If you have a crush on a girl, asking her out can feel pretty nerve-wracking. If you are not one of those guys who just strolls confidently up to a girl, and says, ‘Hey, how about a date?’ You might be feeling the pressure to understand the best ways to ask a girl out. This is particularly true if you have had your eye on her for a long time.
The longer you wait to build up courage, the more nervous you feel, and the more you let yourself like her before you’ve even been on that first date, the higher the stakes.
It’s no wonder asking a girl out makes some guys go into a cold sweat. No one likes to put themselves out there when they aren’t certain of the outcome and feel vulnerable. Certainly no one likes the feeling of rejection.
But, just stop and wait for a second. What if she said yes? [Read: Should I ask her out? 30 Signs she’s waiting for you to make a move]
It’s easy to assume that you’re going to get turned down. We all focus on the outcome that fills us with fear. However, just because you are putting yourself out there and risking a ‘no’, that doesn’t mean the ‘no’ is going to come your way. If you have a self-defeating attitude from the get-go, you’re more likely to be turned down.
She’s going to notice your lack of confidence and your negative attitude. She might take that to mean something else. We often act in a way that isn’t who we are when we’re feeling worried or scared of something. When you go into asking a girl out with a positive attitude, she will get to see you for who you are. For sure, don’t be arrogant, but if you just relax, be yourself, and go for it, you’re far more likely to find yourself planning a date. [Read: How to be confident: The 20 life hacks you need to implement]
Not asking a girl out means you will never know. The best thing to do is just bite the bullet and get on with it. Really what is the worst that can happen? If she doesn’t want to go out with you she’ll say so, and then what? The earth won’t come to a grinding halt, and even if you’ve been crushing on her hard for months, while it’s gonna hurt for a little while, you’ll get over it and no doubt soon move on to bigger and better things.
So, now that you’ve decided to go for it. What are the best ways to ask a girl out? These 15 tips will increase your chances of getting that ‘yes’ that you’ve hoped for. [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying ‘yes’]
The more relaxed and comfortable she feels around you, the more likely she is to say yes when you suggest some one on one time together. If she knows absolutely nothing about you, she’s got very little to go on. So why not make an effort to strike up a conversation with her first?
You don’t need to ask her hundreds of questions or find out every single detail of her life, but if you have a couple of friendly conversations you’ll be on her radar. It’s also a good idea to make sure she’s single too! [Read: How to ask a girl if she has a boyfriend without being too brazen]
Whether you spotted a hot girl you’d like to go on a date with at a bar, or it’s someone you already know, eye contact is very important. We aren’t suggesting that you stare at her—that just makes her feel weird. But make sure you send a few lingering glances her way. She gets that you are interested in her, and if she smiles at you or holds your gaze back, it means that she probably likes you too. [Read: 10 subtle eye flirting moves that work really well]
While not all women like feeling vulnerable around men, if she needs help with something, offering to be that guy only goes down well.
At the end of the day, if she thinks you are a nice guy, she is way more likely to go out with you than if she isn’t sure. Perhaps she could use a hand carrying something. Maybe she looks cold and you offer her your sweater. Even just buying her a drink shows your interest, that you are a good guy, and she should give you a chance. [Read: How to help someone up when they’re feeling down and depressed]
Flattery gets you everywhere. If you strike up a great conversation with the girl you like, make sure you drop in a few compliments here and there. She’ll be flattered and know you are flirting with her, which then makes it easier for you to transition to asking her out. Remember, don’t go overboard, but saying a few nice things could work wonders for you and land you that yes you hope for. [Read: The art of complimenting a girl and leaving her blushing]
Make sure that the compliment you give to her are genuine and steer clear of anything sexual or focused too much on her looks. It’s best to compliment her on her personality and actions, rather than constantly about how she looks.
Remember, all you ask for is a first date. You don’t need to go overboard. If you do, you are more likely to scare her off. Keep everything light and casual, don’t be too intense. Otherwise, she feels the pressure and that could be too intimidating or off putting.
She’s not going to agree to a date with someone who is extremely intense and serious. That doesn’t seem like it’s going to be a fun time at all. So, just keep it light and carefree. She’ll feel more able to say ‘yes’ and she’ll look forward to it more too. [Read: 12 Steps to change your life and find your happiness]
Confidence goes a long way. Stand tall, don’t mince your words, and just ask her. Confidence is very attractive in a man, so make sure that you approach her with confidence and with a positive attitude too. Believe that she will say yes, and then you will make it so! [Read: The 15 secrets to make girls chase you]
If you don’t feel the confidence at first, don’t worry. It’s normal to be worried or even scared in such subjects. However, there is no need to feel that way in reality. Fake your confidence and go for it. When you fake it, you eventually start to feel it!
