21 Secrets & Ways to Ask a Girl Out On a Date & Get Her to Say Yes

You’re crushing hard on a certain lady, you already have a myriad of date ideas but you’re not sure how to ask a girl out on a date without being flat-out rejected. Don’t worry, it’s easier than you think! 

how to ask a girl out

If you have a crush on a girl, trying to ask her out can feel pretty nerve-wracking. If you are not one of those bad boys who just stroll confidently up to a girl, and says, ‘Hey, how about a date?’ You might be feeling the pressure to understand the best ways to ask a girl out.

The longer you wait to build up courage, the more nervous you feel. Also, the more you let yourself like her before you’ve even been on that first date, the higher the stakes.

It’s no wonder asking a girl out makes some guys break into a cold sweat. No one likes to put themselves out there when they aren’t certain of the outcome and feel vulnerable. Certainly, no one likes the feeling of rejection.

But, just stop and wait for a second. What if she says yes? [Read: Should I ask her out? 30 Signs she’s waiting for you to make a move]

If you want to attract women, a self-defeating attitude never works!

It’s easy to assume that you’re going to get rejected. We all focus on the outcome that fills us with fear. However, just because you are putting yourself out there and risking a ‘no,’ that doesn’t mean the ‘no’ is going to come your way. If you have a self-defeating attitude from the get-go, you’re more likely to be turned down by your potential date.

She’s going to notice your lack of confidence and your negative attitude, and that’s not the first impression that you’ll want to make. She might take that to mean something else. We often act in a way that isn’t who we are when we’re feeling worried or scared of something.

When you go into asking a girl out with a positive attitude, she’ll like and get to see you for who you are. For sure, don’t be arrogant, but if you just relax, be yourself, and go for it, you’re far more likely to find yourself planning a date. [Read: How to be confident: The 20 life hacks you need to implement]

How to ask a girl out on a perfect date with maximum success

Not asking a girl out means you will never know. The best thing to do is just bite the bullet and get on with it. Really what is the worst that can happen? If she doesn’t want to go out with you she’ll say so, and then what?

The earth won’t come to a grinding halt, and even if you’ve been crushing on her hard for months, while it’s gonna hurt for a little while, you’ll get over it and no doubt soon move on to bigger and better things.

So, now that you’ve decided to go for it. What are the best ways to ask girls out? These simple steps and tips will increase your chances of getting that ‘yes’ that you’ve hoped for. [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying ‘yes’]

1. Get a conversation going first

The more relaxed and comfortable she feels around you, the more likely she is to say ‘yes’ when you suggest some one-on-one time together where the two of you can talk. If she knows absolutely nothing about you, she’s got very little to go on.

So why not make an effort to strike up a conversation with her first?

You don’t need to go about asking her hundreds of questions or find out every single detail of her life, but if you have a couple of friendly conversations you’ll be on her radar. Talk about something you know will get your conversation going first, instead of jumping right into asking her out. [Read: How to ask a girl if she has a boyfriend without being too brazen]

2. Maintain eye contact

Whether you’ve spotted a hot girl you’d like to go on a date with at a bar, or it’s someone you already know, eye contact is very important. We aren’t suggesting that you stare at her—that just makes her feel weird. Do it in a way that feels most natural but make sure you send a few lingering glances her way to show her that you’re interested.

That way, she’ll know that she caught your attention, and if she smiles at you or holds your gaze back, it means that she probably likes you too. [Read: 10 subtle eye flirting moves that work really well]

3. Help her out

While not all women like feeling vulnerable around men, if she needs something that requires help or a little assistance, offering to be that guy only goes down well.

At the end of the day, if she thinks you are a nice guy, she is way more likely to go out with you than if she isn’t sure whether you’re worth her time or not. Perhaps she could use a hand carrying something. Maybe she looks cold and you offer her your sweater.

Even just buying her a drink shows your interest, that you are a good guy, and that she should give you a chance to hang out sometime. [Read: How to help someone up when they’re feeling down and depressed]

4. Compliment her

Flattery gets you everywhere. If you strike up a great conversation with the girl you like, make sure you drop in a few compliments here and there whenever you’re talking. She’ll be flattered and know you are flirting with her, which then makes it easier for you to transition to asking her out. Plus, girls love getting them.

Remember, don’t go overboard, but saying a few nice things could work wonders for you and land you that ‘yes’ you hope for from the girl you want to date.

