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How to Ask a Girl Out Over Text: 7 Steps to an Instant “Yes”

Modern technology is wonderful! You can flirt away without having to blush! learn how to ask a girl out over text and increase your chances of a date.

how to ask a girl out over text

It’s a new era – people are texting each other nudes, Snapchatting their dinner, and catching Pokemon. I mean, why not ask someone out over text? It makes perfect sense. Maybe you briefly met them, or you get nervous while trying to call them. Listen, at the end of the day, you have to do what makes you feel comfortable. If you have no idea how to ask a girl out over text, just follow these simple steps, and it’s practically impossible for you to go wrong!

[Read: How to text a girl you like: 15 ways to make her love texting you]

3 Considerations before pressing ‘send’

Before we get into the specifics of how to ask a girl out over text, there are three things you need to pay severe attention to. Bearing these points in mind before you press ‘send’ will spare your blushes for a long time to come.

Firstly, are you sure she’s single? Its best to do a little subtle digging before you send that text. Sure, you might be able to take a “I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend” reply on the chin, but it’s going to hurt, right? It’s best to find out that she’s available before you go for it, and save yourself the embarrassment. [Read: How to ask a girl if she has a boyfriend without being too brazen]

Secondly, do you have the right number? If you’re using the old fashioned SMS way, make sure that you haven’t accidentally added an incorrect digit. The humiliation of accidentally texting your neighbor is very real! If you’re using a messaging app, such as WhatsApp, Instagram, or Messenger, just make sure that you’ve got the right person!

And thirdly, be very mindful of what time of day you send that text. If you send it late at night, she’s going to think it’s a booty call and you could end up with a rather sharp reply. If you send it first thing in the morning, she may be too busy getting ready for her day and forget to reply. Mid-afternoon or very early evening are your best times to text a girl to optimize the chances of reply. [Read: 10 Booty call moves that may look like true love]

How to ask a girl out over text

If texting is your thing, then it’s the way to ask a girl out. Less embarrassment and a quick-fire answer (hopefully). So, since your phone is now anxiously in your hand, let’s see how to ask a girl out over text – and get a ‘yes’. [Read: How to text flirt with a friend and get naughty]

1. Start with a strong opening

Don’t just send her a text that says, “hey” or even worse, “heyyy.” Come on man, you’re better than that. I know, deep down, you’re full of topics and conversation starters. If you send a one-worded text, you’re going to get a one worded reply – if you’re lucky. [Read: How to keep a text conversation going when you have nothing to say]

If a guy just texts me “hey,” odds are I won’t reply unless we’re already friends. And even then, I know this conversation won’t be interesting. Where can you go from there? Here you go. This is what happens:



“What’s up?”

“Watching a movie, you?”

“Just chillin’ lol”


And end of scene.

I imagine your eyes were slowly closing while reading that because mine were while typing it. It’s dull and lame. Start with a good opener. Ask if she’s watched a new movie that’s come out, or mention something funny or weird that happened to you. Whatever it is, please, just don’t make it a one-worded text. [Read: 50 flirty text messages that are sure to make any girl smile]

2. Feel the mood

If you’re texting her, and you’re feeling that she’s not really feeling the conversation, then abort the mission. I repeat – abort mission. Maybe she’s grumpy or had an argument with her mom. And trust me, if you ask her out during that time, you may not get the answer you want.

Women decide things depending on our emotional state at the time. If a guy asks me out and I’m already in a bad mood, I’m not thinking, “Say yes, because tomorrow you’ll be in a better mood.” No. Never.

In fact, I’m probably wishing for everyone to disappear. So, timing is everything. Don’t all of a sudden stop texting her, but let the conversation die. And then text her later or the next day. That’s one of the things you really need to remember about how to ask a girl out over text. [Read: 11 realistic reasons why she isn’t responding to your texts]

3. Keep the conversation going

Okay, so she’s replying, and you’re finally having a conversation with her. Now, you have to keep the conversation going. If she’s a natural talker, then you won’t have any problem carrying on the conversation.

However, if she’s more shy and reserved, ask her questions or find a topic that she’s interested in. If you do some slight research beforehand, find out what she likes so you have an idea of what to bring up if the conversation starts to run dry. [Read: Make her yours – How to flirt with a girl over text]

But remember, if this is your first conversation with her *and it’s still a little rigid*, there’s nothing wrong with saving your question for the next conversation. If you rush it, it may feel too forced. It’s never a bad thing to know when to stop talking!

