Home  >  Flirting Flings  >  Get Flirty

How to be Mysterious without Being Too Distant

how to be mysterious

It’s always the mysterious ones that leave you wanting more. Here’s how you can have that air of mystery as you traverse through the dating game.

We always want what we can’t have, and when we find someone to be mysterious, it means they are alluring, and we can’t figure them out. And that’s exactly why we keep wanting more – so that we can understand them. When you have that air of mystery, you leave potential partners scrambling for clues to find out more about you. And we all have an inner Nancy Drew inside of us somewhere.

The mysterious ones are always a challenge. They leave people puzzled and confused, but ultimately also attracted to what they can’t figure out. It’s like being a bit of a tease, but they’re playing with your mind so well that you won’t be able to stop thinking about them. Now isn’t that a really fun yet effective strategy that you can use in your dating life?

How to be more mysterious

If you want to come across as a mystery yourself, but also want to make sure you don’t scare off your potential partner without appearing distant, try these tips below.

#1 Don’t respond right away. If you want to be mysterious to the person you’re talking to, a very easy way to do so is to not respond to every text and/or call right away. I know, with technology, we are always all so tuned in that it can be hard to avoid replying to someone immediately.

But if you want to appear mysterious, then start by not replying to a text or call as soon as you receive it. Wait a half hour, or even a couple of hours. You’re not actually ignoring them, you’re just living your life, and are so busy doing other things that you couldn’t respond right away. That’s the opposite of clingy, and we all know that being clingy isn’t a good look. [Read: The real reason behind why getting someone to chase you works so well]

#2 Don’t always be available. Along with not responding right away, if your guy or girl asks you to hang out or do something, don’t always say yes. Instead, say yes some of the time. If you don’t feel like doing something, then don’t do it. No one is forcing you to do so. Besides, when you two finally hang out, you’ll probably enjoy it even more because you’re not always together. [Read: 10 awful dating habits that are keeping you single]

#3 Less is more. Just because you meet someone you are into and excited about, doesn’t mean you have to tell them your entire life story in the first 30 minutes of meeting one another. Less is more, and in this case, a lot less is more. If you want your mysterious-ness freak flag to fly, then remember to become a great listener, and do less of the talking.

You can talk about yourself, but you don’t have to name all the girlfriends you went to see a movie with or all the guys who are still hung up on you. Instead, you can say something like “Yeah, I like to go on movie dates,” or “Yeah, sometimes, I still get calls from guys I went out with.” Keep it short, keep it simple, and they’ll go nuts trying to find out more about you. [Read: How to be a sexy seductress without making it obvious]

#4 Be unique. When you have your own sense of style, it means you have your own look, and you definitely don’t look like everyone else around you. It means you set your own stage. If you want to be mysterious, then be the unique you that you’ve always been.

Don’t blend in with everyone else. Stand out from the crowd by wearing that outrageous outfit you’ve always wanted to wear. Change your hair color. Express an unpopular opinion. Be who you really are without feeling the pressure to just go with the flow all the time. That guy or gal you’re into will definitely be intrigued by the way you’re not fazed by the opinion of others. [Read: 10 ways you can stand out from the crowd]

#5 Use your sense of humor. One thing people love is someone that can make them laugh. If you have always thought of yourself as being pretty witty, then it’s your time to shine. You don’t have to be sarcastic or make knock-knock jokes all the time because that can be really annoying *which is the complete opposite of mysterious*, but it is good to use it from time to time to keep things interesting.

Most of the time when people ask something like “what’s up?” they are used to getting the typical reply of “not much, what about you?” So if that’s how conversations always go with someone you’re into, hit them up with a witty one-liner or remark. It’s not something they receive every day, and it’ll perk them right up because they got a response and a prelude to a clever conversation. Win-win! [ Read: The complete guide to being funny and making people love your company]

#6 Be confident. Who wants to be around an insecure person? I’ll tell you: no one. Confidence is always sexy, always. It adds to the air of mystery because the one you like might start to wonder where you’re getting all your confidence from. Why are you so secure in yourself? Why do you always look and act like no one can knock you down? Why are you so damn sexy?

When you want to exude an aura of mysteriousness, you’re not out to tease them, hurt them, and especially not to push them away, but you do want to keep them on their toes wondering about you, who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, and everything else in between. [Read: The socially awkward person’s guide to flirting]

Being mysterious instantly adds more charisma points. Instead of going all out and throwing yourself at someone, let them be lured in by your mysterious allure!

Liked what you just read? Like us on Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Charley Reid
Charley Reid
Follow Charley on

Don't Miss this!


Latest in LovePanky


2 thoughts on “How to be Mysterious without Being Too Distant”

  1. tink says:

    mystery is always the aim of most because it keeps the other wanting more. It’s so hard to pull off because yes, there’s a fine line between being mysterious and being distant. I find it hard to distinguish if you are being mysterious or just distant because they are really too alike. I have had this problem ever since because even myself, I didn’t know if I’m being mysterious or if I want to get away from something and act distant. I have been a confused kid before and even until now. I guess I didn’t outgrow that, huh? Well from my standpoint right now, I am trying to be mysterious per se because of a girl I really like. I don’t want to come off as distant to her but I just want to be someone she wants to know better. You know? Or maybe do you think it’s better to just talk to her? I feel like I’m really better at saying something than just sitting there silently. I’ll just call her up to see what she’s up to right now. Guess what? I have a date tonight and it’s all because I had the guts to call her. Wow, never thought commenting here would make such a breakthrough in my life. Thank you lovepanky. I always go here when I need advice and so far you guys don not disappoint. You have articles for everything and you have that handy search tool bar too and it’s awesome. Well, I guess I better prepare for my date tonight and I better not be mysterius anymore, I’ll just have to be close to her and get to know her really better because I really want to.

  2. Thomas says:

    It took me a long time to wrap my head around not replying right away. I mean, it’s the polite thing to do when you have a moment, right? Well, I soon found out what it was actually doing to me: making me seem like I don’t have a life. Now that I’m more put together (have a job, hobbies, etc), I actually don’t have the time to reply straight away, so everything naturally kind of falls into place for this tip and now my dating life has hugely improved. It’s definitely worth keeping in mind.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *