Damsel in Distress: Why Men Find Women Who Ask For Help Irresistible

There’s something about a helpless girl that men can’t resist. But why is that and how can you use this? Find out why men love a damsel in distress.

men love damsel in distress

Most women hate a damsel in distress.

Men on the other hand, can’t help falling for damsels in distress. For men, it’s just inevitable.

Every time a man sees a pretty lass who needs help, a slob of a man turns into a chivalrous knight in shining armor. Well, at least until he’s made enough of an impression to make her fall for him.

While much of the courting game of dating and falling in love depends on mutual attraction, there’s another secret force that most men and women don’t think about – the evaluation of desirability.

Do you desire a guy or does he desire you? How badly do you want to go out with this person?

Answering these questions yourself will help you understand and evaluate someone you meet as a potential date.

[Read: White Knight syndrome – 15 signs and reasons why men want to be one]

History of a damsel in distress

Throughout history, the idea of a damsel in distress is a narrative that says that a man *or men* should rescue a woman who is in trouble or perhaps even kidnapped. This leads to the concept of the “Knight in Shining Armor” who sweeps the woman off her feet.

The themes in these stories through the years are always ones of kinship, love, or lust. These things give the man the motivation and compulsion to become the hero of the narrative.

The woman may even be competent, but she still finds herself in a stressful, dangerous situation in which she must be rescued by a man. Thus, there is a sense of helplessness to these women. This leads to the sense that a man needs to take care of a woman because she can’t do it herself. [Read: 14 strongest feminine traits and where women fall on this spectrum]

Throughout the evolution of the damsel in distress stories in history, the “attacker” of the woman has many different faces. For example, they have been described as monsters, mad scientists, Nazis, aliens, robots, or any other vicious man or group.

In the end of all of these types of stories, the man “gets” the woman as a “reward.” So, the woman is, in essence, a type of trophy for her hero and savior.

Damsel in distress stories in the modern world

If you are looking for how the damsel in distress narrative has been pushed on us in the modern world, look no further than Disney movies, romantic comedies, and a million fantasy books catering to women. [Read: Dominant girlfriend – the pros and cons of dating a woman in control]

Just take the classics – Cinderella and Snow White. Both of them are in need of rescuing, and the handsome princes come to save them. So many people around the world have grown up with these movies, and it instills an ideal in both girls and boys when they are young.

You also can look at a lot of romantic comedy movies as well. The classic movie Pretty Woman is a prime example. Julia Roberts plays a prostitute who is hired by Richard Gere *who is playing a billionaire*.

He hires her for her companionship for the week, and ends up falling in love with her. In the last scene, he arrives in a white stretch limo to save her from her life as a prostitute. [Read: What is masculinity? 19 really manly traits women hope to see in you]

This is analogous to a white horse in the Disney movies. And he pulls down her fire escape and climbs up to save her, much like princes do when they climb up a castle to save a princess.

As you can see, the damsel in distress narrative has been something that both males and females have been exposed to our whole lives. So, it’s not surprising that men would actually like to become a damsel in distress’ savior in the modern world.

Why men love a damsel in distress

While courting, women like to be treated with care and respect. Men like to be treated like men.

When either sex experiences these emotions while spending time with a particular member of the opposite sex, they end up inevitably desiring the person even if there isn’t any mutual attraction to begin with.

Understand this little truth and the whole case of the damsel in distress will start to make sense to anyone. [Read: How to attract men – The irresistible secrets no one ever talks about]

1. Damsels in distress make a man feel like a real man

Throughout evolution, men have always been the protectors. Recent decades may have subdued a man and his protective streak, but his urge to be the defender and the protector of all things good still gives him a rush like no other. [Read: Masculine traits – 21 healthy and unhealthy manly characteristics]

Why else do you think men love playing fantasy video games where they play the lead character? It makes them feel good. In the real world, this guy may be a nobody, but in his fantasy video game, he’s the invincible protector and the adventurer, the knight who saves damsels and beds them *in hundreds*, and the main character who’s desired by every woman!

And just like that, in the real world, when a man sees a woman who needs help, he instinctively feels the urge to help her – not for her sake, but for his own, as in that brief moment, he feels like a hero!

2. Damsels are easily approachable

Men approach women almost all the time in the dating field. When a man finds a situation where a woman needs help, he understands two things.

One, he instinctively wants to help her. And secondly, she’s going to be easily approachable and perhaps even grateful for his help. And all men love women who are easily approachable. [Read: Why men like the chase and how to use this in your favor as a woman]

3. A man’s ego swells when he helps a girl

When a man helps a woman, shows off his brute strength to her, and gets thanked for it, he feels good about the whole thing.

He feels more powerful and happy, knowing that he was able to impress a woman with his macho abilities. And when a man feels good about himself, he’ll obviously be drawn to the damsel in distress who helped him feel better about himself.

