How to Compliment a Girl and Make Her Blush

How To Compliment A Girl And Make Her Blush

Knowing how to compliment a girl is pretty important when you’re trying to make a lasting impression. After all, a compliment shows that you’ve noticed how nice a woman she really is.

There are many ways to compliment a girl, and they’re always going to sound nice.

Wouldn’t you appreciate it if you took a lot of time to dress well and your date complimented you on how nice you look?

It feels good, doesn’t it? Your date did notice the fact that you’ve cleaned up.

And just like that, girls love to be complimented too.

In fact, women love compliments a lot more than men do.

How to compliment a girl

One of the first things you should know about complimenting a girl is to be sincere.

Don’t just say something nice because you read it in a book or your friend texted you a few complimentary ques.

Be genuine when you compliment a girl, and if she does see the sincerity in your eyes, she’ll be more flattered and will appreciate your compliment.

If you’re just playing out rehearsed compliments, she would only feel uncomfortable and annoyed when she realizes you’re just trying to compliment her to get your way into her pants.

To compliment a girl, you need to understand the different ways you can do it, while flattering her at the same time.

Compliment a girl for how beautiful she looks

This is time tested and perfect all year round. You obviously know your date looks beautiful, or you wouldn’t be with her *yes, we know men are shallow*. So when you finally do meet her at the date, compliment her on how beautiful/cute/gorgeous/pretty she looks. How can you not appreciate such a wonderful woman when she’s taken so much of an effort to look cute as a button just for you?

Stare at her often

Stare at her often when you’re on a date with her. It’s one of the best compliments a guy can ever give a girl. This does come naturally when you’re smitten by a beautiful girl who’s out on a date with you, but remember this as one of those quiet compliments. [Read: What to talk about on a first date]

If you can’t help staring at a girl and getting lost in her eyes or her beauty, it just shows how happy you are to be with her. And yeah, you could also tell her how happy she makes you feel. That’s another great compliment for a girl.

Compliment her with words

One of the best ways in knowing how to compliment a girl is to do it with words. Not the spoken ones, the written ones.

Love stories and poems have been written by men to profess their love for their sweetheart. It would be really flattering if you could write a poem, but your girlfriend would definitely settle for something you’re capable of doing, and that’s sending a sweet text after the date or picking a beautiful card to profess your feelings for her.

Compliment her for her skills

Is she a ravishing karaoke singer or someone who knows her fine wine? Compliment her for that! [Read: Best questions to ask on a date]

Most men assume girls don’t like to be complimented for anything other their appearance, but that’s just not true! As a matter of fact, women are so accustomed to being complimented only for their good looks that it doesn’t soften their heart as much as a character compliment could.

So the next time you’re out with your woman and she shows off one of her great skills, whatever it may be, compliment her if it awes you.

Compliment her femininity

Compliment her feminine side like kindness, her caring nature, the way she smiles and makes time stand still, the cute thing she does with her hair, or the way she fans herself when she’s feeling hot and the blushing awkward faces she makes when you compliment her.

Knowing how to compliment a girl for her femininity is such a beautiful way to acknowledge her beauty and her sweet ways without really talking about her physical attributes.

Compliment a girl with your chivalry

Men have always been acknowledged as the protectors. When you’re out on a date, make your date feel special and well taken care of. Pull her seat back for her, assist her whenever she needs assistance and pay attention to her every whim and fancy. Being chivalrous and ensuring that the girl with you is having a perfect time is one of the best ways to silently compliment the girl you’re with.

And you can rest assured on this, if you’re chivalrous and warm during the date, she’ll feel warm and fuzzy all throughout the date too! [Read: How to be chivalrous]

Things to know before you compliment a girl

#1 If you’re ever confused about complimenting a girl, some of the best aspects to compliment a girl are her eyes, hair, lips, her fragrance and her voice. It’s safe, and yet, very personal. It’s hard for any girl to forget a compliment that involves these aspects. [Read: What to talk about with a girl]

#2 Don’t ever compliment her girlie parts. You may be tempted to say “you look so sexy” or “I love the way you fit that tee shirt”, but it’s just too physical, especially during the first date or two. You can always use those sexy lines once you’ve grown closer and she trusts you better.

#3 The best compliments are the spontaneous ones. To understand how to compliment a girl sincerely, you always need to remember this pointer. The very instant you lay eyes on her, what do you think? As long as it’s not overly sexual, it’s definitely going to be a truthful and sincere compliment.

[Read: How to charm a girl]

Understand how to compliment a girl and use these ideas the next time you’re with the woman you like. It’ll definitely make her feel special, loved and a lot happier.

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37 thoughts on “How to Compliment a Girl and Make Her Blush”

  1. dj says:

    So when you say “yes, we know men are shallow” does that mean to imply that women aren’t?

    I’m an almost 19 year old male who weighs about 260 pounds. I ate myself to the size I am now because, as a child, I moved from one home to another probably two dozen times just when I started to make friends. When you have no friends and no social skills because of years of moving without stoping to get to know the people around you, you tend to find other ways to make yourself happy. In my case, it was food.

