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Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend? 23 Signs It’s Time to End It

Sometimes we spend way too long in a bad relationship. If you keep asking, should I break up with my boyfriend, here’s how to know it’s time.

should i break up with my boyfriend

As much as we think relationships are perfect, the reality is quite the opposite. If you’re a girl who keeps thinking, should I break up with my boyfriend, you probably want some answers. We can do everything perfectly but sometimes, even our best efforts aren’t enough to save a relationship that’s falling apart.

Ending a relationship isn’t an easy thing to do. You may have to think long and hard about it for a while before doing it. But how do you know if it’s time to end things? How do you know you won’t end up regretting your decision to wake up.

It might sound like an easy decision, but it also takes a lot of guts and bravery to break up with your boyfriend. [Read: How to know when to end a relationship – 12 subtle signs]

Why would you think about ending things?

The truth is, nobody ever thinks about the day they’ll want to end things – until the relationship becomes so destructive and bad that you’re left with no other choice. Not every person is capable of breaking up with their partners, especially if you think of how much you’ve invested in the relationship.

No woman enters a relationship anticipating the day they’ll ask themselves, “should I break up with my boyfriend?” but it just happens. You end things because the bad outweighs the good, and no matter how hard you try to fix things, you just end up with more damage.

You end things because the pain becomes more than love – and that’s when you feel in your gut it’s time to end things. [Read: When to leave a relationship: 15 clues that shouldn’t be ignored]

Signs of an unhealthy relationship

People take so long to end relationships because they don’t know how they’re supposed to be treated. The fact that you’re even questioning if your relationship is healthy or not can be an indicator that your relationship isn’t on the right path. If you’ve experienced a toxic relationship before, nothing is fulfilling or nourishing about it.

A healthy relationship encourages you to become the best version of yourself, whereas an unhealthy one brings out the worst version of yourself. If you’re in a bad relationship and it’s extremely unhealthy, you may be asking yourself often, “should I break up with my boyfriend?” While it may not be an easy decision, sometimes you have to go through with it for your own psychological health. [Read: 18 signs of an unhealthy relationship you need to know]

Should I break up with my boyfriend?

Women like to feel justified in the reasons they end a relationship. We like to look for certain things that we can use when ending it. It’s not so much to win the breakup, but more along the lines of avoiding guilt and making the wrong decision.

Ending a relationship is a significant decision you shouldn’t take lightly, ever. If you seem to be thinking about whether or not it’s time to end your relationship, these signs might give you the push you need. [Read: 22 big early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]

1. You’re just unhappy

If you’re suddenly feeling like your life is missing something, and you’re unhappy in general, it could be your relationship. Of course, we all have our days where we’re just unhappy with life that has nothing to do with our relationship.

But if this feeling has been going on for a prolonged period and your relationship no longer gives you joy, it might be time to end things. Instead of being a positive thing in your life, it may have turned into something worse. [Read: 16 signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship]

2. You can no longer see a future with them

If you’re asking yourself the question, “should I break up with my boyfriend?” then ask yourself if you see a future with this person. In all honesty, this is one of the most heartbreaking reasons to break up with him, but it must be done. If you have stopped seeing a future with him, it’s for a reason.

Even if you can’t pinpoint that reason, the lack of a future is enough to break up with him. We’ve all dated a guy without a future, and that’s okay. It’s better to end things than to prolong the inevitable. [Read: Do I love him? 17 signs you see a real future with him]

3. Your relationship isn’t progressing

Relationships are meant to grow and become something wonderful over time. As you surpass each milestone, that’s proof that your relationship is getting somewhere. If nothing is happening and you’ve been stale for years, then it’s time to rethink the decision of ending things with him.

No matter how much you love him, you shouldn’t tolerate a relationship that isn’t going anywhere. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples need to go through]

4. You find yourself thinking about dating other people

While it’s completely normal to think this way, you won’t even have these thoughts if you aren’t secretly asking yourself, “should I break up with my boyfriend?” It probably means you know your partner isn’t right for you, and it’s time to end the relationship. This is your intuition speaking to you.

