Breakups are the worst – they leave you feeling hurt and lost. But don’t worry. You can always learn how to feel better after a breakup and be okay again.
We know it doesn’t seem possible right now, but you can learn how to feel better after a breakup with a bit of effort. Breakups suck. Even when you’re the one who does the breaking up, it always stings.
They were a significant part of you, and they left just like that. If you imagined a future with this person, it hurts even more. You imagined an entire life with them, and they’re suddenly gone in a fraction of a moment.
No matter how much you distract yourself from the pain, it’s still there. It never gets easier to handle breakups, whether you dated them for months, years, or an entire decade. [Read: How to get over a bad breakup and start feeling good again]
The pain of breakups
While we want to stroll through life without experiencing breakups at all, that isn’t what happens. At some point in our lives, we will all likely experience a breakup. And they’ll always hurt, no matter what the reason for the break was. We don’t always end up with the person we want to, and that’s alright. It might not feel okay for a long time, but things will get better eventually.
Breakups need to occur in order for you to learn a lesson and grow from that painful experience. A breakup occurs when the bad starts to outweigh the good in the relationship, and one of you no longer sees a potential future with this person.
People say that love is the most beautiful and extraordinary thing you’re ever going to feel, but they often miss the part where love can also feel ugly. Just as it comes with beautiful parts, you must accept the painful parts as well. [Read: How to get through a breakup: 30 ways to get you back on track]
How to feel better after a breakup
Time heals everything. We know this is such a cliché thing to say, but it’s true. You need to give it time before you recover from the pain of your broken heart. The next couple of weeks, even months, are going to be really hard. There’s no doubt about that.
However, you can help yourself through this experience by doing a few things to make the situation better. Follow these tips if you want to move past the breakup and get the most out of it. Yes, it feels horrible now, but you have a life ahead of you. It’s always possible to learn how to feel better after a breakup, even if it feels like hell right now. [Read: What to do when you miss someone and just want the pain to stop]
1. Feel horrible
Yes! Feel sad, feel torn, feel grief. You’re a human being, and you’re emotional whether you want to accept it or not. If anything, you should be more concerned if you don’t feel horrible after a breakup. So, feel your emotions, and don’t try to block or shut them out.
Sitting with your feelings is part of the process of feeling better after a breakup. This isn’t a step you should skip, no matter how much you want to.
When you’re going through a breakup, you’re basically grieving over the loss of your partner. And that’s perfectly normal, even healthy. [Read: How to emotionally detach when you don’t have any other choice]
Ah yes, we know you’re not going to do this, at least not right away. But trust us, you have to. You need to cut the cord, and if not, you’ll end up stalking them *which isn’t exactly healthy now, is it*?
If you want to move on from the breakup, seeing them on your social media won’t do you any good. If you can’t block them because you’re not ready to, at least mute them or unfriend them. [Read: Should I block my ex? 17 signs to help you decide what’s best for you]
3. Don’t talk to them
Let’s say you deleted them from social media *please say you did*, but they can still contact you. Though it may be tempting, refrain from speaking to them. If you’re serious about learning how to feel better after a breakup, then don’t talk to them. No matter how good it feels to hear from them, restrain from doing so.
Even if it was them that broke up with you, remember why the breakup had to occur. We know you think maybe you can be friends, but you can’t, at least not right now. [Read: Should I talk to my ex? 30 revealing questions to give you your answer]
4. Make your life ex-free
You know the saying, “out of sight, out of mind.” It may be another cliché, but that’s the thing with them – they’re always true. Whatever you have floating around your bedroom from your ex, put it away. Moving on requires putting away everything that reminds you of them; you don’t need any more reminders of what you’ve already lost.
No, you don’t need to burn everything in a tribal fire. Just put it away *there’s no need to be extra dramatic about it*. [Read: How to move on from an ex when the heartbreak is fresh and hurting]
5. Don’t stay friends
You may suggest staying friends but don’t. If you’ve made it this far by deleting and refraining from speaking to them, then don’t play the friend card. You won’t benefit anything from staying friends with them.