    But then, my family found a permanent home to spend my middle and high school years. I came in the middle of sixth grade year to a school where yet again I didn’t know anybody but most people who knew me liked me because I was such a nice kid even though I was constantly being made fun over being fat. And at the time people thought I was stupid so yet again I learned no social skills all through middle school.

    The people around me seemed to have some personal grudge against me simply because they could get away with it. My closest friends were my siblings and their friends who I think genuinely liked me only because I was introduced to them by my older siblings. But I always felt like the third wheel. My day consisted of going to school having the other kids make fun of me to the point where I considered suicide. I was coming home smiling on the outside but dying a little on the inside saying my day was good, and if I was lucky hanging out with my sisters’ and brothers’ friends to make me feel better and worse at the same time.

    And starting the day all over again, I was all the while trying to occasionaly talk to any girl who had the misfortune to get stuck with me on the bus or in class. And then high school came and with it I got several actual friends who were even worse than me as far as social ability goes. My grades went up, I went to several parties and almost had several opportunities to get sexual on some level with a girl but I couldn’t have them because they were either insane and were only interested in me because I was nice to them and they thought I would be willing to sacrifice what very little dignity I had left for some moderately attractive nookie or I couldn’t be with them because they were what’s left of my sisters’ friends after my brother would sleep with them. And then, they would stop talking to my sister because they were mad that my brother stopped talking to them after he got what he wanted out of them.

    And although I wanted to be able to get the girl I didn’t want to be like my brother and use women. I wanted a real relationship and to let my sister keep her friends I wouldn’t want someone taking away what few friends I have. Why would I do that to someone else?

    Every year I gained a little more self control and became a little more social. But I still have yet to go on a date, let alone kiss a girl or have sex, despite being on a personality level as close to being this ideal man you describe here as I’ll ever be because I’ve learned to relax around the opposite sex over the years.

    But they still ignore me as a potential boyfriend because, quite frankly, I’m not attractive. Even if I lost my excess weight I have an unattractive face, but very slowly I’ve gained hope that one day I’ll find out how to be attractive to women by losing weight. I don’t just want sex, I want love so bad.

    I don’t know why girls seem to have this idea that straight men want to be just friends with a girl, it’s not like saying we don’t respect you or we don’t like you as a person, we’re just not built to be just friends with a girl we find attractive. After years of growing as a person and slowly improving on myself, it was all pretty much undone, or I don’t know, maybe it just made me see how little I’ve actually improved.

    On my way home from Saturday detention, me and my mom were going home when a 16 year old girl and her mom hit us doing a 45 on the passenger side of the car just in front of my door. My mom has a messed up shoulder that’s bad enough already, but my pelvis socket got a T fracture and the leg bone got dislocated. Two days later I went in for surgery where they found a major source of the pain was a piece of bone that got lodged in the socket. They repaired it as best they could, but I may walk with a painful arthritis limp for the rest of my life.

    Now the only way to get a girl would be mercy sex or go to those other girls I spoke of earlier and probably not those all of which would either be me taking advantage of a girl’s niceness which I can’t morally do, or let them take advantage of me either to get to my brother because I’m a safe boyfriend, meaning they can keep me around until they get tired of me without feeling bad for me or their loss, and that’s my options for pretty much the rest of my life.

    I think but I never said ‘Oh, I don’t want that girl simply because she’s not pretty enough for me”. So basically, this whole thing that I just wrote boils down to not all men are shallow, just most of the ones that girls want are.

    If you want a nice guy who respects, loves and appreciates you and isn’t shallow, date a fat, ugly guy for real. Not just because he’s safe. Besides, attractive people rarely need this advice as they have little problem getting whatever girl they want, so they wouldn’t be on this page, meaning if they are on this page, they’re probably fat, ugly and desperate like me so they wouldn’t be shallow so there’s no need to say that as that’s not your current audience. To tell you the truth, I don’t even know if what I just said makes sense as I’m on pain meds, but I just saw this article and was offended by that little line, so I had to say something.

  2. JD says:

    this dude is too right ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    if anything girls are becoming the more shallow type

  3. ZJ says:

    I really admire dj’s courage to talk about himself, much respect for him.

  4. Steve says:

    DJ, it seems to me that life dealt you a really bad hand. I’d just like to give you comfort in the fact that after reading your comment I think I became a better person.

  5. Proud Filipina says:

    Hello DJ!

    I just want you to know that after reading your post here, I felt a sudden thug inside my heart…so I am sharing my experience with you.

    It’s a different perspective especially coming from a guy like you, and as you say, a person of your unique situation– I am enlightened by your post.

    I am a woman who’s been a usual subject of guy’s flirtations and have been aware about that since I was in second or third grade. I grew up to have been blessed with a pretty face (higher than standard) and a well form feminine attributes (assets men really admire). But apart from this physical traits, the greatest gift for me is the brains I have been so fortunate to be blessed too. Now, I may sound narcissistic but the point here is that in spite of these things, I have struggled for years to find real love and be truly loved–just like you. I was a bit sad, frustrated and disappointed with the world before –I hated the way people perceive others and vice versa. I cannot say that I didn’t like the attention, but it became a handicap too in finding the real good man.

