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Walking on Eggshells in Your Relationship? 18 Signs & How to Fix It

You feel like you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship and don’t know what to do about it. Here are the signs and steps you can take to be happier.

walking on eggshells in your relationship

When you fall in love with someone, it should make you feel complete – not like you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship. And when you stay in love with this person, you should feel wonderful every day.

If you don’t feel this way, perhaps, something’s just not right.

Of course, there’s always an occasional misunderstanding or a petty fight. But even though you’ve fought with each other, deep down inside you still know you’re deeply in love with your partner.

But what do you do if you feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time? Do you ever feel uncertain about the future of your relationship even if everything seems perfectly normal? [Read: Top 20 signs you’re heading for a divorce or a breakup]

What does walking on eggshells in your relationship mean?

The term “walking on eggshells” means that you have to be very careful about what you say or do to another person because they get easily upset, offended, or will explode in anger and lash out at you.

Think about it literally – if you were walking on real eggshells and trying not to break them, you would have to walk very, very carefully. 

When you put this into perspective with your relationship, it means you always have to tread lightly around them. 

Because of this, you probably struggle with knowing what to expect out of your partner. There may be times when they are patient and loving. And then other times, they might just snap and explode at you. 

You might not know what kind of mood they will be in from day to day or even hour to hour. As a result, you always feel like you have to tiptoe around them to find out what to expect from them at any given moment. [Read: What is a toxic relationship? 53 signs to recognize love that hurts you]

You’re always waiting to see their reaction before you decide on what you’re going to do or say to them. It seems like every little thing has the potential to make them snap, and they can blow things way out of proportion. Therefore, you’re always over-calculating everything when you’re with them.

The reason for this is that you don’t want them to overact and get verbally, physically, or emotionally abusive toward you.

When you’re walking on eggshells in a relationship, you’re always carrying a feeling of dread or hesitation when you’re with them. In a long-term relationship, it can be very draining and stressful. You don’t ever know what they way or when they want it. Things can change in an instant, and what seemed like an innocent situation can escalate into something toxic.

This isn’t good for your mental health! [Read: 24 sad signs of an unhealthy relationship that ruin love forever]

Walking on eggshells in your romantic relationship

A relationship completes you and makes you feel a lot better about yourself.

When you meet the perfect person who’s just right for you, you’d feel more relaxed than ever and feel more secure and happy too.

But do you feel that way, or do you constantly feel like you need to make an effort to hold the relationship together?

Some people have been in perfect relationships, and consider themselves to be loving and considerate people who know how to keep their partners happy. But these same people also have their share of insecurities and cases of jealousy now and then. And they’ve probably even had quite a few miserable breakups that took several weeks of tears to get over.

The biggest signs you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship 

When you’re madly in love with someone, you may not realize the amount of effort you’re putting into your relationship to try and keep it perfect.

Stop trying too hard to make your relationship work. Happiness in love should come effortlessly. Every now and then, take a step back and give your partner a chance to prove their love for you, and avoid letting them take you for granted.

Read these signs and if you’re indulging in more than a few signs, you’re truly walking on eggshells in your relationship, and need to back off just a bit. And ask yourself if you really need to be in the relationship anymore.

1. Constant worries

Are you constantly worried about your relationship status? If you feel convinced that your partner may walk out on you someday, and yet feel helpless no matter what you do, perhaps you need to call the relationship off yourself.

There’s no point in trying to live through the pain and confusion of not knowing if your partner will still love you tomorrow. [Read: How to fall out of love when you see no future together]

2. Manipulation

If your partner tries to manipulate you into watching a movie or going out for dinner to their favorite place, well, that’s the funny kind. But does your partner try to manipulate you into believing you’re wrong or try to put the blame on you all the time?

If you fully know your partner is manipulating you, gaslighting you, and giving you the bitter pill, and you knowingly allow them to manipulate and dominate you just so they can get what they want from the relationship, that definitely won’t help you. [Read: Gaslighting – What it is, how it works, and 22 signs you’re facing it right now]

3. Biting your tongue

Do you refrain from speaking your mind to your partner, especially when you feel like what you have to say will anger them?

Holding your thoughts back just to make your partner feel better will never save a relationship. In fact, it’ll only make your partner more dominant, mean, and annoying. [Read: 16 reasons why your boyfriend is so mean!]

4. Suspicions

Do you feel very suspicious about your partner’s behavior? At times, it may be your own insecurity, but almost always, it could be your instinct kicking in. When you’re in a happy relationship, there should be no insecurities or suspicions at all.

If you can’t stop doubting your partner no matter what they say or do, both of you are probably wrong for each other in the first place.

5. You’re not happy

Is your relationship leaving you depressed or unhappy? Why are you still holding on to the relationship? If the only reason you’re in the relationship is your fear of abandonment or the fear of loneliness, that’ll only leave you unhappy for as long as you stay in the same relationship. [Read: How to be really happy in a relationship]

6. Intense insecurities

Do you feel insecure or jealous if your partner speaks to an attractive someone? This may be your own fault, or at times, your insecurities may grow because of the way your partner behaves around you.

If you truly know your partner loves you, you’d never feel insecure about your relationship. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, but unless both of you can banish the insecurity, you’ll still be walking on eggshells in your relationship for a very long time.

7. Your partner’s flaws

A relationship is all about growing together. Both of you need to reveal each other’s flaws so both of you can become better individuals and a much better couple. Do you constantly overlook your partner’s faults or try compensating for them?

