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How to Stop Lying to Yourself and To Your Partner

how to stop lying

Ever feel like you lie a lot for no apparent reason? If you’re a serial liar, learn how to stop lying to the people that matter by using these tips. By Bella Rayne

It’s alright to lie.

Sometimes, a white lie can be better than the harsh truth.

Almost all the time, lying is an easier and safer alternative.

As long as you know how to manipulate the truth, lying can feel so good. And easy!

[Read: Should you ever confess to cheating on your partner?]

It can make you seem more innocent, nicer and a generally nicer person.

But what starts off as a little white lie now and then could turn into something deeper and darker when it goes out of control.

How to stop lying

Lying is a habit that’s not something to be ashamed of.

It can hurt when your partner catches you lying, but the only reason you’re doing it is because you want the easier way out.

Lying to someone you care about will save you a few explanations, but it’ll lead to you feeling guilty all the time.

If you want to lead a better life, you really need to free yourself from lies.

Wouldn’t it be better if you could just tell the truth and feel good inside instead of concocting lies and swirling several other lies out of thin air just to protect the first lie?

All said and done, is lying even worth it when it only makes you feel worse?

If you want to know how to stop lying to yourself, your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife, or just about anyone else that matters to you, you need to get to the bottom of your lies and understand where all your lies begin.

Understanding the world of lies

People lie for a lot of reasons, but there are a few times when your lies could affect your life in more ways than one.

When you lie, do you try to convince yourself that what you’re saying is the truth? If you cheated on your partner because you were horny, do you tell yourself that it was because your partner neglected you? [Read: How to confess to cheating in love]

Stop trying to convince yourself. Most people lie to themselves because they want to convince themselves that the lie is the truth. And it’s a dangerous game. Eventually, you’ll only believe what you choose to believe and you’ll start to erase all other thoughts that make you look bad from your mind.

On the other hand, do you avoid telling the truth because you’re afraid the truth will make you appear weak or vulnerable?

The different reasons behind why you may be lying

Here are seven common reasons behind why people lie compulsively. Do you find yourself agreeing with any of these reasons?

#1 It comes naturally and it’s easy. It’s like waving hello to someone on the street. You’re so used to lying, you don’t think before lying.

#2 You feel ashamed. You lie to cover up a few things about yourself that you’re ashamed about, be it your upbringing, your past relationships or something else. [Read: The right way to talk about past relationships]

#3 You don’t want to hurt someone else. You fear you’d break someone else’s heart by telling the truth. In most cases, you’ve done something wrong intentionally and you know that revealing your weak moment will only hurt the one you love.

#4 You don’t want to be judged. Some people just can’t imagine letting anyone else know their deep, dark secrets. If you live a secret life and don’t want people to judge you negatively because of your interests, you may end up lying.

#5 You don’t want to get hurt. It’s easier to lie than face the consequences of your actions. At the same time, you should realize that your lie may get someone else in trouble.

#6 You think it’s the easier way out. Telling the truth is complicated and very difficult. And the worst part, it could affect you negatively and make your life messier at times.

#7 You don’t respect yourself. You don’t think you have a genuine answer that’s convincing enough. You think you’re not good enough and no truthful reason you have is good enough to convince someone.

Ways to stop lying

The benefits of lying may be several, but it all comes down to this. Do you like the person you’ve become? Do you like lying to the ones who love you and trust you with all their heart? [Read: Signs of a good relationship]

If you genuinely want to stop lying and transform your life into a happy, guilt free and less panicky existence, here’s what you need to do.

#1 Understand the fact. Realize that the lying is getting out of control. You don’t like the fact that you lie so much to everyone, so why lie?

#2 Have self respect. Most liars don’t have self respect. They believe that the truth would make them appear bad. Believe in yourself and respect yourself. You’ll become a better person and refrain from doing anything that may force you to lie.

#3 Have moral principles. If you have strong principles and follow them, you won’t have to lie to anyone. Be your own judge and avoid indulging in something that you have to lie about. If you have to lie about it, you do know that whatever you’re doing is wrong, so why do it in the first place? [Read: How to resist temptation in love]

#4 If you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Learn to accept your fault instead of letting someone else take the blame. Sometimes, the consequences can feel better than the guilt.

#5 Don’t answer too fast. It’s alright to take time to think. Compulsive liars don’t think before they talk. Lies just flow out even before they make up their mind about whether they want to lie or tell the truth.

#6 Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Would you like to be lied to all the time? Wouldn’t you feel hurt if you knew that your partner is constantly lying through their teeth for no reason at all? [Read: The 80 20 rule in relationships]

#7 Talk to someone you trust. Tell a trustworthy person to avoid judging you and tell them your deepest secrets. If you can’t brave up to it, do it on paper, with an anonymous friend or share it in the comments below. You’ll feel better about yourself. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship]

Getting to the bottom of your lies

Why do you lie so much? In most cases, it could be childhood experiences or a life altering experience that convinced your mind to start lying. In my case, it was my angry, ill tempered father who always had an opinion about everything I did.

When I was a child, he would always yell at me every time I told the truth that I had forgotten something or overlooked something else. I learnt that it was just easier to lie than look like an idiot in front of him. And that stuck in my mind. A perfect lie could get me away from all my troubles with the slightest effort.

So why do you lie? Do you have a cheating past, or do you have one major experience that revealed the good side of lying to you? Ask yourself when it all began and find a way to let that old you know that it’s alright to tell the truth. [Read: Perfect things to talk about in a perfect relationship]

What happens if you don’t stop lying?

You’ll lose yourself. You won’t know who you are anymore. You’ll just be a machine that spews lies all the time without even thinking. And at times, your lies may seem so silly and fake that people around you would realize you’re just a serial liar and start distancing themselves from you. And before you know it, no loved one would even trust you or care about what you say because they’d be convinced that all you do is lie. [Read: Tips to deal with a complicated relationship]

Lying may seem like an easier way out. But unless you have no choice, learn how to stop lying, to yourself and to the ones who love you. You’ll feel a lot better on the inside and you’ll have better relationships too!

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91 thoughts on “How to Stop Lying to Yourself and To Your Partner”

  1. feeling low says:

    I feel rubbish, just lied to my sister for no reason, I told her my son wasn’t staying with our aunt but he is… Why did I say that, I am so cross with myself and I think my sister knows I lied as she won’t reply to my text or call. we get on so well and i just do not know why I lied. I am not making excuses but been through am awful break up and I just want to hide away from the world. I sometimes lie to strangers about that I do to make myself seen more interesting.
    I love my sister so much. I tell people what I think they want me to say to then even if that means I agree to things I don’t want to agree to. If one person says they like a certain thing I’ll agree but then 5mins later someone else might say they like something else and I’ll say that’s what I like too.

  2. can't bear myself says:

    Just got confronted about lying about all sorts of things. Assignment scores, game scores, even how I was brought up. Feel like my answers would be inadequate. Feel like my truth just isn’t good enough for the people around me. But it is. I need to slow down, think before I speak, and confess to my girlfriend if i’m about to lie.

  3. Conpulsive liar says:

    well i have issues on lyingto my boyfriend. And i lie about the littlest things. its at the point that my boyfriend is ready to leave me. what can i do to build the trust with him.

  4. Matthew Richardson says:

    I am 13 years old I can’t stop lying to my family and friends sometimes the littlest things I say that are lies are effective, I can’t stop I lie that my family are tall because I’m the shortest in my year group I lie that I have mods for games which I try to figure out, I think my friends James,Lewis and Tyler are losing trust in me, sometimes I don’t know why I’m created, I think I’m just a mistake for being created in life.

  5. Gene says:

    i am 23 years old and i have been lieing for i don’t even know how long. i think its cause of my mother and father, i mean like my dad always put me don’t if i said something stupid or if it was just something he did not see to be right and my mother was just way to easy. anything i told her she would believe, it was like taking a lollipop from a baby. Even going to school they couldn’t catch me in a lie. all through out middle school i was always lieing about everything and anything i could. i remeber one time i was pulled in to the office and the dead of students told me that i was the best lier she has seen. that i should just write story books and then at the age of 15 my parents left me to fend for myself and ever since then everything went down hill. i started lieing more and more and more until it got to the point where i did not know what to do. to this day idk how to stop. it just keeps on coming out. everything is one big damn lie. i have lost my greatest frind cause i can not stop lieing. no one trust me and i sit at home alone allday. i have lost myself and i dont know how to get it back. i have so many lies out there that i dont know what real anymore. I HATE BEING LIKE THIS….

