Everything’s always a lot more exciting in a new relationship!
After all, you’re starting off a connection with someone who could potentially be the one you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.
Every new experience feels like an experience with a newfound zest because of the person you’re with.
And every little thing they do cause you to giggle with glee and delight. And everything is just oh-so-perfect!
Yes, new relationships will inadvertently be filled with the haze of the honeymoon phase.
13 relationship mistakes new couples make often
But despite your enthusiasm for your new love, there are still things you should avoid doing lest it makes your relationship turn sour too quickly.
From marriage talk to insisting on more time together, here’s a comprehensive list of the mistakes lots of new couples make.
#1 Moving too fast. Relationship milestones are something to be experienced, not something you should zip through. Savor your first night out, your first make out session, your first argument or your first out of town trip.
Take your relationship a step at a time and give yourself enough time in between to appreciate what just happened. In the future, you might think, “Oh, we never went through that phase,” but in fact you may have zoomed right through it. [Read: When should you say ‘I love you’ for the first time?]
#2 Fantasizing about the future. It’s okay if you’d like to talk about future date ideas and things you can do in the following months. But imposing your fantasies about marriage, kids or moving in can make your new partner think that you want to move too fast. Isn’t it way too soon for that talk?
What if your partner hasn’t even thought about anything in the future other than your next date? Whatever fantasies you have about your future together, save it for when your relationship is fully established and stable. This way, you can both share your dreams and work on achieving it. [Read: 60 get-to-know-you questions for a new romance]
#3 Broadcasting every detail of your relationship. It can’t be helped when you gush to all your mates or girlfriends about your new beau. What they won’t be happy about is little unnecessary details about your relationship.
Your partner too won’t be very pleased when you tell everyone about these things either. Try to resist the temptation to tell people about the little details that should remain between couples like weird bathroom habits, stinky feet or wild fetishes.
#4 Getting disheartened at the first roadblock. Each relationship reaches its first challenge at different times. But when it’s your turn, don’t let it make you feel like your relationship has become damaged beyond repair.
You must understand that for a relationship to work out, both of you must be willing to put in some work. You can’t just drop everything when you’re starting to feel like things aren’t as perfect as they once were. Remember, challenges make you stronger! [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples go through]
#5 Sacrificing too much. Save the big sacrifices for when you’re sure that you’re with someone who’ll be there for you in the long run. Too many people tend to lose themselves in their relationships.
It starts off with giving up little things like certain hobbies and certain friends. Then it moves on to switching jobs, moving to another country or losing contact with close friends. And then, before they’ve realized it, they’ve become a shadow of their former selves! [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]
#6 Being too unavailable. Your relationship is new, yes, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be one of your priorities. If you start off by being too aloof, your partner may feel neglected to the point of wishing they had never invested their feelings in you.
The early stages of the relationship are fragile because this is where you’re building your foundation. Don’t disregard this starting phase because a relationship built on flimsy foundation will be so much easier to dissolve at the first pitfall.
#7 Being too clingy. Unavailability is one thing, but clinginess is just as bad. Give your partner room to breathe! We know it’s exciting to be in a relationship with someone, but don’t breathe down his/her neck all the time.
You’re both individuals who should have your own lives. Let your partner do his/her own thing as you do yours. Just relax and resist the urge to leave a hundred voice messages when you start missing him/her. [Read: 10 tips to love someone deeply without smothering them]
#8 Playing the lying game. It’s never a good idea to lie to your significant other ever. Keep in mind that the lies you tell when you’re just starting off can build up into bigger lies.
For example, you might lie about resigning from a job you were actually fired from. But when your partner finds out, this will unleash a bunch of questions about what you lied about when you first started dating. That could potentially damage whatever trust your partner has in you.
#9 Overlooking the red flags. Some couples, in their desperation to keep things together, cling onto the relationship so much that they’re in denial about its flaws. It’s easy to dismiss the red flags when you really want things to work out. But if you ignore them for too long, you may one day find that you’ve invested so much in someone who’s been treating your badly for years! [Read: 7 early warning signs that your relationship is starting to go bad]
#10 Mentioning the ex too often. Not only can this be annoying to your partner, but they might start comparing themselves to your ex. Also, it may make your partner think that you’re not over your ex yet. Limit any sort of mention of your ex, lest your partner get disheartened and thinks you still want to go back to your previous relationship.
#11 Social media stalking. Okay, so you want to know things about your significant other that you don’t want to ask upfront. But come on, don’t be the creepy partner who stalks a partner’s pictures from way back in 2008!
If you want to know something, ask. It beats sneaking around and jumping to your own conclusions. Also, trust us when we say you’re probably better off not unearthing your partner’s poor fashion choices in the early 2000’s.
#12 Imposing your beliefs. This is something that can be tricky, especially if you’re passionate about something. Bear in mind that you can’t expect your partner to believe every single thing that you believe in, whether it’s religion, politics, animal rights or whatever you have a firm stand on.
You’re not supposed to be clones of each other, so don’t start preaching if your partner has opposing beliefs. What you can do is be more open to their point of view. If there’s a big issue that you don’t meet eye to eye on, try to be more understanding or get out of the relationship if you feel like this will compromise your beliefs.
#13 Making your partner choose priorities. It’s unfair if you’re making your partner choose between you or their friends, their family, their job or their hobbies. You can’t expect your partner to prioritize you above everything else just yet. Your relationship is just starting to grow, and you can’t expect your partner to drop everything and be at your beck and call. [Read: 10 reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon just sucks!]
Considering your relationship is just starting off, you don’t have much of a fighting chance against things your new lover has valued before you came along. Keep this in mind, lest you make your partner choose and they end up not choosing you. Ouch.
[Read: 9 relationship tips and advice for new lovers to have that perfect start!]
New relationships can be both fun and tricky. But just keep working on love and try to avoid these 13 major mistakes that new couples make. Before you know it, you’ll already be celebrating your first anniversary!
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