Add opposite-sex and stranger-to-your-partner into the equation, and you’ve good yourself a good chance of an emotional affair.
Signs of an emotional affair
An emotional affair is exciting. You get to experience the same flutter of the heart as you feel in love, but in this case, your partner isn’t around. It’s just harmless flirting, isn’t it?
Harmless flirting is good. It’s fun, it’s sexy and makes you feel more confident about yourself and your conversational skills. But is your harmless flirting with a colleague at your workplace turning into an emotional affair without you realizing it?
#1 Your behavior. You’re very friendly with this good friend of yours. But subconsciously, both of you keep some distance from each other when your lover is around. There’s more awkwardness and formality in your conversations when your lover’s by your side.
#2 Excitement. You feel really excited to share any new thoughts or ideas with this friend, be it your review of a movie you just watched or gossip about another coworker or classmate.
#3 You need to talk. Do you ever feel incomplete or feel like something’s missing when you don’t speak to your friend for a couple of days? Even when you’re on a vacation, do your thoughts drift and make you wonder what your friend is up to?
#4 You share your secrets. Do you share your innermost secrets with this friend? You may be sharing secrets that even your partner doesn’t know about. It makes you feel good to share such intimate details with your friend. At times, the idea of sharing a new secret may even excite you or make you feel more connected to each other.
#5 You want their attention. You get annoyed if you call your friend up late one night and realize they’re busy on another call with someone else. You find yourself feeling jealous if they date someone else, or speak highly about someone else to you. You’re not dating each other, but both of you like getting each other’s attention.
#6 It’s an addiction. You’re addicted to this friend. Both of you feel really happy to meet each other after a long weekend. And you feel like you’ve missed out on happy time if you don’t get to spend some time talking to this friend. [Read: What should you do when you start liking someone else?]
#7 You’re easily aroused. Do you get easily aroused when you’re having a conversation about sex with this friend? If you feel good talking about your own intimate sexual details with your friend and it somehow arouses you, there’s definitely an emotional affair in the air.
#8 Sexual tension. There’s a lot of sexual tension in the air. Even when both of you sit close to each other, you can clearly sense every part of your bodies that are touching each other.
#10 You want to make an impression. You always find yourself dressing up better when you have to meet this friend. You may not consciously realize it, but you always try to look your best when you spend time with your friend.
#11 Compliments. If you’re sharing an emotional affair with a friend, big chances are, you take their compliments pretty seriously. If your friend tells you that you look prettier with your hair done a particular way or that red looks beautiful on you, it just makes your day!
#12 You’ve found your secret soulmate. This friend of yours understands you better than anyone else in the whole world. And you respect your friend’s advice more than you care about your own partner’s.
#13 You make sacrifices. You’d be willing to sacrifice anything just to make more time for your friend. You could stay up the whole night just to talk to your friend after your partner’s asleep. Or you could leave your place and head to work an hour early so you can spend more time with your friend. You don’t realize it, but you put your life, love and your career aside just to spend time with this friend. [Read: Understanding your mind – To cheat or not to cheat?]
#14 Together time. You spend more time talking to this friend of yours than you spend time with your own partner. And even if your partner tries to communicate with you, you subconsciously push them away because you’d prefer to have intellectual conversations only with your friend.
#15 Fantasies. Your friend pops into your sexual fantasies all the time. You may be having sex with your own partner, but somehow, you can’t stop thinking about how amazing it would be to make love to your friend.
#16 Downplaying. Whenever you speak about this friend with your partner, you talk about this friend like they’re not important at all. You try not to speak about this person with your partner or you portray your friend as someone insignificant in your life.
Additionally, you make a conscious effort to downplay your friend’s role in your life, and you try hard not to bring up this person’s name while in conversation with your partner. [Read: 10 ways to resist temptation in love]
#17 A secret wish. Even if you’re in a long term relationship with your partner, you spend a lot of time secretly wondering about how your life could have been if you and your friend had met earlier, before you started dating your partner.
#18 Talk of partners. Your friend and you avoid talking about each other’s partners too much. And even if one of you talk about your own lovers, it’s only for a few minutes before the conversation gets back to how nice both of you feel talking to each other and having each other as such good friends.
Emotional affairs are extremely common. And almost all of us have been on the verge of getting into one without realizing it!
So if you’ve used these emotional affair signs and see that you’re experiencing almost all of them, it’s time to give it a serious thought, because as fun as they may seem now, it’s only ruining everything else around you. [Read: How to end an affair and completely get over it]
If you’re in an emotional affair with someone, you’d be jeopardizing your own relationship with your partner and may even start picking flaws in a perfect relationship. So now that you know you’re in an emotional affair, what do you want to do?
There are just two things you can do in this crossroad. Break up with your partner. Or end the emotional affair. These emotional affair signs don’t lie. Now it’s time to stop lying to yourself and make that decision, before it’s too late.
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After moving to the outskirts of NYC to validate her dreams a few years ago, Francesca Marie is now working on bringing her dreams to life. And when she’s not...