  6. cant stop lying says:

    hi im 23 and have been lying for as long as i can remember. i do it to sound better about my life, to avoid fights w my girlfriend. i make up stories to get out of doing things and to get what i want. ive been w my girlfriend for 2 years and she is now ready to end it because of the lying and cheating that has happened. i do love her and want to be w her for the rest of my life. i have to stop lying its ruining my life and relationship with her. ive read this article and taking a few notes, im hoping this will help me i want to save my relationship and life more then anything in this world

  7. Jordan c. says:

    I have been known to lie about bs stuff like what im doing how i feel were im going and things like that im opening up because it has caused me to almost loose my pregnant wife and my two kids. Im ready to open up to her but im afraid of what she will think of me after i open up to all my lies. Our whole marriage is based on nothing but lies and im needing help on how to open up to her and be my self. If anyone can help me with this it would be greatly appreciated. Im the type that holds stuff in as well btw…

  8. Jemma.C says:

    Last year my husband found out that I had been lying to him about money. I had been lying to him about this for almost a year and when the truth came out t was such a relief it caused us to breakup and I was devastated and felt so bad. I promised hi. That I would never lie to him again and then tonite I lied to him it was about the smallest thing of me saying my sister brought cherries from the shop when it was me but I didn’t want him to get angry at me even though I knew he wouldn’t have I stilled lied. I hate myself so much for this and he said to me only 5 days ago this year is a fresh start and I won’t be taking any shit at all. He said if u tell me something is blue and its yellow we will be finished. I know exactly where he is coming from and I don’t blame him at all for reacting the way his has but I need help and need to know how to get it. I’ve been to a counsellor and that hasn’t helped at all. What other help can I get……

  9. Pakrick says:

    Thanks for sharing everybody! I really feel better now that i know that i’m not alone.
    My wife is a notorious liar! she woke me up last night watching tv; the tv didn’t wake me up, but the commercials did and when i asked her why we were listening to commercials, she said that she didn’t have the remote. Then i heard her put it down next to me. She’s a mean person too, she didn’t even mute the commercials either. I got up and left, then(still waking up) asked if she had just said that she didn’t have the remote, then slammed it down, she came up with about 4 stories about how she didn’t really have it, couldn’t find it, found it but turned them down, didn’t know what i was talking about…she’s like the article, she just can’t stop. She doesn’t wait, she just breathes a lie just like air, then lies about the lie.
    We’ve been married for 26 years, almost 27 and i just can’t take it anymore. I’ve already told her that we aren’t married anymore and she still won’t stop. She says she loves me but i think that’s a lie too. We are just together for the kids now as i’m stuck in a loveless relationship at this point.
    She lies every day, every single day, sometimes several times a day, so we never really have time to ‘patch things up’ and it just keeps getting worse.
    this article is the best one i’ve ever read as it covers so many of her behaviors.
    I’m afraid now too, because it says that the LIAR has to want to stop lying, and she isn’t even at a place where she’ll admit that she’s lying.
    it’s ridiculous, she’s college educated and very successful; i will see her do something and she’ll say that she didn’t even do it, with me standing right there watching her! it’s scary because it makes me feel like i’m living with a crazy person. How do I get through? she lies about everything anyway, it’s like i’m not even in the room. How do I talk to a person like that?

  10. at the end of the rope says:

    “Ask yourself when it all began and find a way to let that old you know that it

  11. Too little to late says:

    I honestly don’t know where to start, I’ve lied to so many people over the years. For no reason at all, and just recently I lost my girlfriend because of it. I didn’t wanna lie it just happpens without any thought whatsoever, I need and want to talk to someone about my lying but for some reason I don’t trust anyone, I don’t know why I don’t trust anyone I just don’t. But I digress, me and my ex girlfriend argued a lot about her.not trusting me and me lying all the time, yes I did cheat on her back when we were in high school but that was years ago were adults now and I’ve changed, but I lie so much about the stupidest things she doesn’t believe me but now its too little to late to fix I didn’t want this. I don’t need help just wanted to vent.

  12. not my real name says:

    Hello, I feel for all of you I really do. I see how after years and years of lies it becomes almost impossible to change it. I would have to cut ties with everyone move somewhere else and start again. It used to be just a few things but my basic life was at least straight forward. gradually i have lied myself into almosta completely new person with a new history. i’m exhausted. i hate myself and i only want to outlive the people i live so much so that they never have to know and i can die in relative peace. isn’t that terrible. those of you who are young and just telling silly lies

    please. you have time to not mess up your lives. however embarassung ir small thectruth feels. its great to be

  13. Lily says:

    I have been dating my bf for 9 months. I have lied about going to college,money,
    and my parents. I told him while I was in ny I went to school there but I didn’t .
    I got my high school diploma . I told him my dad was a lawyer but he’s not his family members are I lied so he would a accept me but I feel guilty and no it’s wrong to lie.
    My dad used to work at a lawfirm but he was diagnosed a skitsofrania and living in Bridgeport collecting social security and money from his rich family. I lied bc I feel harasses and sorry for my dad and I can’t change what has happened. I lied about money bc I was in a lawsuit and received lots of money from it but there was rumors of more lawsuits so I told him. But everything else I am honest about . I lied about those things specifically I know I lied I feel guilty. Am I a cumpolsi e liar or have issues? Bc I’m confused and idk. I lied about those things for a reason so I don’t understand ? Can you give me advice ?

  14. Larissa says:

    i have been lying to my boyfriend a lot lately & he caught me in a lie a couple days ago , but before this i lied to him & he,almost left me for it . I’ve been lying to myself as well ; he lives in orlando & I live in new port richwy . i really don’t know how to stop lying . :'( i know im hurting my

  15. New husband, same old liar says:

    I’m 26 years old, I recently got married to the person who has changed my life completely. But for some reason, after being best friends and telling each other everything, I now find myself lying over little things, and stupid things. When we have issues my lies can get out of hand and as much as I tell her and myself that ill stop I seem to do it without even thinking. When I get caught and confronted I only admit to it when she tells me she knows! I stick to it like if I could et away with it. I don’t want to lose her and what we have, I know I’m running out of time and is driving me crazy. I really want this to stop and I can figure out how :,-(

  16. ola says:

    Although I have been married to my husband for over 12 years, I have lied to him on many occasions. it started out with financial little things – bought a pair of shoes, lied about it being on sale for 50% off but it was 30% off. My mom used to hide purchases from my dad when we were little, and I also remember catching her once changing tags on a garment after she purchased it and returning it. As the oldest of seven, I was always to be the responsible one, and there was no room for mistakes, because I needed to be a role model, and the first impressions are lasting ones.

    When I told my opinion or the truth, I was yelled at, I was told my opinion doesnt matter because I am a child, and that I should do as I am told. I was not allowed to express myself in any other way unless they approved of it. The only acceptance and positive reinforcement I received was with academics, which I excelled.

    I went to a very prominent university where I met my spouse. I was very insecure and in a place of low-self esteem, and my spouse was there as a friend at the time, and encouraged me. He gave me support – mostly verbal, that I always wanted from my parents and relatives. I think that made me fall in love with him, being so giving and helpful.

