Why Is He Ignoring Me? 37 Honest Reasons to Decode a Guy’s Mind

Is a guy giving you the cold shoulder? You’re asking ‘why is he ignoring me’ and it’s driving you crazy. Here’s a few reasons why he’s acting this way.

why is he ignoring me

Is a guy ignoring you or giving you the cold shoulder all of a sudden? We get it, it feels miserable. But to actually get to the bottom of it all, and try to bring some meaning to all the confusion, you need to clear the clutter in your mind, and think rationally. Then, you can work out “why is he ignoring me?”

It’s really frustrating when a guy ignores you. Anyone who’s been ignored knows the feeling well and would most likely never want to feel it again. It also might leave you with a lot of questions.

However, there are some legitimate reasons a guy could be ignoring you. You don’t know what’s going on in his life, and you can’t know what he’s doing every minute of every day. For all you know, his reasons could be completely valid. [Read: Why isn’t he asking you out? 27 reasons why and how to get him to make a move]

How worrying too much about him ignoring you can ruin everything

Let’s think about this for a minute. How would you react if you grabbed your phone after a two-hour nap to a dozen texts and a few missed calls from a guy? You’d probably be a little weirded out, wouldn’t you?

So even if you keep asking yourself, why is he ignoring me, remind yourself that he’s probably busy working or living his life. He’ll probably text you the minute he gets some free time on his hands. 

By fixating on him ignoring you, you might create a problem when there isn’t one in the first place. [Read: Is he just leading you on? The signs and reasons why he’s playing games]

Is he really ignoring you or are you misreading it?

If you’re asking yourself, why is he ignoring me, the reasons aren’t always as personal as you think. Even if it’s easy to overthink things *especially when you really like him*, avoid doing so. People have a life, and the same goes for you.

So if he’s not texting back right away, maybe it’s not him ignoring you but a matter of him just being busy with work, his family, or something else entirely. It’s incredibly easy to take things personally, but try to see things from his perspective. [Read: The psychology of ignoring someone – Why we do it & ways to fix it]

Maybe a personal matter occurred and he had to deal with it first, or maybe he’s just hanging out with friends.

Don’t immediately assume that he never wants to talk to you again or that he’s not interested. Unless he directly drops a hint or he hasn’t texted for several days even when you know he’s totally active on social media, that’s the only time you should assume he’s ignoring you.

But before we go looking for the reasons behind why he may be ignoring you, let’s look at both sides to know if he’s ignoring you intentionally, or if something’s just keeping him busy. [Read: What to do when he doesn’t text you back – The steps you won’t like but need to follow]

The 3 big questions to ask yourself

When a guy ignores you, you need to ask yourself these three questions in the first place. That way, you can work out what’s really going on.

1. Is he really ignoring you?

Has he shown significant interest in you that leads you to believe he has feelings for you in the first place? Or were both of you just in a scenario where he had to spend time with you, and now that the moment has passed, he’s moved on with his own life?

When a guy ignores you, it’s important to think about it clearly before arriving at a conclusion. [Read: 20 circumstances when a guy may never ever want to date you]

2. Why do you think he’s ignoring you?

Did you notice any clear signs recently? Is it something you said? Focus on all the ways he’s ignoring you, and ask yourself if you’re sure you are being ignored.

And try to recollect the time period when he started backing away from you. But, don’t try to connect events together that don’t fit – it’s easy to overthink it.

3. Does it matter?

This is the most important part of it all. Of course, it hurts and annoys you that you’re being ignored by a guy you think is pretty special. But in the grand scheme of things, does it matter to you?

When a guy ignores you, ask whether you see this guy as an integral part of your future. And finally, is he worth the effort you’re putting into trying to understand why he’s ignoring you? [Read: 20 ways to stop thinking about someone you still like a lot!]

Do you really need to know the reason why?