    Women, unlike guys have a hard time really chasing a man that they adore. Well in my case, I’ve had so many “great ones” to choose from but usually it’s the guy who’s not into me that really attracts me the most. You might wonder why this irony, well, it is simply because I find most other brilliant good-looking guys as self-centered and too conceited that when they go after me it would be obviously for my looks and exterior—and they probably already feel that they can have whoever! (which is a huge turn-off for me!) The truth is, I just want to be appreciated more for my wit, my talents, and my whole personality rather than be very much physical about me. I want to be loved for the real person that I am, and for my hopeless romantic heart.

    For many years, I have faced with the challenge of finding a man who’d see me more as this great smart lady who’s so funny and good to be with– not because I am pretty or sexy (men would just always confess to me how they like my appeal—mind you, NOT the real ME). I find it shallow how society would somehow label people and be drawn to some of them according to what the norm may dictate as “beautiful.” The sad thing is up to present, this “disease” have continued to spread and have infected the minds of the greater population of this planet— physical looks have become a top priority! And it’s really frustrating— I felt as bad too like you about this society.

    Then years later, I have already proven myself to be more than just a pretty face and body and currently works in the professional healthcare industry –but I would like to tell you that the scenario have changed for better. Smart people have been admired now as equally as the beautiful people (and sometimes more!)—and well, I received more respect and gratitude for my wit than before after having this kind of accomplishment. It is during this time that I was able to meet this very intelligent, kind, and really brilliant guy who have complimented me more as a bright woman (although he did confess that his impression too was I also look adventurous and hot). This guy was no Adonis and looks just average (he’s tall and have strong shoulders and physique, but a bit on the heavier side too), but his personality and character was way excellent and admirable which makes him superhandsome– He was such an ALPHA male! He exudes that incredible confidence, wit and charm! He just swept me off my feet! He came at the right time—and he was the perfect guy for me.

    So, don’t lose hope DJ… Just be as positive and optimistic. A lot of amazing women still exist out there—meaning they are not shallow people who would be interested only on superficial aspects of a guy. Learn to accept that you are as beautiful too and created to be unique. And yes, these women you fancy may seem like the “hot elusive” ones for you, but they might be just like you too, also lonely and still searching for that true love (in whatever form).

    Just continue to improve yourself, be successful, be a better person, and a gentleman always– Be the good man. In time, good women would see through you…Remember this: Only high caliber gals would be able to spot true high caliber guys! God bless!

  6. maddy says:

    I am a girl and girls are shallow. I know some girls are just Sluts with nothing better to do. But just like guys there are a lot of good ones. Love is hard and a lot of us build walls around us. We need someone to break them down. Dj you sound like a great guy.

  7. ??cactiftw says:

    I like a girl. She is an “unrequited dream”. However, she does have justification for not reciprocating the feeling I feel for her (shes eight years older than me, and is unlikely to see me again). My parents don’t know. I can’t let go, because before I felt this for her, I was in a situation as bleak as DJ’s (respect, man. I respect u). I was bullied, mocked, stressed, suffering from clinical depression and on the verge of misanthropy. And I had to keep it all inside of me. Imagine, having all of that building up inside you, and nobody who would listen. Then, this one day, we had visitors. Now, she was Audrey in a school play I was in of Lil Shop of Horrors. Anyway, it was a Sunday, four days before the performance. All the lead actors were there, painting and stuff. Anyway, so we had visitors, and we said, “why not go show them the school”. So we showed them around the set, and said hi to a few people. Then, she turnt up, and I felt my heart race like a Ferrari. When she didn’t see me, I felt really upset. At the time I was like “WTF?” and then I realised what I was feeling, and was just like “ohhh

  8. Unknown says:

    Are you guys ready? lol

    Im 27 yrs old and divorced.

    I met this girl so long ago I was Prob 10 or 11 years old. I Never had the guts to tell her I Liked her. had plenty of times to do it too, she ended up dating one my close friends and had a few kids with him. I actually dated this other woman that i fell in love with and married her on October 1st 2011, Cought her Messing around on me while i was at work, Moved out exactly 1 yr later to the day and divorced her.