    I realize that my childhood interaction caused me to become a people pleaser, and I would lie to make other people happy or to cut me some slack, as I was always overextended and trying to do for everyone else. I hardly ever took time for myself and when I did I always felt guilty. I started lying to feel some sense of independece that I never got at home, ironically, and I was always thinking in the back of my mind that my relationship would turn sour and I would need to fend for myself. My financial lies have gotten bigger and I kept trying to save face. My husband feels that this latest one – me opening a credit card without his knowledge and spending 300$ is small, but it is the last straw for him. I am hanging by a thread on our relationship and this is the edge of the cliff. The sad thing is that there are other things that I have not disclosed and dont want to tip it over. The very thing I thought would happen in reality is happening because of the lies. He is now indifferent and doesnt feel that he can trust me. I dont know what to do, i have been to counseling but I dont feel that it is helping. I know it takes time, but I feel like I dont have any time. I have a child and I would never want him to lie to me to save me any grief, but I am perpetuating the crap I went through in a different way to him. I have looked on several sites for information and hope that through Inner Bonding I can change how I feel about myself and know that I am adequate and enough as is, that whatever truth I share is important and I can be trusted again. I dont want to leave my spouse, but perhaps the absence is necessary for me to recover and transform into a new person.

  17. ashley says:

    my boyfriend is in jail..and his brother is as well and i wrote a letter to his brother telling him happy birthday and to keep his head up and i hope he’s doing ok. i did not tell my boyfriend about me writing his brother but his brother told him that i did and now my boyfriend thinks i lied to him simply because i did not tell him and hid it from him. I want to stop lying and hiding stuff thats so simple but i dont know what to do? HELP PLEASE!!

  18. Kirati says:

    Depressing Situation:
    I keep lying my Parents because of my boyfriend just because they are against our relationship.Whenever I want to meet my boyfriend,I lie my family that I am going to my college for some or other work or meeting my friends.Though I have heard that everything is fair in love & war but Practically A Lie Is Lie.I am a Sinful daughter of Parents & Family.I want to stop lie since in 5 years of my relationship with my boyfriend I have never said truth related to my love affair.Now Enough is Enough I have done many wrong things in my life.Now I really want to stop lying & want to feel trueness of my each & every relation without loosing my family & my lover.

  19. UMAR says:

    So hi, ive been on this constant lie rollercoaster forever now. if its not one, its another for no apparent reason whatsoever. thats what i hate, its for no reason. im lying to make myself sound more interesting and worthy of ppls time. i lie to everyone i love on this planet, especially my beautiful gf (who i hope to marry in a couple of years) , and that one hurts the most. My gf has such great love for me and i can see it in her eyes, yet im here lying to her about shit that doesnt have to be lied upon.I HATE IT. it only leaves me with zoo much guilt afterwards and my head starts to spin and fee like a spear is going thru my stomach. i love my gf soo much i just want to stop this already, to everyone i talk to its just to overwhelming me now. this is bullshit i hate it but i still go for it, im an idiot for that. this article help me, ill use these hints, God knows i could use anything at this point

  20. Lyla says:

    I was really slutty before I met my bf. I was desperate and I wanted a boyfriend, I was way too easy. I have a hard time opening up to people in general, thinking that they’ll reject me once I show them who I really am. Right before I first got together with my bf, I slept with this other guy just so I won’t get hurt in case my current bf rejected me. He doesn’t know about that and several other guys I’ve had relations with before we dated that I’ve denied. I confessed to him about a lover I had before we dated that I kept denying I had and he can’t trust me now. He’s caught me lying about watching porn. He can’t seem to trust me, which I totally get but still I never cheated. Once we were together, I haven’t touched anyone else, flirted with anyone else either. How do I get him to trust me? I don’t want to lie about my past anymore but there are just some things I don’t feel like telling him about because some of those guys are still my friends and it doesn’t really matter, does it? How long will it take for him to trust me again? Are we doomed? I love him so much. I don’t know why I have been such an idiot. I should’ve just been 100% honest about my slutty past because he would’ve accepted it. Now its too late.

  21. Lise says:

    Hello all! I have been in a relationship for about 2 1/2 years, married for 7 months. I recently got caught lying 2 days ago about where I was. I said I was at home when I was really at my mom’s house. I know it sounds silly to lie about such an innocent thing, but I always get b*tched at for using gas money that “she” put in my car, or just something else that I didn’t thing I was doing wrong. I hate it. So I lied to try to avoid hearing some nonsense. Got caught, then went through a couple of days of not talking to one another, and having to basically find somewhere else to live, and being stressed out about what I did to myself. I am now on my last chance. How can I stop lying when I am afraid to tell the truth because I do not want to be yelled at, lectured or judged?

  22. savannah says:

    I lied to the love of my life about my dad and a friend that was like my brother…and in the end he found out about it and broke off our engagment and now I have to proove I’ve changed to have anouther chance with him I’ve lernt my lesson and need to show him I’ve stoped lying for good I realise now why I lied and it was because I felt like it was my fault that my dad left and that my friend was hit…I’ve changed and lernt my lesson I just need to proove it.

  23. Megan says:

    I don’t know what to do or how to stop. My boyfriend of 2 years is getting ready to leave me. I can’t keep lying. I lie because I don’t feel like I’m good enough for him. That I’m not good enough for anyone. I lie because I don’t want him angry at me or to even be disappointed. I want to stop. I hate that i am this way. I’m trying so desperately to save our relationship. I love him. Please someone… Help me

  24. yousif says:

    hi all,
    i don’t know how to start!!
    i can sum it all by saying lying has cost me dearly!
    i lost my friends,
    i lost my family;
    and recently i lost my girlfriend, which the best thing that happened me in my miserable life; and all because i can’t stop lying,
    i ran away from everyone that i care about or cares about me and hid in an island because i lied so much i cant face them and still i lie to them: they know !!!
    i haven’t seen my mom for over a decade she has no clue what i do and still when ever she calls me she cries and she knows i lie; never once she told me to stop so she doesn’t hurt my feeling….
    my friend once collected a lot of money for me to continue my university education, collected by Mohammed a dear friend that i lost because i lied about me passing my courses when i was failing ….. i’m 34 now without a degree ……
    and in the darkest moments of lost and distance i found a great person ; she never asked for anything but the truth i lied to her so much for no reason ; i’m a compulsive lair; i’m so good at it ; sometimes i amaze myself how i can create a story about myself or a situation with no effort ….. i don’t think i lied to intentionally hurt someone but i did i think ! i can’t remember!
    and because my family and friend are far it was easy to ignore or feel ashamed for a short while and then it will all wash away …..
    but because my girlfriend was with me i just realized what i have to done to her because of my lies ….i drove her mad she loved like i was the air she breath she left me up like i was the king of the world she made walk on clouds she healed my wounds/….
    i repaid her with lies and lies and then more lies and cover ups
    i lost my soul
    i need HELP

  25. Con man says:

    I hate liars,

    This is made all the worse by the fact that I am a compulsive liar.

    I cannot remember a time when I did not lie. I am a better liar now but still get caught frequently. Owed a friend some money and though I had the intention of paying him back I never told my wife so when she found out after 4 years she is disgusted in me.

    This is not the first lie that I have told her and not the first time that I have been caught and I think this may have been the last straw, but I think this is the first time that I have been honest enough with me to be able to change.

    /i don’t know if my wife will ever trust me again but I do know that before I can ask for that trust I need to stop.

    Thanks to all those that posted above, I needed the push

  26. Why do I lie? says:

    Why do I lie? It hurts the people I love especially the one I love the most. It makes me feel so emotionally and physically sick when I do it. I do it even when I know the people that I’m lying to know the truth. I do it out of shame, fear, panic. I just revert to lying automatically and it’s for such insignificant things, stupid little things. I’m going to realize my biggest fear of losing the love of my life because I can’t stop. I don’t want to lie, I hate this! What is wrong with me?!? Why would I be so stupid to give up so much for something so stupid and unnecessary? The woman I love doesn’t deserve this! I don’t deserve her! My children deserve a better role model. I want to stop! Can I stop?

  27. stoplying says:

    I knew something bad is going to happen when I lied to my wife about having an early morning meeting. I had to cover up my golf game with my friends…she somehow knew that i was lying. It felt terrible knowing that i lied to my wife but i kept on saying that i had an early morning meeting.
    I dont know why i did what i did.
    I know that i am lying to her and feeling guilty…terribly guilty…but i did it anyway…
    and she just found out about my golf game and had a prove that i lied to her…it felt even worse …i still dont know what to say to her other than sorry…and i dont think she could forgive me and trust me again after this…i am so sorry….so sorry….
    I love my wife and my kids…and its true about what she said that how can i raise my boy and my girl and be a great father if i keep lying to her and to myself…I really need to stop lying…it is hurting my wife my kids and myself…

  28. anonnymous says:

    I honestly don’t know when my lying started! It was shocking reading this cause i answered yes to almost each and everyone! Wow i am a serial/compulsive liar! I feel so bad that this is what I am! I am determine and willing to make a positive change in my life and start telling the truth tho its ganna hurt a lot of people. I want to live life truthfully and not lie ontop of lie. I would like help please, cause I cant do this alone.

