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Girlfriend Texting Another Guy? 27 Firm Ways to Talk to Her & Deal with It

You have a bad feeling that your girlfriend is texting someone she shouldn’t be – a guy. So, here’s how to deal with your girlfriend texting another guy.

deal with girlfriend texting another guy

A lot of people are suspicious and wonder if their partner is texting someone else behind their back. No one wants to go through that, right? But what if it happens? You will need to know how to handle it if your girlfriend really is texting another guy.

Now, if your girlfriend is talking to another guy and you’re noticing that this person isn’t just a friend, then you’re obviously freaking out inside. Think about it, who wouldn’t be?

[Read: 30 sly signs your girlfriend is texting or talking to another guy secretly]

The common reasons why your girlfriend might be texting another guy

If you think that your girlfriend is texting another guy, you probably want to know why. Well, there are a lot of different reasons she could be doing it, and it’s different for everyone. But this is a good list of why she might be doing this.

1. He’s just a friend

You might be freaking out that she’s texting a guy that she’s romantically interested in, but he might just be a friend.

She might not have any interest in him at all, so that is a definite possibility. You won’t really know unless you ask.

2. She works with him *or goes to school*

There are some logistical and logical reasons that your girlfriend could be texting another guy. Maybe they are working on a project together at work or school, so they need to be in communication. This isn’t an uncommon reason.

3. She’s bored

Girls like to talk to people and have conversations, even if they are over text. So, maybe you watch a lot of sports when you are with her, and she gets bored.

And if she’s texting someone else, maybe she’s just doing it because it’s more interesting than watching that baseball game.

4. She has a crush on him

This one is your worst fear, right? And it could be true.

Regardless of where she met him or how well she knows him, she could have a crush. Now, it could be harmless and she has no intention of pursuing it. Or, maybe it’s not harmless. But only she knows for sure.

5. He has a crush on her

She might not have any feelings of attraction for him, but he does for her. He may or may not know that she has a boyfriend. She could be leading him on, or she could just be friendly and not know that he is interested in pursuing her. [Read: How girls flirt – 22 signs she’s flirting more than just being nice]

6. She’s an attention-seeker

Let’s face it – some girls are drama queens. They like it when guys show them a lot of attention. It makes them feel good about themselves.

So, you have to ask yourself why she needs this attention from other guys. Are you neglecting her? Or maybe she’s just insecure.

7. She thinks the texting is harmless

Texting other people can be completely harmless. And maybe in your girlfriend’s mind, texting another guy may be totally acceptable.

Even if she does have a crush on him, she might have no intentions of having it interfere with her relationship with you. So, she doesn’t think much about it.

8. She doesn’t know appropriate boundaries

Some people don’t think that texting someone else behind their partner’s back is considered cheating. After all, they’re just typing things on a phone, right?

So she might not know that this behavior crosses the line when you are in a committed relationship. That’s not an excuse, but it could be true.

9. She’s passive-aggressive

No offense here, but maybe you are doing something wrong and she is angry at you. She might have told you, and you ignored what she said.

So, maybe to “get back at you” in a passive-aggressive way, she decides that you “deserve it” when your girlfriend texts another guy.

10. She needs novelty

Some people are bored with committed relationships or being with the same person. It’s sad, but it’s true. They naturally like to have some variety or novelty in their lives.

She might be that way because emotionally immature and doesn’t know that she should be loyal to one person.

11. She’s not happy with you

You probably don’t want to hear this one, but maybe you are doing something wrong in the relationship. Maybe you’re neglecting her needs and are selfish.

Whatever the reasons, your girlfriend might not be happy with you anymore, so she’s texting another guy and keeping her options open. [Read: Why does your girlfriend hate you? 15 ways to find out for sure]

How to deal with your girlfriend texting another guy

Now, most guys would keep it to themselves and let these feelings boil up inside of them. Until one day they freak out and lose their shit. We don’t recommend this method, and you know that’s not how you should be handling it.

If you want to really talk to your partner, becoming aggressive will only bring silence between you and push her away. That’s not going to work. Instead, you want her to open up to you and tell you what’s going on.

But in order to do that, you’re going to need to know how to deal with the situation. Good thing you’re here because we’re going to tell you how to deal with your girlfriend texting another guy. Frankly, it’s not an easy situation. [Read: The guy best friend – Is he good or nothing but trouble for a girl?]

1. What is your relationship status? 

Many people become upset when their partner is texting someone, but at the end of the day, they’re not even in a committed relationship.

This doesn’t mean that what they’re doing is necessarily right, but what is the relationship status between you two? Are you two casually seeing each other? Or is this a serious relationship?

If the boundaries in the relationship are clear, then your feelings are justifiable. If you’re not willing to commit, but you’re jealous that she’s talking to other guys, that’s a different story. [Read: 10 reasons why your girlfriend flirts with other guys]

2. Have you met him before? 

Okay, so let’s assume that you’re in a serious relationship with your girlfriend and you find that she’s texting another guy. With that being said, you’ve probably met all of her close friends already, including the guys.

