If your girlfriend is a huge flirt and seems to constantly chat up other guys, leaving you feeling less than adequate, you’re not alone. There are girls out there who seem to try to get attention from every walking thing with a penis.
Even though it’s really annoying and makes you mad, she probably has her reasons. She might not even realize she’s being such a flirt! She might just think that her actions are friendly and not realize that they’re coming off to you like she’s looking for a new man.
The reasons she’s so flirty
I know seeing your girlfriend make googly eyes at the waiter might make you want to throw a brick through the window, but just relax a little! Being a gal who is guilty of some innocent flirting in front of my boyfriend from time to time, I know why we ladies do it.
We have our reasons, and almost none of them have to do with actually wanting to be with someone else. In fact, that’s usually the farthest thing from our minds. Here’s why your girlfriend might be flirting with other guys so much.
#1 It’s fun. You can’t deny that flirting is super fun. It’s interesting and entertaining to strike up a conversation with a stranger and get some chemistry whirling around. You yourself probably even think it’s fun to flirt with other people, even if you have a girlfriend. As long as it’s harmless flirting, it can actually be healthy for both of you to feel comfortable enough in your relationship to be able to innocently flirt just a bit. [Read: Is flirting cheating when you’re in a relationship?]
#2 She’s insecure. A lot of women who feel the need to flirt with other people even when they’re committed to someone have some insecurity issues. By flirting with other people, they’re being reassured that they’re attractive enough for someone to pay attention to them.
If she suffers from low self-esteem, she’ll more than likely flirt just to make herself feel better about herself. One way to reduce this is to make sure she’s feeling confident. Compliment her a lot and make her feel wanted. [Read: 12 things men do that make women insecure in relationships]
#3 She just wants the attention. Some girls just want more attention than others. This also goes hand-in-hand with being insecure. However, that’s not always the case.
She might just be the type of girl who always wants to be the center of attention. And how else would she get that male attention? Flirting might be her only tool to get that extra attention she wants from all the surrounding guys. [Read: 16 attention whore signs to watch out for!]
#4 Maybe you’re not flirting with her enough. If she’s not getting what she needs from you in terms of flirting, she’s going to look elsewhere to get it. This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want you in general, it just might mean that she wants to get her flirt on and you’re just not flirty enough for her.
If it’s just that fun banter she’s looking for, there’s no need to worry. It’s probably innocent. But if you want her to stop it, kick up your flirting game and make her see that she doesn’t need to get that entertainment elsewhere—it’s right there in front of her. [Read: 12 essential flirting tips every guy needs to know!]
#5 She might like to see you get jealous. Some girls like to see that their man cares about them. One way they can do this is by making them jealous. To some women, jealousy means that you care enough about them to get upset by the sight or thought of them with someone else.
If you’re not very verbal about how much you care about her, she might be flirting to see just how much you actually do care. If you’re more open about your feelings, she’ll probably flirt less. [Read: 15 types of toxic relationships to watch out for]
#6 She might want you to break up with her. As horrible as it sounds, the truth is that some women use this tactic to try to get you to leave them. A lot of times, this is due to their inability to break up with you.
She could feel trapped and unhappy in the relationship but just doesn’t know how to end things. So, she uses flirting as a way to get you upset enough to leave her. It’s a sad thought, but it could be the reason your girlfriend flirts with other guys. [Read: How to break up with your girlfriend like a man]
#7 She doesn’t even know she’s flirting. Sometimes your girlfriend might just be trying to be friendly. I know a lot of girls *myself included* who really are just trying to be polite, but for whatever reason, it comes across as flirting instead.
This could be your girlfriend. Maybe she has a personality that just seems more flirtatious than others. Don’t assume she’s flirting if she’s just always nice to the people she meets.
#8 She wants to get a rise out of you. Honestly, I’ve never understood why girlfriends do this, but it is a reality. Some women actually flirt with other guys just to see their boyfriends get angry and frustrated. Who knows why!
In order to get her to stop this, just ignore her flirting and don’t get angry. If she sees that it’s not doing anything to you, she’ll lighten up and stop the annoying flirtatious behavior. [Read: 11 scarily subtle clues you have a psycho girlfriend]
#9 She’s not satisfied in the relationship. If she’s seeking attention, affection, and flirtation elsewhere, then she might not be satisfied in her current situation. If she were truly 100 percent happy, she wouldn’t feel the need to turn to other guys to meet her needs.
Find out what she’s missing and give it to her! It will definitely decrease her flirting with other people and can even strengthen your relationship.
#10 You’re boring her. She might be bored! Flirting is fun and exciting, and if she’s doing a lot of it, then she must not be feeling like she’s getting those things from you. This happens a lot after the “honeymoon phase.”
If that exciting, new time in the relationship is over and now you’re both comfortable and used to each other, look for new ways to get back some of the excitement that has gone missing. [Read: 10 steps to reignite the lost spark in a relationship]
An overly flirtatious girlfriend can cause quite a few problems in a relationship. Before you get too upset about it, think about these possible reasons she flirts with other guys, and what you may be able to do to curb her flirting. And if all else fails, talk to her *calmly* about it.
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