4. Men stay longer in a relationship when they feel like men

Most men like to wear the pants in the relationship. And even if they don’t wear the pants, they want to feel like they do. With their epic egos and innate trait to protect, they want to feel like they are the driving force of the relationship.

When a man is in a relationship with a woman who behaves like she needs his protection and help, he’s always on guard when he’s with her. He instinctively becomes protective and feels more like a man. [Read: How to stroke the male ego and uncover his alpha side when he’s down]

Being in a relationship with a woman who wants him and needs him is every man’s fantasy. He feels like a demigod, he puts on his best behavior, and everyone wins.

But at the same time, there’s a thin line between needing a man and being needy. Get this wrong, and you could do more damage to the relationship than good. [Read: 21 signs of a clingy girlfriend and how to avoid turning into one]

5. It’s biology

Back in the caveman days, men had to go out and hunt the animals and drag them back to camp for the family to eat. If they didn’t do that, then everyone would starve. So, you see, men like to be this “savior.”

Women are biologically wired for caring for children and other people. They are nurturing and loving. As a cavewoman, she relied on the caveman to feed her and her children. Not only that, but she also expected him to protect them from danger. [Read: How to be the man in the relationship and achieve true manliness]

Even though we aren’t living in the caveman days anymore, our brains and biology have not evolved that far since then. We are still wired for survival, and therefore, women still want and expect men to protect them. And men want to protect women. Thus, that’s another reason men like a damsel in distress.

6. A damsel in distress is low-maintenance

Men like to be dominant – it’s another thing that is biologically programmed into them. And because of that, women tend to be more submissive. This is somewhat of a stereotype these days, but in history, this was true almost all of the time.

When a woman lets a man do what he wants without arguing with him *being submissive*, the man kind of likes it. He doesn’t have to answer to her. She requires very little from him in terms of giving her what she needs or wants. [Read: Feminine wiles – 15 ways to release your inner vixen and hook any man]

If this sounds selfish, that’s because it is. Some men like doing whatever they want, whenever they want. And if he was with a dominant woman, she would not allow him to do that. But with a damsel in distress, she will let him be the “man” in the relationship and make all the rules. And she will follow them *even if this setup is extremely unfair*.

How to be a damsel in distress but not needy

It’s easy to be the woman that you are, and yet make your man feel like a real man. All without ever being taken for granted or stepped over by a man.

Just use these tips, and you’ll definitely make him appreciate you and feel great about himself. [Read: How to flirt with a guy subtly without really flirting at all]

Remember that men love an independent woman. But they feel terrible about themselves when their woman doesn’t need them at all. You may be perfectly capable of handling everything in your life, but ask a man for a manly helping hand now and then and he’ll feel great about it *and 10 inches taller as well!*.

1. Ask him to help you in a man’s job

Are you having trouble carrying something heavy? Do you need help fixing a car, or perhaps a door hinge? Or are you feeling nervous to walk down the street after dusk? Ask a man for help.

A man likes helping a woman when he feels like he’s doing a superior job. Make him assume there’s no way you could ever have made it through without his help and his ego will swell!

He’ll definitely feel more like a man around you. And yes, he’ll desire you just for making him feel that way! [Read: How to be feminine and reveal the softer girly personality in you]

2. Thank him and don’t forget that flirty smile

While men absolutely love helping a woman in need, they are put off by women who can’t be grateful for it. If you ask a guy to help you, but don’t really show your appreciation, he may just avoid helping you or may even ignore you. No one likes being taken for granted, especially a man.

Always thank a man and compliment him when he helps you. Complimenting a man with a flirty smile and a twinkle in your eyes will definitely make his heart skip a beat. And he’ll be more than happy to help you out again. [Read: How to compliment a guy subtly and 23 ways to get him to crush on you]

3. Show off your independence

If you’re dating a guy, don’t play the damsel in distress all the time. This is very important!

Ask him for some manly help when he’s around. But when he isn’t with you, don’t call him over and ask him to help you out unless you really do need his help.

By letting him know that you’re completely capable of running your own life effortlessly without his help, he’d respect you more.

A man always loves an independent woman who doesn’t need him, but wants him. [Read: How to think like a man and impress him]

4. Drawing the line

Ask him for his help and assistance with the manly jobs, but do it only occasionally. He may love a damsel in distress, but he definitely doesn’t need an overdose of machismo. If he sees you carrying something heavy with difficulty and immediately jumps up to help you, he’s still happy with the damsel in distress in you.

But if he doesn’t budge to help you, he’s either a slob or you’ve been asking him too many favors recently. Asking a man too many favors can disgruntle him. So always remember the thin line. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and hook him hard]

Here’s the most important tip of all – Play the damsel in distress and make him feel like a man, and he’ll love you for it. Play needy and make him feel like your slave, and he’ll hate you for it.

[Read: What men find attractive in women – 18 secrets most women overlook]

And now that you know why men love a damsel in distress, go on and make some guy’s day. You’ll get the manly help you need, and he’ll feel like an alpha. And somewhere along the way, he’ll start to fall in love with you too!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...