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37 Girlish Secrets to Be More Feminine & Draw Others with Your Softer Side

If you want to learn how to be feminine and girlish, you can do it. For some women, it comes naturally. But if you need help, we have the answers you need.

how to be feminine and girlish

You might have been a tomboy growing up. And maybe you are still one today. There’s something about wearing a pair of sweatpants with your hair tied up that brings you true joy. This isn’t a bad thing, even though people like to think it is. But learning how to be feminine and bringing out that softer side by being girlish isn’t bad either.

Part of you might be more masculine, but another part of you might be scared to be feminine and girlish. Back when you were a teenager, you might have considered femininity a weakness. 

All those little sayings, “you throw like a girl” or “stop being a pussy” will get to you over time. So, you toughen up and become like “one of the guys.”

Being tough isn’t a bad thing either, but we all have a feminine side—even men. [Read: Divine feminine energy – what it is and how to tap into the powerhouse]

What is being feminine like? 

When a woman is feminine, she has a certain balance of behaviors, attributes, and biological and social characteristics of a typical woman.

Some people say that being feminine is also a state of mind, set of beliefs, and way of living. Basically, it’s a style or way of doing things. It comes from a combination of factors.

There are some people who think that being feminine is a flaw because it represents weakness and being less worthy than a man. But that’s not true at all. [Read: Strongest feminine traits and where women fall on this spectrum]

Being feminine is beautiful and should be celebrated and respected.

What traits make a woman feminine? 

Everyone has a different answer for what makes a woman feminine. However, there are some common traits that define femininity.

In general, women who are feminine tend to be more expressive, intuitive, and nurturing than men. They also care more about relationships. [Read: Mars and Venus? Obvious gender differences in communication]

Being feminine also involves caring about trying to look your best and have a sense of style. They make themselves look classy through clothes and makeup.

Overall, feminine women have good human qualities such as kindness, affection, understanding, and sensitivity. 

Why should you be more feminine?

Femininity is attractive to most people, but especially men. So why wouldn’t you want to be more feminine? After all, it means that more men will be drawn to you. [Read: How to awaken your divine feminine and connect to your inner goddess]

Also, being more feminine just feels good. You’ll be more confident in yourself as you move through the world. It will also make you appear kinder and warmer to other people.

And let’s face it—being a feminine woman just makes life easier. Most people expect women to be feminine, so you can make more friends and network more easily than if you are more masculine.

Being feminine will also give you a huge advantage in dating. Men like to date more feminine women, so it is a great opportunity for you to gain more power in the dating game. [Read: 45 secrets to get a boyfriend and tips to find the perfect man of your dreams]

How to be feminine and girlish without overdoing it

Are you wanting to learn how to be feminine? If so, that’s great. But you might have no idea what to do. Putting on make-up might be almost foreign to you. 

And becoming feminine might not be easy for you. But if you’re here, you want to put in the effort and change. Good for you. 

We’re here to help you out and put you on the right path to reconnecting with your feminine side. Let’s bring that softer side out. [Read: Girly stuff stereotype – 21 typical things not all girls like]

1. Free your mind

You probably didn’t think this was going to be a step, but it is. If you want to reconnect with your feminine side and want to know how to be feminine, you need to free your mind. 

Being feminine is about being free. Stop focusing on how you’re not feminine enough or what femininity is to everyone else. Instead, just focus on doing what makes you feel comfortable and happy. [Read: 48 real secrets to change your life and find the right path when you’re lost]

2. Become more vulnerable

We always assume vulnerability is being weak, but it’s not. Being vulnerable is about opening yourself up. If you’re always acting tough, your guard is constantly up. 

You’ll never be able to let people into your life. Bring that wall down and reconnect with yourself. [Read: 19 reasons why we’re afraid to open up to people and steps to overcome it]

3. Receive compliments and help

Having someone hold a door open for you isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you’re weak; it shows respect and politeness. 

Instead of responding rudely, accept the help and kind gesture. If someone compliments you, accept the compliment by saying, “thank you.”

4. Practice self-care

This doesn’t mean you need to wax your whole body and get your nails done. Remember, physical appearance is only a small fraction of what being feminine means. Instead, practice self-care. [Read: Love yourself first – where people go wrong, 36 whys, and how to do this right]

Do things for yourself that make you happy. If you enjoy reading a book while taking a bath, do that. If you like yoga or going for walks, do those activities.

5. Don’t shy away from makeup

Natural beauty is very important, but so is enhancing it. There is no need to slap on tons of makeup to look good. 