    Now…..The First girl I met when i was 10…..she’s not with the father of her kids anymore(1 of my old bro’s) and I finally got the balls to tell her how i feel. and I lucked out, She has felt the same way for years.

    but there is a catch…..she wont date me….she is going through stuff in her life that is crippling her ability to trust and love. she tells me she is scared to date me cuz of commitment issues. but i know she wants me. we text all day and night we say goodnight to each other we kiss and hug but and cuddle thats it, i have asked her three times to be my girlfriend and ever time she tells me she is scared, says she aint ready, I already have regrets from not telling her i liked her 15 years ago and again 5 years ago. thats twice i have let her slip away from me. i told her i would wait for her till she is ready, but i cant wait forever. we talk about life and I try compliment her everyday i see her almost every other day. I dont know i guess life will play it roll

  9. Mr D says:

    Hello, I just read each and one of your comments and the whole article. And I must agree with Proud Filipa. I must say its really complicated these days especially relationship. I think relationship is too complicated in this 21 century. I had a lot of break ups. It makes me upset all the time I get used to these days. Breaking up is the hardest thing… ( I think we got a lot and a lot of freedom and people think we can do what we want ) I guess so…

    Let me tell you straight Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone else. Be honest and open minded person and always think positive always.Always stand for the good. don’t worry if you break up with some one ,there are some where some one who will definitely love .

    .life is like a journey. Just imagine you are driving your car its a long way way ahead which never stops.And in that journey you will face so many things is it ? Just think about it be creative. If that person doesn’t love you don’t worry about it . Just think and believe in yourself you will get a much better girl/guy in the future but just do what you have to do to build your self.If you are a guy/girl just think if you have a perfect career ahead if you… You will find a nice person one day in your life. Believe in god and respect everyones.

    And last but not the least. Loving some one boy/girl will be many, but spending your lifetime future there will just be ONE partner. Be positive and always think ahead, broaden your mind and aim high.

  10. Truth says:

    OK, I bite…”DJ’s” comment got me to respond. Well played man, well played and as a result I decided to read the rest of the comments (interesting responses though). My comment is directed towards “DJ” and please understand I can be brutal at times. With that said, I wanted you not take this personally but rather with an open mind..

    DJ you’re 19 yrs. old bro…and you act like life has dealt you a crappy hand! There are far more dire situations in the real world; that are far worse than yours. You have the authority to change yours, I PROMISE. At one point you had suicidal thoughts? That my friend is stupid and selfish, because you have people who actually care about you and love you bro. You stated that you’re oboes (260 Ibs)…fare enough but if you use that as a continuous excuse. You will never achieve the confidence that you are capable of, NEVER. In fact you will never exceed in life my man.

    I understand middle school through High school can be rough, and your peers can be out right ignorant. You’re not the only kid to go through those tribulations bro. Like stated in the above your weight played a heavy roll in the verbal abuse, thus made you a recluse with extremely low self esteem. I want to shed some light into detourant and hopefully give you some confidence that will help you succeed.

    1st: STOP BEING A BITCH, yup I said it…take the bottle out of your mouth and look at your situation like a young adult. You’re 19 yrs. old and have decades to live and better yourself. The first step is, stop playing video games, eating junk food, and watching TV more than 3 hrs. a day. I DON’T CARE IF YOU HAD A INJURY..stuff happens. You need to over come that obstacle and turn it into a positive entity. You have an official pimp walk, congrats.

    2nd: EAT HEALTHY AND DO MODERATE EXERCISES until you build that physical confidence. I repeat..EAT HEALTHY AND DO MODERATE EXERCISES until you build that physical confidence you’re never going to get laid. Start by doing simple calisthenics and cardio. You need to burn off that unnecessary weight. At 260 Ibs. you’re a beast, I know it. If you turn that into muscle…you would be a MONSTER! ” Girls” will be drawn to you just off of your appearance. I don’t care if you have a small prick…at least you will have a shot to use it..from there it’s up to you on how ithe rest goes down..TRUTH

    3rd: You’re not a stranger when it comes to being shot down. You have been denied more times than the hunch back from Norte Dame. YOU KNOW WHAT NOT DO AND SAY MY MAN! Use that to your advantage…From what I gathered in your comment, you have a heart, you’re a gentleman. There is no need to keep kicking yourself and looking for somebody else scraps. My GOD bro there are so many fish in the sea! Once you build that physical confidence and get your happy butt into shape. There is no force that can stop you!

    4th: “Girls” at your age care about looks more than anything! I don’t care what anyone else says on this forum, that my friend is the TRUTH! You’re not going to marry the first girl you get laid by. If you do, you’re STUPID…yup the truth hurts..It’s called puppy love..

    5th: Stop reading how to pick up woman, you already know how too..JUST BE YOURSELF..don’t be a jerk ( you still need a little cockiness though). Once your Acme is gone, and master your outer core, the inner core will build it self as well. EDUCATE YOURSELF, I repeat; EDUCATE YOURSELF..There is nothing more sexy to a “woman” than a man that can have a intellectual conversation. You need to now how to mind F**k a woman. Go to college, set yourself up for the future..create a career path..BECOME A NERD…US NERDS (yes I am one) will get all the QUALITY in the long run..Yes, at your age QUANTITY is your testosterone going ape sh!t.

    Listen bro..if you ever read are the creator of your own path. You dictate what happens and how it happens..not all the time, but the majority of the time. It all comes down too…”HOW YOU PLAY THE HAND THAT WAS DEALT TO YOU”…TAKE CARE MY MAN AND KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!!

  11. Wit says:

    I read this with the voice from one of the guys from Jersey Shore. Completely ruined the situation for me.

