Figuring out how to get a girl to like you does not have to be such hard work. It isn’t about wooing her or impressing her but actually getting to know her.
When you want a girl to like you, it’s because you like her. Show her that. Show her you appreciate her as a person.
What girls want from a guy is to be seen and understood. It isn’t about telling her she’s pretty, buying her jewelry, or even being a traditional gentleman. Ensuring you’re being genuine about your intentions is most important.
[Read: How to get a girl to notice you and like you even before you talk to her]
You want to make sure you’re always being yourself. If you try to put on an act to impress her, she won’t be getting to know the real you. And just so you know, girls can be quite intuitive so she’ll probably see right through it anyway.
As a girl, I also feel the need to remind you that getting a girl to like you and making a girl like you are two different things. Getting a girl to like you means catching her attention, showing her your true qualities, and giving her the chance to make that choice.
If you’re making her like you, you aren’t respecting her. If she simply isn’t interested, you need to remember to back off. Not every girl will like you, even if you follow every piece of advice I offer and that’s okay.
Take it one step at a time and be yourself, confidence is key when getting a girl to like you.
[Read: The things women look for in a man if they ever consider dating him]
There are a lot of things you can do to get a girl to like you, but there are also things you should never do to get a girl to like you. These things are manipulative, predatory, or just plain rude.
So, before I offer up steps on how to get a girl to like you, here are some things you most certainly want to avoid.
This may be the most important thing on this list. Never disregard consent. Whether you are putting her hair behind her ear or trying to kiss her, make sure it is okay with her first. If she says no or doesn’t say yes, it means no.
Do not assume she’s playing hard to get or trying to be coy. If she isn’t interested, accept it. It is one thing to flirt without knowing for sure if she’s interested. It is another thing to make a move that makes her uncomfortable. [Read: How to talk to a shy girl and get her to open up to you]
It may seem like a compliment to tell her you love her curves, but you don’t know how she feels about her body so keep your compliments away from there. You can say she is fit, or that she looks amazing in an outfit. You can tell her she’s beautiful, but avoid commenting on her weight or size.
Whether she is eating a salad or a platter of fries, do not judge her on her choices. She is doing what feels right for her, for her own reasons. You may think telling her she can eat more than a salad and still look great is a compliment, but, trust me, it is not. [Read: The things guys say and do that are a big turn off for girls]
Whether she went through a tough breakup or has a colorful dating history, it isn’t your place to comment on that. Don’t say, ‘well, you’ve dated everyone else in the office’ or ‘isn’t seeing me better than being single?’. These are entirely rude and manipulative ways to get a girl to go out with you.
If you like this girl, you need to make some face time. Actually, talk to her. Getting a friend or coworker to talk you up or put the idea in her head is a middle school move and only shows your lack of confidence. [Read: How to talk to a girl – The real secrets to be smooth and impress women]
I know TV makes staring into her eyes seem romantic and although eye contact is good when you’re talking, just staring at her without saying anything is super creepy. Don’t do it. she’ll think you’re sleeping with your eyes open or being a weirdo. If you think she is gorgeous, just tell her.
If you like her, get to know her at a normal pace. Don’t constantly come by her place, text her, or call her. This will only be overkill. And by all means, don’t ask if you’re bothering her or apologize for annoying her. This is probably one of the least attractive things a guy can do.
If you are hoping she’ll like you back, putting the idea of you bugging her in her head will not help.
You may think she wants to be treated like a queen but in reality, she wants to be treated with respect. Acting like she is way out of your league and like you’re beneath her will only turn her off and make her feel pressure to be perfect. [Read: How to act cool in front of a girl and banish the awkwardness]
This means do not make sexist jokes, do not send unsolicited photos, or ask for sexy photos. This is the last way to get a girl to like you. This doesn’t show confidence but sleaziness. It is not how a decent guy attracts a girl’s attention.
The friendzone is not a thing. You are not being punished with her friendship. One of the best ways to get to know her and let her get to know you is through friendship.
Acting like she’s rejected your advances with friendship is an insult to her and shows that you aren’t actually interested in her, but her body.
I really hope you understand why these things are all huge no-nos in the getting a girl to like you department. Doing any of these things will not only fail profusely, but it will leave a bad taste in her mouth that will surely spread to other girls.
But, if you are a decent guy who likes her for who she is, you shouldn’t have trouble here. These things are most often used by guys who could care less about the girl they want to like them, but I’m hoping that’s not you. [Read: 18 qualities of a good guy that sets him apart from the lesser men]
For those of you who read how not to get a girl to like you and understand it, this section is for you. Wanting to get a girl to like you is sweet. And wanting her to like you for you is even sweeter.