  29. anonnymous says:

    I lied to this guy i really love, I made up a fake ex and made up stories about him and my friends.. I think i did it so i sounded more interesting and more fun, but now i feel extremely guilty. I’ve lied to my friends too. I tell at least four white lies a day. My normal lies are quite big ones.. I just wanted to sound more interesting.

  30. Tammy says:

    My husband lies to me about smoking cigarettes. I don’t know why. It’s not a big deal. He’s trying to quit and I know it’s hard. So what? Why lie about it? And if he’s compelled to lie about something so trivial, what else is he lying about?

    My 19 yr. old son lies to me all the time. I have always been 100% honest with him. Why does he lie? He says it’s because he doesn’t want to listen to me nag about something he’s done wrong. But when he lies, I am more angry about the lie than what he actually did that he felt he needed to lie about. It hurts my feelings that he would rather lie to me than be honest.

    Lying to people who love you is such a strain on the relationship and terribly disrespectful. Being caught in the lie might be embarrassing but being the person who is lied to, is extremely hurtful and confusing, especially when it’s being done by a person or persons that you dearly love. I am completely at my wit’s end with both of them.

    Can you really love someone and still lie to them…or can you really love someone and overlook the lies?

    I’m soooo confused.

  31. Ronan says:

    I’m 29 years old and I can’t stop lying….. I’m getting married to the woman of my dreams you know the kind you’ve always dreamed about but I’m pushing her away I’m with her 4 years and she has a son who is 12 and I adore him but I can see it in his eyes that he doesn’t respect me because he even knows I’m lying they both even know when I’m going to lie my Dad always put me down when I was growing up and it developed from there. I’m afraid I am going to end up on my own. I’m afraid I’m going to lose them both. I’m so ashamed of myself

  32. Brad says:

    I’m 29 years old and I can’t stop lying… I have 2 children and want to be with the mother of my one child… I am constantly lying to her for some reason and I don’t know y. I love her with all my heart and I continually lie lie lie.. I want to stop lying to her and other ppl and want to make a better person of myself.. I want to change the person who I have become to someone I want and need to be.. I can’t stand myself half the time cause of my lies. So if there is any suggestions please feel free to help me out thank you

  33. chels says:

    I’m so thankful that I found this article. My boyfriend is a compulsive white liar. even if I’m standing in the room & witnessed him do something whenever I ask (usually to catch him because I’m so used to it by now) he will lie. It’s literally driving me insane to the point I just cry because I don’t know how to make it stop! The article described him perfectly! He will literally breathe out a lie naturally not even thinking twice. I’m truly ready to end this relationship because I just can’t handle the nonsense of lying over the silliest things. I’m going to read this article as well as some of the comments. I truly hope things get better because 80% of our days are wasted arguing over a white lie that was pointless in the first place.

  34. tom says:

    I am 20 i lie without i say what ever i think is right but comes out complealy worng way or with add ons i dont want or try or even no i lie i feel like im telling truth when someones says something ill think and find no its not true ….. had bad upbrining mother was a lier like everything she said useless anyway i can stop trying so hard like not esay when i say something and belive its true have to think of everything i no lieing is bad but why do i do it i have nothing to hide dont care what everyone thinks ill just say it

  35. pascal says:

    I lie to my boyfriend because i want to impress him. I like him so much and really value what we share. I lie about leaving his house saying i have somewhere to be, so he wont feel hurt that I really just need some space. I lie about understanding what he has just said. when I was clearly distracted. its become automatic. I feel like he wont love me if I tell the truth, which I know is stupid because he says really enjoys hearing truths about me and always appreciates when i share my faults with him. He is very sharing which is great . I put pressure on myself to share everything with him when somethings I write I would prefer to keep to myself. honesty is a quality I have always been drawn to in others (which is probably why Im with this man.) I am willing to try really hard to stop. I want to be gentile on myself but I have always found this a challenge because I want to be the best I can be. why do I find it so difficult to be honest with him?

  36. eek says:

    I lied about ex’s. I lied that time you asked me to tell you the last 3 guys I talked to on facebook. I did this because I couldnt remember and thought that was somehow bad because I only have few male friends and thought if i let you in on this truth that you would find me needy and unable to communicate with the opposite sex. I didnt have any real reason/evidence to come to that conclusion. I never want to lie to you again.

  37. Johnson says:

    I’ve been married for a little over 1 year and my wife loves me so much that she could share all that she had with me but I’ve never been so free with her concerning money and I have been telling one lie or another to cover the fact that I have been mismanaging my salaries and engaged in a wrong business at a time which made me so poor. I always feel ok with all these lies but I know it is not right. I really do not know how to break off with lies. Please, help.

  38. Anonymous says:

    i hate myself too the point of wanting too end my life, im 22 i live a depressing massive lie, i met the girl of my dreams, online we’ve been together for 5 months, i want too meet her & be with her for the rest of my life, she loves me with all her heart & soul!!! i love her with the same amount of compassion too & more, but i lie too her everyday, she even asked me have i lied too her i said about how i said i’ve been with 3 girls instead of the truthful answer of 1, the girl i lost my virginity too, who was 27 i was 17 we had unprotected sex & i caught a STD, my grandad pastaway on 25th december 09 about 2 months after i had slept with the 27 year old, i hid the fact of having an STD for about 3 years, i became depressed & suicidal, i had a few relationships but not more than a week long, i didn’t sleep with any of the girls, 1 girl i met in real but she ended it because im repulsive & 2 online i didn’t meet, i was at a point in my life where i didn’t see any other way out i tryed too kill myself

  39. Anonymous says:

    continued…i have hid everything from everyone, i love with all my heart & soul, i don’t know how too deal with my life, i told my brother about everything & he’s gonna try help me get better, but how do i tell the girl i love with all my heart & soul, & the rest of my family, my life is this bad?

  40. Joe says:

    It seems I have been lying for so long about some really stupid things and now the majority has caught up with me. My wife doesn’t trust a thing I say and I want to man up so but garbage comes out of my mouth then I have to come up with more half truths and the circle begins again. I have lost respect for myself and am getting pretty tired of it.

  41. Bree says:

    My boyfriend lied to me when we first started dating about his involvement with his married ex girlfriend. He regularly spends time with the mother of his child but tells me I’m the love of his life & he wants to marry me. He has a history of cheating on his ex partners & is known as a serial womanizer. He says I’m the best woman he’s ever met, I complete him, he’s a changed man & he’s grown up. I’ve never loved anyone like this ever & do believe him but still have doubts. Mutual friends who’ve known him for most of his life keep warning & advising me to leave. I’ve tried to end it to save myself future heartache but he won’t let me go nor do I want to. Can a man at 42 change if he found the love of his life? The last 10 months of being with him has been the happiest

  42. Bree says:

    Continued. He won’t allow me to tag pics of me & him on Facebook but tags the mother of his child whom he hasn’t been intimate in 6 years. Apparently she gets jealous. We’ve been overseas together. He has all his past sexbuddies & ex girlfriends on Facebook. Can I trust my boyfriend

