10 Sure Signs the Girl You Like is Just Using You!

10 Sure Signs the Girl You Like is Just Using You!

Have you ever fallen in love with a girl only to find that you’re more lost and confused than ever? Gasp! Is she using you? Find out with these signs.

She may seem charming and cute.

She may even be flirty and just the perfect girl you’ve been waiting for.

But is this new relationship leaving you confused and low on confidence?

She tells you she loves you, but the way she behaves seems otherwise. Is she using you?

Every now and then, you may meet a girl who seems to fit snugly into the dream definition of a perfect girlfriend.

But if you ever feel a flicker of confusion in those first few weeks, chances are, she’s using you or she’s just put you on her waiting list until she makes up her mind.

Is she using you? – The signs

It’s frustrating to realize that you’re being used, even when you’re trying to be a great boyfriend or a sex buddy. [Read: How to be a good boyfriend]

She may try to convince you that she truly loves you and wants to be with you, but five minutes later, her behavior may change and she may just act friendly all over again.

Ever been there? Read these signs to find out if she’s using you.

#1 She wants her space… a lot!

Are you dating a girl who clings to you for a few days, and then completely ignores you for the next few days? While playing hard to get may excite a guy, this is pushing the game too far.

Every time she ignores you or pushes you away, you may find yourself falling more madly in love with her. On the other hand, she’s probably interested in a few other guys or sleeping with them, just to work out her options. When a girl claims to love a guy, and yet avoids the guy completely for a few days every now and then, there’s a good chance there’s another guy in her life.

#2 Behaves like a friend

Does your new girlfriend behave like a friend now and then? She hugs you and cuddles you, and then pushes you away and tells you it’s all happening too fast and she’s not ready for it? [Read: Why are women fickle in love?]

Ouch, any girl who behaves like a girlfriend but prefers to stay friends is obviously using your love and affection to feel better about herself.

#3 Her friends don’t know you

When a girl uses you, there’s a good chance you’re never going to meet any of her friends. But if you both do bump into a good friend of hers, does her friend even realize who you are?

And if you see her with a group of her friends and not one person recognizes your name, you’re in serious trouble of being played into a game of I’ll-suck-the-life-outta-you.

#4 You’re not introduced as a boyfriend

This is a no brainer here. But it’s something most guys in love almost always forgive and forget. Have you ever been introduced as just a friend? If she’s convinced that you’re the man in her life, she’d proudly display you like a primped up puppy in a dog show. But if she’s just using you, there’s a very good chance that you relationship status will remain as friends.

#5 She’s confused about your relationship status

Now she may be genuinely confused about the kind of relationship both of you share, especially if she’s just broken up with her guy or is still in a relationship with some other guy. But the point is she’s confused.

If she truly does love you, there’s nothing to be confused about unless she’s still in love with another guy. If that’s the case, you’re not the winner here. You’re the scapegoat filling up the blanks when her boyfriend or another guy doesn’t have the time for her.

#6 She talks about her complicated love life

Do you spend more time consoling her or telling her how the mistakes in her life aren’t really her fault? Girls who end up using guys are confused women who want to be reassured and loved all the time. She may be losing the love of her own guy, and may want you to reassure her about her own relationship and fill her life with happiness and extravagant gifts. [Read: Should you talk about your exes?]

And yes, she wouldn’t mind cuddling up with you once in a while for all the nice things you’ve been doing for her. This is seriously messed up!

#7 She makes out but only when she wants to

You may sweet talk her and take her out to expensive dinners, all in the hope of getting some love and appreciation back from her. And of course, a little bit of making out too. [Read: How to make out with a girl]

But if you’re in love with a girl who’s using you, nothing really matters. She’d let you dance on hot coals almost all the time and make out with you only when she feels like it. She initiates it and she ends it, at her whims.

Her excuse: I’m still confused about my feelings for you/for my own boyfriend/the three other guys in my life.

#8 She dominates the relationship

Does she call you up whenever she feels like it, or asks you to meet her at her whims and fancies? A girl who throws her weight around a guy knows she’s already got him wrapped around her little finger. Don’t ever be that guy. You’d end up shattered almost all the time and you’d lose all the confidence you have.

Turn the table around and throw her around a bit. Two things can happen here. She’d take you more seriously, or she’s walk out of your life. Either ways, it’s a good thing for you.

#9 She wants you to listen, but not the other way around

Are you in love with a girl who loves talking about her own life and her little problems? Does she tell you about how bad her ex boyfriend was and why she had to cheat on him just to show him she has other options? Or does she confess to you about making out with a few other guys and wants you to tell her she’s not wrong and that she did the right thing?

