I’ve often likened missionary sex to oatmeal, because, even though it’s nourishing, no one wants to have it every day. Full disclosure: it’s harder to climax in this position than in others like doggy style. Also, when compared to more involved positions like The Eagle and The Necklace of Venus, missionary is boring. At least, I thought it was boring before I discovered these eight little gems that will have you singing missionary’s praises *hopefully in falsetto*.
[Read: The 11 worst mistakes women make in bed]
How to make the missionary position more pleasurable
Though many people think that there’s nothing more to be done with this seemingly bland position, these 8 tips will surely prove them wrong!
#1 Get your props. Sex should be fun, right? There’s always a way to inject excitement into even the most boring escapade. An easy way to incorporate a healthy bit of fun into your missionary romp is with a few props. This is an excellent starting point for spicing things up. You don’t necessarily have to change your position or thrusting patterns, as small changes are like a gateway drug for further sexual experimentation.
Anyway, what’s more fun than props? Not much.
The next time your honey’s on top, drape a necktie or the belt of your bathrobe over his hips and hold on to each end. As he thrusts into or grinds against you, pull yourself into him to increase the depth of penetration. You’ll get pleasure from the pressure this prop places in the palms of your hands.
#2 Tease with toys. A recent study showed that while 37% of women call missionary their favorite position, only 12% achieve an orgasm while they’re there. Though the face-to-face angles allow for the intimacy we crave, traditional missionary just isn’t conducive to clitoral or g-spot stimulation. This means that 88% of the time, he’s just knockin’ around down there.
If you fit into that 37%, consider adding a toy *or two* the next time you and your lover play. Ask your lover to slip on a vibrating pleasure ring. The ring’s vibrations will give you all the clitoral stimulation you need, and its snug fit will keep your lover harder for longer.
If your guy isn’t into pleasure rings, pocket rockets or bullet vibes are always an option. There are also tons of vibrators that are specifically designed for missionary sex. We Vibe makes vibrators that stimulate both your clit and g-spot, while allowing your partner to slip in simultaneously. How is this not a win?
If your honey is a little insecure when it comes to adding toys to your next rendezvous, just show him the stats. Explain that it’s not easy to cum while you’re in missionary and toys will help. It’s no big deal, and he shouldn’t feel threatened while trying to please you. If he still gives you a hard time…
#3 Show him your C.A.T. The coital alignment technique or C.A.T. is a small adjustment that allows for maximum clitoral stimulation during missionary sex. While he’s on top, scooch down a few inches until the base of his penis is aligned with your clit and pointing slightly downward. Wrap your legs around his thighs, and then press your genitals together and rock back and forth. You won’t be disappointed.
#4 Take it to the head. It sounds strange, but dangling with your head and shoulders off of the bed has been known to intensify orgasms. Start by having traditional missionary sex. As you feel yourself coming, slide the upper portion of your body over the edge of the bed.
The rush of blood to the head will give you a euphoric tingle from head to toe. Be mindful of any lightheadedness or dizziness, though. If you stay in this position for too long, you may pass out.
#5 Pull it in. If you’d like your lover to explore your lusty depths, bring your knees into your chest the next time you find yourself on your back. Once he enters you, rest your calves on his shoulders, have him prop himself up on his hands, and enjoy the ride.
In this position, he’s in control, which can be nice every once in a while. He’ll stroke places you didn’t know you had and, if you’re up for it, transition seamlessly into anal. Who knew missionary could be so adventurous?
#6 Switch your style up. If you’re tired of the same old stroke, talk to your honey about changing some of his thrusting patterns. When you’ve been with someone for a long time, sex can become a bit routine. Something as simple as mixing in a few teasing thrusts with his usual long strokes can keep things interesting between the sheets.
As women, we have to be proactive in our own pleasure. That said, you can always take control by grabbing your honey by the butt, pulling him deep inside, and grinding against him until he hits the spot. He’ll get a kick out of the way you take charge, and you’ll get an orgasm. [Read: 10 reasons to have sex every single day]
#7 Hop in the whip. Sometimes, it’s not what you do, but where you do it. It sounds a bit juvenile, but having sex in the back seat of your car can be just as hot now as it was when you were a teenager. The ever-present elements of danger and surprise are still major turn-ons. Maybe you’ll get caught in a compromising position, but that’s half the fun!
Lay on your back in the back seat, and have your lover bend your knees and climb on top. Place your feet on the ceiling of the car for leverage, and take your lover for a spin. The resistance between your legs and the roof provides a tension that compliments your lover’s strokes perfectly.
#8 Keep it under “lock and key.” I know what you’re thinking, and I’m sorry to disappoint you, but there are no handcuffs involved this time. “Lock and key” is actually a missionary remix that puts you in complete control of your pleasure. It’s simple, satisfying, and spicier than you may expect.
Lay on your back, just as you would during missionary sex. Your lover then kneels between your legs, bends at the waist, and props himself up on straightened arms. Now, wrap your legs around his hips, and then lift your hips, and guide him inside of you. See? That wasn’t hard at all!
This variation is cool because that luscious leg lock you’ve got going lets you control how deep your lover thrusts. You’re in an excellent position to show him how well you wind. Also, from this angle, he’s got an exquisite view of your body, which I’m confident he’ll appreciate.
I’ll admit it that I was wrong to have been so dismissive. I still think missionary is the oatmeal of all of the sex positions, but if you add a bit of cinnamon, it becomes more enticing. [Read: 15 dirty ways to have the best rough sex ever]
While missionary still isn’t my favorite position, these eight hacks have placed it back onto my top ten list. As with just about anything in life, a few simple adjustments and a bit of imagination can make even a mundane missionary romp magical.
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