  43. Mandy says:

    I’m 16, and I’ve lied about so many things to my boyfriend. I feel like the worst person ever because of how I treat him. He’s so sweet to me abd he makes me so happy. Out of the three relationships I’ve had, I lied. I’ve lied a lot more in this current one though.
    My boyfriend cares about my grades in school and cares about how my life. Recently, I’ve been getting weekly report cards to see my progress in my classes. My boyfriend gives me consequences for when I forget to get one, don’t get it signed by one teacher, or when I’m not doing well on it.
    I forgot to get a weekly report for last week, abd since I forgot, my boyfriend said I’m not allowed to message people on my phone, be it instagram, Facebook, xbox , kik or texting. What ever I can socialize with, I want allowed to private message any one. I was a only allowed to off it was important. He’s not being controlling, he’s just trying to help me and I know I need the help, so I didn’t mind it. He said I can private message again on Thursday. But from last friday to today, I did message people. Without his permission. I lied to him and said I didn’t because I deleted my text messages. But I feel bad not responding or saying anything to anyone. I knew I shouldn’t have lied abd I knew I shouldn’t have textured people when I want supposed to.I was in a Skype call with him last night abd he asked, ” well there be any messages in your phone when you shouldn’t be texting? ” and I told him no, besides the ones I told him about. Then he said, ” so, if I get a specific app that recovers your texts, I won’t see Abby from this pay week, right? ?” In my head I was just like ” oh no I’m so screwed. He’s going to be so mad ash me abd lose every bit of trust I just regained… ” and I said, ” well… I texted one friend because I needed help with a project abd another because she was going to court today.. ” and he got really mad at me. Before he askedme, I said, ” no you won’t find anything. ” But I ended up confessing to him about some, not even all the texts I sent.
    he is very mad at me and I’ve been crying my eyes out because of how stupid I was to lie. I hate having this issue and it all, I believe, started with my first boyfriend. I never loved someone this much, I know I’m young but I truly do love my boyfriend. He means the world to me and I need to stop lying to him. This isn’t the first time I’ve lost his trust, but it felt like one of the worst times of my life. I am scared and I dont know what to do. I’ll do anything to get myself to stop lying. It’s not worth it if it costs you a relationship with the person you love most.
    I’ve been with him for longer than a year. The sane night this happened, we were just planning out what wewantedto do together over the break. Now that he hates me got baking his trust about the 100th tone, he might just break up with me. I can’t handle that right now, and I just want to take steps to make myself a better person.
    I appreciate this help and I’m very glad I found it. Thank you <3

  44. Ready to stop my lying habit TODAY says:

    I’ve comed to terms with myself that I lie right off the top of my head. I’ve been lying for years and I can’t think of what has caused me to lie but I know that it started when I was a child. Just recently I lied to two coworkers. Looking back on the situations there was no reason to lie in the first place! I think I lie at times to exaggerate a story, to appear more interesting, competent or humorous. Other times I lie to appear that I’m informed of a situation. Other times I’ll lie just to keep others from knowing what I’m doing. I truly want to stop lying. I bet I look like a fool to my coworkers, friends and families who can see past the lies. I’m ready to make a change. I am going to start changing my bad habit by thinking before I speak or not speaking at all. I woke up at 4am thinking about lies I told two coworkers. I feel like I need to contact them to let them clarify my statements. I guess today will be a great day to start focusing on why I lie so I can begin a life of always telling the truth despite how incompetent I might look, how much trouble I’ll get in, or to exaggerate a story, etc. I bet life would be simpler and more fun once I start living a life of truth.

  45. I hate who I've become says:

    I have been lying for as long as I can remember. I don’t know how it started and I don’t know what age I started. But I have become someone that I hate,and it just keeps getting worse. When I was 15 I started dating a guy that was 22 and I told him I was 18. His parents thought I was 18 and my mom thought he was 18. I had lied so much that the person I was pretending to be had nothing in common with myself other than my name. After two months of dating I got pregnant and I was 16. I had no idea what I was going to do so I broke up with him and decided to put the baby up for adoption because neither of us could take care of a baby. I had panic attacks daily from being scared that someone would catch me in my lies. And then I lied and lied and lied. And the I decided that lying was so easy that I would start stealing and I stole at every opportunity that I could. This past November I got arrested for shoplifting and so many of my lies came out of the bag. Now I am in a relationship with a guy that is so wonderful to me and treats me like a goddess. But our relationship started out in lies and he has caught me in so many of them. Recently we took a break to to the distance we live from each other and I was really upset. My friend (who likes me) messaged me asking what was wrong and I told him and made a status on FB saying that he could always make me feel better and I tagged him in it. My boyfriend saw it and was pissed. He almost told me never to speak to him again. He asked me if my friend had flirted with me and I said no,even though he did. So my bf told me that he was messaging my friend and asking him. I panicked and ran to the computer and told my friend never to answer any of his messages. It ends up that my friend never got a message from my bf but I’m still freaking out.

    I want to tell my bf everything that I have ever lied about in my entire life, but I couldn’t live with myself if he hated me. I hate the person I have become and I don’t want to hurt the ones I love. I need help because I don’t want to be this person anymore.

  46. Tanya says:

    I have cheated on my boyfriend with at least five different guys
    I did it because I believed that he was cheating on me at the time and since then I have lied about all of them . . . . . ..

  47. Anthony says:

    I have a beautiful wife that has been by my side through all my lies and bs. Recently I lied to her about acknowledging fb messages. She caught me in my lie and now I fear she has had enough. She is really hurt and feels like I will never change. I have made a commitment to change because my wife and kids are the center of my universe. I am praying that my wife finds it in her heart to forgive me and give me yet another chance. I want her to be able to look at me as her loving trustworthy husband and not some liar she decided to be with and marry. I have truly learned my lesson and I am taking steps to move in a direction of truth. I am seeking therapy and started my “Plan to Stop Lying”.

  48. Robyn says:

    The last 4 years of my 9&1/2 year relationship was nothing but lies from my “soul mate”. He lied about things that he didnt even HAVE to lie about! LOVE ME? Even that was a big lie. I fell in love with an HONEST man who ended up being a liar AND a cheater……I was only fooling myself thinking he would realize that he was going down a very dark road. I wont be around to see him reach the end.

  49. Aki says:

    I lied to my mum that I am going to a company to get my reimbursement but the concerned person wasn’t there. So Instead I went to meet my gf. She was hurt and was asking me to see her. So i went there And cheered her up. But I don’t want to lie to my mum. My mother doesn’t know about us.

  50. Justin says:

    I am a 41 year old man and I am a lier. I have lied for so long to my wife of 17 years, my family and my friends(what’s left of them). I think I learned as a young boy to lie it was a way to get out of trouble or a way to hide who I really am. I am a sex addict and I hid this from everybody as long as a could but two years ago my wife caught me cheating. Of course I lied about it and I denied as much as I could but my wife knew there was more. Over the next year I slowly and cruelly told bits of truth just enough to take the heat off me at the time but I still lied by omitting the whole truth. Today we are separated but we continue to work on our relationship and I am working on recovery from my addiction. It is not easy to change yourself when you have been a certain person or acted a certain way for most of your life but I am going to do it. I know my wife loves me because even after all the years of lies and cheating ive said and done she wants to help me become a good person a healthier person. I am ready to stop lying to her and everyone else but first I have to stop lying to myself and that is the difficult part. I am lucky to have such a loving caring wife that is willing to stand by me and hold my hand through this recovery. I love you and I thank you for believing in me and not my words.

  51. Tyler says:

    I’ve gotten to the point in my lying that it’s ruining my relationship with my girlfriend.. Idk why I do it either I’ll just lie for no apparent reason and it’s so bad now that even when I am telling the truth she still won’t believe me.. I’m so ashamed of what I’ve become it’s getting harder and harder every day to live with myself.. My girlfriend is even starting to doubt if I really love her or if I’ve been lying the past 3 years that we’ve been together.. And what really sucks (besides her starting to think I really don’t love her) is that these are small lies like me going to my friends house and chilling but I’ll tell her I’m doing something else like hanging out with my family and it happens so often that these small lies are making everything I say to be a lie like the fact that I’ve never cheated on her or hung around other girls or done drugs (besides when I used to smoke pot) and now she’s starting to think I’ve actually done those things.. And it’s shit because she lives in a different state so there’s no possible way really for me to show her in person that I’ve chsnged for the better.. So no matter what I do like if I stop lying and start being 100% with her she still wouldn’t believe me.. Aghhh this is killing me and it’s ruining my relationship with the love of my life and if I ever lost her idk what I’d do with myself.. I mean being in a committed relationship for 3 whole years when it’s always been long distance is tough! I mean I’ve put my all in what we have so she’s all I know we’ve planned our futures out around each other so it’s literally impossible for me to think about a future with anyone else yknow? I just really need to chsnge my life style and choices and break free from this stupid habit before it breaks me.. Hopefully I’m able to and she starts to have trust and faith in me again but as of right now she has absolutely no trust or faith in me whatsoever apparently… =

  52. justplainevil says:

    I have lied ever since I was young. I wish there was a red flag that comes out of your ears to tell you that your mentally deranged and unwell. I have been living with the physical guilt and shame of telling people I have brain cancer. Everytime, ridiculously drunk. Where all my wonderful decisions I make happen. I do have some tumor`s but they aren`t cancerous. Everytime I read my MRI results, I would look into the medical terms and convience myself I had cancer. For attention? Because I am incredibly deranged. I`m pathetic and hope everyday to die. There`s no point in living when something this extreme is weighing me down. My mom has cancer and so does my aunt. They actually have it and I go and lie about it? What the fuck is wrong with me? I can`t live with myself anymore. I just can`t.

