Girlfriend Takes You for Granted? 32 Signs, Whys & Ways to Show Your Worth

Girlfriend takes you for granted? Learn how to recognize the signs, communicate openly, and nurture mutual respect.

girlfriend takes you for granted

Feeling like a spare tire in your own relationship? If your girlfriend takes you for granted, you might find yourself in the trunk of emotions, inflated with confusion and deflated with neglect.

This experience, unfortunately, is more common than a flat tire on a bumpy road. Being taken for granted in a relationship is akin to emotional neglect, where your presence, feelings, and needs are consistently overlooked.

You’re there, kept in reserve, but never really engaged or valued. It’s as if you’re ready for the journey, but left unused and unappreciated.

Understanding this feeling, recognizing the signs, and learning how to pump life back into the relationship can make the difference between being a spare tire and becoming the main wheel that keeps things moving smoothly.

[Read: Taking someone for granted – Why we do it, bad effects and 27 ways to stop doing it]

What It Means When Your Girlfriend Takes You for Granted in a Relationship

Wondering what it means when your girl takes you for granted and doesn’t value you anymore? Here’s what it means, and why it happens.

1. How Love Can Slide into Apathy

Love doesn’t always stay in the fast lane. Sometimes, it hits a slippery slope toward indifference. This slide isn’t a sudden drop but a gradual descent.

One moment, you’re the main attraction, the next, you’re the spare tire. It’s essential to recognize this shift and understand that apathy isn’t just a lack of caring, it’s a failure to actively engage in loving behaviors.

Like a tire losing traction, the connection can slip away unnoticed until it’s too late.

2. Unpacking the Psychological Dynamics

Reciprocity is the give-and-take of relationships, much like a well-balanced tire keeping the car on course. When one partner takes and the other merely gives, the relationship loses balance, wobbling like a misaligned wheel.

Understanding the underlying psychology, such as attachment styles and unmet needs, can help recalibrate the relationship’s balance.

It’s a matter of alignment and attunement, where both partners need to be on the same wavelength to keep the relationship running smoothly.

3. Side Effects and Long-term Impacts on Self-esteem

Continuously feeling like a spare tire doesn’t just dent the relationship; it punctures self-esteem. Long-term, this emotional neglect can lead to feelings of unworthiness, anxiety, or depression.

The relationship’s health isn’t the only thing at stake, personal well-being is on the line, too, affecting other aspects of life. It’s like driving on a flat tire – you can do it for a while, but it’s damaging and will inevitably lead to bigger problems.

Addressing the issue and pumping up that self-esteem is crucial to getting back on the road to emotional well-being. [Read: The worst types of girlfriends who’ll make your life a living hell]

Signs Your Girlfriend Takes You for Granted

Now that we’re familiar with the theory on why your girl takes you for granted, let’s take a look at the signs to know just how badly you’re being taken for granted. *or if you’re just imagining all of it!*

1. Ignored Communications

Your texts, calls, and comments seem to have found their way into a black hole. This pattern leaves you feeling disconnected, and the silence becomes a metaphor for an emotional void in the relationship.

It’s as if your words no longer hold value, leaving you stranded at the crossroads of confusion and neglect.

The ignored communications morph from an occasional oversight into a painful pattern. The lack of response sends a clear message that your voice is no longer a priority, casting a shadow of doubt over the very foundation of your relationship.

2. The “Hey, did you say something?” Syndrome

Conversations with her become a one-way street, your words drifting into oblivion. Whether you’re discussing daily events or sharing your deepest feelings, her mind seems elsewhere.

It’s like speaking into a void, your voice echoing back without acknowledgment.

This isn’t just about missing a sentence here and there, it’s a consistent lack of engagement. The emotional disconnection it creates chips away at the intimacy you once shared, leading to a widening gap that can be challenging to bridge.

3. From “We” to “Me”

Once, your dreams and plans were intertwined like hands held tight on a journey. Now, there’s an unspoken distancing, a shift from “We” to “Me” that leaves you feeling like a spectator in your own relationship. The road you were traveling together has forked, and she’s taken a different path.

This shift is more than linguistic. It’s symbolic of a relationship that’s lost its shared vision. The dreams you nurtured together seem forgotten, replaced by a focus on individual goals and desires, leaving you feeling sidelined and adrift.

4. The Side Eye Over Eye Contact

Eye contact is a powerful connector, a silent language of love. But those loving gazes have turned fleeting, replaced with glances that slide away, avoiding true connection.

It’s as if an invisible barrier has been erected, keeping you from reaching her.

This withdrawal from eye contact isn’t merely an unconscious habit. It’s a sign of deeper emotional disengagement.