And on the other hand, every time you try telling something to her, does she forget all about it or feign drowsiness?

A girl who only wants to talk and feel good about herself isn’t in love with you. She’s using you as a priest to feel good about her own shortcomings. If she did love you, she’d be more interested to know about you and your life than whining about her own guilty confessions. [Read: How to tell if a girl likes you]

#10 She’s in another relationship

Almost always, relationships where the guy is being used starts off with conversations about complicated love lives. The girl you like may already be in a relationship, and with each conversation you have, both of you may fall more in love with each other. She wants to go out with you, she loves to talk to you, and she can’t wait to spend time and make out with you.

But she doesn’t want to leave her own boyfriend or end her relationship with him. She tells you she’s not happy, but she doesn’t do a thing about it.

If you find yourself experiencing any of these signs that you’re being used, you better walk out of the confusing affair before you end up with a broken heart. After all, she’s probably got a few backups with whom she’s playing the same game anyways. [Read: How to get a girl with a boyfriend]

She may not do this intentionally just to hurt you, it’s just that she’s a selfish little cutie who cares more about her own happiness than anything else in the world.

Is she using you?

So what do you do about it now that you know she’s using you?

You have two options.

Walk out of her relationship drama before you get hurt.

Lose the love and just start using her back. With any luck, by removing love out of the equation, there’s a good chance you’ll behave more like a bad boy instead of a lost puppy and make her desire you a lot more! [Read: How to be a bad boy]

[Read: Is she the one for you?]

It’s easy for a girl to use a guy because both sexes are used to the ritual of a guy pursuing the girl. Sometimes, she may reciprocate and fall in love. At other times, she may just end up using you. So what do you think, is she using you?

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42 thoughts on “10 Sure Signs the Girl You Like is Just Using You!”

  1. corbin says:

    My thing is idk if i should pursue this friendship with this girl that all of a sudden decided to come back in my life. Her original words were that she was to remain friends and that discussion was prior to the 8 months she was with her now ex bf. My problem is i think that her mom was being truthful the whole time. Or just being overprotective only because she is the baby in the family. The mother barely talks to me either.

  2. Nick says:

    Thanks a tonn guys……helped alot ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. LR says:

    Truth is, men hate being used. It destroys their manhood.

  4. John says:

    Lol wow like 7 to 8 things on that list apply to my situation thanks a lot for the help. Time to move on!

  5. Kirby says:

    I have a latin girl friend and she is making our relationship very difficult. She speaks only Spanish when her friends are around and ignores me completely then. She wants lots of space and spends most of her time with her friends. Affection is rarely shown and kissing and hugging is rejected quite often. On a holiday in South America she pushed me away when I tried to kiss and hug her and wanted me not involved in conversations. It was claimed I am not part of the family and it is not my business. The next day she spoke all night, not one word to me. Now she left me here on my own since 4 days and I have not heard a word.

  6. Kieran says:

    This is EXACTLY what has been happening to me for over 4 months. I didn’t see the signs, or maybe i just didn’t want to see them. It ended with her screwing me over terribly. Right in front of me with another guy. As if to spite me. Now reading this i know for the future. Thanks!

  7. Nicholas says:


    I have an interesting question. I am an eastindianguy and very calm n sincere in nature. Now I have one white n hot girl that I met online site. She used to be a service girl but than left it. I find something in her I told her that dont do the business. I will take care of the money. I told her that u dont have to worrk for it n this is just a help as a friend to give u a chance to live a normal life. She aggreed and we met twice a month. She work for it. I said yes n I give her like 400 per visit to hlp her out with the rent n grocery stuff. .we had a great time n all i wanted to be her special friend n keep her happy ro ease her journey out of the trade.

    I also wanted to spend lil quality time out side the room. I bought her many gifts (expensive one) just to show her that her life n body is precious and it should not be for the j**ks.

    The thing is she does not want to spend time outside. I mean just a friendly hang out n i dont want sex from her in return but just to keep her smiling n happy. I mean i agreed to meet her in a room n still giving the same monsey for it without even having a kiss. I was so happy that she is on the right tract n did not mind the money.

    I gave all the emotional n financial support as i knew she can be a great woman. she never gets ready to meet me outside just as a friend because she is super busy for it but ask me to hang out for a night.

    She has not bought a single dam coffee for me. I dont care about it. I am only concerend that i am not wasting my time n money in a selfish girl. I am a rilch guy n dont care about the money but i respect my money and dont like to flush it down the toilet. I dont know if i should keep helping. Is it her past that makes her such? Or just plain using me.