  53. Alex says:

    i dont remember when i start lying n how it started i want to stop lying but when i tell something somehow i become a lies i wish i can stop telling lies so i wont hurt anyone with my lie anymore

  54. why do i lie says:

    I am 17 years old and i cant stop lying to my girlfriend. Yesterday i told her that i have my drivers license and a car both of which aren’t true i don’t even have my freaken permit. Today she asked if i could give her a ride and i lied again telling her that my parents took my license and my car away because of grades in school. What the hell is wrong with me. I can’t help it and i really like this girl and i don’t want to hurt her. I just really wanna know how to fix this and the other lies i have told her without makin it worse. What can i do?

  55. scott says:

    I have been with the love of my life for over 2 years now and we had a massive row just over a week ago over a lie I told, this hurt her so bad and she wanted to end it with us, I promised I would never lie to her again and after a talk we sorted things out and I was as happy as can be, a week later I lied again and now she has ended it and says there is no future, I am so gutted its untrue, I don’t want to lose this girl as she is my world, the thing is they were stupid lies that wasn’t even worth lying over, I have been reading all the comments and am gona try and get some help anyway I can, this girl is my life and she is my princess so I need to make her feel like one, Tania if you read this, im so sorry and I love you loads xxx

  56. Jane says:

    I have lied to my boyfriend of seven years now. I was married before I met him. Yesterday i told him the truth. He was heart broken. All that he had to ask me was why did you take seven years to tell me this. I dont know. I never had the guts to tell him. We had a very beautiful relationship for all these years, we were deeply committed to each other and I could not think of losing it. I was selfish. I love him crazily and am unable to bear this pain. I do not know if he would want to continue his relationship with me. I feel so bad about myself for having spoil something beautiful. I feel bad for having spoilt his life. He is a very very nice guy. I am unable to forgive myself. I am unable to think of a life without him.

  57. Amanda says:

    i lie all the time to my parents to my friends and to my boyfriend but mostly to my self.. i lied about my relationships in the past about my family background about my life style, i wanna change but im afraid if i tell the truth everyone will hate me and i will lose the ones i love but they love me because of lies and i don’t want that anymore no more lies i’m done

  58. Bambi Valeriano says:

    Well here we go 9 years ago I met the wonderful women and we started hanging out everyday and talking on the phone when ever we weren’t together after a while I started having feelings for her that I have never had for anyone else I’ve falling in l love with her and it a first time for me. I didn’t know how to tell her we got in to a big fight and wasn’t talking for a while. One day my brother that I’m not ever close to got shot I went to Utah to be there for my mom the doctors say he may not make it thru the night so I told my friend the women that I love that he died. Without think about it that he MIT not died I didn’t think about that so he didn’t die and I’ve been living with it for a few years it’s the worst lie I have ever told in my life and I want to tell her the truth becuz she finally told me she loves me and I want no lies between us..

  59. gina says:

    I’m an unwed mom of 4 children, had my first born at 18 and him at 25. He lost his job so does mine so we moved to their province. (I’m an orphan so I got nobody to ask for help). I tried different jobs just to have food at the table, someone offered to give job to the father of my kids and he refused to take the job. That was where the last straw of my patiemce jumped out of the window. I had the chance to run away, so I did. Tried everything to continue my studies, earn a living but lost my job again. Now I’m jobless, I live with a new fiance, I lied to him about having my own kids because I’m afraid he might throw me out if he knew. My kids are now looking for me, I know they will soon find out where I am, so does my fiance. I’m lost, I lied and I don’t know how to break the truth about my kids, the truth to my kids and to myself. Help me God.

  60. Destiney says:

    I’ve lied to my dad about somethin horrible. I’m 17 going on 18 next month. Last month I was suppose to be going on a date with my bf, my mom was the guardian and the driver. She drove me and my bf to the movies. It was suppose to be “girls day out” me my mom and a friend “Samantha” That was the first lie. So we went to pick up my bf and we went to the movies my mom told me before the movies to not sneak off and do dumb stuff. So the movies start like ten minutes into the movies I held my Index figure up as if I said hold up ill be right back but I wasent I was in the bathroom doing nasty stuff with my bf. my mom noticed I was gone too long and came looking for us. I was walking out she sent someone in to get us. As I was walking out that persons that came to get us was walking In. Embarrassing I have no self respect for myself. So she drove us home. Dropped him off meanwhile on the drive home she said “this stays between me and you” so went I got home my dad knew something was up. Buy the way my shoulder were dropped. He said what’s wrong? I said nothing that was like the Third or second lie I told to him. He said don’t lie to me. So my mom said I caught her in the bathroom with her bf doing nasty things while Samantha was the look out. She wasent even there. That was the Fourth lie that me and my mom told him. I manipulated her so much so many times that she lied for me I feel so ashamed of myself. So yesterday I finally told the truth. Samantha came by my house and asked if I was there and he yelled at her. He thought she was at the movies with my mom and I. But she wasent and I told him that. He hates us so freakin much I just want to change my life around and become a better person and stop lying to my family and making my family members lie for me to cover themselves please help me stop lying like this. I’ve lost self respect and love for myself. I’ve lied to myself I just want to change my life completely around for the better. I want to live a positive happy non lying life to bond not only me but my family back together I need to change for the better please help me please

  61. MEV says:

    Hey – Im in a bad place. I am only realising I am a compulsive liar and I want to stop right now. Stumbled across this really good article and I am going to follow it.

    I have a wonderful wife and 4 wonderful children, I have cheated once on my wife and she found out and since its been tough on her and the relationship is up and down since. I don’t blame her for being angry as she is a pure person and I ruined something she really and true believed in.

    She loves me and does not want to spilt the family and gave me chances. But a silly direct question which i lied to (I find it quick and easy to lie) was the final straw.

    How do you tell yourself its okay to tell the truth, I really and truly want this to stop, i could be too late now for my wife as i would not blame her for wanting to end this, but for the kids and myself i need this to stop as i do not know myself..

  62. Rebekah says:

    My fiance, the love of my life suggested I might be a pathological liar. This led me to look into what that was..I have learned over the last few minutes that I lie when I’m going to get into trouble or make someone mad. I have betrayed his trust on multiple occasions and have found that no matter how hard I try I can’t stop lying. I feel so stupid!! I have destroyed something so important to me because I’m doing something I thought I could just stop. It seemed like it would be such an easy thing to do and I failed within a week. I need help!! I have no money for therapy. What do I do to make this stop? I’m open to any information or help Anyone can give me

  63. mike says:

    Feeling lost and hopeless !!

    I have found myself lying about stuff when there is no reason to lying . I am not sure when the started really .I use to be a very honest and trustworthy person . It is cause problems in my marriage with my wife whom I love with all my heart ! I dont want to lose her if i cant stop i just might . I do have,severe ADD and i am wondering if that may be,part of it ? I have been looking on several websites and there maybe some underlying issues …. I need help !!!

  64. Ben says:

    I’m 27 yrs old and have been a chronic liar since I can remember.. Although I learned where my lies have stemmed from quite a few years ago I still haven’t been able to stop or even slow down with lying for the most part.