If you truly care about your relationship, you need to help your partner see their own flaws and grow out of them. Sweeping your lover’s flaws under the carpet will only make your partner take you for granted. [Read: Why people take you for granted – 16 signs and firm ways to stop them]

8. Decision-making

In a perfect relationship, both partners take all decisions together. How does decision-making work in your relationship? If you leave all the decision-making to your partner, you’ll end up feeling weak and powerless, which will only increase the insecurity in the relationship.

9. Eager to please

Do you always try to please your partner, just to win their affection? Everything in a relationship should be given and taken mutually. If you’re the only one doing all the giving, you’d end up forgetting your own wants.

When your whole world starts to revolve around your partner and your own wants take a secondary place in your mind, it may only be a matter of time before you start feeling like a slave instead of a lover. Voice your own opinions and treat your partner as an equal, not as a superior. [Read: The power of the words you use in a relationship]

10. You’ll do anything for love

Do you believe that you’ll do whatever it takes to make your relationship work or stay alive forever? That’s never a good approach to experiencing happy love.

A relationship is a mutual feeling. You can try to keep your lover happy, but if it starts to feel more like an effort than a pleasant gesture, you’re obviously trying too hard to keep the relationship together, at the cost of your own happiness.

11. Dependent

Do you feel completely dependent on your partner, emotionally or financially? If you feel helpless without your partner around, it makes you feel weaker and more vulnerable in the relationship.

When you feel unconfident in a relationship, it almost always increases the ego of your partner and they’d start to take you for granted. [Read: How self-respect affects your state of mind in a relationship]

In a perfect relationship, both partners should participate equally in the relationship. One person should never feel totally dependent on the other.

12. You’re not yourself

This is a sure sign of walking on eggshells in a relationship. Do you feel like you need to hide a part of yourself to keep your partner happy or win their affection? If your partner can’t like you for who you truly are, then there’s no point staying in the relationship.

Open up to your partner completely and let them see who you truly are. And if they don’t like the real you, chances are, they don’t deserve you!

How to stop walking on eggshells in your relationship

You might think that there is nothing you can do to stop walking on eggshells in your relationship. Well, it’s not easy to do, but you can take these steps. [Read: 20 steps to fix a toxic relationship and change before it’s too late]

1. Work on yourself

You can’t control what your partner does, but you can take steps to control your own behavior. The process really begins with you. Start by building your self-esteem and think about the areas in the relationship where you can improve your behavior.

The quality of your romantic relationship is at least somewhat dependent on your own mental and emotional well-being. Know, love, and honor yourself enough to put your needs first in the relationship. Refuse to play into their emotional abuse.

Want to enjoy more compassion and understanding from others? Try to take the time to practice more compassion and understanding towards others too. Want to be better understood? Try to be more understanding. [Read: How to love yourself – The 23 best ways to find self-love and happiness]

2. Improve your communication skills

Lack of good communication skills can cause a lot of problems in relationships. If the two of you are not communicating effectively with each other, then you both can feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

When you talk to your partner, think about your tone of voice and your body language. Don’t raise your voice or withdraw from the situation. Instead of making up stories in your head about what you did “wrong,” ask your partner directly to tell you. 

Ask things like “Why are you angry with me?” or “Is there a problem here? What is it?” or “Are you okay?” or “Did I do something wrong?” This will open the door to an honest discussion. But it needs to be calm and rational for it to be effective. [Read: Communication exercises for couples – Easy games to be a better lover]

3. Set boundaries

Since you are tired of walking on eggshells in your relationship, it’s time that you set boundaries. Talk to yourself and determine what you are willing to tolerate and what you aren’t. Learn how to detach from a situation when it gets out of control.

Refuse to take the blame for something when it’s not your fault or you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s important to know your limits and set these boundaries to protect yourself. If this is something you’ve never done before, it won’t be easy. And it will take your partner by surprise, but it is not only worth it, but it’s also necessary. [Read: How to set personal boundaries and guide others to respect it]

4. Establish new rules

After you have communicated to your partner how their behaviors are affecting you, then you need to establish new rules in the relationship. You need to collaborate and work on the issues together.

It’s necessary to help your partner see that their behavior is wrong and needs to change. Together, you can decide what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t. 

5. Get help

If you find that these steps aren’t enough, then it’s important for you and your partner to seek professional help. A trained therapist will be able to work with you both individually and as a couple to get your partner’s anger issues under control. They will also help you establish your 

Walking on eggshells is not a way to go forward in a healthy relationship. If this is how you live, you must get help and take steps to improve your situation.

6. End the relationship

If nothing works, then you might just need to end the relationship. But you need to understand this. A failing relationship isn’t always your fault. Sometimes, both of you may just be incompatible with each other. Instead of changing your life for someone else or bending over backward all the time, move on.

Of course, it’ll be hard. But once you do find that perfect person, it’ll be worth the effort you put into it. [Read: 50 simple relationship questions that will help test your compatibility]

Get off the eggshells and get on the green grass!

When you really want your relationship to work out, it’s easy to start making sacrifices for the sake of your relationship. [Read: 21 secret signs that your relationship is starting to go bad]

But as the weeks of sacrifices turn to months or years, you’d start to realize that you’re not helping the relationship get better.

In fact, you’re only making the relationship worse, because your partner wouldn’t know what’s truly on your mind, and you’d find yourself living a frustrating lie.

[Read: 9 relationship stages that all couples go through]

Instead of forcing love to work and walking on eggshells in your relationship all the time, just be yourself and let your partner see who you truly are. And if you aren’t happy, walk away. There’s far too much love in your heart to waste it on someone who will never love you back the way you want them to.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...