So, let me guide you in the right direction.
When your goal is to know how to get a girl to like you, you can lose focus on other things in your life like work, friendships, and more. Remember that she isn’t a sure thing and you have plenty to live for, regardless of whether or not you get her to like you.
You can give her attention when she’s around but letting her preoccupy your mind all the time will only drive you crazy.
Getting a girl to like you isn’t all about giving her your attention, but letting her give you attention. Let her get to know you. She won’t be able to like you if you just let her talk and praise her. Talk about your life, your dreams, and what makes you tick. Hearing these things is what will win her heart. [Read: 50 cute and sexy things guys do that girls love]
Looking good is all great and well, but smelling good is even more important. I can tell you know that a guy’s hygiene is a bigger turn-on than his ability to put together a stylish outfit.
Brush, floss, wear deodorant, and spritz just a touch of cologne. The sense of smell is very triggering, more so than sight, so use that to your advantage.
This is a big one, so take notes. Caring about her is what makes her realize you are a nice guy. Claiming that you’re a nice guy does the opposite. Actually treating her like an equal and putting in the effort to be her friend is what lets her see the type of person you are.
Don’t just care about what you can get from her, actually care about her as a person. [Read: What do girls look for in a guy? The worthy traits of a real catch]
Even if she gets you flustered, make a point to initiate eye contact. Looking down at your feet or at her breasts is not the way to go. Making a real connection can be a lot more intense when you share eye contact.
Any guy can flirt or make her laugh. Actually engage in conversation with her. Hear her out. Ask her opinion on things that are important to you. These conversations really stimulate a bond that is more powerful than a flirtation.
What can halt a lot of guys from actually getting a girl to like them is the idea that she is this mysterious creature. She is just a girl. Sure, she is special to you but she is pretty used to herself. Treat her with kindness and respect and you are way ahead of the curve.
Don’t let yourself get worked up by her beauty. She shouldn’t intimidate you. This will throw you off your game and mess with your confidence. Feeling good about yourself and knowing you have a lot to offer will show a lot more about you. [Read: The subtle differences between a confident and arrogant man]
A mistake a lot of guys make when they want a girl to like them is to assume that just because you like her that you know her. She may be smart and funny and pretty but you have a lot more to learn about her. Take this time to do that.
Ask about her family and her dreams. Opening up to you will help her feel more at ease around you and will either strengthen your attraction or maybe even steer you in a different direction.
If you always see her at work, make plans outside even if it is just to go across the street for lunch or take a walk on your break. Change up your surroundings so she gets comfortable seeing you in a different light. [Read: 15 easy ways to ask a girl out and warm her up to a definite YES]
So many people will advise against this but I actually think it is the best way to show your confidence. Opening up about your feelings is vulnerable and scary, but taking the risk of rejection is what makes it so romantic.
I wouldn’t just jump right into it but if you’ve made a connection and have grown a friendship for a while and can’t get a read on her feelings, this is the best thing to do. Let her know you’re interested and see where it goes.
The worst that happens is she isn’t interested and you go on with your life. [Read: How to make a girl really like you even before you ever ask her out]
I know a lot of these ways to get a girl to like you are awfully subtle, but that is key. Making big gestures may be what works in the movies but in real life that can be super intense and kind of creepy.
Taking your time and getting to know her is your best bet. And letting her feelings form naturally will help her feel more at ease instead of pressured.
If you’ve been getting to know her and your feelings are only growing and you aren’t sure if everything you’re doing is working, ask.
I know it is scary, but it is the only way to get an honest answer. It doesn’t mean you’ve ruined your friendship or became a weird guy who is only interested in one thing. It means you’ve gotten to know her and given her time to get to know you and are taking your shot. [Read: How to make a girl fall in love with you – 18 steps that’ll surely win her heart]
As long as you are accepting and respectful of her response, no matter what it is, this will not be too bad. Don’t pressure her or assume anything. You could even ask her out for something casual like coffee and let her know you like her and were interested in a proper date if she feels the same.
She will respect your honesty and kindness. Just remember that she doesn’t owe you anything. Not everyone will have those feelings for you. Try not to let your ego get in the way of what could be a great friendship.
[Read: What girls find attractive – 20 traits that make a guy irresistible]
Learning how to get a girl to like you may seem complicated but as long as you stay respectful you shouldn’t have anything to worry. Follow these steps, and you should be able to impress her in a genuine way that works way better than fake flattery to get into someone’s pants.
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