Like a wilted flower, the intimacy and trust that once blossomed between you begin to wither, leaving you longing for the warmth that once was. [Read: Stagnant relationship – 36 standstill signs, why and how to make it progress]

5. Cold Shoulder to Daily Life

Shared routines, once a comforting dance of togetherness, have turned into solo acts.

Whether it’s morning coffee or evening walks, these rituals that bonded you seem to have lost their charm for her. The connection they fostered feels severed, leaving you feeling alone even in her presence.

This cold shoulder extends beyond activities, it seeps into the very fabric of your daily life. You begin to feel like an extra in her daily drama, left to play a supporting role while she takes center stage, neglecting the partnership that once defined your relationship.

6. Attachment Theory Alert

The way she’s pulling away may be linked to her attachment style, revealing hidden dynamics. Whether it’s anxious clinging followed by sudden withdrawal or consistent emotional distancing, these patterns have roots in her relationship history.

Understanding these patterns can be like deciphering a code, unlocking reasons behind her behavior. But it’s not always easy.

Without open communication and willingness to work on these issues, they can continue to undermine the relationship, creating a cycle of detachment and confusion. [Read: Attachment theory – The 4 types, 19 signs and ways you attach to others]

7. Affection Drought

Affection, once as natural as breathing, has become scarce. Those warm hugs, gentle touches, and loving kisses seem to have dried up, leaving an arid landscape where a lush garden once bloomed.

It feels like drought has settled over your emotional landscape, leaving you parched and longing for connection.

This isn’t merely about physical touch, it’s about emotional closeness, too. The drought extends into the very core of the relationship, sapping the vitality and joy that once nourished your love.

It leaves you feeling disconnected and undervalued, longing for the oasis that once quenched your emotional thirst.

8. Future Planning? Not for Two

Future plans that once included both of you now seem to be her solo journey. Whether it’s career choices, travel, or life goals, you find yourself on the outside looking in.

Your shared dreams have faded into the background, replaced by a focus on her individual path.

This shift isn’t merely about changing plans, it’s a fundamental realignment of priorities. Your shared future, once bright and promising, now seems uncertain and cloudy.

It leaves you feeling unanchored, unsure of your place in her life and her heart. [Read: 37 real signs she’s serious about you and wants something exclusive]

9. Interest in You Takes a Detour

Her interest in your hobbies, passions, and even daily events has taken a back seat. Conversations become monologues about her life, her interests, her needs.

Your life seems to have taken a detour in her mind, leaving you feeling neglected not just as a partner but as a unique individual.

This isn’t just a shift in conversation, it’s a sign of deeper emotional disengagement. When interest wanes, it can lead to a profound sense of loneliness and misunderstanding.

10. Self-Centered Conversations

Dialogue has turned into monologue, with her in the spotlight and you holding the microphone. Conversations focus on her needs, her feelings, her world, and you feel relegated to the sidelines. It’s like being an audience member in a show that once starred both of you. [Read: 23 signs she’s just using you, walking all over you and playing you for fun]

The Reasons Behind Why Your Girlfriend Takes You For Granted

It’s one thing to be taken for granted in a relationship, but is it all your fault? Is it something you’ve done, or is her taking you for granted all about her own issues?

Let’s take a look at why your girl takes you for granted, and your part in this.

1. Past Relationship Patterns and the Fear of Vulnerability

Past relationships can be like luggage, sometimes carrying hidden fears and insecurities. Maybe she’s been hurt before and now guards her emotions like a fortress.

Vulnerability can be scary, and those walls are built to protect, not to shut you out.

Yet, these defenses can stifle the relationship, leading her to take things for granted as a way to maintain control. It’s like a relationship safety mechanism gone haywire.

Understanding and compassion can be the keys to unlocking her heart, but it’s a delicate dance that requires patience and empathy.

2. The Convenience Conundrum

Comfort is the warm blanket of relationships, but it can also lead to complacency. When she’s too comfortable, she may start taking the relationship for granted, thinking it’s an unshakable constant in her life.

Complacency doesn’t happen overnight. It creeps in, subtly shifting the dynamics. It’s not about a lack of love but a lack of effort.

Reviving the spark requires both partners to shake off the comfort zone and reengage with passion and purpose. [Read: Relationship of convenience – 30 signs, pros and cons, and why people like it]

3. The Psychological Dynamics like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs isn’t just for psychology textbooks, it’s a window into human motivation. Maybe her basic needs or higher aspirations are taking precedence, causing her to neglect the relationship.

This isn’t an excuse but an insight. Relationships thrive on understanding, and recognizing her needs can help bridge the gap.

Yet, it takes two to tango, and her self-actualization should not mean your emotional neglect. Striking a balance requires open communication and mutual respect.

4. The Illusion of Permanence

Sometimes, taking someone for granted stems from a mistaken belief that they’ll always be there, no matter what. This illusion can lead her to prioritize other aspects of life, leaving the relationship in the backseat.

