We can’t all be perfect 100% of the time, and our human nature takes over quite often. In fact, we may find ourselves flirting with someone… even though we have a husband or wife sitting at home waiting for us. It’s a natural occurrence to be married and flirting, but there are certain things you should remember during this time.
It’s really easy to bump into a cute person at the store or when you’re out running errands and strike up an innocent conversation. And it’s even easier to lose control over your body language. Then suddenly, you’re flirting with a complete stranger – or even someone you know!
Why we can’t stop flirting
There’s actually a reason why we find ourselves flirting with someone, even if it’s accidental. The truth is that humans just can’t stop flirting. Our bodies were designed to flirt in order to find potential mates in order to continue growing the population.
Now, this doesn’t mean that we can’t recognize and then stop ourselves from flirting. Honestly, we could correct our behavior once we realize we’re doing it, but most of us like flirting because it’s fun and gives us a self-esteem boost.
Things to remember when you’re married and flirting
Flirting can be completely innocent and cause no harm to a marriage if you don’t take it too far. But sometimes people get carried away, and it may cause them to hurt their spouse in unforgivable ways – as I’m sure you can all imagine. [Read: Is flirting cheating when you’re in a relationship?]
If you’re someone that is married and flirting, there are certain things you should always be aware of. In order to remain faithful and honest to your spouse, this is what you should always remember, no matter who you’re flirting with.
#1 It’s completely natural. Like I mentioned above, flirting with a random person – or even someone you know – is completely natural. We all do it, and it’s a part of being human. This is important to remember if you’re someone that really punishes themselves for innocently flirting with someone other than your spouse.
#2 It should never be taken too far. There is a fine line between innocent flirting and harmful flirting. It’s okay to flirt every now and then with someone when it’s completely innocent, but you should never take it to a point that you would be ashamed if your spouse found out. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]
#3 No actions can be taken during or after the flirting. Flirting should always remain in your words and body language if you’re married and flirting. You should never take any action that would suggest that the flirting is being taken more seriously or to another level. Only say, never do.
#4 If you would be uncomfortable with your spouse doing it, then stop. Not a whole lot of people think about it in this way. Put yourselves in your spouse’s shoes for a moment when you’re flirting. Would they be upset if they saw how you were flirting, or the level the flirting is at? If so, then stop what you’re doing because you’re hurting your marriage.
#5 You married your spouse for a reason. Never forget why you married the person you did. You’re with them because you love them, and you love flirting with them too. Always remember that there is a real person beneath all of your flirtations and that person is not even close to who your spouse is. [Read: Emotional cheating and 10 bad things it can do to you]
#6 It’s never OK to hide it from your spouse. If you feel the need to hide something from your spouse, then things have gone too far. Being married and flirting with someone other than your spouse should never be leave you feeling ashamed, nor should it upset your lifetime lover. Just remember that it’s not okay to hide things from them.
#7 It can help raise your self-esteem. Truth be told, flirting is one hell of a great way to boost your self-esteem. When you’re married to the same person for a long time, it can be easy to forget just how great of a person you are because they don’t always tell you that.
So you resort to flirting as a means to boost your self-esteem. And it does work! But if you’re not careful, it can be addicting – and you may end up hurting your spouse.
#8 But raising your self-esteem should never be your sole purpose for flirting. If you’re just going around flirting with random strangers just to boost your self-esteem, then there are deeper problems at hand. You should always find other ways to feel good about yourself. Remember that being married and flirting with someone other than your spouse isn’t a permanent fix. [Read: Is your partner having an emotional affair?]
#9 You shouldn’t be initiating it. Another thing to always remember is that you shouldn’t be the one going around seeking out people to flirt with. You have a spouse, and they are important to you. You shouldn’t be striking up a conversation with someone in such a flirty manner.
Now, it’s okay if someone initiates it and you respond by flirting back, but you can’t be the one always initiating those flirtations or it will give them the wrong idea.
#10 You can control it. Some people use the excuse that they can’t control flirting with someone else. Their bodies just do it and they can’t make it stop. While it is true that you may do it without noticing it, you actually ARE able to control it and stop.
#11 You should avoid people who won’t stop flirting with you. Not everyone respects a marriage as they should, and you may run into those people in your flirtations. You have to remember to avoid people who chronically flirt with you – and flirt heavily. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]
These people usually don’t respect your marriage and are looking to make a move on you – something that should never happen when you’re married. Steer clear of these toxic flirters.
#12 Flirting won’t ruin your marriage. This is something that many people fear when they first realize they were flirting with someone else. Sometimes it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong in your marriage, but rather that you accidentally connected with someone else in a flirty way. Innocent flirting won’t harm your marriage at all.
#13 Your need to flirt could mean there’s an underlying problem. However, if you’re flirting a LOT and you feel that you need flirting just to be happy in your marriage, then this is a definite sign that you could have trouble in your marriage.
You should always be careful when you realize that you’re using flirting as a means to be happy, because it almost always means that something is off in your marriage and you might need to reevaluate it. [Read: How to flirt with touch without being obvious]
#14 If you want to flirt, flirt with your spouse! Another thing that a lot of people need to remember when they’re married and flirting is that your spouse loves to flirt with you too! That’s why you two connected and fell in love. If you feel really flirty, start flirting with them!
#15 Remember how your spouse would feel about your flirting. The absolute most important thing for you to remember about being married and flirting is how your spouse would feel about what you’re doing. Always think of them and their feelings and how you’re affecting them. [Read: Subtle eye contact flirting moves that always work]
If you’re married and flirting, it’s completely natural, and many couples do this. Just remember these things, and it can help save you from making a huge mistake down the road if the flirting gets out of hand.
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