Sometimes, trying to understand why a guy is ignoring you is just not worth the effort. You could ask him, but in all probability *if he’s truly ignoring you*, he may just lie to you and pretend like everything’s normal. *while continuing to ignore you at the same time!*

So, the bottom line here is that you can never really know why he’s being distant for sure.

But here’s the catch, the reasons why a guy ignores a girl aren’t many. And unless this guy is from another planet, in all probability, you’ll know just why he’s choosing to pretend you don’t exist just by reading a few signs and making your own deductions. [Confession: I miss him so much but I don’t think he misses me at all!]

Why is he ignoring me? The most common reasons why

When a man ignores a woman, there’s a very good chance that it’s just one of these reasons. Sometimes, it could be more than just one of these reasons too.

Now all you need to do is read these signs why he’s ignoring you and using the earlier questions, try to see where this guy fits in the scenario of the ignoring game.

1. He’s losing interest in you slowly

He was infatuated by you when he first met you, but as time passed, he’s probably getting bored or has found something better to do.

2. You misunderstood him

He isn’t interested in you in the first place. He never really liked you “that way” but you just misunderstood him and assumed he was in love with you. [Read: Does he like you? – 18 body language clues that’ll give the truth away!]

3. He has a lighter attitude toward love

He’s more easygoing about love, and takes it easy in the relationship. He probably doesn’t read fairy tales or romance novels, and doesn’t really think a relationship is that big of a deal just yet.

4. He doesn’t know how to handle the situation

He doesn’t really like you, and feels too awkward to admit it. He’s flirted with you, but now his “wise” mind has convinced him that ignoring you is a better alternative to telling you that he’s not interested. [Read: Why do guys ghost? 15 reasons why they turn into cowardly pricks]

5. There’s something else going on in his life

He’s got something more exciting going on in his life, and he’s forgotten about you, at least at this point in time.

6. He’s confused

He’s confused about his feelings for you, and he’s decided that taking a step back and avoiding you for a while can give him the time he needs to make up his mind. [Read: How to read mixed signals from a guy and turn it into love]

7. His expectations are totally different from yours

You think he ignores you if he calls you over the phone less than three times a day. He thinks speaking to each other once a day is being clingy!

Both of you have different expectations from each other, and one of you ends up feeling ignored.

8. The moral dilemma

He’s cheating on his girlfriend or wife with you, and as the noose gets tighter around his neck, he thinks walking away from you is the best thing he can do. [Read: A guy with a girlfriend likes you… now what?!]

9. He doesn’t care

He’s probably not ignoring you intentionally. He just doesn’t care enough about you to think about you or your opinions.

10. He needs space

You’re too clingy and needy, and he just wants his space. And you think he’s ignoring you. [Read: 21 clingy girlfriend signs and how to avoid them]

11. Imbalanced love

You just love him more than he does. And no matter what you do, you’ll always be the one feeling miserable.

12. He’s just too busy

He’s truly busy, and as much as he wants to spend time with you, he’s just got other priorities that need his time and attention.

13. You’re in a love triangle you don’t know about

He’s started liking someone else, and you’re taking up less space in his thoughts. [Read: Love triangles and its confusing complications]

14. You misread the whole situation

He was never into you, and you’ve just been misreading the signs all the while. [Read: How to tell if a guy ahs never liked you and you’ve been misreading it all along]

15. He’s “trying” to be honorable

He’s realized that you actually like him and he doesn’t want to lead you on.

16. You’ve fallen down his priority list

Both of you have evolved over time. He has different priorities in life now, and you’ve just been dropped down a notch or two. [Read: Should you ever make someone a priority when you’re only an option to them?]

17. He thinks you’re too easy

Sometimes, a guy likes a good chase to know that a girl is worth it. And now that he’s snagged you easily, he doesn’t find wooing you or impressing you much of a challenge. [Read: How to attract a guy and make him stay in a way he can’t resist!]

18. He has wandering eyes

He thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Even though he likes you and thinks you’re a very nice person, he thinks he can find someone better.