Breaking this illusion requires a reality check, a reevaluation of priorities. Relationships need nurturing and care, like a delicate plant.

It’s a shared responsibility to ensure that love doesn’t get lost in the daily grind, overshadowed by the illusion of permanence.

5. Miscommunication and Unspoken Expectations

Words left unsaid can be like silent ghosts haunting a relationship. Maybe she’s unaware of how her actions affect you. Miscommunication, or worse, no communication, can lead her down a path of taking you for granted without even realizing it.

This is a two-way street, where expressing your feelings and needs can be a game-changer. It’s about breaking the silence and forging a connection through honesty and transparency.

It’s not about blame but understanding, a path to healing and growth. [Read: Why relationships fail and 25 reasons why love can fall apart in months]

6. Shifting Priorities and Life Changes

Life is a dynamic landscape, and people change, grow, and evolve. Sometimes, this growth can lead her to take the relationship for granted, not out of neglect but because of shifting priorities and life goals.

It requires empathy, flexibility, and a willingness to grow together, ensuring that the relationship doesn’t become a casualty of life’s ever-changing terrain.

7. The Siren Call of Novelty

The new and exciting can be like a siren song, pulling her attention away from the relationship. Whether it’s a new job, hobby, or social circle, these novelties can lead her to take you for granted as her focus shifts.

This isn’t necessarily about dissatisfaction with the relationship but a fascination with the new. Open dialogue, shared experiences, and rekindling interest in each other can break the spell and bring her focus back to the relationship, where it belongs.

How to Handle Your All-Too-Comfortable Girlfriend

Whether you choose to fix the relationship, confront your girlfriend about it, or try to heal the relationship from within, here’s everything you need to do to feel more appreciated in love, and less taken for granted by your girl.

1. Effective Communication: Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace *of Mind*!

Start the Conversation

If she’s taken up permanent residence in her comfort zone, it’s time to have “the talk.” But no, not THAT talk!

Approach the conversation with empathy and assertiveness, not aggression. It’s not about blame but clarity, so pick your words like you pick your battles – wisely.

Active Listening

Communication isn’t just about speaking; it’s about listening too. Let her share her side without interruption or judgment. Imagine her words as clues to a mystery that you’re solving together, not opposing lawyers in a courtroom drama.

The Power of “I” Statements

Instead of launching accusations like emotional missiles, use “I” statements. For instance, “I feel neglected when you ignore my texts” rather than “You always ignore me!” It’s like relationship judo, using empathy, not force.

2. Creating Emotional Boundaries Without Building Walls

Know Your Boundaries

Understanding what you’re comfortable with is like having a relationship compass. It’s okay to have needs and expectations, and it’s vital to communicate them clearly.

The Art of Negotiation

Boundaries shouldn’t be walls that shut her out. Think of them as guidelines that help both partners navigate the relationship landscape. It’s a give-and-take, a dance, not a duel.

Respecting Her Boundaries Too

Of course, recognizing her boundaries is equally essential. It’s about creating a balanced relationship ecosystem, where both partners thrive, not just survive.

3. Leveraging Operant Conditioning *yes, you’re not a lab rat, but it helps!*

The Science of Behavior

Operant conditioning isn’t just for psychologists in lab coats. It’s a way to understand and shape behavior. No, you’re not training her like a pet, but recognizing the rewards and consequences that drive actions.

Positive Reinforcement

Encourage the behavior you want by acknowledging and appreciating it. A simple “thank you” or a smile can work wonders. Think of it as watering the plants of your relationship garden.

Avoiding Negative Reinforcement

Avoid rewarding undesirable behavior, even unintentionally. If she’s taking you for granted, don’t reinforce it by bending over backward to please her. It’s about balance, not submission.

4. Realigning Expectations: The Relationship Roadmap

Understanding Expectations

Sometimes, the root of feeling taken for granted lies in mismatched expectations. Understanding what you both want from the relationship can clear the fog.

Expressing Needs Clearly

Being explicit about your needs isn’t being demanding; it’s being honest. This helps her understand your emotional destination.

Shared Goals and Visions

Creating shared relationship goals fosters teamwork. It’s not about “her way” or “your way” but finding “our way.”

5. Rekindling the Spark: Romance, Connection, and Spontaneity

The Importance of Quality Time

Spending quality time together isn’t just about Netflix marathons but connecting, laughing, and creating shared memories.

Surprise and Delight

Spontaneous acts of kindness or surprises can reignite the spark. It’s like sprinkling relationship fairy dust, turning the mundane magical.

Growing Together

Sharing hobbies, interests, and experiences helps you grow together, not apart. It’s about weaving your lives together, not just coexisting.

