t hear from him while he was gone. I didn’t really expect to and I wasn’t going to interject myself into the vacation by contacting him. What finally pushed me to make the decision is a picture he posted on face book of his wife holding his boys and all three of them smiling at him with so much love. That picture made me burst into tears and at that point I knew that I needed to end the relationship. It makes me sad because on so many levels he and I “click” but I know that even if he isn’t happy he isn’t going to make the decision that he would need to make for us to continue. So I emailed him today see when we could meet and then just couldn’t not say anything and sent him an email ending things. Not surprisingly I haven’t heard back from him and I’m not sure how long it will be until I do. I just wish this weren’t so hard…anyway, thanks for reading, there aren’t many people in my real life who know about this situation so there isn’t really anyone I can talk to right now…

  6. Jennmags says:

    30 years here in a marriage of convenience. Not a lot of give and take.
    I regret so much and still have no way out. We live like roommates.
    I’m miserable and have told him so many times my head hurts.
    He doesn’t discuss relationship issues with me so it’s all so very one sided.
    He doesn’t believe in counseling.
    I go for myself but all it does is remind me what I don’t have.
    I’m a lost little girl in a 50 year olds body and have no way out. I deal and that’s all. So stuck.

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