If you land some intel on the things that she is into, this puts you in a good position. Find out what she likes and then invite her on a date that would be right up her alley. She more likely will want to go and be flattered that you bothered to think about what she might enjoy too.
So, if she loves bowling, suggest you go for a bowling night out and milkshakes. If she’s a big jazz fan, check out whether there are any jazz clubs or shows near to you. It shows that you’re willing to go the extra mile and really find things she wants to do. [Read: 15 of the most memorable things to do on a first date]
Make an effort to look your best and smell good before you approach her. She has to be physically attracted to you too! [Read: How to be a hot guy – 20 rules to instant hotness]
That doesn’t mean you have to be ultra-polished, but you should make sure that you’re well turned out. Brush your hair, brush your teeth, make sure you wear deodorant – it’s not rocket science! She’s more likely to say ‘yes’ to someone who obviously looks after themselves. That’s one of the basic things when learning how to ask a girl out.
Some girls find the idea of going on a date a bit intimidating, so reassure her by keeping it as casual as possible and chatting to her first so she relaxes in your company and feels like the date will be easy and fun.
Don’t be all serious when you ask her out. Keep it light, as we said before, and say “hey I think we would have fun, what do you think?” Smile, laugh, be kind and approachable. When you act in that way, genuinely so, she will feel like she’s really going to have a great time and she’ll be more likely to agree. [Read: How to not be nervous for a date and feel super calm instead]
Instead of asking her out point blank, why not get her number first? This might be less nerve-wracking. If she says yes, you know that she is probably into you too. Then, you can talk on message for a while first and get to know her. That will make the first date much easier.
However, do remember that at some point you have to take the conversation away from texting and towards an in-person meeting! [Read: How to get a girl’s number every single time: 15 No-fail ways]
Don’t bother with cheesy chat up lines, no matter how funny you think they are. Sure, they might occasionally work, but most girls find them off-putting and annoying. Is it really worth the risk?
You really don’t want to have her cringing in your face when you ask her out in the cheesiest of ways. You’ll feel ridiculous and you’re more likely to get a ‘no’. When learning how to ask a girl out, just be sincere and down to earth. That’s the single best way to look forward to grabbing that date. [Read: 70 Hilarious cheesy pick up lines to get a girl laughing]
If her friends root for you, she is way more likely to say yes. So, make sure her friends know what a great guy you are too! If you have mutual friends, you’re already halfway there. If not, you need to somehow endear yourself with her circle. This one might be difficult, but if you can make inroads, you’ll find it much easier to ask her out on a date. Her friends will egg her on to say ‘yes’ and she might just go for it!
Humor goes a long way. If you make her laugh, she is more likely to say ‘yes’ when you ask her out. If you know you aren’t naturally funny just leave it. There is nothing worse than trying to force humor. It just makes everyone feel awkward and possibly blow your chances too. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]
Don’t turn the whole thing into a stand up routine – there a line between funny and cringe. Just a few well-placed jokes or funny one-liners is all you need to make a good impression.
Don’t be scared of suggesting doing something unusual for your date. It certainly makes you stand out from the crowd, and she’ll be intrigued! However, don’t go too over the top as she might think that you’re weird! Simply avoid doing the usual dinner and drinks if you want to really impress her. Suggest going to an outdoor movie night or perhaps a walk and street food afterwards. If you can find out the things she likes beforehand, as we mentioned earlier, that will earn you brownie points too. [Read: How to be more interesting and make everyone want to know you]
Remember, at the end of the day, asking a girl out isn’t the be all and end all of your life, so don’t drag it out. Just get on with it! You’ll be much happier that you actually went for it and found out the answer. There is nothing worse than wondering ‘what if’. [Read: Top 50 amazing first date ideas to leave her feeling wow]
Remember, to save yourself from heartache and wasting your time, there are plenty of ways to gauge her interest before you ask her out. Does she smile at you, touch you, play with her hair when she’s talking to you? Have you made her laugh? Does she always look pleased to see you? Does she flirt with you, or are you really in the friend zone? Figuring these things out before you ask her out is a good way of knowing what your chances.
Be realistic too—if she doesn’t seem that interested, avoids you, and tries to end conversations with you as quickly as possible, she’s probably not interested, so save yourself the bother and move onto someone who cares!
[Read: How to overcome the fear of rejection and ask a girl out!]
So, there you have it, the 15 best ways to ask a girl out. So now that you know, it’s time to put them into practice. Be brave, confident, and just go for it. Good luck!
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