Is this guy one of her friends that you’ve met? Or is this someone suddenly new that’s popped up for no real reason.

If you’ve met him before and you’ve seen their relationship without feeling threatened, the odds are nothing is happening. [Read: How to tame the green-eyed monster of jealousy]

3. Don’t act on temporary emotions

You’re not happy that she’s texting another guy, that is completely understandable. But don’t freak out. When you see your girlfriend texting another guy, instead of jumping to conclusions and pointing fingers, take it easy.

You can ask who she’s talking to, listen to what she has to say, and then express yourself. Or, you can also wait a couple of days and monitor her behavior.

4. Don’t jump to conclusions

It’s so easy to point the finger and accuse someone of cheating. It’s our biggest fear, so we’re obviously coming to that conclusion straight away.

But instead of yelling at her that she’s cheating on you, take it easy. Jumping to conclusions never helped anyone get to their destination.

5. Gather enough evidence

This makes it sounds like you need to become a detective, but if you’re sure of what’s going on, why jump the gun?

Instead, give yourself some time to see what’s going on. Has her behavior changed? Is she pulling away from you? Hiding her phone? Going out with “new” friends more often?

When you decide to talk to her, you need to be able to show her that something isn’t right. That is if you find anything. You may not find anything suspicious, but, you should still talk to her about it regardless. [Read: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheater in the act]

6. Distinguish between friends and more than friends

We all have friends from the opposite gender, and we all know that there are friends and then there are friends. 

Do you get what we mean? Is this person she’s talking to just a friend or are you seeing that she has some sexual chemistry with them and possible flirting with them via text.

7. Talk to her about it

Okay, so you’ve taken some time, cooled down, and now you’re ready to approach her. It’s great that you didn’t freak out straight away.

It’s time for you to talk to her about this. Sit down with her and explain how you’ve been feeling and why you’ve been feeling this way.

Listen, this doesn’t make you look like a pussy, you’re a human being and you have feelings. [Read: 34 relationship red flags most people completely ignore]

8. Don’t show jealousy in front of her

She may be one of those girls that live off of you being jealous. If she is, well, you should have dumped her by now.

Of course, you’re feeling jealous, but try not to show that in front of her. When that happens, it’s a turn-off and also worrisome for the future. A lot of girls have male friends, and they don’t want to lose them.

9. After you talk to her, watch her actions

A real partner will listen to what you have to say and how they make you feel and find a way to create a happy medium.

If this guy who is texting your girlfriend is just a friend, the odds are she doesn’t want to lose him, but she doesn’t want you to feel threatened. So, she’ll find a way to make it balance.

10. Meet him

Now, if she’s cheating on you, you don’t need to meet this guy, but if this is her friend, why not meet him?

Not only will you be able to get to know him, but you’ll also get to see how their relationship functions, and that’s really important.

11. You will have to make a change as well

If this guy is a friend, he’s not going anywhere and you shouldn’t expect that. You need to work on your fears and anxiety when it comes to her talking to other guys.

Not every guy she talks to is someone she’s sleeping with or wants to be with. [Read: I’m a boyfriend who’s too clingy and needy]

12. Don’t ask her to cut communication

Unless it’s a guy she’s interested in. If she’s interested in this guy, you can either leave or ask her to cut ties with him. She has to make the decision.

But if he’s a friend, don’t ask her to cut communication with him. It’s a friend, and it’ll put a lot of pressure and stress on her. [Read: How to stop being insecure in a relationship and learn to be happy together]

13. Ask to see her texts

If your girlfriend is not texting another guy behind your back, then she shouldn’t have a problem showing you all of her texts.

Even if she is actually texting a guy, if it’s innocent, then she should have no problem showing you what they are talking about. However, if she refuses, then you have your answer.

14. Ask her to share her password on her phone

If she was doing something wrong and you are trying to rebuild the trust in your relationship then it is reasonable to ask her to share the password to her phone so you can check it whenever you want.

She will have no problem doing this if she is serious about saving your relationship. [Read: 15 signs your girlfriend is cheating on you – time to confront her?]

15. Ask yourself what you should do differently

Sure, most of the blame should go on her when she’s doing something like this.

But, maybe she’s doing this because you are doing something wrong in the relationship too. Ask her – and yourself – how you can change your behavior to make her happier and your relationship stronger.

16. Determine if you want to stay with her or not

At the end of the day, you are going to have to assess what you want to do if you find you find out that your girlfriend is really texting another guy behind your back.

Can you forgive her? Should you forgive her? You need to have a talk with her – and yourself – about what you are going to do about it now.

[Read: The insecure traits in a man will make a girl run away fast]

It’s not easy being in a relationship. Before you jump to conclusions, learn how to deal with your girlfriend texting another guy the right way.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...