  12. R1D3R says:

    DJ, you know what I was tested. Turns out I’m litterly smarter then others in my age range. Problem is I’m 5’8″ 175 lbs.and socially awkward. I suffered years of mental abuse, and I stutter. I’m a real nice guy, a gentleman even. I’m a freaking genius but, girls don’t care about intullect, they are about looks.

  13. R1D3R says:

    Also this girl I like isn’t the worlds top model in everyone else’s eyes but she is to me. She has 0 suitors excluding me, yet she shoot my down. Sadly not the tear your beating heart out and stomp on it just cause I can shot down but well I think we are more like friends kind of shooting.

  14. BentOuttaShape says:

    Never left a comment on a blog before, but the above comments got me wanting to speak out.

    Looks don’t matter half as much as people think they do. I’m balding, 5 ft, 7 st and disabled. I have a bent spine, messed up legs, hardly any muscle and swollen joints. Yet I’ve enjoyed 3 wonderful relationships with my 4th blossoming as I type. Good looking friends look at me and ask how the hell did I pull her!!

    Because I can. I’m confident and happy with my life, I provide for myself, look after myself and ensure that I make the best effort I can with what I have. That appeals to others more than what I look like. Girls don’t want to be seen stood with a victim. They want someone who can stand up for themselves in a confident and assuring manner. Someone who makes them feel safe, someone they can trust isn’t going to break their heart.

    Don’t go out looking to ‘pull’. Go out looking to make new friends and make sure you are with these people when you’re out. Be the guy that everyone wants to chat to, be the fella that people know when you walk in to your chosen venues. A girl isn’t interested in a sad sorry loner, she wants someone with a life, someone interesting, someone who has experiences to share.

    One of my girlfriends was a little overweight, but I loved her to its because she was wacky, fun and quirky. Another girl was really cute, but quite mysterious and shy. They all have something about them that leaves me wanting to know more.

    Reinvent yourselves, don’t let your physical side be a barrier. Learn how to be sociable, make yourself the centre of attention and above all else, don’t chase girls like a sad little puppy cos that just reeks of desperateness and no one wants to go out with someone who, quite frankly, is just a wet blanket.

    Start every day with a smile and the world will come to you.

  15. Drew says:

    I am a 16 year old male that has had a lot of trouble throughout school. In 1st grade I had lots of friends but in second grade my dad died in a motorcycle crash and it devestated my whole family. I moved away and to this day have not seen my dads side of the family. After my dads death I became a very shy and lonely kid so I didn’t make any friends. My way of sticking through it was eating I became fat I guess we could say. When 6th grade rolled around I had been slowly starting to talk to the girl that I liked in school and one day I asked her ligand she shutme down right there and said I was too fat and too ugly for her. All I wanted was for somone to make me happy and make me feel loved and important. So it hit me maybe I should try and lose some weight. Freshman year rolls around and I’ve gotten friends and lost a ton of weight from joi ing the football team and eating better now I was almost 6 feet tall 115 pounds and was more muscle than anything else and I still couldn’t get a girl friend. All I wanted is for someone to love me I do t really care about sex. But then I find the perfect girl but after 4 months not one fight nothing she brakes up with me. I found out that she was sending nudes to a lot of people in my school and she slept with 4 different guys and I told her that I had to much respect for her to have sex with her and that we should wait. So then I relished that I’m not the only one going through this so I started up this thing where I talk to people who are going through this I’ve stopped 8 people from commuting suicide and I talk to them daily to help them out and make their day better all I truly wanted was to be loved and feel important if anyone feels this way I welcome anyone who wants to just talk guys girls It doesn’t matter to me just kik me at agruich I don’t have a website up yet but I wat to make one so I’m just on kik for now again kik name agruich

  16. Cal says:

    This comment is addressed specifically to DJ, ??Cactiftw (what the hell kind of name is that anyway?), Unknown and Drew. My message to you is simple. At first you may not agree with it, but it works for me. My message is- “Live life for yourself and nobody else.” Now, I know how selfish that seems, and it doesn’t apply to everyone, but the thing is that if you keep trying to make YOUR life about finding somebody else, you’re just going to be miserable when you can’t get that person. Life is, quite often, shit, and people can be nasty, ignorant or just incompatible with you. Now, I’m not saying that if you’re in a relationship, or when you’re with your friends/family that you should be a selfish prick- just that life is yours, so live it your way.

  17. Matthew says:

    I see people putting a lot of good stuff on here with actual meaning.
    I think I shall too.