Tailor your look to go with the time of day and the sort of event you are attending. [Read: Bedroom eyes – what they are and secrets to master the art of seductive eyes]

As a rule of thumb, your makeup bag should contain these essentials: natural mineral veil powder, eyeliner, bronzer, mascara, and lip gloss.

6. You don’t always need to layer on make-up

On the other hand, many people believe femininity is all about make-up. It’s not. Sure, you can wear make-up and look more feminine, but femininity comes from within. 

Whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident. If applying Chapstick is a big step for you, stick to that. You don’t need to pile make-up on your face. [Read: Feminine wiles – 26 secrets to unleash your inner vixen and hook any man]

7. Don’t be afraid to try new things

Being feminine isn’t about waiting at home for your partner with dinner ready on the table. That doesn’t make you feminine. 

If you want to reconnect with this side of yourself, try new things. If you’re more sporty, try something that’s completely opposite. Try painting or writing; explore your emotional side.

8. Dress like a lady

If you want to be a lady, then you have to dress like one. Steer clear from unflattering and formless clothes like baggy jeans and frumpy t-shirts. Don more skirts, dresses, and figure-flattering outfits. [Read: How to dress sexy – 29 subtle and classy ways to make them lust for you]

Whether you opt for blood red or robin blue, don’t worry too much about the color palette as a real lady should be able to pull off any color, so long as it doesn’t clash with her skin tone or hair color. 

One very important tip: stay away from neon, unless you are attending a rave.

9. Explore different clothes

You might never wear high heels. Maybe when you put them on, you feel like you walk like a horse. But, if you wear them, you will feel sexy and confident. [Read: How to be hot – tips to revamp and reveal the hot and sexy you]

Now, of course, don’t wear them all the time. But try something new because you might like it. Don’t be afraid to try new styles out; you may find something that you like.

10. Don’t be afraid to accessorize

Do not be afraid to brighten up your wardrobe with splashes of accessories. From silk headbands to solitaire diamond earrings, keep things simple and classy, so that they don’t draw attention away from your outfit as a whole. 

If you want to go for costume jewelry, be sure that they don’t look cheap, and don’t hesitate to spend more on them than you normally would.

11. Tone down the swearing

You might talk like a sailor. But if you want to be more feminine, you need to clean up your language. This isn’t even about being feminine; it’s about looking mature and classy. [Read: 27 subtle ways to be more graceful and elegant with your body and behavior]

12. Don’t gossip

Becoming feminine isn’t about making yourself feel good by pushing other people down. Being feminine is about working on yourself. You don’t need to judge or gossip about other women. Remember, this is about you, not them.

13. Care about things you care about

Sure, that might sound a little confusing. But if you want to be feminine, drop the whole aggressive or indifferent act. 

It’s okay to show you care about things that mean something to you. It’s okay to show your emotions. This doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken. [Read: 55 secrets and self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]

14. Let go

This is an important step you need to take. If you want to truly become feminine, let go of other people’s expectations and opinions. 

Live your life and free yourself from judgment. Once you let go and accept who you are, you’ll be able to connect with your feminine side and show your femininity. [Read: How to attract men – the irresistible secrets no one talks about!]

15. No boy haircuts, please

Although there are plenty of feminine women out there who have beautiful short hair *think of Audrey Tatou and Halle Berry*, there is no denying that if you want to amp up your game and become more ladylike, let your hair grow long.

Not everyone can pull off short hair without looking like a tomboy. Healthy lustrous locks are perhaps the most well-known feminine trait in the world. From sweet Disney heroines to svelte supermodels, long hair is the way to go.

16. Maintain a healthy body weight

There is a fine line between being healthy and overweight and being slim versus skinny. [Read: 26 secrets to get motivated to workout and exercise your way to a better life]

To give you an idea of just what makes a woman healthily curvy, look up Marilyn Monroe and Monica Bellucci. However, it’s true that not everyone can look like them.

There are women out there who, try as they might, find it hard to gain weight, whereas there are others out there who partake in every diet fad to hit the market and still end up piling on the pounds. 

At the end of the day, exercise for at least 40 minutes a day and eat right. Your ideal body shape will emerge in no time at all.

17. Don’t be loud and rowdy

Ever come across a beautiful and feminine-looking woman at a restaurant, and felt absolutely charmed by the way she looked, ate, and behaved? [Read: 31 hot secrets to be beautiful and look and feel way more attractive in no time!]

Got completely turned off the moment she opened her mouth and amplified her opinions to the entire restaurant? Leave the noise-making and rowdy behavior to frat boys, and start lowering your volume when you’re out in public.

