Why Does Your Girlfriend Hate You? 15 Ways To Find Out For Sure

If you’re asking yourself why does my girlfriend hate me, maybe there’s deeper to the damage than you realize. It might be time to address those issues.

Why Does My Girlfriend Hate Me

Have you been asking yourself the question, “why does my girlfriend hate me?” Maybe she’s been acting differently towards you, or maybe she’s just more distant than usual. Whatever your concerns are, you can finally put your fears aside and get an answer once and for all.

As couples begin to get comfortable with each other, there can be a tendency for irritability to ensue and come between you. Often, if we feel insecure in a relationship or about ourselves, we will hear negativity, even if things aren’t negative.

It’s easy for insecurity to get in the way of a relationship, which is something you should be wary about. But what does your girlfriend really mean when she makes you feel that hate? Hate is a powerful emotion – stronger than any of us realize – and it’s important to decipher what this means.

What is the key to longevity in a relationship?

Research shows that the biggest predictor of relationship success is one thing, and that’s positivity. When couples speak more positively about each other and to each other, they have a greater likelihood of staying together and having a happily ever after.

Perhaps it isn’t that your girlfriend hates you—maybe you’re just stuck in a rut. Have you tried talking to her about this feeling of yours? Did she really say she hates you, or did you assume this through her actions and behavior? Sometimes, it takes being open and honest to get to the root of your relationship issues.

If you have tried to talk to her and she isn’t interested in communicating and working things out, you have to ask yourself why you would want to be with someone who would make you feel hated. The point of a relationship is love, not hate.

If you actually communicate with one another about your question of why your girlfriend hates you, you might actually come to an understanding and clarity. [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]

What to do if your girlfriend hates you?

Well, the first thing would be to really make sure she hates you, and you’re not just blindly jumping to conclusions. Maybe you just think she hates you based on her actions and behavior, with our giving her a chance to explain her side of things.

Maybe she’s just stressed with work, or maybe she’s preoccupied with someone, but until you’ve actually talked to her and she specifically said she hates you, then this isn’t the case. Once you’ve confirmed this is the case, assess your relationship.

Is there something in your actions you could change? Are your actions contributing her to resent you? These are important questions to ask. It takes two for a relationship to have problems, so maybe her hatred reflects your actions.

If you’ve tried all of these and nothing has worked, then it’s time to decide if it’s worth staying in a relationship with someone who hates you. [Read: How to deal with hate and stop hating someone]

What are the signs your girlfriend hates you?

Did your girlfriend really say she hates you, or did you just assume this because of her actions and behavior? Here are the signs to know for sure if she does hate you.

1. She becomes distant

Women are naturally affectionate and caring, especially to their boyfriends. As a relationship develops problems and falls apart, one of the signs is that your girlfriend becomes distant or builds a wall around her.

If you feel her becoming distant and it’s not because of factors she can’t control like work, then she might just be hating you. [Read: How to recognize an emotionally distant partner & deal with them]

2. She doesn’t put in the effort anymore

Women are all about the effort, so something might be wrong with your relationship if she doesn’t care about putting in the effort anymore like before. If you’re asking the question why does my girlfriend hate me, watch if she’s putting in the effort as she does in the past.

If she’s the type always to do groceries or make you coffee, does she still do those things? Does she still make an effort to make you feel loved? [Read: Relationship rules: 30 must-know tips to live your best love life!]

3. She avoids being anywhere near you

If a girl despises you and hates you, then she can’t even stand the sight of you. If you’re living together, this might mean she can’t tolerate sleeping in the same bed together or just being in the same room together.

This immediately suffocates her to the core, and she does everything to get away from your presence. [Read: How to love someone without smothering them]

4. She stops giving you the time of the day

No matter what her love language might be, women would always want to spend time with the person they love most. So if she stops giving you the time of day and always comes up with excuses, then start thinking why this is the case. If she does everything to not spend time with you, even on her free time, then she might just hate you.

5. She flirts with others

This is a pretty strong indicator that your girlfriend does hate you; if she flirts with other men, even in front of you. If you did something for her to hate you with such an intense passion, then it must really be something bad for her to flirt with others in front of you.

10 questions to ask yourself to get to the bottom of your question: why does my girlfriend hate me?

Maybe you shouldn’t be asking yourself why she despises you, but rather, you should be considering these other 10 possibilities to get to the heart of the matter.

1. Does she have a reason to hate you?

There’s a difference between resentment, anger, and hatred. Don’t assume that she hates you unless you have done something unforgivable. If you haven’t something she would hate you for, then ask yourself why you would jump to this conclusion.

Of course, unless she says the words herself, then she doesn’t really hate you. If you’re really worried, then you can always run to your girlfriend to ease your thoughts of why does my girlfriend hate me?