    So I see a lot of people talking about looks and what not. It’s true, a lot of people (especially in highschool ) go purely based off looks and popularity as well. Now I’m the exactly the most attractive male on Earth, but I seem to have a quality women like. That’s being generous, kind, and also having a sense of humor. πŸ™‚ I managed to pull a girl who’s way to smart to even be seen with me yet somehow I think she really likes me. Don’t get caught up in the, I’m ugly, nonsense or whatever. As long as you have a good heart with good intentions, you can get that special someone you’ve been looking out for. πŸ™‚

  18. The Hopeless Romantic says:

    Listen DJ Jesus man I know you been suffering but you need to realize that when you feel alone your not the only one dude since kindergarten I was bullied hey I was around the same weight as you but I stepped up even after rumors from students made the school think I was crazy when nothing was wrong with me I got put in special edd for 2 years which screwed my grades and didn’t help with the bullying I always was picked on whether it be in 2nd grade and that kid bashing a huge Lego chunk over my face to 9th grade having books thrown at me, every year I had to change schools and my best friend for 5 years I had to leave at 8th grade to move two 8 hours away which ruined the friendship but I never let that get me down hell in high school my only friend was my iPod but I decided I would change because my metabolism for eating food is horrid so started walking a short distance once a day and now to this date just from walking I’ve lost 80 lbs just from walking to this day I’ve never had a GF but I’m still looking you think it’s been tough but you need to focus on the positive, he’ll at least there’s been girls who’ve wanted you even for somethig on the outside I’ve had girls ask me out to dates back in high school only to find out it was a cruel prank while I waited at the spot until midnight you need to remember your not alone because we’re all suffering. Unfortunatly you might not even see this comment but ill leave this page with a motivational saying that when things seems the worst should this bring you back to realization

    Cities may crumble
    Blue skies turn black
    The world may fall to ruin
    I will be strong
    I will endure
    I will remain everlasting

    So to you DJ and to all those out there the only decisions we regret in life are the ones we never made, I live by this and while these decisions have sometimes left me feeling dread I now know the truth so if you keeping falling the past you’ll never rise to a greater future

    Sincerly, The Hopeless Romantic

  19. JJF897 says:

    Hello, I’m JJF, and I’m 14 years old. My comment is NOT going to be heart warming (necessarily) and fuzzy all over, but I want to get this off my chest, and ask for advice. I like this girl(a lot) and I’ve looked at these sites. They all say “be your self”, “be handsome”, etc… I’m listening to you all, and I’ve come to the realization that I don’t like this girl just for her looks. I mean, yes, she is extremely beautiful (blue eyes, gorgeous teeth, blonde hair, amazing smile), but I also like her for HER. Just today, I heard her sing as we were walking down the hallway, and I was so mesmerized by her incredible voice that I was speechless. My friend that knows I like her won’t ever go away (I know that sounds selfish, I’m sorry, but seriously…) and leave her and I together so I can muster up the courage and tell her how I feel without it being socially awkward. Every time I’m around her, I’m lost in her. I try to go with the flow even though I don’t know what to say! I can’t casually ask her for her phone number because I don’t have a phone, so PLEASE don’t say “just ask her for her phone number, and text her. Chat with her, see what happens”! My brain is telling me to follow my heart, and my friend says to follow my heart (this is another friend). I think that she is absolutely amazing, stunningly beautiful, very kind, I love the way her voice sounds, and she has the prettiest blue eyes you’ll ever see! My problem is that, when I tell her, it’ll be awkward because she doesn’t necessarily know me very well. I talk to her every day (except the weekends), and I want to her how I feel, but like I said before, I’m afraid that me telling her my feelings for her will put what little of a friendship we have in a rut. So if anyone can give me some advice it’s you all! πŸ™‚ I’ve really enjoyed reading everyone’s responses by the way. Also, I don’t know if this matters at all, but she’s 15-about 8 months older than me. Thank you in advance for any responses!

  20. satan says:

    to the dude who stutters and is a genius: you misspelled intellect…. genius. :p i’m kidding though, just thought it was funny. here’s a different problem. i’m not fat, i’ve had girls call me sexy, and i’m funny and entertaining to talk to. yet i’ve never had a girlfriend. why? i’m dead inside. nothing’s there. empty of everything but hate. i’ve never attempted to be involved with a girl, because i preferred solitude my entire life to the horse shit i see everywhere. recently i made the conscious decision to have feelings for a girl for an experiment. we’ll see how it goes.

  21. Adrian says:

    To DJ, man I feel your pain completely, know exactly what it’s like to be fat (280 lbs) your whole life and not have any friends at school or anywhere, where people just make fun of you the whole time and everyone takes a shot because they can. I’m 25 and never had a girlfriend, a kiss, hug, nothing from any girl before. It’s so true what you say about social skills, you say you didn’t develop any because of moving around too much – for me it was being in an extremely negative, controlling and narcissistic household growing up, and also having no siblings. My dad liked to control all, and I mean all, of my decisions, actions, everything my whole life, but he was also emotionally cold and distant too, and extremely hard to please. This has engrained in my mind that I am a complete failure as a human being, even though I’m told by some other people that I should never think that of myself – I can’t help it, it’s the most normal feeling for me, I just can’t believe in myself, it feels so unnatural. But, I must say, my dad’s actions were most of the time because of his alcoholism, I still believe it wasn’t the real him that acted like this. Now it’s extremely difficult, he’s given up the drinking and wants to have a father-son bond now that I’m older, but he’s genuinely like a stranger to me – we have never shared or talked my whole life, and just feels strange to do so now. This, I think, is where my lack of skills with girls comes from, my parent’s marriage is not based on love but hate, and the way he treated my mother when he was drunk (most of the time) gave me no example of how a man should treat a woman.

