Dreams About Cheating: What They Mean & Why You Don’t Have to Panic

What does it mean if you have dreams about cheating? Is your relationship on the rocks, or is it something totally innocent? 

dreams about cheating

Dreams are supposed to be gentle, happy things. Do you remember the last time you woke up from a wonderful dream and how good it made you feel? On the flip side, do you remember the last time you woke up from a bad dream, and how it set your day off to a terrible start? For instance, if you have dreams about cheating, does it mean that something is going on, or that you want to actually cheat? 

Bad dreams often stick with us for the rest of the day, and it has the power to make you question things in your life that relate to the dream you had. Don’t panic! Our subconscious minds sometimes work in weird ways, even when it comes to dreams about cheating. 

[Read: Are you *should you be* worried about your cheating fantasy?]

What does it mean to dream about cheating?

There are many who say that every single dream we have means something. However, they don’t always mean what you think they do. For instance, if you dream about death, it doesn’t necessarily mean that someone is about to die. It can often be a sign of rebirth. For example, a change in life, something coming to an end so something new can arrive. 

However, when you have dreams about cheating, it can often mean one of a few things:

#1 Dissatisfaction with the relationship

#2 You’re not satisfied sexually

#3 Guilt over something you have done

#4 Baggage over something that happened in the past *like someone cheated on you*

Much of it comes down to fears. If you’re not feeling secure in your relationship, for whatever reason, that’s going to play on your mind. When you sleep, those fears aren’t controlled, so they manifest in your dreams. That’s probably the best way to explain why we have dreams about cheating. 

[Read: Erotophobia and the variety of fears that can be related to sexual intimacy]

For instance, have you ever been thinking about a situation before you fall asleep then dream about it? You’ve placed that into your subconscious, and as a result, it’s on your mind, even when you’re sleeping. 

If you are having dreams about cheating, it’s not necessarily something to be overly concerned about. However, if it is because of one of the reasons I mentioned above, you should probably do a little self-improvement work to try and overcome the issue and stop the dreams that may be troubling you. 

[Read: Vulnerability and the reasons why you should wear your heart on your sleeve]

Dreams about cheating vs dreams about being cheated on 

Is there a difference between having dreams about cheating, i.e., you do the cheating, and dreams about being cheated on? Not really. It tends to come down to an underlying issue. 

If you’re regularly having dreams about cheating, in that you’re cheating on your partner, it could be that you’re feeling unsatisfied with the relationship or with your sex life. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to actually cheat, it’s simply your subconscious giving you a push. 

[Read: How to spice up a relationship and go for bland to Ka-Pow]

If you’re often dreaming about being cheated on, this can be because you feel insecure. Maybe you’ve been cheated on in the past and fear it will happen again. Perhaps you’ve cheated in the past and your guilt is causing you to be fearful. Or maybe it’s just plain insecurity.

Dreams can be quite troubling if they’re a regular thing. For instance, recurring dreams can make you think that there is something mystical going on. You wonder whether a higher power is telling you something. The more likely reason is unresolved baggage that you must unpack and deal with. Once you do that, the recurring dreams will usually go away. 

[Read: Insecurity in a relationship – How to feel more secure and learn to love better]

Learning to unpack your dream baggage

No matter what your type of dream, dreams about cheating might be causing you some distress. In that case, how can you unpack your baggage and work through it? 

Firstly, it comes down to exactly what is causing your dream. Try a dream journal in the first instance. Keep a notebook and pen at the side of your bed. When you wake up, scribble down anything you remember about the dream. It’s best to do it straightaway because the dream will be clearer in your mind than if you wait. You don’t have to write paragraphs, just a few keywords.

At the end of the week, sit down with your dream journal and do a little detective work. Have you had the dream more than once? Are the features the same or do they vary? Dreams about cheating can follow the same theme or be mixed. It really depends on what the underlying issue is. Of course, your dreams could simply be random which gives you more of a challenge when it comes to working out what the heart of the matter really is. 

What is the recurring pattern you see?

Generally, your gut will tell you want the dream is trying to tell you. Ask yourself what YOU think the dream is about. Don’t interpret it directly by believing the scenario you dreamed of is the exact meaning. Just ask yourself what you’d like to fix about the core idea of the dream.

If you think that it’s because you aren’t satisfied with your relationship or your sex life leaves you less than satisfied, that’s pretty easy to solve. Work on spicing up your relationship and dedicating time to one another. Date nights are a great idea, but never cancel them! These need to be prioritized over everything else. 

Give it a little time and see how things progress. Also, remember to communicate with your partner. Maybe they’re feeling the same as you and they’re clueless as to what is really going on. By speaking about how you feel, you can overcome the challenges that come your way together, as a team. 

[Read: How to open up to someone you’re dating when you’re scared to be vulnerable]

How to recognize the underlying reasons behind your cheating dream

So, what if the underlying issue is that you’re feeling guilty over something you’ve done? That depends on whether it is something you’ve done to your current partner or something that happened in the past. In some ways, you should just let the past go and make a pact with yourself to do better next time. Dreams about cheating can often manifest as a result of guilt or fear. Neither does you any good. 

If you’re feeling guilty about a misdemeanor and your partner doesn’t know about it, question whether they actually need to know at all. That might not sound like the most honest route forwards, I know. As someone who was cheated on in the past, I can tell you that if it was a mistake and just once, then I would have preferred not to know. It causes a world of pain and when your partner doesn’t need it, i.e., you’re committed to them now and you’re never going to do it again, spare them the agony. Everyone is different, but that’s my personal point of view. [Read: Should you confess to cheating or hide it if was just once?]

If it’s something which your partner does know about and it’s been dealt with, let it go. Forgive yourself and move on. Living in the past does you no good at all. 

[Read: How to forgive yourself for cheating and stop beating yourself up]

So that leaves us with feeling insecure over something that someone did to you in the past, e.g., you were cheated on and now you’re worried it’s going to happen again. 

It’s vital that you know not everyone is the same. Just because an ex cheated on you, it doesn’t mean your current partner is going to do it. Be kind to yourself, work on building up your self-esteem, and know that by holding on to past baggage, you’re just damaging your own happiness. 

You were not to blame for being cheated on. It was not your fault. Know that and allow yourself to heal. Give yourself time to do so and then put a lid on the issue and move on. Past baggage has no place in a relationship and all it will do is rot it from the inside out. Dreams about cheating can often manifest because of this. You’re scared it’s going to happen and as a result, you dream that your partner is going to cheat on you. It’s a dream, not reality. 

Don’t let your dreams about cheating predict your future

How often are you having dreams about cheating? That’s another thing to consider. If it’s a very regular thing, that means overcoming the underlying issue is a more pressing matter. However, if it’s a random and less common thing, don’t pay it a huge amount of attention. 

We all like to think that dreams have a hugely significant meaning 100% of the time, but the truth is that sometimes they’re just random things which play on our fears. 

[Read: The 25 best relationship topics to discuss with each other if you want to be happy]

[Read: How to have a wet dream – Your guide to experience sleep orgasms]

Dreams about cheating can mean something or they can mean nothing. It’s up to you to work out why these types of dreams are bothering you and do a little self-improvement work to rid them from your life.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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