There comes a point in every relationship when enough is enough, and it’s time to pack your bags and end it. But how do you know if you’re at that point?
Every relationship has its ups and downs, without everything turning to turmoil. But when the downs outnumber the ups, it may be time to start thinking about ending your relationship. Now, I never want to be one to tell someone when their relationship is over, but there are signs that everyone should be aware of.
Any relationship can go through a tough time and come out better than ever. But occasionally, people may think they’re in a “rut” only to be in that “rut” for years on end. So, how can you tell when the rut is something more than just a downfall in the relationship?
I have been in relationships that I thought I was stuck in, just because I missed these very important signs. I thought that things would get better and everything would be fine because I was “in love” with my partner. But the truth is, sometimes love isn’t enough in a relationship. [Read: 16 signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship]
Sings it’s finally time to end your relationship
I’ve been there a number of times: the place where you think your relationship will improve, only to spend months repeating that to yourself. Luckily for you, we’ve compiled a list of all the signs it may be time to kick your partner to the curb, and get on with your life.
#1 Your arguments are excessively frequent. It’s completely natural for people to get into some arguments here and there, but when you’re fighting every day of the week with little relief, then there are some bigger issues at play. Your arguments should never become so excessive that you’re struggling to get through the day with your partner. This can lead to increased stress and, ultimately, have an ill effect on your health.
#2 You argue about pointless things. Am I the only one who ends up picking a fight over almost nothing, just because something dumb struck a nerve? It didn’t matter what happened. They could have skipped doing the dishes, worn something weird, left their shoes on in my apartment, or pretty much anything that should be harmless. It was like I wanted to fight, so I could justify the fact that I wasn’t really feeling it anymore. Little did I know that this was a tell-tale sign. [Read: 18 relationship turn offs that can ruin a perfect romance]
#3 You’re annoyed with your partner more than you’re not. Does the sound of them chewing too loudly irk you, to the point that you have to leave the room, stomping your feet and scoffing at them? Yes? Then it might be a sign that it’s time to end your relationship.
You should want to be around your partner if you really care about them, not running the other way every time they enter a room. If you are, then there’s probably a deeper problem.
#4 Things you used to find attractive are irritating. This is probably my go-to when deciding if my relationship is at its end. When you start finding the things they do irritating, when you used to think they were super attractive, it’s time to think about whether or not your relationship is at its end.
The things they do and have always done are a part of who they are. If you find yourself getting frustrated at the things you once loved, it’s time to wake up, and realize what’s going on. You’re just not into them anymore.
#5 You stop caring what they think about you. I don’t care if you’ve been together for two weeks or two decades, you should always care about what your partner thinks of you. They are supposed to be the person you look to for advice, counseling, and support. If you just don’t care about any of that anymore, what are you even doing? [Read: 12 undeniable signs you’ll break up in a few months]
#6 You’re not afraid of losing them. If there’s one thing that really shows it’s time to end the relationship, it’s if you don’t care if it does end. If you really love someone, then you will always want them in your life. The thought of losing them should scare you. If it doesn’t, then maybe it’s time to call it.
#7 Respect has seemingly been lost. Whether you have lost respect for them, or you feel like they have lost respect for you, it’s a sign that things are headed south—quickly. How can you have a healthy relationship with someone who you don’t respect, or who doesn’t respect you? The answer is simple: you can’t.
#8 You feel like a burden. If it feels like you’re pulling teeth when you ask your partner to visit your family or friends, or accompany you to an important event, something is clearly wrong. Your partner should want to be with you and support you in all situations.
This can go for them, too. If you are feeling frustrated and reluctant when they want you to go with them to important things in their lives, something is off, and you should really do some self-reflection. You might be ready to move on. [Read: 20 sure signs your relationship is oh-so-over already]
#9 You stop talking about the future. It’s healthy for a relationship to grow and make plans for the future. You don’t necessarily have to talk about kids, or marriage, or anything like that. But if you stop making plans for even a month or two months down the road, it’s a sign that you both don’t see yourselves with each other—especially when all you used to do was talk about the future.
#10 You feel insecure in your relationship. Do you feel like your significant other is going to bolt at the first opportunity? Well, maybe they are feeling that way. If you feel like you are losing your partner little by little, and you’re uncertain of their feelings for you, it’s definitely a sign that it’s time to end your relationship.
#11 You feel the need to “watch” yourself. Are you constantly feeling like you’re walking on eggshells around your special someone? Feeling this way is unhealthy. I was in a relationship where I felt like I had to watch what I said, did, ate, and even how I did certain things, or they would freak out and we would get into a fight.
This is certainly not a healthy relationship. You should be able to be yourself around your significant other, and they should love you for that. Hiding who you are for their sake is a sign that it’s finally time to end that relationship and move on. [Read: 12 signs you’re walking on eggshells in your love life]
#12 You have simply lost feelings. Many people feel that if they’ve been with someone for a long time, they should “try to make it work.” But what is there to make work, when you know deep down that you no longer feel the same way about them?
Don’t put their happiness above your own. As much as it might hurt them—and you—if you have lost feelings for your partner and no longer have the desires you once did, then it’s time to end things—for both of your sakes.
Ending a relationship can be one of the biggest decisions you have to make. If you’re feeling reluctant and unsure if you’re making the right choice by moving on, use these 12 signs to determine if it’s finally time to end your relationship.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...