    At home I was alone, in my own little world, just observing the chaos. At school I was even more alone. Believe it or not, before going to school, I was actually quite an active child and very healthy. As soon as I went to school that’s when I started gaining weight. Nobody wanted me to play sports with them, in their teams, because I never fit in ever. I was always alone and it wasn’t long and I found love in junk food. For about 18 years of my life now, I’ve been fat and consume several pounds of sugar and fat daily, in various forms – I know it. My body is covered in hideous scars as it expanded, especially during puberty.

    But, as I gather from your post, you still got a lot right in your life, and so did I, I guess. I managed to go to university and get several degrees because my brain was always an asset I could count on, despite everything else. There I met an amazingly beautiful angel of a girl, which was everything I’ve ever dreamed of – and then everything came crashing down from there, because what did this fat fool do – he told her how much he loved her and she ran like the wind, never to be heard from again.

    I’ve basically been drained from all emotions and feelings completely now at this point and someone told me that they think I actually suffer from major depressive disorder, which fits because I have love for nothing, I hate everything about my life and wish I was dead.

    To “truth” thanks for the brutal, yet inspiring, post bro. I’m pretty much in the same boat as DJ, and your post pretty much applies to me too. I just wish I could find the energy to do all the stuff you said man, but with this MDD, you can’t believe how it genuinely kills you inside as a person – you have no desire to do anything. I know how stupid this sounds, but it really is like that. It’s like I’m dead already, just not buried yet. I feel like there’s another being inhabiting my body, like it’s evil or something, and all it’s doing is literally killing the spirit that used to be me, who at one point, still enjoyed life a little bit. And this “person” lies, is nasty to others, is bitter, is hateful and drives everyone out of my life who can help me, and spends the whole day convincing me how worthless I am. I can almost hear it talking to me in my head. I can’t help it, because I believe this “person” since all that it says is backed up by 20+ years of experience through all the stuff I’ve seen in my life. It just appears so true when it tells me how worthless I am, because that’s exactly what I see with my eyes, happening in my life. It’s like it’s saying “see, I told you so”.

    To DJ, bro, I wish all the best for you man. I hope so much that you can conquer all this stuff in your life, but especially the fat, I know how crap that is to live with. You’re the first person I ever met who knows what it’s like to experience this type of life, a life destroyed by obesity. I applaud you for your courage and I don’t know about you, but I find it easier to talk to people through writing, like this. You’re a genuine good guy man and I would have loved to have had a friend like you anytime in my childhood, it would’ve made stuff so much easier to deal with.

    And, to “satan” ^^ I totally know how you feel man. I’ve given up on relationships because I got nothing to offer a girl, ’cause it’s like you say, I’m dead inside.

  22. Reformed guy says:

    DJ it’s not because girls hate your appearance that you don’t have a girlfriend it’s because you hate yourself. You need to accept, love and respect yourself with confidence, not in an arrogant way.

    JJF897 get another friend or tell him to buzz off when you have a chance to be alone with her, if he says he doesn’t know when to go, tell him you’ll let him know, when you meet her ask her if she’d like to speak with you privately, if your friend follows you let him know you’ll join him later after you have spoken with her. Tell her you find her interesting and want to get to know her better.

  23. LouDog says:

    This article is old, but I found it and after reading the article and some of the comments, I figured I would leave my piece.
    First off, a lot of stuff is pretty good advice in the article, i.e. sincere compliments, which should be focused on her personality and behavior, looks are secondary and i only use physical compliments in passing, when either they did an impressive job dressing up to go out on a date with me, or if they have some small physical detail that really catches my eye, but again i keep that to a minimum. Chivalry is good too, but again don’t go overboard towards the gentlemanly caricature that will lay out his coat over a puddle so that your date can walk straight through the puddle and, metaphorically, over you. Make that woman walk around the damn puddle, she isn’t that special. Initially, aim to treat her just a tad bit more special than one of your good buddies, to show you’re interested but not a pushover. Save most of the touchy-feely emotional jazz jazz i.e. writing her poetry for after you go facebook official, but believe me that stuff works wonders when introduced at the right moment.
    And for all you guys having problems with the girls, I used to be in the same boat. I learned, as every man has to, that achieving success in your love life is not about picking up or going after chicks, or even chasing ‘The One’. It’s about the journey, my friends. The journey is yours, and you’re the only one that knows where your rightful destination is, the place that will truly make you happy. It’s all about you. So once you start building your life up from square one, going out into the world and doing the things that you WANT to do, what makes YOU happy, people that compliment your lifestyle will inevitably be introduced into your life. And that statement includes more than enough women, and more than that, most of them will be compatible with you in some way.
    Just go interact with everyone you can, don’t try to hit on every girl that gives you the time of day, make a bunch of female friends, and once you have a social life established, you will inevitably start running into women you ‘click’ with. That’s where you make your move. Like I said, no need to go after them like a pit bull would go after the stray cats that made the unfortunate mistake of walking into its general vicinity. Just be friendly, treat them like human beings and not objects you gawk at for visual enjoyment, but also make it known that you find them interesting and want to get to know them on more personal levels.
    Everything will be reciprocal. If a woman is not reciprocating your interest in her after a bit of effort on your behalf, DON’T BE A BITCH. Move on. You’re gut will tell you if she’s jerking you around, trying to use you for something, or simply if that spark you may have felt wasn’t mutual.
    That’s about the last piece of advice I can give you once you’ve made it past this point: “DON’T BE A BITCH.” You will end up alone or whipped by a girlfriend that doesn’t put out nearly enough for what it’s worth. I hope this literary piece motivates some of you/gives you hope that shit will get better. It always does and this especially applies to any of you kids just out of high school. You have no idea how far you can move forward, how exciting life can get, and how much grow into a better man, in just a few years. If you made it this far, thanks for reading bros.