Make sure that the compliments you give to her are genuine without sounding like a creep. Steer clear of anything sexual or focused too much on her looks, as no girls want that. It’s best to compliment her on her personality and actions, rather than constantly about her appearance. [Read: The art of complimenting a girl and leaving her blushing]

5. Keep it light

Remember, all you want to ask for is a first date. You don’t need to go overboard. If you do, know that you’re more likely to scare her off. The next time you’re asking for one, keep everything light and casual, choose the right timing, and don’t be too intense when asking your crush out. Otherwise, she will feel pressured, and that could be too intimidating or off-putting.

She won’t think about going out on a date with someone who is extremely intense and serious. That doesn’t seem like it’s going to be a fun time at all, and you don’t need a dating coach to know that. So, just keep it light and carefree. [Read: 12 Steps to change your life and find your happiness]

6. Be confident

Confidence goes a long way. Stand tall, stay cool, don’t mince your words, don’t wait too long, and just ask her to go out with you. Confidence is very attractive in a man, so make sure that you approach her with confidence and a positive attitude.

Believe that she will say ‘yes’, and you will make it so!

If you don’t feel the confidence at first, don’t worry. It’s normal to be worried or even scared when talking to girls. However, there is no need to feel that way in reality. Fake your confidence and you’re ready to go for it. [Read: The 15 secrets to make girls chase you]

7. Find out what she likes and ask her on a date she can’t refuse

If you land some intel on the things that she is into, this puts you in a good position. Take the initiative out what she likes and then invite her on a date that would be right up her alley. She’ll want to go and be flattered that you bothered to think about what she might enjoy too.

So, if she loves singing, suggest you go for a karaoke night out and maybe grab something to eat after. If she’s a big jazz fan, check out whether there are any jazz clubs or shows near to you so you can buy tickets. Maybe take her to her favorite coffeehouse or bar happy hour if she’s up to it. It shows that you’re willing to go the extra mile and really find things she wants to do. [Read: 15 of the most memorable things to do on a first date]

8. Make an effort

Make an effort to look your best and smell good before you ask a woman out on a date. She has to be physically attracted to you too!

That doesn’t mean you have to be ultra-polished, but you should make sure that you’re well turned out. Brush your hair, brush your teeth, make sure you wear deodorant, and remember this is not online dating so she’ll actually see and smell you- it’s not rocket science! She’s more likely to say ‘yes’ to someone who obviously looks after themselves, even if she says she doesn’t mind. Self-improvement is never a bad idea, and you should keep that in mind. [Read: How to be a hot guy – 20 rules to instant hotness]

9. Reassure her

Some girls find the idea of going on a date a bit intimidating, so reassure her by keeping it as casual as possible and chatting to her first. She will relax in your company and feel like the date will be easy and fun.

Smile, laugh, and be kind and approachable. When you act in that way, genuinely so, it’s a way of letting her know that she’s really going to have a great time and she’ll be more likely to agree when the time to ask her out arrives. [Read: How to not be nervous for a date and feel super calm instead]

10. Get her number first

Instead of asking her out point blank, why not get her number first? This might be less nerve-wracking. If she says ‘yes,’ you know that she is probably into you too. Then, you can talk via text for a while first and get to know her.

However, do remember that at some point you have to take the conversation away from texting and towards an in-person meeting! [Read: How to get a girl’s number every single time: 15 No-fail ways]

11. Avoid cheesy chat up lines

Don’t bother with cheesy chat up lines, no matter how funny you think they are. Sure, they might occasionally work, but most girls find this gimmick off-putting and annoying. Is it really worth the risk?

You really don’t want to have her cringing in your face when you ask her out in the cheesiest of ways. You’ll feel ridiculous and more likely to get her to say something like, “Ew, no!” When learning you’re asking a girl out, just be sincere and down to earth. [Read: 70 Hilarious cheesy pick up lines to get a girl laughing]

12. Get to know her friends

If her friends root for you, you’ve already got a higher chance of getting a ‘yes.’ So, make sure her friends know what a great guy you are too! If you have mutual friends, you’re already halfway there.

If not, you need to somehow endear yourself with her circle by trying to get together with them. This one might be difficult, but if you can make inroads, you’ll find it much easier to ask her out on a date. Her friends will egg her on to say ‘yes’ and she might just go for it!

13. Tell a joke

Humor goes a long way. If you make her laugh, she is more likely to say ‘yes’ when you ask her out. If you know you aren’t naturally funny just leave it. There is nothing worse than trying to force humor even if it’s for a good reason. It just makes everyone feel awkward and it’ll possibly blow your chances.