    One more prospect. She recrntly agree to act as my gf for one day at my work place as i screwed up there but its a different story. Is she really doing it for me as my appriciation or just doing to keep me?

    I know the answer but I told her that I would be herfriend and I will do everything I can do to get you out of the trade n substance abuse. She may be using me but I know for sure that she is not doing it anymore via my sources. I dont know how to convince my heart that she is using me. It just keep reply that u dont become a friend only to get something out of it always.once a friend always a friend. Pls help me out..sorry for my bad english as well.

  8. Nice_guys_realize_last says:

    I can’t believe some of the things I read on this site…not because they seemed outrageous but because I’ve dealt with all this and had to do it alone due to being married and not having anyone to talk to about this. The woman I am with has charmed my family & my friends and has done a fair part in the relationship about keeping up appearances and represented us well.
    However although she has not cheated on me (she’s just not that alive) I think I have felt like there is a definite mental cheating going on, kinda how you mentioned that women can cheat in different ways (I hope you will do a piece on that because men get a lot of flack for this and yet women also cheat in their own way and emotionally more damaging at times)..
    Anyway..can’t believe I’m seeing thoughts I have fought with every single day to tell myself it’s just a phase or something & now I have to sit up and take notice. Truth is I still have the same feelings for her since the day I first met her, like the day I married here and still want to believe we can work together on this. But lately I’ve felt like a crazy person because I cannot seem to get her to accept anything is wrong and yet I cannot talk to anyone about this but her..I guess I can’t do this to myself..she has never really loved me.

  9. Benito Camelo says:

    Wow! It’s just the same as my situation… She’s crazy about another guy and she’s messed my head. I feel so stupid for liking her, I thought she was different. :-/

  10. Richard says:

    Oh shit..when i saw :#10 She

  11. Eugene Parker says:

    You know what I where just in a relationship with girlfriend for about three years just this past week when she where in north dakota a few months ago I can tell the changes in her conversation that someone else had started to come here life she said that she wanna to be friend before the job in north dakota started we where talking about get married and everything but I haven’t heard from her about three days now.

    Right out of the blue she wanna to end the relationship I guess for her next sucker she have been lying to me the hold time. I dont care if she know it of who maybe the next man can see this befor he spends a lot of money on her. Her name is R****** C******* from Wilmington Delaware. I have doing everything that I could for her she started to make excuses while she thought that the relationship want work she said she didn’t feel happy been around me anymore that she couldn’t be her self when she where with me she is a libra confusing as hell she where calling me a little bit then everything stop but in my saying what go around comes around. I just want all the guys to know if you runs in to this lady keep the hell moving r****** c******* is a damn user, she is a charming snake.

  12. Dazling rishabh says:

    I love my female friend and she knowns that but she’s ignored this and did’nt talk to me after knowning that what should i do now?

  13. aron says:

    So my recent-ex gf calls me at 1am. She said she needs a ride to her hotel bc she was out drinking. So i take her to the hotel and were in the room. She’s been drinking, but shes not wasted. She’s talking about how she misses me etc. (She ended the relation ship fyi) She starts talking about maybe we can try again etc. She starts trying to get intimate, when theres a knock at the door. This continues for about 5 minutes, and whoever is knocking obviously wants to make their prescence known. She just sits there, and I ask her if she had called anyone else. She just says “no”. I ask her if she’s going to go see who it is, and she just shrugs it off and says “its probably just some drunk f*&k knocking on the wrong door.” So i get up and look through the peep hole, and its some other guy. He’s dressed nicely, and sober. He is completely taken off guard when i answer the door, obviously wasnt looking for a guy. He apologized and walked away. I was very upset, especially since she just spent the last 30 minutes pouring her heart out to me, when I suspect she had called another guy over at some point before she got ahold of me. I asked her again if she called someone else over, her response was not very vindicating. I just told her I thought I should leave. She got all emotional and pissy, and tried deflecting the argument onto me. She’s called me repeatedly after I left. I have not answered or talked to her at all. Pretty sure I was being used and lied to. She wants me to believe that its a total coincidence that another guy showed up at her hotel room at 130am, sober, looking for a women (i gather from his surprise when i answered the door). Am I going overboard here, I don’t think so but I just want another opinion. I know shes been going out often since we split, knowing her she’s been with others since she dumped me. My plan as of now is walk away, and cut ties 100%.

  14. megan says:

    Shes using you because she doesnt love you.