Listen to it! Your gut instinct is powerful in this regard, so don’t ignore that gut feeling that’s telling you something isn’t right.

5. You’re not being treated right

We can’t stress this enough, but stop ignoring the red flags for the potential they’ll change isn’t worth staying in a relationship for. This is precisely why many toxic and abusive relationships occur – because one refuses to leave, and the other keeps manipulating the other that they’ll change.

You don’t need a boyfriend who doesn’t give a shit about your well-being or happiness. You deserve more than that. [Read: This is how to teach your man to treat you like a lady]

6. You don’t miss your boyfriend when he’s gone.

If you’ve recently been apart for a while and you just don’t seem to miss him at all, it could be a sign it’s time to end the relationship.

No matter how long you’ve been together, you should always miss your boyfriend, even a little when you spend time apart. If you don’t, then something’s off.

7. You don’t care to talk to them much anymore

I know the beginning of the relationship is filled with lengthy conversations because you’re getting to know each other. But even after the honeymoon phase, you should still enjoy talking to your boyfriend.

It’s really tough when the substance and a portion of the chemistry fade in the relationship, but they should be your best friend above all. You’d never get tired of talking with your best friend, right?

So if you don’t feel like talking to him anymore, something clearly isn’t right in your relationship. [Read: 15 reasons you’re bored with your relationship]

8. They annoy you more than they make you happy

If every little thing they do annoys you – especially if it used to be cute and endearing – it’s time to break it off. This shows that you’re not compatible, and they’ll only end up irritating you more as time goes on.

The right person should make you happy more than annoy you. Granted that our partners can be very annoying at times, but your love for them should compensate for that.

9. You no longer share the same values and beliefs

If you’re constantly asking yourself, “should I break up with my boyfriend?” assess the values and morals you both share. This is a crucial factor that many people overlook, but you can’t have opposing values and beliefs with your partner.

You’ll end up clashing every single time, and it’s going to exhaust you to keep standing for your beliefs. It’s not as if people completely change their values and beliefs, but if you find that over time you’ve discovered certain things about their beliefs just don’t line up with yours, it’s time to end it.

10. You can’t be yourself around him

This is the biggest reason to end the relationship. I don’t care if you get along great and he makes you feel loved. If you can’t 100% be yourself with him, you need to end it.

Unless you want to eventually lose yourself because of trying too hard to be someone you’re not, then you have to end things. You can’t be in a relationship where you’re always hiding who you really are – it’s as simple as that. [Read: 15 types of toxic relationships you need to avoid]

11. You no longer feel the desire to do anything for them

You don’t want to make them breakfast, give them massages, or even have sex with them. When all of those desires go away, what’s left? Sex isn’t the basis of a relationship, but desire is.

Without desire in the relationship, you won’t be holding on to anything else significant. When those no longer appeal to you, it’s because you don’t care anymore. If you’re asking yourself, “should I break up with my boyfriend?” watch for the desire you have left for him.

12. You don’t even have the energy to argue with them

This is a huge sign you’re basically over him already. When you want to argue but just don’t feel like it because you know it won’t make a difference, your relationship is kind of already over.

This is where the notion of even a little fighting is healthy – in cases like these. You see this all the time in failing relationships and marriages; where one stops trying to argue because they no longer care enough. [Read: How to successfully deal with arguments in relationships]

13. You don’t have anything nice to say about him to anyone

If you can’t think of kind things to tell people about your partner, you should end the relationship. Clearly, there isn’t much reason to stay if you can’t even think of a few good things about the relationship or the person in general.

This should be common sense, but you should like your partner as a person. If you can’t think of anything, then you’ve come to the point where the bad clearly outweighs the good.

14. You see more flaws than positive attributes

We all have flaws, and we see more of them as time goes on. However, if it’s meant to be between you and a boyfriend, those flaws will be masked by their positives.

We’re not saying you should see the good all the time in your boyfriend, but his flaws should never outweigh his weaknesses and flaws. Their flaws are obviously something you can’t handle, and you shouldn’t have to. [Read: 12 reasons why so many couples drift apart over time]

15. You just don’t love him anymore

This is the toughest reason to end it because there really isn’t a major event that made you want to end it, and you can’t really describe what happened. You just don’t love him anymore.

