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Dealing with Heartbreak: 18 Steps to Do It the Right Way

Nobody ever said love was supposed to be easy. People will break your heart, and it’ll hurt. This is why it’s vital to learn how to deal with heartbreak.

dealing with heartbreak

Getting your heart broken will always be one of the most challenging life experiences in the world. It’s one of the most excruciating pain you will ever have to endure. By learning how to deal with heartbreak, you’re proving to yourself you’re so much more capable than you think.

No one wants to go through a breakup and begin the process of dealing with heartbreak. No matter if the relationship lasted five weeks or five years, if you liked someone and became emotionally invested in them, it can be very difficult when that ends.

Finding ways to get over it and move on are tricky, and there is no “one size fits all” solution that works for everyone. However, there are some tried and true methods that may just make you feel better. [Read: How to get over a heartbreak: The 9 step guide to mend your heart]

How do you get over heartbreak?

Again, there isn’t a magical solution to repair your broken heart into what it was. However, learning how to deal with heartbreak is possible. When a relationship ends, it feels like everything is over. You don’t want to get up, move, or do anything. You feel so lifeless because this one person you trusted with your entire being just left your life.

But you will get over it, even if you don’t believe it right now. You get over heartbreak by focusing on yourself and improving on yourself. You will still miss them with every fiber of your being, but you’re putting the focus from them to yourself. [Read: How to move on and deal with a break up with a smile]

Healthy distractions are what you need to help your heart heal from the heartbreak and everything your relationship meant to you. Also, as easy as it is to isolate yourself and cry yourself to sleep every night, you need your friends! Just do what you can do to move forward to a life without them, as much as it hurts.

Ways of dealing with heartbreak

So how do you start dealing with heartbreak and move on after your relationship has ended? Here are some great tips to help you. [Read: How to get through a breakup: 30 ways to get you back on track]

1. Get some space

Once you have decided to call it a day on your relationship, it’s important that you give each other some breathing space. Even if everything ended amicably, if you continue to see and speak to each other all the time, it’s going to be impossible to move on. Space is so necessary if you want to learn how to deal with heartbreak.

As long as you keep seeing them, your heart will never heal from the pain. This situation almost always ends with one party feeling more emotionally attached than the other, and when they want to break free and go out with someone else, it actually makes the situation even harder and more painful.

Letting go is tough, but if you don’t start somewhere, you can’t begin to recover. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and not drift apart]

2. Cut all ties

It doesn’t make you a bad person for cutting ties with your ex – it makes you human. In fact, this connected with the first point above, which is creating space away from them. This means blocking or unfriending them on Facebook, deleting their number, blocking their email, etc.

Do everything you can to prevent yourself from thinking it’s a great idea to tell them how much you love/hate them at 3am, after one too many shots. This also stops your ex from doing the same. After all, you broke up for a reason, so you need to stick to your guns and leave the unhealthy stalking out of it.

Block them or at the very least, mute their posts or unfriend them. [Read: How to stop thinking about someone you still like]

3. Don’t assume you will be friends

“Let’s still be friends” is probably one of the most overused lines when dealing with heartbreak and breakups. But in truth, it’s not always realistic. It’s difficult enough to see your ex after a breakup, but staying friends with them? You’re putting yourself through so much pain by tolerating a friendship with them.

There’s too much pain and history to make a friendship work between exes. Of course, if you really can make it into the friendship zone, then well done.

But for the initial breakup stages, it’s best to simply concentrate on getting your life back in order, not nurturing a friendship that’s unlikely to last. [Read: Can you be friends with an ex after a breakup?]

4. Don’t use alcohol to make you feel better

Okay, let’s admit it. If we’re talking about how to deal with heartbreak that isn’t exactly healthy, drinking is the first thing that comes to mind. It makes you feel better instantly and helps you drown all your sorrows in the bottle of tequila. Going out and getting out-of-your-mind drunk is not going to help matters.

You are far more likely to do something reckless, regrettable, and even dangerous if you’re up to your eyeballs in tequila.

You might end up drunk calling your ex or sleeping with the next person you see, all because you’re too caught up in your heartbreak. So if you can help it, don’t drink as a way to get over your ex. [Read: 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through them]

5. Work out

If you’re looking for a healthier way to learn how to deal with heartbreak, exercise is the key. Unlike drinking, this is not a self-sabotaging approach to dealing with your heartbreak. Nothing says “look how much better I am without you” to an ex than getting a killer body.

Besides, throwing yourself into an intense workout routine is a great way to feel good about yourself. Exercise releases endorphins, and the more you do it, the fitter and trimmer you’ll become.

After all, happiness is the best revenge. Working on your body will feel so good when you’re trying to get over your heartbreak. [Read: 25 inspirational tips to get motivated and work out]

6. Go for long walks

Getting plenty of alone time outside in the fresh air can really do you a world of good. You can clear your head, think things over, reason with yourself, and try to feel positive about things. Often, a good walk with our own thoughts amongst some beautiful scenery is just what the doctor ordered.

Also, a change of environment can do you a lot of good as staying at home and dwelling on the pain won’t get you anywhere. Especially if your ex was always hanging out at your place, you really need a change of environment, even for just a few minutes a day.

7. Get a rebound guy

You should never rush getting a rebound guy, no matter what. It will be effective in getting over your heartbreak, but if you aren’t ready to do so, you might end up projecting all your pain to your rebound guy. But once you’re ready, feel free to go for it!

The best guys for this are the ones you are incredibly attracted to, but know you would never get into a new relationship with. Ones you drool over, but find a bit cringing to have a conversation with.

