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How to Ask a Girl Out Over Text: 7 Steps to an Instant “Yes”

how to ask a girl out over text

If you’re too nervous to ask your crush out in person, you can opt to ask her out over text. Here are some tips for how to ask a girl out over text.

It’s a new era – people are texting each other nudes, snap chatting their dinner, and catching Pokemon. I mean, why not ask someone out over text? Maybe you briefly met them, or you get nervous while trying to call them. Listen, at the end of the day, you have to do what makes you feel comfortable. If you have no idea how to ask a girl out over text, just follow these simple steps, and it’s practically impossible for you to go wrong!

How to ask a girl out over text

If texting is your thing, then it’s the way to ask a girl out. But, getting “lol” or “k” as a response isn’t going to cut it. So, since your phone is now anxiously in your hand, let’s see how to ask a girl out over text – and get a yes. [Read: How to text flirt with a friend and get naughty]

#1 Start with a strong opening. Don’t just send her a text that says, “hey” or even worse, “heyyy.” Come on man, you’re better than that. I know, deep down, you’re full of topics and conversation starters. If you send a one-worded text, you’re going to get a one worded reply – if you’re lucky.

If a guy just texts me “hey,” odds are I won’t reply unless we’re already friends. And even then, I know this conversation won’t be interesting. Where can you go from there? Here you go. This is what happens:



“What’s up?”

“Watching a movie, you?”

“Just chillin’ lol”


And end of scene.

I imagine your eyes were slowly closing while reading that because mine were while typing it. It’s dull and lame. Start with a good opener. Ask if she’s watched a new movie that’s come out, or mention something funny or weird that happened to you. Whatever it is, please, just don’t make it a one-worded text. [Read: 50 flirty text messages that are sure to make any girl smile]

#2 Feel the mood. If you’re texting her, and you’re feeling that she’s not really feeling the conversation, then abort the mission. I repeat – abort mission. Maybe she’s grumpy or had an argument with her mom. And trust me, if you ask her out during that time, you may not get the answer you want.

Women decide things depending on our emotional state at the time. If a guy asks me out and I’m already in a bad mood, I’m not thinking, “Say yes, because tomorrow you’ll be in a better mood.” No. Never.

In fact, I’m probably wishing for everyone to disappear. So, timing is everything. Don’t all of a sudden stop texting her, but let the conversation die. And then text her later or the next day. That’s one of the things you really need to remember about how to ask a girl out over text. [Read: 11 realistic reasons why she isn’t responding to your texts]

#3 Keep the conversation going. Okay, so she’s replying, and you’re finally having a conversation with her. Now, you have to keep the conversation going. If she’s a natural talker, then you won’t have any problem carrying on the conversation.

However, if she’s more shy and reserved, ask her questions or find a topic that she’s interested in. If you do some slight research beforehand, find out what she likes so you have an idea of what to bring up if the conversation starts to run dry. [Read: Make her yours – How to flirt with a girl over text]

But remember, if this is your first conversation with her *and it’s still a little rigid*, there’s nothing wrong with saving your question for the next conversation. If you rush it, it may feel too forced.

#4 Move towards your goal. You’ve been texting her for a while now, and you’re wondering when you should ask the question. Listen, let the conversation take its natural course. Don’t try to rush through the subjects like you’re ticking them off of the list.

But, before you hang up, remember to ask her out. I mean, that’s why you’re talking to her, right? So, don’t get nervous all of a sudden – you made it through the conversation, so just finish it!  [Read: Creative and cute ways to ask a girl out]

#5 Ask her out. If you’ve been wondering how to ask a girl out over text, then you have to, umm, actually ask her out. If you’re texting her, and there’s all of a sudden an elephant in the room, maybe it’s time for you to pop that question. Not the marriage one. The dating one. Let’s not get that far ahead.

It doesn’t have to be a one-on-one date if you think she’s a little nervous. Ask her to the movies with a group of people. That way, you can have a casual encounter without having the feeling of it being a date.

In fact, she’ll be more willing to come out if she’s with her friends – it’s like a security blanket for her. When she’s more comfortable with you, then ask her out on a solo date so you two can get to know each other more intimately. [Read: What to text a girl – Dos, don’ts and all the secrets you need to know]

#6 Have a plan. Have a plan ready for the date, whether it’s one-on-one or a group event. There’s nothing worse than when a guy asks you out, you say yes, and then he asks you what you would like to do.

You asked me out! I thought you had a plan! This puts us in an awkward position to all of a sudden try and come up with an interesting date idea. We girls need time to prepare for that. And you do, too. So, do a quick search on the internet and see what kind of events are happening around your city.

Maybe there’s a block party or a food festival going on. Have a couple choices ready and let her see which one she’s interested in checking out. Those are much better date ideas than going to see a movie – you can do better than that. So, if you really want to ask this girl out, then at least be somewhat prepared. [Read: Top 50 first date ideas to completely wow your date]

#7 Figure out logistics. Don’t let her pick the day and time. Have it ready. I mean, don’t say, “we are meeting tomorrow at 6:00.” That’s a little too dictator-like for us. But say, “I can pick you up tomorrow at 6:00, if that works for you.”

This shows her that you’re able to take charge and actually take a girl out on a proper date. Girls like a man who can take charge of a situation. It gets us going.

[Read: How to impress a girl – 15 atypical secrets you really need to know]

Now you can stop wondering how to ask a girl out over text. It really isn’t as hard as it looks! If you follow these steps, then you’ll have no problem getting her to say yes.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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One thought on “How to Ask a Girl Out Over Text: 7 Steps to an Instant “Yes””

  1. Juanita Rios says:

    You can tell this whole site is run by white men.Articles like this encouraging sexual harassment of women.Sickening.How about you check your privilege at the door and stop thinking you can text women asking them to go with you.You have no right to stalk,assault,abuse or use a woman in such ways.If a girl wants a relationship she will make it clear her price.She will approach the male and tell him it is acceptable for them to be in a relationship.Sexual activity is off limits until the payment in cash has been made clear.A woman is not going to tolerate getting violated by a man and putting up with his sick urges for no payout.We get no pleasure from sex physically,in fact is is painful and we never get an orgasm.So why should we tolerate harassment for no money?

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