You’re not a bad person for feeling this way as it’s part of life to fall out of love with someone. Life can get in the way, and it’s sometimes out of our control. The best thing to do is break it off so you can both find the right person meant for you. [Read: How to know if you’re not in love anymore]

16. You keep breaking up and getting back together

Let’s admit it- on and off relationships are only cute in the movies. In the real world, they’re just exhausting and somewhat toxic. If you still find this cute, then you’ve never experienced this firsthand.

If you keep asking yourself, “should I break up with my boyfriend?” then assess whether you keep breaking up and getting back together again. Maybe it’s time to end the relationship, for good this time. [Read: On-off relationship: All the reasons why you should never be in one]

17. The effort is one-sided

If your relationship is one-sided, then it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship. You can’t be in a one-sided relationship because even if you don’t end up breaking up with him, you’ll have feelings of resentment and anger for him.

If he’s not doing anything about this, then it’s not worth staying for. Stop falling for potential and let yourself see the reality of the situation. [Read: 12 hidden signs of a one-sided relationship we all choose to ignore]

18. There’s a lack of trust

Trust is the foundation of your relationship – or at least, it should be. If there’s no trust, then how else are you going to develop a relationship together? Without trust, then there’s no respect and obviously, there’s no love.

Your entire relationship falls apart if there’s no trust so basically, your entire relationship depends on that one factor. Also, ask yourself why you can’t trust him? [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]

19. They aren’t meeting your needs

Your physical, emotional, and mental needs are all significantly important, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you’re asking yourself, “should I break up with my boyfriend?” then assess how your needs are being met.

Is he attentive to your needs, or does he dismiss them? If he invalidates your needs as if they don’t matter, this isn’t a guy you deserve to be with – not even close. [Read: The 9 big emotional needs in a relationship that hold it together]

20. They’re toxic

If he’s manipulative, abusive, or toxic in any way, then drop him. You’ll find others so much better than your boyfriend. A toxic relationship will destroy you in unexplainable ways, and it’s not a trauma you can just bounce back from.

Even after years it’s over, it’s still hard to recover so while it’s early and while you’re not yet stuck, walk away. Don’t try to save him or feel sorry for him because it’s no longer under your control. [Read: 15 signs of a toxic relationship that’ll go from bad to worse]

21. You grew apart

One of the most heartbreaking things is when you grow apart from the person you thought you’d grow old with. If you’re asking yourself, “should I break up with my boyfriend?” then watch how you’re growing – both individually and as a couple.

If your growth is going in two separate directions, then start re-evaluating your relationship. This sucks, but it’s all part of life and it does happen. We can’t always control the direction of our growth. [Read: 10 clear signs you’re growing apart and don’t realize it]

22. He doesn’t see you as an equal

If he no longer sees you as a partner or equal *or perhaps he never did,* then this isn’t a relationship you should be tolerating. A power struggle is difficult to manage in a relationship.

If he even feels the slightest bit inferior to you, it’s possible he’ll attack your insecurities and put you down. Whether it’s making more money than him, being more successful than him, or just being more than him, he won’t support you – and maybe he never will. [Read: 14 ways to overcome power struggles in a relationship]

23. You’re both using the relationship to fill a void

This reason sucks big time, but some people get into a relationship just to fill a void. If this is the case for either or both of you, you need to end the relationship.

This is also what likely leads to co-dependent relationships so it’s never a healthy relationship, to begin with. A relationship will never complete you -it can only complement the happiness you’re already able to bring within yourself.

[Read: Why relationships fail: 25 reasons why love can fall apart entirely]

So, should you break up with your boyfriend?

If the majority of the 23 things on this list is something you resonate with, it might be time to break up with him and have the talk. It’s not easy, we know. But you’ll never find yourself in the relationship you deserve if you stay in the wrong one.

It’s never an easy decision to choose to end things with the person you thought was the right one for you. If anything, it’s a life-altering decision. So if you keep wondering, “should I break up with my boyfriend?” the answer is probably yes.

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...