Lesbian Sex: 23 Positions, Girl-On-Girl Sex Secrets, Myths & Other Must-Knows

Have you ever wondered how do lesbians have sex? You’re not alone! Learn the facts and separate them from the many myths floating around. 

How do lesbians have sex - lesbian sex positions

While in discussions with friends, we will happily chat in great detail about our sex lives. Despite this, the taboo of lesbian sex continues to be prevalent. How do lesbians have sex, exactly? And, what are the most common lesbian sex positions?

These are common questions.

If you are a lady thinking about having sex with a woman for the first time or are just plain curious as to how it all works, rest assured that you are not alone. [Read: 21 main types of lesbians, their preferences, and ways to tell them apart]

How does lesbian sex work?

It is important to be able to freely and openly talk about lesbian sex. Having an open mind and listening properly will keep this topic from being shrouded in mystery, awkwardness, or fear of offending. Then, it will be considered the wonderful, fulfilling, awesome thing it is.

One question that is likely to frustrate any lesbian when prying into her sex life is actually questioning whether she has one at all.

If you want to learn about lady action, that’s one thing, but use your common sense and try not to go into the conversation totally clueless. Sex happens in a huge number of ways, and who are we to judge what “counts” and what doesn’t?

Girl-on-girl relationships can enjoy sex lives as varied and exciting as straight couples do. There are countless lesbian sex positions out there. All that’s missing is the penis. [Check out: Top ten female fantasies]

Women can have penetrative sex, oral sex, anal sex, and all the other good stuff. They might need a helping hand from time to time, but hey—who doesn’t?

Is one person ‘the man’ when it comes to lesbian sex?

This question may be met with scorn if you ask a lesbian couple, but it is something that many people often wonder about.

Again, it is all about normalizing lesbian sex and realizing that it is not that much different from the sex that straight people enjoy. Okay, so there may be some couples where one partner likes to be more in control, but again, that is the same in heterosexual relationships.

Generally, if you are thinking about guy-on-girl sex, is one of them always dominant? Does the guy always go on top? Didn’t think so. [Read: 18 empowering reasons to love being a lesbian]

Surprise, surprise—it is the same with lesbian sex. It’s all down to what they feel like at the time. They switch it up and enjoy it just the same.

People often assume that lesbian sex must be better since women know women’s bodies and instinctively know which buttons to press to give pleasure and that they must be having hot, passionate, orgasm-filled shag sessions day in and day out.

The truth is that practice makes perfect. Sex can be awkward, messy, embarrassing, and hilarious, and no two women are the same.

That awesome thing you can do with your tongue may rock one lady’s world, but might be ticklish or just plain weird for another. Communicating, experimenting, and having fun are what it is all about, for everyone. [Check out: What are you feeling? Is it love or lust?]

Why do some lesbians have sex with girls who essentially look like men?

This is a hugely common question and not an unfair one. It can be difficult for a heterosexual person to understand the appeal of having a sexual relationship with a girl who has short hair, wears no makeup, and dresses very masculinely.

“Why not just get out there and find yourself a nice young man?” they cry. To this, we respond, “Did your mama never tell you that looks aren’t everything?”

Straight people hook up for a myriad of reasons, and lesbians are no different. Connection on an emotional level is hugely important to many people. If they don’t have an emotional connection with guys, they might find they do with girls, which makes them super attractive—whether they look masculine or not.

[Read: The answers to dumb questions people ask lesbians]

What kinds of toys do lesbians use?

The sex toy market is seriously big business. However, that doesn’t mean that every lesbian couple in the world is rushing out to buy the biggest strap-on they can find to fill the hole *pun intended* left by an absent penis.

Some ladies enjoy experimenting with all kinds of toys, games, and gadgets, and others do not. That’s just the way it is.

It’s really no different from a straight couple experimenting with toys. [Read: Must-have couple’s sex toys for naughty first timers]

I find girls hot, am I a lesbian?

The lesbian fantasy is incredibly common, and one that is shared by a number of straight women all over the world.

However, just because you like the idea of getting frisky with a lovely lady, that doesn’t mean you should dump your boyfriend, tell your parents you’re gay and rush out to the nearest lesbian disco to find what you are looking for. 