2. At what point did you begin to feel the way that you do?

At what point in your relationship did you start to feel as if she hated you? Was there some catalyst or change that got you where you’re at now? Was there a major life change or an event that forever altered your relationship? If she drastically changed, it’s fairly normal to assume that she doesn’t love you anymore or hates you.

But again, these are all assumptions unless it comes directly from her. Reflect on your relationship and reflect on when she started changing; maybe you can find the answers there. [Read: How to confess to cheating on your partner?]

3. Does she treat everyone the same way, or are you singled out?

If you seem to be the sole object of her hatred, then there is something that she is holding onto. Think back on your relationship and see if you did something to hurt her or cause her to resent you.

If she treats everyone with disdain, then she is probably just unhappy with life in general, and only she can pull herself out of whatever is bringing her to her dark place. It will take a lot of observation for this point, but it’ll help ease your question of why does my girlfriend hate me?

4. What part do you think you play in your relationship problems?

Do you believe that she just started acting hateful toward you out of the blue? Or do you know that there are things about you that make her upset, sad, or furious? It’s practically impossible to answer why she hates you if you aren’t willing to look back on your own actions and the relationship as a whole.

Maybe it’s her fault, but maybe it’s also yours. You need to look back and see if there’s something you can change about your actions. If you try to meet her halfway, you may be surprised at how quickly her hateful attitude can turn back into affection. [Read: The power of words can make or break your relationship]

5. Do you speak negatively to or about her?

A woman who feels as if she’s being devalued or disrespected will often react with disdain. Not showing her the gratitude or respect that she deserves will likely result in resentment and hateful behavior. Not to generalize every guy, but men tend to be complacent as they get comfortable with their significant others.

Maybe you don’t even realize it until her hatred, but you’ve been speaking to or about her negatively – in a way that’s pretty rude and disrespectful to her.  These are problems that you need to discuss with her calmly and rationally to resolve.

Again, open communication is the key if you really want to know why does your girlfriend hate you. [Read: Is your negative thinking ruining your life?]

6. Do you really think that she hates you, or do you think it’s something else?

Is the feeling she has for you really hatred? Or is it something else, like resentment or frustration? For all you know, she might just be unintentionally projecting her stress to you in the form of hatred.

When someone is frustrated to the point of anger, it can look, sound, and feel like hatred. Really ask yourself if she hates you, or she’s just projecting her emotions because she has nobody else to talk to.

7. Do you want to stay with someone who has disdain for you?

If you really believe that she hates you, then why do you stay with her? Your worst fear has already been answered – that she really does hate you and despise you with her entire being. The question is, why are you still staying? Do you believe that they could change their emotions and turn them into love once again?

You can’t really change someone, especially if what she feels for you is as intense and all-consuming as hatred. If it isn’t hatred, you need to figure out what it is so that you two can work together to resolve it.

8. Is what you’re doing helping or hurting the situation?

Are the steps you have taken to fix your relationship helping or hurting? If you’ve tried to do things to fix the relationship and they have not worked, then stop doing them. It honestly takes a lot of trial and error to fix a relationship, but it’s necessary to undo the damage of your relationship.

Try to take steps to figure out what she really needs and what will really fix your relationship. You probably know her the best, so only you can really tell what she needs and wants in a relationship. [Read: How to fix a relationship that’s falling apart]

9. Do you think she would stay with you if she really hated you?

People don’t stay in relationships when they hate the other person. There is obviously love there, or she would have walked away by now. You really need to find a way to decipher your question of why does my girlfriend hate me because it’s really almost impossible to stay with someone you feel hate for.

Granted the lines are very easy to intertwine, but that’s not what often happens. Figure out what her true feelings are, and you just might uncover the love that’s been hidden underneath this whole time.

10. How much do you really like her?

Maybe she sees something in you that she’s mirroring. Like when we cheat and then accuse our mate of doing the same thing. Perhaps it’s you who isn’t happy and wants out of the relationship.

If there’s a common ground for all these questions, it’s really finding out these questions by having a conversation with her instead of constantly deflecting.

[Read: 11 truly corny signs you’re made for each other]

So, why does your girlfriend hate you?

It could be a multitude of reasons that come into play, but it’s primarily because of either something you did in the past or because she’s projecting her other emotions towards you, among other things on this list. Of course, it could always just be an assumption on your part and until you communicate, you won’t know for sure.

If you’ve ever asked yourself the question of why does my girlfriend hate me, then you may need to take a look inside yourself for the answer. Look at the signs clearly and watch closely for her body language and what she doesn’t say. More importantly, talk to her and see if the damage is still something you can fix.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Julie_Keating
Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

Follow Julie on