The word ‘nice’ is seriously underrated. It’s not boring or lacking in excitement. Being nice certainly has its advantages. Everyone talks to you, you get more favors, you have more friends, and everyone loves you! When you’re nice, you might even encourage karma to do you a favor. So, don’t you want to learn how to be nice?
Of course, you do! The problem is, there’s a huge difference between being nice and being likable.
When you’re nice, you’re just that – nice. You don’t upset anyone, you don’t offend, and you’re pretty darn pleasant. However, if you’re likable, you have qualities that draw people to you. They find you amusing, respectful, easy to talk to, a good listener, etc.
Can you be both? For sure! All you need to do is make sure that when you’re learning how to be nice, you’re doing it in an authentic way. Likable people aren’t fake.
[Read: 15 unfake ways to be likeable and adored for who you are by everyone else]
Before we start delving into how to be nice, we need to really define exactly what the word means. How can you aim to be something if you don’t have a clear idea of what it is in your mind?
When you search for an actual definition, you’ll see words like ‘kind’ and ‘pleasant.’ But, does that go far enough?
[Read: How to be a better person – 13 ways to grow into a kind human]
Nice is one of those words that’s so hard to pinpoint because it’s become so ingrained in society that we no longer know exactly what it is means! For us, however, being nice means:
1. You treat others how you would want to be treated
2. You’re kind and show empathy and compassion to others
3. You’re generous with your time
4. You try your best to stay out of gossip [Read: Sabotaging your happiness – 12 ways you can ruin your life]
5. You try not to judge others
6. You’re more positive than negative and you try to smile as much as you can
7. You have a warmth about you that puts others at ease
Of course, nobody is nice 100% of the time. We all have our bad days.
So, if you want to learn how to be nice, you need to aim for the points above, do it in a genuine way, and know that being nice doesn’t mean you’re a pushover.
[Read: How to stand up for yourself – Get what you want and deserve]
Have you ever met a warm person who made you feel comfortable and relaxed within a few minutes of meeting them?
You may have felt nervous or uncomfortable to start with, but all it took was a few lines to enjoy a great conversation with this nice person.
They’re charming and great to be friends with, aren’t they?
If you want to be that person, here are a few tips on how to be nice and adored by all too! [Read: How to get someone to like you immediately]
This is a perfect start to your journey to becoming a nicer and more likable person.
Don’t be grumpy and plaster a frown on your face all the time. View the glass of life as half full. When you’re happy in your own shoes, the world will start to love you for your infectious happiness. [Read: Easy tips to be really happy in life]
Have interesting conversations with others without getting personal or intrusive. Don’t talk only about what you want to talk about or what you know of.
Be willing to indulge in conversations that others around you can relate to. [Read: How to make conversation at a party]
Most of us are so full of ourselves that we forget to think from someone else’s perspective.
If you’re with a friend who’s having lobster for the first time, empathize with that person instead of laughing while watching them fight with a hard shell.
Talk about the first time you had to crack a lobster and how it ended up falling off your table. When you make someone feel better, they’ll be grateful to you and like you more.
Avoid being rude or snappy in your retorts and responses. Don’t hurt people just because you can.
Many people take pleasure in making someone else feel weak or humiliated. Don’t be that person. [Read: How to be kind to others and to yourself and love life instead of hating it]
You may be confident and egoistical about yourself. You may take pride in your achievements or how much you make in a year.
But when you’re interacting with others, don’t bring your ego out in the open for all to see. People who are less fortunate than you in some way or another will always think you’re bragging. Be proud on the inside, but don’t brag about it.
Be happy. Don’t obsess about the bad things in life. Enjoy every moment of life and share your happiness with people around you. Positive people always have a sparkle in their eyes, and draw friends and admirers closer all the time. [Read: How to change your life and be happy in 12 steps]
As long as they respect you. If you want to know how to be nice and loved by all, you need to treat everyone around you with respect.
You have to remember that there’s always someone watching you at all times. Don’t favor a few people and be nice to them, and snap at everyone else. Unless you’re a genuinely nice person, it’s easy for people to see through your act.
Don’t favor one person unnecessarily even when you know they’re wrong. If you’re mediating a conversation or helping two people sort a difference, learn to be a person of principles. Be just and you’ll brand yourself as a nice person. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]
If you have the opportunity to help someone, go ahead and do it. Help someone fit in when they feel out of place, or help a friend when they ask for a favor that’s easy for you to help with.
A nice person isn’t nice so they can be appreciated by everyone. A nice person is nice because they’re truly a nice person.
While it’s alright to have selfish motives while doing anything, sometimes helping someone without looking for returns or favors can give you more happiness. [Read: Selfless love – 18 traits that set it apart from selfish love]
You may be smart or more aware of the world, but that should give you no excuse to treat people like they’re stupid or a waste of time, especially when they’re not able to cope with you or understand your ideas easily.
Don’t hurt someone to make a few others laugh. It may make you appear more fun to a few people, but to everyone else, you’d just be a bad person who takes pleasure in hurting someone who’s weak. [Read: 10 types of toxic friends you need to avoid]
If you want to be nice, you don’t have to put up with anything people throw at you. Get rude if you have to. But your rudeness and anger have to be justified.
People will take you more seriously, respect you and still think you’re a great person if you’re someone who takes a stand and has principles in life. Pushovers are always the ones who are taken for granted and disliked because they can’t take a stand. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t realize it]
Everyone likes a cheerful laugh. Enjoy life, spend time with others and widen that smile. Be fun and laugh out loud. You’ll feel a lot better about your everyday life and everyone around you will love your pleasant and cheerful aura.
Be hygienic, smell good, look clean and be fun. Don’t be the person people squirm to sit next to. Being nice is a great thing, but a pleasant and cheerful appearance is equally important.
The ability to show empathy means that you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes and appreciate how they’re feeling.
Don’t assume that you know every small detail and go around dishing out unwanted advice, but do your best to understand other people and try and be as sensitive and gentle with them as possible if they’re going through a hard time. [Read: How to develop empathy and master the art of growing a real heart]
Do you really know how to listen? Like, really? Most people think they do, but they miss so much of what’s being said because they’re too busy wandering off in their minds or assuming they know everything already. Really take the time to listen and watch body language for extra information.
We all gossip occasionally, but it’s only when you stop to think about it that you realize how damaging it can be. The person who is being gossiped about may be feeling really hurt and upset. Do your best to steer clear of petty gossip and labels, and instead, get to know someone for yourself.
Don’t assume you know everything. Far too many people do this. Instead, be open-minded and keen to learn more. Educate yourself on situations that you’re not sure about and don’t make snap judgments.
Ask people about their experiences and take the time to really listen. [Read: 20 Intellectual conversation topics that ignite meaningful communication]
The final and most important suggestion? Be nice because you can and because you want to, not because you’re trying to impress someone or appear superior.
Your motives will be clear for all to see, so make sure they come from a good place.
[Read: Tips to be perfect in everything you do]
Knowing how to be nice and loved by all takes a bit of time to truly understand. But use these tips and you’ll definitely notice a difference in the way people behave around you in no time!
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