  24. Darryl says:

    This article seems to go against other articles on not being a nice guy, avoiding the friend zone etc etc

  25. Juraj says:

    Hey everybody.

    It is nice to read all the articles and see the sympathy from all of you.

    DJ. A little short advice for you. Care about your health and stay the same person as you are. Go to the gym and lose weight. Not for being more attractive but for your health. If you are healthy everything else will come in no time. Just be patient and work on yourself. About girls and guys. We are the same. Some of us are better and some of us are worse. The life will teach you as it does all of us. Think only of your health. Trust me. There are people in the world who would swap your situation with you. So head up and enjoy your life cause it flies!!!

    If you are healthy the rest is just the question of time.

  26. JDDominator says:

    Funny how I’ve tried all these things and they never work. All my friends have hot chicks and they mistreat them to no end. I guess women like a challenge if you are always kind you will get booted when Mr. tough guy shows up on the scene. LOL…

  27. gent says:

    Dear DJ
    Thanks for the post it is one of the most courageous letters i have ever read. I believe the same courage should drive you in your life. Not by expressing unhappiness but by embracing life knowing there is someone out there for you just as smart, kind, and beautiful as you are. I can guarantee you 50% of the time its just chemistry. It is something we feel when around someone we like and i am 100 % sure she feels it too without saying a single word. I am someone who has had very beautiful girlfriends and i am really a very nice guy. Never cheated on anyone, never lied (since i never felt the need to because ive always been with the person i wanted to be with),. However, i have been cheated and lied on lately by the person i thought the love of my life :). Its been 4 years i cant have a relationship which for me is a very very long time. Last week i met a girl which made me feel happy again at last. Therefore i would really encourage you to keep trying. Don’t even think about pity sex and sisters friends just go for the people you like. Sure you will get a lot closed doors but don’t we all? one thing that might help is to do this out of your social network at least it has worked for me. Im sure you will find the right person in time. furthermore keep in mind that we can not , on my view, reduce love only to our partner. Obviously it is a big part of it but there is the love for your family friends and anything that fulfills you in life (job, interests, hobbies and so son) so do something you really like and i guarantee you will become attractive in itself.
    You definitely don’t lack the courage.
    Bye Buddy

  28. Donald says:

    Thanks Gent for the enlightening comments. I was once thought that my once ex was my soulmate as I was about to propose to her. But things went awkward when I found out that that she cheated on me and met a guy at the online dating site. I am still taking time to forget her (as I do love her deeply) and I know I will definitely find a better one one-day. I do not put high hope on her anymore even though we may come across in life again in future. But I do know that I am starting to love myself more as I have been giving and pouring out love more than I receiving. Thank u all for such comments.

    For everyone, don’t ever give up on life and one day somewhere at the right timing you will meet the person that who will truly love you as who you are. BE URSELF.

  29. Tasha says:

    So I am a woman but I wanted to see what men were being told to do in order to ‘woo’ us and for the most part I am astounded. I hate that the number one point is complimenting her looks, yes it is nice for our looks to be complimented but you getting to a stage where body issues are so massive that your only adding to the problem if the first thing you do is make it obvious that you are paying attention to how she looks, it’ll put pressure on her. I personally would rather have my intelligence be complimented, but not outrightly, in a way of being shown respect for my opinion. Be more creative about how you compliment girls, and try to not talk about her appearance first because in my opinion I would think that was rude.

  30. Augustus Sotelo says:

    How did it go? It’s been two years since you wrote this comment. πŸ™‚

  31. Augustus Sotelo says:

    I’m 24 and can somewhat relate to your comment. There’s a girl that I knew about 10 years ago who has recently been reintroduced in my life at my new job. I haven’t talked to her yet but I am afraid to do so. I feel she might remember back of the time I was such a pussy in high school to even look at her πŸ™
    However, I feel if I start talking to her right now, she might see the potential confidence I have because of her presence.

  32. Alegra Nimoe says:

    So, the heteronormativity is kinda just… annoying.

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