Getting over someone isn’t easy. Maybe they betrayed you, dumped you, or you realized they’re toxic. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. Now, they’re no longer a part of your life. Though that may be hard to read, it’s the truth. Learning how to forget someone is the only way to help you move on from the pain.
How to forget someone in a hurry
I’ve lost a couple friendships for various reasons, and you think it’ll be easy to move on. Sometimes it’s harder than you thought. Why? Well, this person was a part of your life, you love them no matter if they were just a friend. Having them out of your life feels like a hole in your existence since they helped you become who you are.
Now, after reading that you may be feeling sad, thinking you want them back in your life. To be honest, I don’t know what happened, so maybe having them back in your life isn’t a bad idea. But, if you’re not interested in having them in your life then you’ve made your decision. Making that decision isn’t the hard part. The hard part comes when you need to live with the decision you made. It’s all in your head.
#1 You can’t forget them. This isn’t Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or Men in Black. I just can’t hook you up to a machine and erase all the memories of this person from your head. Though, I bet business would be booming. But the point is, you can’t forget them in the sense of removing them from your mind. So, don’t focus on “forgetting” them per se, but rather moving on from them. [Read: Dealing with heartbreak: 10 steps to do it the right way]
#2 It takes time. I know you want to get over them fast, but to forget them, you can’t focus on the time it takes to move on. Seriously, everyone is different. For some people, it takes weeks while for others it takes months. But there is one certain thing, the more you think about why it takes you so long to get over someone, the longer it takes to move on. [Read: How long does it take to actually get over someone?]
#3 Get closure. Now, most have a hard time moving on because they feel that they didn’t get the closure they needed as if they have unfinished business. I’ve had this feeling. This kept me from moving on. I tried to answer questions that I didn’t have the answers to.
So, in order to move on, find closure. Speak to the person, write them a letter, just get everything you want to say out. But, if you’re unable to do that, write it down anyway. It helps you get everything in your mind out.
#4 Get emotional. There have been so many times when I chose not to say how I really felt or kept my emotions bottled up. In the long run, it prevented me from moving on quickly. Instead, I felt tense as if I choked myself with negative emotions. Honestly, this only prolongs the process when you’re trying to understand how to forget someone, so if you feel like crying, do it.
#5 Cut ties. This is hard, but it’s absolutely necessary if you want to forget someone. You need to delete them from all social media, essentially make it so that they never existed in your life. I know this is hard, but you have to do this. If not, you’ll be creeping them and having constant reminders of them. You need to give yourself space. [Read: How to recognize and end toxic relationships]
#6 Stay away from anything that is “them.” If you would always eat ice cream at a specific place, take a break from going there. If they go to the same gym as you, switch gyms. It may look like you’re avoiding them. You are, but for good reason. Remove any reminders of them from your life so that you focus on other things that help you to move on quickly.
#7 Don’t hate them. They may have hurt you. I know you’re upset, but you need to forgive them if you truly want to understand how to forget someone the healthy way. Now, this isn’t for them, this is for you and your mental health. Forgiveness isn’t an easy thing to do. If you actively feel hatred towards them, you prevent yourself from moving on. In essence, they actually become the center of your world which is the opposite of what you want to happen. [Read: 15 positive ways to forgive someone and unburden your mind]
#8 Talk positively about them. Yes, this isn’t going to be easy, but it’s necessary. Now, this doesn’t mean that you think they’re amazing and that you love them. Instead, think about the time you had with them and associate it with it being a learning experience. You spent time with them, good and bad. Now, it’s in the past.
#9 Remove thoughts of attachment. Listen, you may think you can’t live without them, but here’s the thing, you can. When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live without him. But then I remembered, I had a life before him. I just needed to develop a routine without him in it. You don’t need anyone to live, you have to know that. [Read: 16 tips to understand how to be single after a relationship]
#10 What did you see in them? It’s important to use this opportunity to reflect on your relationship with this person. Why were you friends or lovers with this person? Why did you form a relationship with this person? It’s important to reflect on this because there are some situations when you realize you actually didn’t love this person like you thought you did.
#11 Create goals. Distract yourself from thinking about them. And what’s a better distraction than thinking about yourself? Exactly! Focus on you. Look at the goals you want to complete and the dreams you wish to conquer. Use this period and revert your energy to things that push you forward. [Read: 17 ways to focus on yourself and build your own sunshine]
#12 Acknowledge that you’re going to think about them. Even if you get over this person, there will be moments when you think about them. The point is not to force yourself to think about them. If you do think about them, later, think about why they came to your mind. And then, tell yourself that yes, your relationship ended, but there are more relationships to come in the future. [Read: Is your past relationship holding you back from a better life?]
#13 Don’t hope. This is what keeps people from moving on, hope. Don’t hope. Maybe you think they’ll come back, and in some cases, they will. But the worst thing to do is to hope for that to happen, and feel disappointed. Instead, accept the relationship is over, this helps you to move on quicker. Plus, if that person doesn’t come back, you won’t be disappointed.
[Read: How to deal with a broken heart and crawl out of the pit of despair]
Now that you know how to forget someone, it’s time that you put these tips to use. Try some of them out and see how you feel. It’ll help you get over them soon, but you’ll need to give it some time, so be patient!
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