4. Move toward your goal

You’ve been texting her for a while now, and you’re wondering when you should ask the question. Listen, let the conversation take its natural course. Don’t try to rush through the subjects like you’re ticking them off of the list.

But, before you hang up, remember to ask her out. I mean, that’s why you’re talking to her, right? So, don’t get nervous all of a sudden – you made it through the conversation, so just finish it!  [Read: Creative and cute ways to ask a girl out]

5. Go for it – ask her out!

If you’ve been wondering how to ask a girl out over text, then you have to, umm, actually ask her out. If you’re texting her, and there’s all of a sudden an elephant in the room, maybe it’s time for you to pop that question. Not the marriage one. The dating one. Let’s not get that far ahead.

It doesn’t have to be a one-on-one date if you think she’s a little nervous. Ask her to the movies with a group of people. That way, you can have a casual encounter without having the feeling of it being a date.

In fact, she’ll be more willing to come out if she’s with her friends – it’s like a security blanket for her. When she’s more comfortable with you, then ask her out on a solo date so you two can get to know each other more intimately. [Read: What to text a girl – Dos, don’ts and all the secrets you need to know]

6. Have a plan

Have a plan ready for the date, whether it’s one-on-one or a group event. There’s nothing worse than when a guy asks you out, you say yes, and then he asks you what you would like to do.

You asked me out! I thought you had a plan! This puts us in an awkward position to all of a sudden try and come up with an interesting date idea. We girls need time to prepare for that. And you do, too. So, do a quick search on the internet and see what kind of events are happening around your city.

Maybe there’s a block party or a food festival going on. Have a couple choices ready and let her see which one she’s interested in checking out. Those are much better date ideas than going to see a movie – you can do better than that. So, if you really want to ask this girl out, then at least be somewhat prepared. [Read: Top 50 first date ideas to completely wow your date]

7. Figure out logistics

Don’t let her pick the day and time. Have it ready. I mean, don’t say, “we are meeting tomorrow at 6:00.” That’s a little too dictator-like for us. But say, “I can pick you up tomorrow at 6:00, if that works for you.”

This shows her that you’re able to take charge and actually take a girl out on a proper date. Girls like a man who can take charge of a situation. It gets us going. [Read: 15 Places to go on a first date to ace the date and land the second]

10 Fun and quirky texts to ask a girl out

You’ve followed the steps above and you’ve got to the point where you’re going to do the asking. You’re going to ask her for a date. Scary, right? Well, yes, but remember that if she says ‘no’ or she isn’t that keen, don’t take it to heart. If this girl doesn’t want to go on a date with you, there are countless others who will. However, let’s hope that she says ‘yes’ and you can start planning.

If you’re not sure how to do the actual asking, let’s look at 10 easy messages you can can send which get to the heart of the question in a fun and quirky way. Everyone loves fun and quirky, right? [Read: How to entertain a girl over text: Excite her mind with words]

1. “A new Thai restaurant has opened in town, do you fancy coming with me to try it?” – It might also be an idea to figure out what her favorite type of food is beforehand and suggest that place instead

2. “The sun is shining, let’s go for lunch and have a real conversation”

3. “I’m so pleased your interview went well, let me take you out for dinner to celebrate” – Obviously, it doesn’t have to be an interview, but anything that she’s been talking to you about that went well

4. “You, me, coffee, what do you say?”

5. “I’m very bad at dancing, do you want to come laugh at me this weekend in the club?” [Read: What’s on her mind when you approach a girl in a club?]

6. “Let’s take this conversation past texting, what time shall I pick you up on Friday?”

7. “So, when you going to take me out?” – Cheeky, but it will get a reaction!

8. “I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to ask you out. Fancy making it easier on me?”

9. “I challenge you to a competition – two dates, two restaurants, let’s see who picks the best one”

10. “There’s a carnival in the park this weekend, I’m scared of fast rides, do you want to hold my hand?” [Read: 20 Flirty texting facts to help you have a good love life]

Tailor your text to the situation and how things are going with the girl, but these are a few fun suggestions you could try, if your own ideas decide to temporarily desert you.

[Read: How to impress a girl – 15 atypical secrets you really need to know]

Now you can stop wondering how to ask a girl out over text. It really isn’t as hard as it looks! If you follow these steps, then you’ll have no problem getting her to say ‘yes’.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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