It is important to remember that fantasies are just that: some of them you might want to act on, and some of them are perfect for simply getting you in the mood to have sex with your partner, whoever that may be.

But, if you feel you might be a lesbian, exploring the idea further might bring you the clarity you need. [Read: Sure ways to tell if you’re really bi-curious]

Do lesbians have one-night stands?

Of course they do! If you have ever been to a gay nightclub in any big city, then you’ll already know that the answer to this question is 100%, absolutely, a resounding, big, fat yes.

Not all lesbians want to fall into relationships so they can walk around, complimenting each other’s dresses, braiding each other’s hair, and watching re-runs of their favorite shows.

They are horny, flesh and blood, sexually enlightened human beings. That means if they want to down six tequilas and have a night of hot, passionate love-making with someone they may or may not regret in the morning, they will! [Next, read: 15 big lesbian myths most people in the world still believe]

Lesbian sex positions that will blow you away

There is more to lesbian sex positions than grinding your bodies together. In fact, it can be both an art and a science. There are different approaches to pleasing your partner, and here, we break them down for you. [Read: Reasons why lesbian porn is way, way hotter than straight porn]

1. Apples and pears

In this position, you lie down together in a 69 position, kissing each other’s breasts. You can rub your breasts against each other and mimic each other’s actions.

This is a perfect technique to intensify your passions before you move on to other positions.

2. Scissoring

A famous lesbian sex position, this is done by alternating your legs against each other while the two of you are lying in bed.

This opens up both your vulvas to each other’s so that your clitorises are exposed and can be easily stimulated by your partner.

3. Bedspread

You *or your partner* sits on the edge of the bed while you get into the scissor position, exposing your crotches to each other.

Bump your groins together to stimulate each other, while you and your partner become wet and your clitorises become engorged.

4. Backside venus

Best done with blindfolds so you can both concentrate on the tactile aspect of the act, this position requires that you position your bum onto your partner’s crotch.

She opens up your butt cheeks to expose your anus, and she rubs her clitoris on your anus, maintaining full contact and intense friction. [Read: Dry humping and the art of experiencing multiple orgasms]

5. Buttocking

The butt is an erogenous zone, as it is where the intergluteal cleft is found, just above the anus. This spot is packed with nerve endings, so the best way to stimulate it is by making your partner lay face down on the bed, with you straddling her, pounding your vulva on her anus, and stimulating her cleft with your clit.

You can add some lube for more intense contact, and slide up and down and side to side.

6. All over

This is one of the best foreplay tools you can use, especially if you want to get better acquainted with your partner’s body, and find out what turns her on the most.

Here, you stroke her all over her body, from her face to her breasts, to her butt, and to her thighs.

You can take your time and kiss each other as you explore each other’s bodies. [Check out: Top gay-friendly vacation hot spots on earth]

7. Fingersmithing

In this position, you sit with one arm holding your weight as your partner straddles your open leg. Both of you reach for each other’s vulvas as you explore the crevices and folds of your labias with hands and fingers.

You both gently stroke each other’s clitorises as you kiss, and penetrate each other with your fingers. You can mirror each other’s movements and heighten the speed and pressure as pleasure builds up.

8. Deep pampering

In this lesbian sex position, one gets pampered with deep penetration. You or your partner will kneel on the bed or on the floor, with her butt up in the air and her chest on the floor so that her crotch is open to you.

You then finger her as you kneel next to her, deeply thrusting your fingers into her wide-open vagina. [Read: Things to know to make vaginal fisting safer and sexier]

9. Fanny jam

Another open position that gives you plenty of room to explore your partner is the fanny jam. Here, you can lie down as your partner kneels atop your chest, her legs wide open.

You then explore her with your hands and fingers, stroking and caressing her clitoris and penetrating her.

10. Up yours

With this position, you use both hands to simultaneously explore her pussy and her anus. Fingering both stimulates the erogenous zones such as the G-spot in the vagina and the anus itself, which is very sensitive.