No one likes a loudmouth, even less so when she’s drunk and can’t control her verbal diarrhea. 

Unless you are giving a speech or presentation, ensure that your voice does not carry past the person next to you. [Read: Classy ways to stand out from the crowd]

18. Don’t feign intelligence

Another way to be more feminine is to listen a lot more than you speak, especially if you’re unfamiliar with the subject matter. 

There is nothing worse than watching someone dig their own grave trying to act like a know-it-all when they clearly have no idea what they’re talking about.

The people you’re trying to have a conversation with will call you on your bluff and you will end up looking like a fool. [Read: 30 deep, thought-provoking questions that will leave you curious and wondering]

With that being said, if you know what you’re talking about then go right ahead and impress them all. But if you don’t, opt to listen and learn instead.

19. Be flirtatious and playful

It will do you well not to confuse being bitchy and being feminine, so don’t give people the cold shoulder. Be flirtatious and playful with those around you, especially if they’re members of the opposite sex. 

However, remember not to overdo it as you may risk alienating the women around you. Befriend the women by exuding charm and confidence instead. [Read: The all-in woman’s guide to making eye contact with men]

20. Shower daily

Hygiene should be everyone’s number one priority, even more so for you if you want to be more feminine. Nothing is more disgusting than a sloppy woman with stringy hair bordering on accidental dreadlocks.

Take the time to shower at least once a day, either in the morning before you leave the house or before bed. Always smell as clean and fresh as you can and don’t forget to apply lightly scented lotion and a spritz of perfume before you start your day.

21. Groom yourself

Bathing is not enough if you want to maintain a high level of femininity. Be sure to invest the time and money into grooming yourself well. Don’t bother with sloppy DIY wax jobs. [Read: At home bikini waxing – 35 must-know DIY secrets and tips for first-timers]

Head to a salon and get them all taken care of by a professional. From eyebrow threading and Brazilian waxing to spa pedicures and much-needed facials, the sky is the limit when it comes to keeping yourself in tip-top condition.

22. Place fresh flowers at home

It is not just about looking feminine, it is also about living and breathing the part. One way to do so is to surround yourself with beauty. 

You should place fresh flowers at home, so that every time you arrive or leave, you are reminded that you are a beautiful woman with the world at her feet. [Read: 22 romantic flowers that are favorites with women]

From daisies to lilies, it is up to you what you want to bring into your home.

23. Learn to dance

Enough with the dirty dancing already. Play with your feminine prowess, and sign up for a course that will teach you everything from salsa to ballroom dancing. 

It is always a good idea to know a little bit of everything, as it’ll give you the chance to wow your audience if there’s ever any need for it. [Read: 18 secrets to give a sexy lap dance and leave your man wet in his shorts]

Not just that, dancing is a great workout and will give you an excuse to exercise in a fun and sexy way.

24. Invest in beautiful lingerie

It doesn’t matter that no one is going to see what’s underneath your clothes. All that matters is that you know it’s there. Nothing is worse than ugly granny panties or worn-out bras that have seen far too many washing machine cycles.

Want to know what’s possibly worse than that? Visibly saggy tits and muffin tops. Invest in proper lingerie and make sure you wear them, not stash them. [Read: Lingerie selfie – how to perfect the art of foreplay from afar]

25. Be gentle and kind

One way to be more feminine is to be gentle and kind to everyone you cross paths with. 

From your superior to the homeless man on your street corner, be nice to people and the world will send it back to you in ways that you could never imagine. [Read: What guys look for in a girl – 26 things men like more than appearances]

26. Stop competing with others

Jealousy is one of the least feminine traits that a woman can possess. Although it’s far simpler to be envious instead of happy for someone else’s success, be sure that you try hard and always remember that there is no point in competing with other people. 

You will garner success if you work hard for it. In the meantime, stop competing with others and just be happy for them. [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]

27. Be polite

Politesse is the key to being a feminine and well-respected woman. Never forget to say please and thank you, and never raise your voice in public. 

Treat everyone as an equal and never think that you are above anyone else. If you fall into this trap, it is a sign of bad breeding, and all hopes of you being a classy and feminine woman will go flying out the window. [Read: Easy ways to avoid a first impression catastrophe]

28. Set some standards

Be picky about whom you spend your time with—meaning sleep with. Say no to one-night stands and never be easy. Let him woo you, chase you and shower you with everything you deserve. 