19. He’s freaked out

Why is he ignoring you? Probably because he likes you too much, and it scares him. He thinks it’s better to ignore you now, than fall madly in love with you and get walked all over by you in the future because he doesn’t believe you’re as interested in him as he is in you. [Read: 16 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship]

20. He’s a selfish guy

He’s used you, and now he’s over you. He probably hops from one girl to another. He sees no reason to stay in touch with you and pretend like he cares!

21. His phone died

Let’s be real for a minute. Phones die all the time. Of course, we’ve come to expect people to keep their phones charged when they know they’ll be away from a charging source. But people don’t actually do that.

We know that you’re desperately searching for answers for why he’s not responding, but maybe his phone died. Try to understand where he’s coming from. His phone likely died, and he just isn’t even aware you’re trying to get in touch with him.

*of course, this is valid only if he’s been ignoring you for a few hours. But then again, not texting back for a few hours or a day isn’t really called ignoring, is it?!* [Read: How to tell if a guy is playing you or using you for fun]

22. He lost his phone

This one is really rare and almost borders on excuse-territory, but it’s still possible. Instead of ignoring you, he could’ve just lost his phone. It might’ve slipped out of his pocket while eating at a restaurant, and it also could’ve just fallen out of his pocket and onto the seat of his car.

This could be a one-in-a-million chance, but people do lose their phones. 

23. He fell asleep

Okay, okay, hear us out. We know it sucks when the guy you’re texting falls asleep mid-conversation, but this happens. We’re sure you’ve experienced some tired days where you can’t help but fall asleep on the person you’re texting.

24. He left his phone behind

This is another perfectly logical reason for his unresponsiveness. He just left his phone behind. He didn’t bring it to the store, or out with friends for dinner.

Sure, it’s less logical nowadays but there are still plenty of people who don’t have their phones with them everywhere they go. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 16 steps to a better love]

25. He doesn’t have service

He can’t get your messages if he doesn’t have network or service. Depending on where he is, he could be stuck without a connection at all. If that’s the case, he’s obviously not ignoring you. He just can’t reach you.

Of course, this could easily be an excuse, which is why it’s best to wait a few days before assuming he’s ignoring you. If he’s in a no-service zone, there’s nothing he can do.

26. Something unexpected came up

You can’t know every little thing in his life. Something serious could’ve randomly come up, and he can’t get back to you. He could have been in an accident or had to rush out because someone he knows was in an accident.

Life is full of unexpected things. Don’t just assume he’s ignoring you. This might be a rare instance, but anything could happen. [Read: Being left on read – What it really means when they don’t text back]

27. You’re annoying him

When a guy ignores you, it really could be about something deeper. Honestly, you could be annoying him if you keep texting and calling.

If you’re sending text after text without a response, chill out. People don’t like responding to those who are extra needy and clingy, and not in a cute way.

So if this is you, it’s time to lay down on flooding him with texts and calls. Remember that if you’re being annoying, people will avoid talking to you. If you don’t want him to stop talking to you entirely, don’t be annoying. [Read: 12 very annoying girlfriend habits that make a guy hate his girl]

28. You upset him somehow

Maybe you made a joke and insulted him. It’s entirely possible that he’s upset with you, and so he actually is ignoring you. Think about the things you’ve said and ask yourself if there’s something you need to apologize for.

Reflect on the things you said and on the exact time when his behavior started changing. You might not realize it, but maybe you said an offensive or insensitive comment that hit him hard. [Read: 15 tips to use when your boyfriend is mad at you]

29. He’s playing hard to get

Playing hard to get isn’t an exclusive “girl” thing, so be aware that guys do this now and then too. So it’s a reasonable excuse if you’re wondering, why is he ignoring me. He could just want more attention.