You can use your fingers to do this, moving in various strokes and speeds to excite your partner and intensify her orgasms. [Read: How to tingle a girl’s g-spot without using a flashlight]

11. Mole muff diving

To fully concentrate on the sensations that your partner gives you *and vice versa*, you can blindfold each other as you grope and stroke each other and get into position. As the giver, you can have your partner lie on her back and you kiss down her body slowly until you reach her jewels.

By this time, you let your tongue and lips do the work. Be sure to hone into your partner’s body language to find out exactly how she likes to be eaten. [Read: Little tips and tricks that’ll make her love the way you go down on her]

12. Octopussy sixty-nine

A lesbian-style sixty-nine, you and your partner perform oral sex on each other. You lay down on your back as your partner straddles you on top, presenting her vulva to your mouth, spreading her legs wide, as you also spread your legs wide for her to eat you up. At the same time, you can caress each other’s bodies.

13. Head over heels

If you’re head-over-heels in love with your partner, then you have to try this. You sit on the floor with your back on the sofa.

Then, your partner *or you, whoever is more limber* straddles you upside down, her knees propped against the edge of the sofa, upside down in a sort of sitting sixty-nine position.

She keeps herself steady with her hands on the floor as her head is between your thighs and you both eat each other out at the same time. [Confessions: 16 of the most awful and hilarious sexual encounters]

14. Tactilingus

This is a variant of cunnilingus, wherein you eat your partner—except this time, you also employ your sense of touch. As you eat your partner, use one hand to please her.

You can stimulate her clitoris with your tongue as you finger her with one or two *or more* fingers, or you can alternate, penetrating her with your tongue as you gently rub her clitoris with your thumb.

15. Rimming

This is something that can be done with heterosexual sex, but since you are both women, you have a better idea of what spots to hit and how. You position your partner with her butt up in the air, opening her butt cheeks with your hands.

Then you lick the “rim” of her anus, stimulating the sensitive nerve endings there. You can also add a little stimulation on her pussy as you do this. [Read: How to eat ass – The rimming checklist to eating booty like a boss]

16. Strap on

A famous lesbian sex position uses a strap-on dildo, which one of you will use to penetrate the other the same way a man does. You can do missionary, doggy-style, and many other sex positions with this one. [Read: 30 day sex challenge – 30 strap on dildo sex positions for 30 days]

17. Fu*k me dildo

You lay your partner on her back as you penetrate her with a dildo. You can also stimulate her clit as you do this, or apply other sex positions such as oral sex to further enhance her pleasure.

This is one of the most common lesbian sex positions.

18. Thigh town

Lay down on your sides or with one of you on their back and the other on top. Both clits and vulvas should be up against each other’s thighs so you can grind against them to create delicious friction.

19. The hug

Have your partner sit on a chair or criss cross on the floor or a bed and then straddle their lap so you’re sitting on them. Not only will you get the friction you need but you’re facing each other, so it’s super intimate and loving. [Read: Lesbian love – what it’s really like to date a woman]

Tips to turn up the heat

Now you know some common lesbian sex positions, how about turning up the heat a little more? Here are some quick hints on how to go from “ooh” to “wow!”:

1. Grab your favorite penetrative toy in any type of position

2. Bring in nipple and breast play

3. Always give plenty of attention to the clit

4. Doggy design – kneel behind your partner to finger her [Read: Lesbian stereotypes – 15 common cliches we hear about all the time]

Lesbian sex is just as hot as any other

Now you know everything you need to know about lesbian sex, what’s left to learn? It’s true that girl-on-girl action is a very common fantasy for lots of women, and many men dream about seeing it first-hand. However, it’s important to know that lesbian sex is just as hot and accepted as any other type of sex.

In the end, it’s two women who like each other, doing exactly what nature calls them to do. It’s not taboo or kinky or shameful, it’s beautiful in the way that all love is beautiful.

[Read: Lesbian bed death – Alluring ways to bring the sexy spark back]

How do lesbians have sex? Now you know! Lesbian sex can be dirty, carefree, experimental, boring, awful, brilliant, loving, emotional, and everything in between. Really, as long as everyone’s having fun, what’s the difference?!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...