One of the key traits of being a lady is not about how well you play the game, but whether you can do it with standards. This is, by far, the best way to filter out the guys who just want to use you. [Read: 25 simple ways to calmly deal with difficult people]

29. Smile often

No one likes a sourpuss, so be sure that you smile often and exude happiness. You’re not an angsty teenager anymore, so don’t behave that way. [Read: Negative Nancy – what makes one, 18 traits, and ways to deal with their attitude]

Being happy is a definite sign of femininity and shows the world that you are positive and excited about your day. This massive dose of positivity will be sure to melt the hearts of even your biggest critics.

30. Do your eyebrows

Eyebrows are more important than you think. They shape your face and frame your eyes. [Read: How to flirt with your eyes and grab anyone’s attention in the room]

So, you really shouldn’t let them get bushy, because that’s not attractive. Shape them and brush them with some good eyebrow products or have them done professionally.

31. Smell good

Smelling good is a very attractive and feminine quality. Choose a good brand that smells delicate and sweet. 

You might want to try floral scents or anything else that appeals to you. Whatever you choose, you need to smell great. [Read: How to pick the perfect perfume and smell great!]

32. Hang out with your girls

When you want to learn to be more feminine, you should surround yourself with your girls. Their feminine energy will radiate and wear off on you, too. 

Have a girls’ day out, have fun, and feel great. Having fun and being silly can be a great feminine quality.

33. Look after your mental health

Of course, it’s important to look good when you want to be more feminine, but don’t forget about your mental health too. Let go of negative thoughts and emotions. [Read: Positive self-talk – what it is, where it comes from, and how to master it]

You’ll project more positive energy and smile more. Being feminine starts within yourself and oozes outward.

34. Allow yourself to receive

Most women like to receive gifts and compliments—especially in a romance. But it doesn’t even matter what kind of relationship it is. Just allow yourself to receive from others.

So, whether it’s letting your partner support and comfort you or letting your kids hug you, be open to receiving. Indulge yourself in these things. You deserve it, right? [Read: Decoding compliments – 50 cute words and their true meaning]

35. Shield yourself from the elements

There are several reasons you want to shield yourself from the elements. First, it’s not very feminine or attractive to get caught in the rain and look like a drowned rat. And having dry, cracked skin in the cold isn’t good either.

So, don’t forget to wear gloves and use umbrellas depending on the weather. You will preserve your clothes and your hair when you do.

36. Steer away from dirt and filth

Have you ever seen a feminine woman who looks dirty and unkempt? Well, with the exception of female mud wrestlers, the answer is probably no. [Read: Girly girl guide – 20 tomboy tweaks to be unapologetically girly]

So, make sure you wash your hands, keep your nails clean, and don’t look like you just got done working on a car. A dirty woman is not a feminine one.

37. Don’t be seen chugging beer, hogging food, or picking fights

Sure, you might like to party and have fun. There is nothing wrong with that! But chugging beer, being loud, hogging food, or picking fights is not feminine.

So, you might want to stick with a glass of wine or a cosmopolitan if you want to drink. Those cocktails are much more feminine and will make you look more like a lady. [Read: 45 positive and negative personality traits that can change your life forever]

Being feminine doesn’t mean being more passive

When we think of men and women in a stereotypical way, we think men are the active ones and women are more passive. But being feminine doesn’t have to equal being passive.

While being feminine does involve things like being receptive and receiving from others, it’s not a bad skill to have. Anyone can be passive and receptive—not just women.

Receptivity helps you be more vulnerable, and, therefore, human. It’s not just about possessing feminine energy. [Read: 17 confident ways to be more assertive and speak your mind loud and clear]

There are plenty of feminine women in the world who are also assertive. Now, being assertive is different from being aggressive—which you don’t want to be. Being assertive is valuing yourself and standing up for what you believe in. 

And that can be feminine as much as it can be masculine. 

Being soft and feminine doesn’t mean you give up being masculine

Women have both feminine and masculine energy. And men have both kinds of energy too. It’s just that most women have more feminine than masculine, and for men, it’s the opposite. [Read: Masculinity vs. femininity – which side do you think is stronger?]

In other words, being masculine or feminine isn’t gender dependent. You can have a man who has more feminine energy and a woman who has more masculine energy.

So, just because you want to be more feminine doesn’t mean you should suppress your masculine energy. It’s just about re-distributing it and re-balancing it. You can still be as masculine as you want when you’re by yourself.

But when you’re with other people, try to get into the habit of bringing out more femininity. After all, you are a woman… so why not? 

[Read: How to be a lady – 23 classy women traits that awe everyone else]

If you practice some of these tips for how to be feminine and girlish on a daily basis, you’ll slowly reconnect with your feminine side. It’ll take time, so be patient with yourself.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...