  15. Essie says:

    FML. This is usually me. I’m a terrible person!! I’m starting to reach a point in my life where I’m starting to realize the seriousness of the mistakes I have made and wanting to change. I realize post of these comments are coming from guys. Let me be the first to say I am sorry for the wh*** and b**** I have been and for others W’s and B’s like me. NO ONE deserves this kind of degrading relationship.

  16. JeffPro says:

    Guys – Girls want 3 things in a guy.

    Confidence – you are the MAN. You have to see it that way. You don’t have to be rude, or an ass, just be a man.
    Challenge – don’t be a slobbering putz
    and Control – Self-control.

    If you don’t have all of these things you are a tool to them.

    If you have all of these things you can get just about any woman you want. Practice, practice, practice. One day the practice will pay off and you will know exactly who you want, and you will get them.

  17. Sarah says:

    Girls should read that too, boys do the same things when using them…

  18. jonnysiew says:

    If someone’s actions do not match their words, then ” listen ” to their actions.

  19. Kman says:

    Hey guys number 7 was an eye opener. I have been on 11 dates with this girl. She enjoys good food and eating at fancy places. So I order to gain some appreciation and love I have been planning all the dates. Took her to some amazing places. Recently bought tickets for her favorite band. All I get in return is a bland kiss and a thank you. I have tried making out but had to back down as there was no reciprocation. I have been scratching my head in agony. Kind of feel stupid and dumb. I believe she is seeing other men and I’m just a peasant until the knight in shining armor arrives. God what an awful feeling. I put in everything to make this work and feel so cheated now. In fact I am supposed to meet her for NFL Sunday this coming weekend. I don’t even feel like going anymore. Trials and tribulations of a 31 year old single male in NYC.

  20. Mzi says:

    I had a quarrel with my wife about her not liking my daughter from a previous marriage even though I accepted and love her children that r not mine. Since that quarrel till now she has been denying me sex; It’s been almost a year now, I sense that she doesn’t love me anymore. May b she is waiting for the convenient time to dump me. She is keeping me so she can use me financially and otherwise until she is ready to leave me at a time that will suit her. What must I do.

  21. Jake says:

    These were some of the worst examples ever

  22. Jim says:

    My ex- is using me. That’s for sure. She dumped me and then ignored me for four months. Then she called saying she missed me, wanted to see me. I met her for coffee and she said she was leaving the woman she had been dating for nearly the entire four months we’d been apart — literally, was dumping her that night — and said she wanted to be together again. I hung out with her twice, had sex with her both times. The third time she basically talked about how depressed she is and how she doesn’t know what she wants, for the entire night, then went home and I haven’t heard from her since. Truth is: I still love her. But I’m no doormat. And either she decides she really does love me and starts showing me, or she hits the road and forgets I exist because I’m not investing ANYTHING in her until she gives me a reason to do so…which is what I told her. Believe me, she didn’t like hearing that! Hence, the disappearing act. It really is so sad, too. We could’ve been happy together but she isn’t interested in anything other than getting her needs met any way she can. Even if I took her back, especially now, she’d just dump me again. Why would a great guy like me who can do so much better sign up to be humiliated a second time? She still doesn’t get it though — I just feel sorry for her is all. But I can’t fix it.

  23. Benjamin says:

    Been seeing someone recently. Know she is living with someone who she insists it is over with. He shows her no attention and treats her like shit. Like an idiot ive been really good to her and weve had good sex and that, usually on her terms. I went away over christmas and she was really on my case all the time i was away, now she’s blowing cold saying she doesnt want to rush things. She will be really into me and the next moment she will say things like rushing her or trying to move too fast. The fact is im not, she has thrown herself at me sometimes and for me it should just he really simple. starting to think ive been played for some attention she isnt getting at home. Other things is she jusy could be confused.

  24. TMirrorP says:

    I have a sense of being used, and a a sense of pity/duty.

    After a somewhat abusive friendship with a girl, I met somebody who is nice. For that, I was happy. However several months of dating, which really feels like a chore, as I don’t like going to the movies or eating in a restaurant, I know that she is not interested. No kissing, no intimacy.

    I told myself that I should at least try to embrace her, and it was not accepted. My response, that I think she would be happier if were a dog.

    My conscious is torn, as I know she doesn’t have any friends in the city, but why was she on a dating site to start with?

  25. andres dever says:

    this why I don’t fuck with women at all. I cant trust a single girl because either one, they don’t like me back or two they act like they like me. just fuck women, I hate them and I don’t want to be bothered with them ever again…. its all hopeless

  26. Michael says:

    I saw a couple of things there that showed I was used and dropped after 4 months. The first being number four, she never introduced me as a boyfriend just as friend. Even though we were boyfriend girlfriend she didnt want anyone she knew knowing that.