All you’re doing is making things worse and preventing yourself from moving on entirely. You need at least a couple of months away from them to grieve and move on fully. [Read: Can you be friends with an ex after a breakup?]
6. Watch what you say about your ex
We’re not going to say you can’t talk shit about your ex because you can, and you probably will. It’s going to feel good to let everything out, but at some point, you’ll need to stop. Staying angry at your ex will only make you hold a grudge forever, and that’s never healthy.
No matter how much of an a**hole they were, you need to forgive – not for them, but for yourself. If there’s anger, then there are feelings. That’s the opposite of what you want, right? So, just heal from everything you’re feeling and let it all go.
7. Go out with friends
There are two kinds of people in a breakup – one who isolates themselves from their friends and one who runs toward their friends. It’s a healthier option to be the latter. After a breakup, surround yourself with your people. Spend time going out with your closest friends.
No, you don’t need to hit the club every night, but spend time with your support group. Your friends will remind you that life isn’t over just because your heart got broken. Your relationship might have ended, but your life is still filled with so much love. [Read: 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through each of them]
8. Cry when you want to
If you’re feeling a sudden surge of sadness, it’s okay to cry. There will be days when everything feels amazing, and you’re doing great. Then there will be days when you feel lonely and upset about the decision made *regardless of who broke up with who*.
If you’re feeling terrible and miss them more than usual, allow yourself to cry about it rather than deflecting your emotions. Don’t suppress your feelings. Instead, ride with them. [Read: Repressed anger: How to let go before it eats you from the inside]
9. No drunk texts
We’ve all done this at least once, so what’s the harm in doing them again, right? Nope, wrong! We can’t emphasize this enough, but never drunk text or call your ex!
If you’re planning on drinking this weekend, make sure you keep your phone far away from you. Give your friends your phone or use a particular anti-drunk texting app.
No matter how much you text your ex that you miss them and still love them, do you think that’s going to undo the breakup? Unlikely. If your ex broke up with you, it’d just make them realize they made the right choice. [Read: How to avoid the awkward drama of drunk texts]
10. Stay away from where they hang out
You may get a call from their friend inviting you to a party. Don’t go *unless you want to end up crying and being reminded of the pain*. If you want to know how to feel better after a breakup, don’t go to any place where they’ll be. You’re just setting yourself up to fail in the moving-on process.
11. Eat right and exercise
This is one of the things people end up neglecting when going through a breakup *it’s pretty normal, don’t worry*! But it’s so important to take care of your health and well-being after a breakup. Don’t go into the self-destructive route; instead, move your body and take proper care of your nutrition.
Yes, you can cheat here and there, but you need to feed your body with the right things. It’ll make you feel good and keep you healthy. It’s easy to gain and lose weight when going through a breakup because your body is under tremendous stress.
Also, it makes for good revenge when your ex sees you looking better than you ever were! [Read: 15 very effective rules to forget someone you once cared about]
12. Write everything down
When your friends can’t stand listening to another word you have to say about your ex, write it down. Get everything out on paper: how they made you feel, what you did, etc.
Write it all down until even you get sick of your own rants and thoughts of your ex. When you write everything down on paper, it helps you see the pattern of your heartbreak and also the things you tend to dwell on.
13. Try new things
If you wanted to take salsa classes, but your partner never wanted to go with you, well, now is your chance to do something you always wanted to do. Start new things and meet new people. If you want to know how to feel better after a breakup, trying new things and expanding your horizons is the best approach.
It’s the best distraction and helps you change your perspective about the breakup. This is the moment you realize you’re doing things for yourself rather than for your ex. [Read: How to be happy being single and explore the freedom of singledom]
14. Don’t blame yourself
Listen, you probably made mistakes in the relationship, but so did your partner. You’re not the only one in a relationship; it takes two. Taking all the blame in the relationship can be so self-sabotaging as it prevents you from moving on and feeling better.
