A relationship could seem calm and perfect on the outside.
But more often than not, it’s never as simple as it appears.
You may think you’re the perfect partner who constantly tries to woo their lover or make them feel special.
But unknowingly, there may be a few traits that you display which could be tearing the both of you apart, without your notice.
[Read: 18 subtle but critical signs of an unhealthy relationship!]
The big things that break a relationship apart
There are so many little things that play a part in holding a relationship together.
But there are just as many little things that can drive a wedge between the both of you too.
Sometimes, it may be an ego battle that’s played subtly, or at other times, it could be trust issues, or even the involvement of a third person that causes an emotional affair to enter into the picture.
[Read: 18 signs you’re having an emotional affair and don’t even know it!]
If you truly want your relationship to bloom without doubts or trust issues, avoid letting your ego get in the way of your relationship.
Communicate with each other and talk about the annoying things that nag the back of your mind. The earlier both of you start communicating with each other, the easier it is to avoid these relationship deal breakers, and the fall of the relationship. [Read: 25 topics to talk about for a perfectly happy relationship]
10 relationship deal breakers to watch out for!
Every relationship is unique. But if it starts to fall apart, there are just a few reasons that cause the breakdown. You may assume your relationship is different from the others, but chances are, you’re making the same mistakes that most couples going through a hard time are making! [Read: Top 20 reasons for divorce that most couples overlook!]
If you want your relationship to flourish without any difficulties, keep these 10 relationship deal breakers in mind. It may seem easy and simple, but you may be committing a few or more than just a few of these mistakes without even realizing it.
#1 Making plans on their behalf. Do you unintentionally take decisions on your partner’s behalf? If a friend asks you to meet up, but you already have plans with your partner, do you answer on behalf of your partner and tell your partner about it later?
Or at a restaurant, do you order for your partner without really asking them what they would like to have? You may assume that you making plans on behalf of your partner for any reason at all just shows how well you know your partner. But somewhere along the line, you could be turning into a controlling partner without even realizing it! [Read: How to handle and fix controlling behavior in a relationship]
#2 “Who told you to do that?” If your partner does something thoughtful or sweet to surprise you, but it doesn’t go as planned and ends badly, do you criticize your partner and say something mean like “who told you to do that?!”
If your partner brings you breakfast in bed to surprise you, and you accidentally tip the plate onto the floor because you’re still groggy, it’s natural that you may get a wee bit annoyed with your partner. But if you yell at your partner or blame them for it, you need to remember that you’re hurting their feelings too. And your partner may subconsciously hate you for it and make up their mind never to bring you breakfast in bed ever again.
And little by little, this kind of miscommunication could end up becoming the biggest deal breaker in your relationship. [Read: The 9 relationship stages all couples go through in love]
#3 Superiority complex. You may truly love your partner, but do you subconsciously believe that you’re better than your partner, or that your partner is undeserving of a person as awesome as you?
The second you believe you’ve been given an unfair disadvantage in the relationship because you’re stuck with someone who doesn’t deserve the awesome you, you’re stepping on the threshold of a breakup.
#4 Clingy partners. Do you like spending all your free time with your partner? Do you hate it if your partner makes plans to meet their own friends after work once in a while? You may think you’re truly in love with your partner, but in reality, you may be turning into a clingy partner without realizing it. [Read: 13 signs of a clingy girlfriend and how to avoid being one]
If you feel like you don’t enjoy doing anything by yourself, and always want your partner to give you company, it’s a sign you’re starting to get clingy. And very soon, your partner may even start to feel claustrophobic in the relationship. Learn to give space in the relationship to your partner. It’ll only make your partner come closer to you and love you a lot more! [Read: The right way to give space in a relationship and come closer]
#5 Washing your dirty laundry in public. A relationship is personal, and a special bond that’s shared between two lovers. Don’t talk about the things happening in your relationship with anyone else, especially behind your partner’s back.
It may feel good to bitch about all the things that piss you off about your partner to someone else. But by doing that, you’re only driving a wedge in the relationship because you’re talking to the wrong person. If something bothers you about your relationship, the first person you need to talk about it with is your own lover, not someone else!
And most importantly, if you’re talking about your partner’s drawbacks with someone of the opposite sex, you may unknowingly fall into an emotional affair because this friend would appear to be so much more understanding than your own partner. [Read: Emotional cheating and 10 bad things it can do to you!]
#6 Mind readers. Do you expect your partner to read your mind all the time? Do you say “I’m fine” when you clearly aren’t? If something bothers you, be frank about it. Of course, when you’re upset, giving your lover the silent treatment feels so much better because you intuitively want to hurt them for hurting you.
But expecting your lover to read your mind won’t help you. And it’ll only infuriate your partner more with each new incident! [Read: How to use the silent treatment and improve your communication instantly]
#7 Confrontational lovers. Learn to communicate without appearing like you’re always ready to pick a fight with your partner. If your partner tells you something you don’t want to hear, do you try to hear their side of the story or do you go “what did you just say?!”
If you want your relationship to work out, don’t always be confrontational. Learn to communicate and hear your lover’s side of the story before reacting angrily to something. After all, there must be a good reason why your partner did what they did.
#8 Condescending behavior. Do you put your partner down without even realizing it? Sometimes, you may think you’re being funny when you point flaws at your lover and show just how dumb they were for making such a silly mistake.
But what you think is funny could actually be very hurtful to your lover, especially when they were genuinely trying hard to do something perfectly. You may think it is funny, but your behavior could be hurting the confidence of your spouse or partner. [Read: 7 secret signs of a relationship that’s starting to go bad]
#9 Drama in your life. Do you constantly create drama in your life without realizing it? Do you argue over something even after both of you find the solution to the problem?
Some people just don’t like a plain and monotonous lifestyle. They unintentionally find a way to bring on more problems over themselves, and expect their partner to hear them out or deal with it. If you feel people ask you a lot of favors, or if you believe your problems are bigger than others’ problems, there’s a chance that you may be creating the drama yourself, and dragging your partner into it too. And at some point, your partner may just get annoyed with you and cut away from you emotionally! [Read: 16 attention whore signs to watch out for]
#10 “I told you so”. This is definitely one of the most hurtful sentences that can ever be used in a relationship, and it’s a big deal breaker too. Do you secretly wait for your partner to fail at something you don’t approve of, just so you can let them know that you were right all along?
If you feel a sadistic sense of pleasure each time your partner fails at something, you need to ask yourself, do you really think this behavior is healthy? How can you convince yourself that you love your partner and wish them the best in whatever they do, if the first words that come out of your mouth when they fail is an “I told you so” with a big grin?!
[Read: 25 relationship rules you need to follow for a happy relationship]
These relationship deal breakers may seem like little things that don’t really play a big part in the happiness of a relationship. But trust us, keeping these things in mind can make the difference between a happy relationship and a failed one!
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