Don’t turn the whole thing into a stand up routine – there a line between funny and cringe. Just a few well-placed jokes or funny one-liners are all you need to make a good impression. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]

14. Suggest something interesting

If you’re looking to stand out from the crowd, don’t be scared of suggesting doing something fun and unusual for your date, and she’ll be intrigued! However, don’t go too over the top as she might think that you’re weird!

Simply avoid doing the usual dinner and drinks if you want to really impress her. For instance, if she wants to see a movie, suggest going to an outdoor movie night or perhaps a walk and street food afterward. What’s important is that you avoid asking for a typical and boring kind of date because that’ll only make it easy for her to say no. [Read: How to be more interesting and make everyone want to know you] “yes

15. Check her body language

Does she smile at you? Do you always seem to lock eyes whenever you are in the same room? Does she play with her hair or blush when she talks to you?

Noticing her body language, the way she acts around you, and whether she initiates physical contact or her eyes light up when you talk to one another all help you decide whether she is keen too, and probably wants to take things further.

If she seems defensive or disinterested or like she tries to avoid you or ignore you, she may be telling you not to bother, and you know she’ll say no! [Read: The 15 body language clues to watch for in a girl you like]

16. Before you ask, make sure she’s available

There is nothing worse than spending all this time preparing and plucking up your courage only to find out she’s already in a relationship. So, make sure, if possible, to find out whether she is available first. Social media should help you out here. [Read: How to tell if a girl has a boyfriend without asking her directly]

17. Think about what you want to say

Having a loose script of what you will say is good preparation! You don’t want to get tongue-tied.

The technique for asking a girl out is to make sure you practice what you are going to say, but don’t stick rigidly to it word for word. Otherwise, you’ll get even more flustered if she says something unexpected! Make sure that it’s a script tailor-made to her too, and not some generic one that you copied off the internet. [Read: 15 secrets to make any girl fall for you]

18. Be prepared for rejection

Remember, no matter how prepared you are, sometimes it just isn’t meant to be and that’s okay. The more chilled and friendly you are if she says ‘no’ the better you come across. You never know, it might just change her mind! [Read: The 15 absolute best ways to ask a girl out and get a definite yes]

19. Brush yourself off and try again

So you got rejected—that’s part of the game. Many guys get embarrassed and/or discourgaed after being rejected but don’t let this change the way you view dating and stop you from asking women out ever again.

In fact, make this a part of the learning process. Think about what you could’ve done better, and polish your moves so you can do better when it’s time to ask a girl out again.[Check out: How to make a girl like you without even asking her out]

20. Always remember, it’s just a date!

You’re not asking for her hand in marriage. Sometimes, attraction to your crush makes you overanalyze things and leaves you having second thoughts and missing a good moment.

Keep in mind that you’re inviting her out to spend some time to get to know her better and have a good time, so hold off on those other moves for later *if things go well*. [Read: 14 signs you’re ruining your first date unknowingly]

21. Just go for it!

Remember, at the end of the day, asking a girl out on a date isn’t the be all and end all of your life, so don’t drag it out. Just get on with it!

You’ll be much happier that you actually went for it and found out the answer. There is nothing worse than wondering ‘what if’. [Read: Top 50 amazing first date ideas to leave her feeling wow]

Watch and gauge her body language before you ask her out

Remember, to save yourself from heartache and wasting your time, there are plenty of ways to gauge her interest before you ask her out.

Does she smile at you, touch you, play with her hair when she’s talking to you? Have you made her laugh? Does she always look pleased to see you? Does she flirt with you, or are you really in the friend zone?

Figuring these things out before you ask her out is a good way of knowing what your chances are. [Read: 50 cute things guys do that girls find very sexy]

Be realistic too—if she doesn’t seem that interested, avoids you, and tries to end conversations with you as quickly as possible, she’s probably not interested. In that case, save yourself the bother and move onto someone who cares!

Asking a girl out should be simple. It’s really up to how you approach her and what comes out of your mouth. One big thing to consider here is starting out a brief conversation from which you can allow her to judge you based on her criteria of what makes a man attractive.

[Read: How to win any girl’s heart and impress her effortlessly]

So, there you have it, the best ways to ask a girl out. So now that you know, it’s time to put these do’s and don’ts into practice. Be brave, confident, and just go for it. Good luck!

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