Playing hard to get doesn’t typically work all that well, but he might be doing it anyways. Perhaps, he’s ignoring you to make you want him more. He’s making himself unavailable so that you end up chasing him and wanting him more. [Read: Do guys play hard to get? The honest truth, 21 reasons and what you need to do next]

30. He only wants something specific from you

Truth be told, he might only want some naughty things from you. And because of that, he won’t text you unless he actually wants to be with you one particular evening and he has nothing better to do.

If he ignores you except for late at nights, that’s the case. [Read: What is a booty call? How it’s defined in science & life]

31. He’s testing you

This is a pretty shitty thing to do, but it’s done sometimes. He might be trying to test how much you’d freak out if he stopped talking to you.

It’s like he’s baiting you to see if you’re the “crazy” type or if you’re already obsessed with him. Don’t give in to it. Keep your cool and remain unaffected if this is the reason for him ignoring you.

32. You don’t have anything interesting to say

Are you actually trying to have a conversation, or are you barely talking? If you’re only talking about the same things you always do, he might ignore you just because he’s bored with your conversations.

If you don’t share the same vibe or energy, it’s easy for the conversation to get quite boring and dull. So if you’re asking, why is he ignoring me, this could be the reason. [Read: How to not be a dry texter – Signs you’re one and the best quick-fixes]

33. He’s having a bad day

Would you rather he kept texting you but lashed out his bad mood on you, or stopped texting for a while to regain his cool? It’s probably the latter. It’s pretty mature of him if he stopped contacting you for a while for this reason.

It means he doesn’t want to project his bad mood and frustrations out on you, and he won’t text you until he’s feeling a bit better. So if he’s having a bad day, he’s probably going to ignore you for a bit.

34. He’s overthinking things

If you just recently started dating, there are a lot of things you don’t know each other yet. If he likes you a lot, it’s normal to overthink every scenario of your relationship.

Maybe he’s confused about your label, exclusivity, or where your relationship is headed. If this is the case, he needs some time to think things through about your relationship. But he’ll come back once he’s thinking more clearly. [Read: How to stop overthinking in a relationship & calm your mind down]

35. His family and friends don’t like you

If you’ve been dating for a while, this is a huge possibility when a guy ignores you. Our friends and family play a massive role in the people we choose to date.

So if you’re thinking, why is he ignoring me, it could be because of his loved ones or closest friends. Maybe they don’t think you’re a good fit for him, which is frankly a valid reason. It still sucks, but it’s an excusable reason for his behavior towards you.

36. He’s shy

Look, not all guys are confident and aggressive when talking to you. Some are highly awkward and shy, and that’s okay! So if this is him, he might just be shy.

If you’re wondering, why is he ignoring me, he’s probably just working on the courage to talk to you and have an actual conversation with you without him being nervous. [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to help him talk to you]

37. He thinks you’re too good for him

This reason completely sucks, we know, but it happens. Maybe he’s ignoring you because you’re not the type of girl he sees himself dating for the long term. He may be insecure and believe you’ll leave him for someone else anyway!

If you think girls are the only ones attracted to bad boys, think again *this can happen to guys too*! [Read: How to let a guy know you’re not out of his league and are interested in him]

So, why is he ignoring you?

There could be so many reasons behind his ignoring you, both a combination of personal and non-personal reasons. For all you know, his reasons could be completely valid such as forgetting his phone, going through something personal, or being busy with life in general.

But generally, if a guy ignores you for several days or more, even if he seems active on social media, perhaps it’s time you take a step back.

He’s probably not as interested in you as you are in him. And unless he clarifies his reasons for ignoring you with some very legitimate reason, it’s best to just ignore him right back and move on to greener pastures.

[Read: How to forget a guy and wipe his face from your memory for good]

Use these 37 reasons to answer “why is he ignoring me? And now that you can decode what’s on this guy’s mind, ask yourself if pursuing a guy who ignores you is worth the effort at the end of the day.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
A proponent of chivalry and romance, Vin Serai sees himself as a gregarious gentleman with an active imagination, who still manages to spend more time living in...