6. Self-Care and Independence: The Relationship Oxygen Mask

Your Happiness Matters

Just like on an airplane, you need to put your oxygen mask on first. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential.

Fostering Independence

Healthy relationships thrive on interdependence, not dependence. Encouraging each other to have personal interests, friends, and time apart strengthens the relationship.

Reflection and Growth

Regular self-reflection helps you grow as an individual and as a partner. It’s like relationship maintenance, checking in with yourself to ensure you’re on the right path.

7. Professional Help If Needed: The Relationship Lifeboat

When to Seek Help

Sometimes, the relationship waters get too stormy to navigate alone. Recognizing when professional help might be needed isn’t a failure but a wise decision.

Therapy Options

Couples therapy or individual counseling can offer insights and tools tailored to your specific situation. It’s like hiring a relationship guide, an expert to help you through the wilderness.

Trust the Process

Therapy isn’t a quick fix but a process. It requires commitment, honesty, and a willingness to work together.

[Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship and fix a lack of it]

How to Avoid Your Girlfriend Taking You for Granted

Sometimes, people take us for granted because we’re people pleasers or try way too hard to win over them. Other times, it’s just who they are as a person, and setting the right boundaries at the very beginning is what you need to do.

But if you ever want to prevent anyone in your life from taking you for granted, here are the steps you need to learn.

1. Building a Healthy Relationship from Day One

Foundation Matters

Think of your relationship as a house; a strong foundation ensures stability. Establishing clear communication, trust, and understanding from the beginning sets the tone.

Shared Values and Principles

Aligning core values acts like relationship glue, keeping you connected even when things get tough. It’s about marching to the same love drumbeat.

Continuous Nurturing

A relationship is a living thing, not a set-it-and-forget-it gadget. Regular nurturing keeps it vibrant and alive. [Read: Boundaries in a relationship – 43 healthy dating rules you need to set very early on]

2. Regular Check-ins: Emotional Oil Changes for Relationship Engines

Scheduled Heart-to-Hearts

Regular check-ins allow you to gauge the relationship’s temperature. It’s not about formal meetings but honest, open chats where you both share how you feel.

Staying Proactive

Waiting for problems to arise is like waiting for your car to break down before checking the oil. Regular emotional maintenance avoids breakdowns.

Celebrate Successes

Acknowledge and celebrate the good times, the wins, the growth. It adds positive fuel to your relationship’s engine. [Read: 20 non-negotiables in a relationship you should never ever compromise on]

3. Applying the Theory of Planned Behavior to Stay in Sync

Understanding Intentions

This psychological theory highlights how attitudes, social pressures, and a sense of control shape behavior. Applying it to your relationship means understanding what drives both of you.

Create Action Plans

Knowing what you both want allows you to create joint action plans. It’s like having a relationship GPS, always guiding you in the right direction.

Adapt and Evolve

Being in sync doesn’t mean being static. Adapting and evolving together keeps the relationship dynamic and alive.

4. Mutual Respect: The Relationship Golden Rule

Equal Partners

Treating each other with respect and equality avoids the trap of taking each other for granted. It’s about recognizing each other’s worth and honoring it.

Kindness as a Default

Regular acts of kindness and appreciation keep the relationship fresh.

These small but meaningful gestures create a positive atmosphere, reinforcing the bond and ensuring that both partners feel valued and cared for.

Avoiding Complacency

Staying engaged, interested, and involved prevents complacency. It’s about being present, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. [Read: How to respect yourself – 37 secrets of self-love, self-respect and self-belief]

5. Creating Lasting Memories: Relationship Milestones

Shared Experiences

Building memories through shared experiences cements your bond. It’s like collecting love souvenirs from your shared life journey.

Keep the Adventure Alive

Regularly exploring new activities, places, or hobbies keeps the relationship exciting. It’s about continuous discovery, both of each other and as a couple.

Honor Special Moments

Recognizing and celebrating anniversaries, achievements, or special moments keeps the relationship special, not routine.

Grant Yourself the Relationship You Deserve!

Relationships are complex, multifaceted, and ever-changing. They require effort, understanding, and commitment from both partners.

Avoiding the feeling of being taken for granted isn’t about placing blame or keeping score. It’s about creating a shared space of love, respect, and connection.

Understanding the dynamics that lead to feeling taken for granted, recognizing the signs, and taking active steps to maintain a healthy and vibrant relationship doesn’t just happen. It requires intention, mindfulness, and a willingness to grow together.

And remember, relationships are not only about giving but also receiving. Both partners need to feel cherished, appreciated, and valued.

[Read: What do women want in a man? 41 traits that make a man VERY desirable]

Take charge, be proactive, and don’t let the situation where your girlfriend takes you for granted define your relationship. Grant yourself the relationship you deserve!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...