    My lies stem from my upbringing with an abusive father. Mentally and emotionally with me and my brothers and physical with our mother. I would lie to him to not get my mom, brothers or I in trouble and found out a couple times that worked so it stuck in my head if I lie my mom won’t get hurt or as much and would usually lead to what I wanted. Well that didn’t last long. And caused more grief than it helped. You would think I should have learned not to lie then but didn’t and I started lying to neighborhood friends about what was going on at my house or about material things I didn’t have just so they think I was cool, like me a more,or hide from what was happening with the abuse but boy did that carry on with me through life and to this day. I still do it to friends about my life and material things.

    My mother stayed with him until I was 11. On the day (valentines day of all days) he beat my mom up pretty good and said he was going put her head under the garage door and slam it. He said a few more words after that like he was going to kill or something of that nature when he came back from the bar.. but all I heard was he was going t severally hurt her. I begged and pleaded with my her to leave him because I honestly believed he was going to. She was so brainwashed and controlled by the abuse that she was hesitant. So I lied saying my dad had threatened he was going to do the same type of thing to me, which is all she needed to hear. It was literally like she broke away from the brainwash and control in that moment. She called the cops and we went and lived with my grandma for a few years and that was last time I saw him by my choice. To this day that is the only lie I’ve told to where I feel no guilt from. She’s a great and awesome mom but had very little discipline growing up due to having way to much from my father and she almost always believes what I say. It makes feel horrible lying to her and I really don’t mean to.

    My biggest lies are to girls I find attractive and 1st meet. I know most of it comes from how I strongly dislike where I’m at life, the choices I’ve made, and things I’ve done but I don’t need too.. I know I’m an attractive, very kind, and faithful guy even though I have adult acne and scars from it I’ve never had problems with finding dates, trying to pick up girls from places/events, and even have girls seek me out. None of that matters though when they catch on to the lies because it just gets so out of control. There’s been a few times to where I really tried not lie and worked out well for awhile but then It always starts with one and then it’s like once that 1st lie comes out then it just flows out without even a thought before I speak. Which is odd because I’m a deep and heavy thinker. Like with the friends I lie about my life and material things to girls so I can seem to have a better current, past, and future life. Thinking that they will be even more attracted to me. Even if they’re already really into me when I was telling the truth I’ll just all of a sudden spit one out and the snowball effect happens.

    My lies have lead to great deal of constant anxiety, depression, isolation, and loss of relationships on multiply levels. Which makes my acne worse and then leads to lies because I feel I have to build myself up so they will look past my acne when they already have … And then the acne gets worse from stressing all the time from the all lies.

    I really need some help or suggestions on how to stop or prevent it so I can actually live my life..

  65. Roger Sicore says:

    I have lied over and over to my girlfriend and dont really know why cause i love her with all my heart and dont ever wanna hurt her but i still did i lied about talking to other girls. i never slept with them but i know its still cheating just for what was talked about or said im working very hard on changing my ways and not lying to her ever again

  66. Leroy says:

    I have told numerous lies to my fiance she knows everything time I lie and calls me out on it. I lied to her today about something so stupid and small. It started out as an auto response she asked me if I hoped to have sex with a certain girl in the past. I automatically said no which was a lie. Then when she asked again I said no cause I was embarrassed of the truth. Then I said no again to try and cover up that I lied. Then finally told the truth. She got posses rightfully and left. I hate that I lie especially to her. I can only hope that she isn’t done with me and will give me yet another chance. I came home and told her cat what I did and why she had to spend the night without her mom. I want to change and have been trying I just wish I ccould quickly stop the auto lying.

  67. "T" says:

    Hi… I’ve cheated on my girlfriend two times n I lie alote… I need help. I DON’T know why I lie to to her n other ppl including myself… she knows I’ve cheated on her. I keep lying to her even if it’s little lies… How do I stop? She loves me alote… I love her also… I DON’T know if it’s because I’ve been hurt in past relationships… I know she’s been hurt in the past also… I really need to STOP lying to her n ppl I care about including myself

  68. Ann says:

    I feel almost suicidal with self hate. I had a awful childhood and learned to lie very young. I have been married to a great guy for 12 years and he does not lie to me, though now and then I lie, usually about finances, he’s forgiven me and last night I told a stupid lie and this morning I felt so bad I told him the truth, I really disappointed him. I don’t want to lie, yet I know I do it so he. Won’t get angry with me. I love him so much it is truly hitting me hard. I hate that I lie , I really don’t want to be like that! Help

  69. Lorianna says:

    I’m just hitting the point of realization that maybe I need to stop and think about how bad it could get, and I can’t lose me in the process. I love my fiance and he is a very great honest man, I lie in fear of losing him or making him angry. Today we actually listened and heard one another. Reality check walking on thin ice is lonely. Both have had quite a rough childhood and bad memories but he still find room to love me. Time to change for him and or family.

  70. tiashia says:

    i have lied over and over to my boyfriend we started dating at the end of middle school i lied because i wanted him to see me as a nice and innocent person because in reality im a mess everyone saw me as a crazy slutly person and i saw me as an outgoing person i dont want to be that way so when we got to high school i isolated myself from others i was afraid of being called names but i aslo felt sad because i didnt have much friends as i use to i lied more than 10 times and we have only been dating for a year and one month i dont know if i have severe trust issues but im scared of loosing him and i dont want to lie sometimes it just comes out on accident so i stick with it because if i change my mind he would be like ” are you lieing ” i really think i need perfessional help. i hope this typing it out in the comment thing works because i cant ell my family about this i dont get along with them much

  71. tiashia says:

    ive lied about talking to guys about waving at people about texting guys ive lied about alot of little and big things i really want help i dont want to hurt him i want to stop im trying to stop and he tells me that no one can change im trying my hardest i want help

  72. lori says:

    I have lied so many times I lied about my virginity to guys how ask and to my closest friends. I had only one guy in my life when I was very young, now I am 22 I lied about not having relations as a way to get more respect and avoiding feeling ashamed. I guess people always had several expectations, that when I fail to meet them I feel useless so I usually would just tell a lie. Not too long ago I switched from religion thinking it was what I wanted when in reality, I was doing it to see if I could discover something– I don’t know what (maybe acceptance). Anyhow, I ended up getting almost engage to some guy… In the end I called it off I didn’t really know the guy but I was lying to my family that I did. Furthermore, recently I have been in a new relationship where the guy asked me if I was a virgin, “I said yes.” Then it made me feel like bad not telling him the truth, so an hour later I sent him a message saying the part of the truth that I wasn’t. Anyhow, this lying needs to stop. I have come to the point where I detest lying for useless things, much less serious things. I rather tell the truth how it is, than later on having to apologize for being a liar.

  73. Dan says:

    Hi there. I’ve been with my fianc

  74. full of despair says:

    I have been a compulsive liar since I can remember. My father was abusive and I learned at a young age to lie to others and myself to cope. I haven’t stopped. I have been married for 17 years and have lied the entire time about my childhood and my multiple affairs until I got caught 2 years ago. I have been a stupid crazy slut of a person but portrayed that I was the perfect wife and mother. I have gotten to the point to where I can’t sometimes distinguish the truth from the lies. I have completely ruined my life for nothing. I am so fortunate to have a caring husband but even he I fed up and I’ve caused him to use physical abuse towards me. I want to redeem myself from all the drama and lies I’ve made. I know I need help but my husband I to the point to where he feels it wont help because I have spoke to a therapist and didn’t take it seriously.deep down I pray for forgiveness and hope I can save my marriage and family from falling apart. I have no one to talk to because my cheating and lies have isolated me. I lost my job over my lies in my marriage, I have no friends because of my ways. I haven’t wanted to face reality until now. I’ve dug such a hole and hope I can use this article and get my life in track. The hardest thing is realizing who I am. I’m so ashamed and hope that I can change.

  75. Push says:

    I lied to every one..
    To get up on the situation i took help of lies..
    Now i realized that lying seems waste..
    I really want to get rid of lies..
    But from now i want to be a honest person..
    I wanna build trust on every one..