    The number 2 behaves like a friend more than girlfriend. Never opened up her feelings towards me as i did her.

    Number 4 never introduced me to her friends.

    She broke up saying she never felt the same way as I did for her and thought of us as friends and wanted to remain friends. I chose not to because I was fooled and hurt.

  27. head of the dumbass class says:

    I’ve been used my user matches every description noted unfortunately I fell hard. I want her to know how I feel but I know she has know feelings of love. I’ve wasted the best years of my life on her. Anyone who realizes the game early on. Bail while you still have your dignity. Some fucks never change. If you think you can change someone. Your wrong. Find someone you don’t need to change. Love changes everyone except for lyers.

  28. Cheated and Broken says:

    I was recently dumped by a very attractive girl that showed signs of the #6 through 10. I blinded myself because early on she kept professing how much and how deep she loved me. I fell hook line and sinker. I fell in love with this girl and it hurt like hell when she ended it. I asked her some questions which she eventually answered. Oh and the kicker is, I work with her. I asked, of course, if there was another that her heart belonged to and the same time I added, “perhaps BJ”. She ignored the first part but said she didn’t care for BJ at all. What she doesn’t know is a very reliable source told me that she was visiting an ex boyfriend while running errands for her mother. Seems my source and this other guy are acquainted and the other guy still wants my ex and she wants him. She just didn’t have the decency and respect to let me know that they started talking again just before I asked her to date me exclusively but after we had been on several dates. She was hot so she thought she could do as she pleases. Shame on me for thinking she wanted only me.

  29. leonard kellow says:

    This is confusing. No signs except for sign #4 show up with this girl. I did go to her parents house and we slept in the same bed no sex so i guess she did tell them. Just she keeps it away from our coworkers (forgot we work together). Most likely cause three of them want her also. It’s just so confusing my boss says she will use me and leave me broken but i haven’t seen any off the signs. I have had an extremely abusive relationship once i don’t know if that could be causing me to doubt or not. Just need advice would like some help. I really want to believe she is sincere in saying she loves me.

  30. Rick says:

    Well come on down. my score 8 out of 10 of these points plus a couple of others not mentioned here? Broke it off last night with her and we talked about the possibilities of getting back together again this morning then I read this? Could lead to an interesting discussion now

  31. Rick says:

    Empathy is great but don’t if get in your guts on something like this!

  32. Rick says:

    Hard to believe you can be conned so easily. Fall head over heals, read something like this and still not believe she could do it to you. I had a session with the shrink yesterday and she basically lead me to the same points plus a few as here. And I am still a sucker. boy its going to be tough.

  33. Rick says:

    Will give it a try.

  34. Luis Mendoza says:

    i said it one time the inernet is greatest equalizer of all time for any subject be love,work ect you can,t keep nothing in the ,closet anymore

  35. Sennen Goroshi says:

    this is true.. for some reason.. I fail at this with some women but with some I don’t…

  36. Paul says:

    Ten out of Ten. Time to say goodbye!

  37. Ace says:

    WTF “Every time she ignores you or pushes you away, you may find yourself falling more madly in love with her.”

    I am the complete opposite.. every time a girl plays hard to get I go the other way. Games do not turn me on or make me want you more. I am sure that I am not the only guy that feels the same way. Being ignored does not make anyone fall in love.

    Attention will make you fall in love. More female logic. Obviously this was written by a woman because she has no clue into the male psyche.

    Please stop perpetuating the myth that men like games and being ignored.

  38. Melvin Genao says:

    Hey guys, I been with my ex for 3 years when we finally broke up, we were still having sex whenever we were horny. I was slowly using sex to try to get her back. Same as she was. Somehow after we broke up, through crazy circumstances I exposed her while she was drunk. I made her new boyfriend quickly break up with her and completely dismissed her.

    Moments later her new boyfriend/ex boyfriend added my number and exchanged words with me. It got worse! He told me they been together for 4 months while I dated her for 3 years and got a bunch of fake “I love you’s”.

    So she was having sex with both of us during every week for 4 months. N I never knew anything but it gets worse. She confessed that she cheated on me with another eX boyfriend. This time it was the father of her daughter. So she used me and to other guys.

    I made the right choice by exposing her.

  39. Bob says:

    They play you because you allow them to. They are constantly testing you. The guys that get hurt the most are the one’s that think they should be always nurturing. But they don’t want to be your mom.

  40. Endy says:

    This is exactly my present situation… Thanks for the help.

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