All it does is make you dwell on the what-ifs in your relationship, which is never healthy. It’s time to accept what happened and move on. Life doesn’t end after a breakup, even if it may feel like it. [Read: How to make it easier to let go of your ex]
15. Take new relationships nice and easy
If you’re starting to date again, take things nice and slow. You want the next relationship you enter to be one full of respect, happiness, and love. Also, this gives you time to assess whether you’re dating for all the right reasons or you’re just doing it to avoid dealing with your breakup.
Even if it’s tempting, don’t get into rebound relationships *at least, not right away*. Instead, take some time to heal. [Read: Essential tips you need to move on from heartbreak]
16. Change something in your life
It can feel so therapeutic when you make significant changes in your life. So, decorate your home, change your wardrobe, get a haircut, get a new job, and do whatever you’ve always wanted to do!
Changes can be scary, but you can remind yourself that not all changes have to be so bad by making these simple changes.
Your relationship might have ended, but it’s also an opportunity for a fresh start. Remember that if you want to know how to feel better after a breakup. [Read: Steps to change your life and find your happiness]
17. Spend a lot of time outdoors
We’re sure anyone who has ever been through a breakup can relate that a change of environment is necessary. Especially if they were always around your place, you can’t sit at home and cry all day! It can be healthy at first, but you need to get up and go outside as days pass.
It doesn’t matter where you go. Just go anywhere that isn’t home. Also, a bit of Vitamin D and fresh air will release endorphins in your body, making you feel good!
18. Don’t post about your sad feelings
We’ve all been guilty of the pity party when we’re fresh in a breakup. But if you want to learn how to feel better after a breakup, don’t tweet or post about your sad feelings. Don’t tweet about how much you miss them or post the song that reminds you so much of them.
There’s no need to post your heartbreak to everyone, especially if your ex or their friends would likely see them! Dwelling on your difficult feelings will just prevent you from moving on. [Read: How to get over your ex in a healthy way for your future]
19. Say “yes” to everything
Okay, maybe not everything. But if it’s an opportunity for positive changes and adventures, then don’t hesitate to take them! Especially when it’s a long-term relationship you just got out of, saying “yes” to most opportunities will do you a lot of good.
Would you rather dwell on your heartbreak or get yourself out there the best way you can? The choice is all yours.
20. List down your ex’s negative traits
We tend to see our ex as flawless and perfect when a relationship ends because you miss them so much. But in reality, they had their significant faults that also contributed to the breakup. Maybe they didn’t prioritize you enough, didn’t respect your voice and opinion, or never saw you as an equal.
All these things are valid reasons to end a breakup. Listing your ex’s flaws won’t change the situation, but it will help you feel better *and maybe grant you some perspective*. [Read: 30 traits that make you a typical ‘type A’ personality]
21. Be productive
When you’re dealing with something as difficult as heartbreak, you must keep yourself busy. The more you dwell on your feelings, the more you won’t be able to move on. We know everything hurts and how much you miss them, but don’t let the breakup prevent you from living a happy life.
If anything, a breakup shouldn’t be the end but just the beginning. Just think of it this way – you’re one heartbreak closer to the right relationship. [Read: Productive ways to learn to love the single life]
22. Don’t let the breakup change you
When we get hurt too much to the point that it feels overwhelming, we make drastic changes that aren’t positive. Even if one of the tips on how to feel better after a breakup is to change something in your life, it should never be in a negative way.
So change your hair or have a makeover, but don’t be cold-hearted or selfish because of it. Learn something from the experience and move forward. Then, when the right person comes along, you’ll know how to handle relationships better.
So, how to feel better after a breakup?
There isn’t a promised way to feel automatically better right after a breakup, especially if you imagined a future with them or loved them so much. But taking it one step at a time is a practical approach to move on until, eventually, you don’t miss them as much anymore.
[Read: 20 best questions to ask your ex after a breakup to find closure]
No matter the reason, it will always be tough to get through a breakup. If you follow these 22 steps on how to feel better after a breakup, you can move forward with grace and acceptance.