  76. Anon1234 says:

    I have been with my girlfriend for about 10 months and I love her more than anything in the world. The problem is I have been/still am in some ways a compulsive lied. I have lied about many things even little things that don’t really matter. But the biggest lie I have told is about a girl I kissed on a night out. I kissed a girl while I was drunk on a night out this is the second time this has happened (she knows about the first one) the second time I did this I was overcome with guilt and regret. She is so good to me and I have betrayed her. I felt the need to tell her about this but out of fear of losing her and other reasons I didn’t tell her the whole truth. I told her that she kissed me and I did not kiss her back. This is a lie as I did kiss her back. I never saw the girl again and dont even remember her name. I do t know wwhats wrong with me I don’t think I should dig up the past and tell her about it because it was a while ago no and we’ve been through it all. But instead I’ve decided to vow to never hurt her again and to never lie to her again. I will treat her like a princess everyday we are together and give her the boyfriend she deserves. She really is a wonderful human being and I am so lucky to have her. I love her so much and I want to be with her forever, I know this can only work if I am 100% honest with her all the time. I need help, I need to find out why I lie all the time and try to fix it.

  77. Ruined Everything says:

    like full of despair I have turned into a compulsive liar. I had a one night stand with a guy after I revealed to my husband I had curiosty about something. I tried seeking help in the form of a therapist to combat this curiosity and no appointment to help me ever came, after a few weeks I gave up on waiting and sank as low as to seek out someone else to help with this curiosity. I told my husband that I wouldnt let things go as far with this other guy but they did. I had problems admitting the full truth about what happened to my husband, infact it took 24 times, and still I have blank spots in my head about it all. I hated admitting to him I enjoyed parts of what happened.
    Since this happened my lies have became out of control. I don’t know what to do anymorie to save my marriage, I now have an appointment for a doctor and a therapist for after the weekend, should we survive that long.
    I love my husband and two kids with all my heart but my lies and my ridiculous curiosity have ruined everything.

  78. Brenda Brown says:

    I don’t remember when I first started lying but it keep getting worst I hate myself for lying to the man I love but I don’t know how to stop..

  79. Lillian says:

    I have been a serial liar for more than 10 years and while I’m not sure how I got started I lie so fast and easy and forget the truth so easy that I’m killing my marriage. In the past I was very flirty with everyone and ended up taking it WAY too far without knowing how I got there. Now that I have finally changed for the better it seems I can’t even stop lying about my previous actions. I have great intentions now but I’m having such a hard time confessing my lies. And its ruining me. And by not confessing what I lied about before and saying there is nothing left to tell, I lie again. So, with that, here are my lies that I need to tell but it would hurt my husband too much to know. I have had sex with and flirty relationships with MANY different people since we were together and also in my previous marriage. I have just come to the realization of why I do it, so I’m working in that but I needed to be able to say it so that its not just my secret. I’m actively trying to not lie, but its so easy! And far easier than telling the truth and getting in trouble! But then I get it bigger trouble….

  80. Miranda says:

    Maybe you shouldn’t have slept around on her or started fucking her neice you lying piece of shit

  81. Haydyn says:

    I was with a malignant liar who would do nothing but lie. It didn’t matter what we were talking about. Even something as simple as asking if they’d do a quick favour would be met (repeatedly) with I forgot, I’ll do it later, etc. However, the bigger lies were the ones she told about herself and her history. She set herself up as this all-important person and I was suckered right into it. I learned my lesson real quick and kicked her to the curb as soon as I could. The hurt lasts awhile though. I’m better nowadays.

  82. D says:

    I’m a compulsive liar. I was physically and emotionally abused from the time I was 3 until I was 16 by my mothers boyfriend. She is incredibly insecure and she lies all the time. She never protected me. He was on drugs and I had to lie to cope with the abuse. Now at 26, I am sneaky and lie to my spouse. I want to be more honest with myself and him because I don’t want to lose him.

  83. TCab says:

    I have been lying to my husband about things for the past couple of years. Mostly about our finances. I started when I became overwhelmed with the amount of bills we had verses the amour of money he made. I did not want him to think he wasn’t doing enough for our family. We have been close to divorce for the past year and I have been trying to be more honest and open with him but it’s a slow process. I know that he is done with my lies and ready to divorce me. I cannot handle our finances but I have trouble giving him the control because I know that means I will have to be honest about all of it. We are close to loosing everything and he keeps finding out in the worst possible way. When a bill collector shows up at our door or when they are trying to repossess the truck he bought for me. He is an amazing husband and father and I hate what I am doing to him. My mother was a compulsive liar and I am terrified of being her so I lie to myself to avoid facing the truth about who I am. Today he caught me in yet another lie about bills that we’re supposed to be taken care of but I simply failed to take care of them. This may be the last straw. I hate myself for destroying this wonderful man and my family. I am so ashamed that I can’t handle what I feel like is my responsibility and I just can’t let it go. Please help me before I end up passing this horrible habit to my own children.

  84. graham says:

    I have been lying to my wife for nearly 2 years about money I owe loads out but have nothing to show for it. I don’t know what to do. Think its over between us

  85. graham says:

    Have been here before and she helped me. It’s not about the money I just can’t stop lying to everyone I need help

  86. Ryan tew says:

    I lied to my mother about stealing and now I don’t know what to do I’m 14 and she has said that she doesn’t want anything to do with me please can someone help me

  87. Nino says:

    I’ve been lying since past few years. I don’t know why do I lie to my husband. I’ve got a great partner an amazing family , he understands me more than I know myself and everything goes smooth in our relationship but then because of me lying it all breaks down. I don’t want to lie to him at all and want a happy life , but I don’t know why I do over and over again.
    I know I’m destroying our relationship and he would eventually distance from me even more. I need to stop lying and getting angry

  88. Mr says:

    I lie so much I can’t even remember the first time I lied. It’s gotten so bad I just can’t stop I lie to people I don’t trust and people who’ve hurt me. I need help and that’s why I’ve reached out to the Internet to help me so I don’t continue to hurt myself. My spouse and I struggle and he tries so hard but I can’t let my walls down. Until he proves that he’ll never leave me and never hurt me again. He’s changed since but I still don’t trust him. Please help?

  89. Whyilie says:

    I will try to be honest as I type this. I have a problem. I lie about silly simple things, my partner will catch me looking at another man and when asked why I will say I don’t know what he’s talking about. Obviously I do. I’m curious I’m nosey to see what people look like or act like, however my partner thinks I’m doing this because I want to sleep with other men. This is really not the case. I grew up with my mum in every man’s face for whatever reason and it’s like that’s what I know in one way. In another way, its still wrong because I’m in a relationship, I have a family, its dangerous, its just wrong on so many levels.

  90. samantha says:

    I lie because when my husband convinced me to open our relationship as soon as we were married it sounded interesting. To meet people and to explore places. I didnt know how bad my jealousy was and how possessive i am. I would cry nights he was he out. Id yell at him not calling me th next day. When he told me he needed to have this in his life my heart broke. I told him i wanted to stop and almost left to go back home. But i stayed and i told him yeah its fun and i can handle it. Everyday i chipped at me and i questioned everything about him and myself. I kept telling myself i love him and i can accept this part of him. I almost belived it. I made it so i was never home and i would never see him. I took up night shifts. Didnt last long. I broke down crying and he would put me on guilt trips. Im very easy to do that to. So i said ok just slow down. I said i cant do this anymore after he said i found someone special. I lost it. I didnt know ho i was anymore. I didnt feel special or important to me anymore. I told him you pick this or me thats it. He sid ok. I bought plane tickets to go home. In the weeks leading up to it we closed the relationship and he stopped. I was under so much guilt and sadness. The thing is deep down i was happy and relieved. But e was hurt and sad. He kept telling me that it was a happiness he lost when he lost “them”. I was shut down after that. I kept lying to him yes go a head. No i dont mind or have fun. But id lash back and yell at him after. He was hurt and feeling guilty for having what he wanted. It was all messed up. I lie about almost everything to him and hide myself along my feelings. He reminds me of the pasted and wants to be close to me again.

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