This will build your confidence back up while ensuring that you don’t immediately get into a new relationship when you’re not actually ready. [Read: Rebound relationships and why they’re good for you]

8. Be single for a while

Look, there’s nothing bad with being single. As boring and dull as it might seem since you’re coming out of a relationship, it can be fun being single. Just think of the things you weren’t able to do when you were in a relationship. All that freedom can feel like a breath of fresh air if you just appreciate it.

It’s easy to panic and get into the “Oh God I am going to die alone surrounded by 18 cats” mindset, but if you spend time making your own life as fun and interesting as possible, you’ll end up so much happier. Remember, romance can wait, no matter how old you are. [Read: Staying in love or staying single?]

9. Plot revenge, but don’t act on it

Sometimes, you just want to get seriously angry, especially if you feel as though you’ve been wronged in the relationship. Plot a vicious and creative revenge that puts him down on his knees begging for you to take him back, as you stand over him in a fabulous ball gown laughing at the pathetic mess of a man he has become.

Getting angry is cool, talking about all the reasons why he was a horrible boyfriend *even if you don’t mean half of them* is cool. However, breaking into his house and cutting holes in all of his favorite t-shirts is not cool.

By all means, get mad at your ex, but don’t turn into a crazy person. A form of revenge might be just what you needed to feel better about your breakup. [Read: How to get back at your ex: 23 fun, classy ways to get revenge]

10. Cry

We hate being vulnerable, but when we’re talking about a breakup, crying is healthy. This is healthier than keeping everything inside and just bursting when you can’t handle the pain anymore. You need to let it all out, one way or another. Crying is important and healthy. Don’t feel like you shouldn’t do it.

Sometimes, the best thing to do when dealing with heartbreak is putting on the sappiest, most romantic film you can find, drinking a large glass of wine, stuffing chocolate into your face ,and sobbing into your sweatpants. It really does help! [Read: Ready for some tears? 20 movies that will make you cry]

11. Stop blaming yourself

When learning how to deal with heartbreak, we often blame ourselves. We think we’re not good enough, or there’s something we didn’t do much of to make the relationship work. But you need to realize that it takes two for a breakup to happen. [Read: How to forgive yourself & free yourself of the weight of guilt]

As soon as you understand that none of this was your fault, you will feel so much better. Relationships break down all the time. It’s sad, for sure, but it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, or that you should spend the rest of your life wallowing in self-pity.

12. Give it time

As cliche as this line sounds, time really does heal everything. So all the wounds, anger, regret, pain, and loss you feel right now will fade away within a significant period. You might still miss them by then, but the pain won’t feel as unbearable. When you’re feeling heartbroken and miserable, it can be difficult to see that.

But try to remember all the breakups that you’ve ever been through, or all your friends who have wailed on your shoulder because they’ve felt like their lives were over, too.

They’ve all gotten over it, right? So you will, too. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, and you just need to wait for it. [Read: How to get over your first love with a happy memory]

13. Spend time with loved ones

If there’s anyone who can make you feel much better about yourself, it’s your loved ones. So spend as much time with them as you can, especially since you’re dealing with heartbreak. Your friends and family are the ones who will remind you that even if you lost someone, you still have so much love in your life.

It might feel like the end of the world but we promise you, you’ll get over this. It’s easy to isolate yourself from your loved ones but refrain from doing that if you want to learn how to deal with heartbreak.

14. Have a change of environment

A change of environment will do you a lot of good with your heartbreak. The more you spend time dwelling on yourself and staying at home, your feelings of pain and devastation will keep intensifying. So go outside and get some fresh air.

Have adventures and travel if you must. Just do whatever you need to to stop thinking about them. This is a much better alternative than just staying in the same place where bittersweet memories surround you. [Read: 15 reasons why you should travel at least once a year]

15. Focus on improving yourself

The best way to learn how to deal with heartbreak is to improve yourself further. We know how much everything hurts, but you can’t dwell on those feelings of pain.

The only way you will get through this is if you focus on self-improvement rather than using self-sabotaging tactics for your heartbreak. Put all your energy into becoming better. – not for your ex, but yourself. [Read: How to improve yourself: 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]

16. Realize why it had to end

Relationships end for various reasons, some of which are beyond our control or liking. So if you want to really learn how to get over your heartbreak, hold on to the reasons it had to end. [Read: 20 valid reasons to break up with someone]

Maybe you weren’t suitable for one another, maybe something is missing, or maybe you just can’t provide one another with what you need. A relationship will inevitably end if something is lacking, so you need to see why it had to end.

17. Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion is so important when it comes to dealing with heartbreak. We all have this tendency to be harsh to ourselves when we’re going through something. However, tree yourself the way you would do a friend.

If you wouldn’t be harsh to a friend who was upset, who do you do it to yourself? You need to treat yourself with kindness and compassion, especially during this phase of your life. [Read: How to be kind to yourself & others & love life instead of hating it]

18. Seek closure if you must

Again, closure isn’t for everything, but if it helps you deal with your heartbreak, why not? This is the only reasonable time you can talk to your ex – when you’re seeking answers.

If you really must put an end to all the questions in your mind about why you didn’t work, closure is a great way to get over heartbreak. But you also need to realize you will eventually get closer even without all the answers. Time apart from them will do that.

[Read: How to find closure with yourself after a relationship]

So, how to deal with heartbreak?

It might seem impossible to deal with heartbreak, but you’ll get through this. You will fall in love again, and you will get hurt – that’s part of life. Just remember that you’re so much stronger than you think, and one heartbreak will never define you. It’s how you manage to get up that will define you.

Learning how to deal with heartbreak is one of the toughest jobs to have to do. Following these steps should be able to help you get back on your feet and keep moving forward in life.

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Bethany_Cadman
Bethany Locke
Bethany was born and raised in Scotland and now resides in Brighton where she lives with her partner and rather disobedient cocker spaniel pup. She works as a f...
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