Breaking up is hard when you don’t know what to tell your girlfriend, or how to end it without leading her on. if you want to know how to break up with your girlfriend, and not hurt her with your words in the process, you’ve come to the right place.
Let’s face it, there are many ways to break up with a girlfriend. And no matter how gently you do it, or how considerately, it’s going to hurt like hell for her unless she isn’t expecting it already, or isn’t interested in staying in the relationship.
But all said and done, however you decide to approach this dreaded talk, none of them are easy, well, except for the coward’s way – ghosting. Or maybe the other coward’s way to get your girl to break up with you.
Why you need to be the one to break up with your girlfriend
Rather than put up with a relationship that only causes you pain, sometimes it’s better to end it and move on. If you’re indeed convinced that you can’t ever be happy in the relationship, or if you find yourself fantasizing about ways to end it, this may be for you.
Break ups are never easy to handle, be it for a man or a woman. It’s painful, heartbreaking and worst of all, anyone who’s dumped by their partner is consumed by shame and depression.
If you still care about your girlfriend and think your relationship deserves a second chance, look for ways to bring the love back into your lives. [Read: How to reconnect with your girl and rekindle a flickering flame]
But if everything you try fails, or if you only end up feeling more frustrated each time you try to hold the relationship together, brace yourself and end it.
How to break up with your girlfriend like a real man
There are different ways to break up with your girlfriend, some are easy and some ways are difficult. But if you do want to know how to break up with your girlfriend calmly and sympathetically without hurting her more than the fact you’ve broken up, here’s the man way’s to end a relationship.
To break up with her like a man, you need to keep her feelings in mind and try to end the relationship in the nicest way possible. After all, chivalry doesn’t cease to exist in the middle of a break up. [Read: What is chivalry? The real meaning, the knight’s code and modern men]
Talk to her about the relationship
If you find that both of you are constantly arguing with each other over the smallest of things, there’s obviously something unresolved in the air.
If either of you can’t wait to pick a fight for no reason at all, or find yourselves getting annoyed with each other every now and then, perhaps, it’s time to have a frank conversation and understand the real reason behind all the animosity. [Read: How to tell your partner you’re unhappy in the relationship]
Don’t throw in an unexpected break up
If breakups are bad, unexpected breakups can just be horrible to bear. Never surprise your girlfriend with an unexpected break up, it can hurt a lot especially if she’s completely in the dark about the news and never expected it in the first place.
Ask for her opinion
If you’re trying to break up with your girlfriend, talk about it with her. When you’re having a conversation about your relationship after one of those big fights, ask for her opinion on the relationship.
Stay calm and ask her if she thinks it would be better if both of you were friends instead of lovers. Of course, you don’t have to be friends, but this is the easiest way to calmly discuss the breakup instead of telling her you hate her face and never want to ever see her again in your life!
“I’ve been thinking about this… do you think we’re better off being friends? We’re working so hard on holding this relationship together, and still find ourselves in arguments all the time. Staying in love really shouldn’t be so difficult. I wonder where we’re going wrong…”
Throwing in an open ended question in a subtle manner can actually help your girlfriend understand where you’re going with the conversation. By talking about it with her instead of making a statement, you’re making her feel involved in the decision. It’ll be easier to handle. Mutual decisions are always easier to handle. [Read: The step-by-step breakup conversation you can use to breakup with someone you love]
Is she ready to break up?
If she thinks the relationship is going nowhere too, then it’s all smooth and easy. And the best part, you’re not breaking her heart in one blow because it’s a mutual decision.
But if she isn’t ready to end the relationship and tells you that she wants to work on it, what do you intend to do? If you do care about your girlfriend, give the relationship a few weeks to see if things get better. Relationships always have a great way of healing themselves just when there’s no hope for love. [Read: How to fix a relationship that’s falling apart and rebuild it again]
But if you want to break up with your girlfriend because you like someone else or just don’t see any reason in holding on, tell her the truth that you don’t see it working out.
Never lose your cool, and always speak in a calm and composed manner, even if your girlfriend gets angry with your decision, or decides to throw a few things around the house.
Let her know she’ll always have a special place
If even a few weeks of prolonging hasn’t helped your relationship, then speak about it again and ask your girlfriend what she thinks about the relationship.
Tell her that you’re not very happy and think that perhaps, being friends is still the best way forward. Love is almost effortless, and never a chore. If you have to work a lot on trying to find happiness together, perhaps both of you are just incompatible. [Read: 20 signs your relationship is over – How to recognize the end]
Tell your girlfriend that you think being friends with each other would be a better alternative than lovers who end up hating each other. Let her know that you’ll cherish all the memories both of you have shared, and there will always be a special place for her in your heart.
By letting her know that she’ll always be remembered fondly, she’ll find it easier to handle it, and it’s a lot better than a painful breakup with harsh words.
End it with finality
If you’re certain that you don’t intend to get back together, make it clear without being too harsh.
“I really do think we’ll find it a lot easier to be friends. We’ve been through this before. We break up and end up falling back in love all the time. But we’ve never been happy… and I don’t see how things can change anymore… I wish it could be different, but I don’t see that happening anymore.”
By ending it with an explanation, you’re letting her know clearly that you don’t want to continue the relationship anymore. Don’t ever give her false hope. It’ll only create a complicated relationship that will only cause both of you more pain. [Read: 9 stages of a relationship breakup you have to experience no matter what]
Be willing to be friends
Exes never make good friends. Period. And it’s a terrible idea to stay friends especially immediately after a breakup. So once you do break up, it’s probably the end of any kind of relationship with your soon to be ex-girlfriend. But leave the option to her.
Let her know that you’ll always be there for her as a friend. Tell her that she could call you or text you if she wants, but it would be better to avoid each other for a while until the wounds heal.
Remind her that you have a lot of love for her in your heart, and wish only the best for her but seeing that there’s no happy ending in sight, you see no option but to end the relationship before it becomes too painful to handle for either of you. [Read: How to be friends with an ex without any complications]
Tell her what’s on your mind
Be honest, but don’t be hurtful. Tell her you’ll always be there for her as a friend, as long she needs you. Don’t walk out on her after telling her how you feel about the relationship.
Walking away from a bitter or hurt new ex-girlfriend may seem like the right thing to do. But you have to remember that she may not be ready for the news. The thought of the sudden loneliness and the pain of having to hear about the breakup may hurt her a lot.
Stay with her for a while, until she feels better. If she accepts your offer to sit with her for a while, be willing to even drive her back to her place. It’ll help her deal with the pain just knowing that you’re still willing to be there by her side, as a friend.
But if she walks away from you after the break up, let her go. Call her best friend if you must and tell her about it. Ask her friend to speak with your girlfriend and help her feel better.
Breaking up with your girlfriend like a man
You may ask yourself if it’s really necessary to follow all these steps. You could skip them if you want to. But as a real man who cares about a girl he once loved, it’s still his moral obligation to help her get back on her feet, however much it may hurt him in the process.
[Read: How to end a relationship the right way]
After all, knowing how to break up with your girlfriend is easy, but breaking up like a man, that takes a real man.
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