It’s tough being a girl. Even in modern times, you simply can’t be the one courting the guy. Sure, you can be the one who makes the first move, but it will generally create a dynamic that is simply not sustainable in the long run. One day, you’ll want your guy to actually be the one to chase after you and beg for your affection.
Subtle, tried, and tested ways you can attract a guy
The ideal scenario is that he falls madly in love with you and does everything to win your love. But if that seems impossible right now, don’t feel helpless. There are many ways you can attract the guy you adore, so he’ll pursue you and try to woo you even if you don’t make it overly obvious that you like him already.
#1 Hold eye contact a few seconds longer. This one is the oldest trick in the book. If you hold your stare even just for two seconds longer than usual, you will send a sexy vibe to the person you’re staring at. Holding eye contact will make you appear more confident, and it could give the other person the impression that you’re interested in him, which will make him consider liking you in return. It’s the most obvious non-verbal cue that says, “I think you’re hot.” [Read: The girl’s guide to making eye contact with a guy]
#2 Wear good perfume. Fragrance is really powerful. When someone walks by and their perfume wafts to our nose, our senses awaken just like the Axe commercials suggest. Scent can stimulate parts of the brain directly connected to sexual desire. Put on a few more sprays minutes before you approach the man you’re eyeing, and he might start noticing you in a romantic or sexual manner.
#3 Laugh at his jokes. Men love their egos stroked and there’s no better way to do than by laughing at his jokes. You do not have to force yourself, because if you really like this person, it’s likely to be effortless for you to ride with his sense of humor.
#4 Call him by his name. As they say, your name is the sweetest sound. If you just met a guy and you’re attracted to him, make sure you call him by his name. Instead of saying “hey,” say “Hey, Dylan.” It instantly creates intimacy and he’ll have warm feelings toward you. Don’t overdo it, though, or you’ll sound like a sales agent. [Read: 10 ways to make a guy fall in love with you instantly]
#5 Be mysterious. It’s nice to be with people who are open books, but since everything seems to be given to us, we lose interest in getting to know them better. If you give your love interest the impression that you have a secret world that only special people can enter, he will get curious. You want your guy to be curious about you! Don’t tell him every detail about your life in the first few conversations.
#6 Be yourself. Sure, it’s important to leave some mystery for your man to get curious about you, but make sure the self you’re showing him is the real you. Show your real, vulnerable, awkward self by being honest. There is nothing sexier than honesty. If you don’t like the amuse-bouche, say it. He could be relieved that you said what’s on his mind. Be unapologetically yourself. People will love you for it more than they’ll hate you.
#7 Let him do favors for you. This could be as simple as borrowing his pen. Psychologists found out that if you do small favors for someone, you feel warmth toward them. Men, in particular, will start to feel that they’re needed and that they’re important. They will want this feeling and, therefore, think that they’re attracted to you.
#8 Be friendly to everyone. You don’t have to be Ms. Personality, because that would also make you scary and exhausting to be with. Just make sure you’re courteous to everyone and that you’re not pulling people to the ground. If people like you, he’ll automatically start to like you, too. If, in the end, you find that this trick doesn’t work for the guy you’re eyeing, at least you’ve got friends. [Read: Why men find a damsel in distress irresistibly attractive]
#9 Get closer to him. Go where he goes—without being annoying. Being in close proximity to someone is possibly the most important trick in this list. If there’s a chance for you to sit beside him, do it. If you’re having an office party and everyone is getting rowdy, approach him for a selfie. Physical closeness will spark attraction and could lead him to open up his feelings for you.
#10 Introduce him to something new. It could be a new TV show, a new pub in town, a new food, a new hobby, or a new sport. Activities like this will give him an endorphin rush, which he will associate with you. This “high” feeling will condition him, making him think he’s also falling in love with you. If you’re having so much fun doing all these things, he better be, anyway! [Read: 25 compliments for men they’ll never ever forget]
#11 Act like you don’t need men. We’re not suggesting that you turn into an angry feminist, but avoid being that girl who whines all the time that she’s single. You can talk about your singlehood over beer with your girl friends, but don’t do it with the guy you like. Even if he’s interested in you, if he feels like you need a man to be happy, he’ll hide in his shell or start to behave in an aloof manner because he’ll assume you “need” him anyway. Men want women who feel complete and are 100% okay being alone.
#12 Smile slowly. Yes, it may sound pathetic, but there’s a study that says that smiling slowly, rather than very quickly, makes you appear more genuine. Likewise, if you flash a very quick grin, the recipient might feel like you really don’t mean it. If you want to attract a man, take it nice and slow when you smile.
#13 If someone likes you, make sure he finds out. Drop hints that someone is crazy for you to speed things up. Men like competition, and if the man of your dreams is taking small strides, the best way for him to amp up into a sprint is by informing him that he has competition. One sneaky way to do this is by letting your friends tease you when he’s around or by letting them tell him “accidentally” about the other guy. [Read: 9 super-easy and sneaky ways to get a guy to ask you out]
#14 Don’t reply to his texts too quickly. The game is called “Who’s the coolest, most relaxed texter,” and the players are you and him. This even works on your boyfriend or husband! If you text right away, your guy will feel reassured that you like him more than he likes you. He’ll get lazy.
In fact, men sometimes get bored because of that. They text once, and you text thrice. Where’s the challenge in that? I know it shouldn’t be a game, but when you’re flirting with someone, you have no choice but to play *at least initially*. Reply at least an hour after you received his text to keep him on his toes, unless you’re both having a texting conversation.
#15 Turn down his invites once in a while. If you want to take things to the next level, make him feel like your world is not revolving around him. Say no to some of his invites. Not only will this make him wonder if you’re seeing someone, this will also challenge him to do better with whatever it is he’s doing with you, because it might not be working anymore. In other words, he’ll try to find better ways to please you.
[Read: The secret guide to attracting guys in a way they just can’t resist]
Sure, girls don’t always call the shots when it comes to courting, but if you drop these subtle hints, almost any guy will instantly fall for you. What makes these tricks awesome is that your guy won’t even suspect that you like him in the first place. So what are you waiting for? Roll up your sleeves, put on a really good perfume, and start seducing your man.
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