They say, “Just be yourself!” and “Don’t ever change a thing, just to win a girl.” But you’ve tried being yourself before, and it didn’t get you anywhere—not even first base. You see, in the game of love, you have to play the part and look the part, no matter what phase you’re in. Most girls are actually very easy to please and hard to disappoint.
Things that turn girls off – 15 habits to avoid
You don’t have to be Prince Charming if you’re just a humble, small-time pauper; however, just make sure you tame down your despicable habits. Whether you’re still eyeing a girl or you’ve been together for decades, here are some of the most common things guys do that instantly turn girls off.
#1 Letting the girl pay. Don’t invite her *or even your male friends* to a movie or dinner, only to let them pay for you. It’s one of the major no-nos when it comes to dating. You might say that she’s rich and she’s okay with it. Sure, it’s possible that she’s okay with it once in a while, but if it slowly becomes a habit, she’ll start to resent you.
Girls, even the most modern ones, still want their men to buy their dinner. If you are broke, don’t invite her to something expensive. At the very least, go dutch. But never let her foot the bill when you’re the one who invited her. [Read: 13 must-follow rules of etiquette for the modern gentleman]
#2 Forgetting and canceling dates. If you set a date on Saturday, make sure you remember it and make sure you show up! You have no idea of the amount of trouble women go through to prepare for dates. She could have gone to the salon already and bought a new outfit.
And, of course, she has cleared her schedule and has invested some time imagining what your date will be like. If you’re not too sure you’ll be available, don’t set a date! This is a big sign that you’ll be a flake if you have a relationship, and girls are so tired of that.
#3 Smothering them with attention. You might think putting girls on a pedestal is a surefire way to make them attracted to you. Au contraire! If you put them on a pedestal on the first few days of dating, chances are, her interest in you will gradually wane. Why? Because most women want the challenge. If something is a given, it becomes boring—even cringe-worthy. Although they want to hear you confess your love for them, they don’t want you to be needy or desperate. They want you to want them but not so much that you start to become uninteresting. [Read: 5 reasons why loving someone too much kills the love instantly]
#4 Being too passive. Girls want to be the ones in charge once in a while, but if they notice that they’re the ones initiating most of the time, they’ll start to get exhausted. They want men to be decisive and active, not passive or reactive all the time. You should be the one asking and planning most of your dates. You should know how to lead, because even if *especially if* you’re dating a feminist, she wants a man who knows how to lead.
#5 Constantly checking your cell phone. When you’re on a date or when your girl wants to have quality time with you, give her your undivided attention. It doesn’t take much! You don’t even have to say a lot. Just make sure you’re listening. Constantly checking your phone is such an annoying habit. One glance on your phone could totally ruin her enthusiasm to share her thoughts. Unless you have an emergency, put the phone down.
#6 Being rude to waiters and pets. You can tell a lot about a person’s personality by how they treat those who are less powerful than them. Pay attention to how you treat waiters, beggars, animals, and sales people, because you should treat them kindly. And because most women gauge how sensitive you are based on how you are toward them. If a man kicks dogs and shouts at waiters, it’s a sign that’s how he will treat a girl once the romance wanes. So, before you even approach a girl, teach yourself to be gentle. [Read: The 10 biggest offs for girls when you’re on a date with them]
#7 Arriving late. It’s not really a deal breaker, but being late most of the time can create resentment in the long run. It simply shows that you don’t value her time enough to make the effort to arrive on time. It’s a turn off for many girls, especially if you’re set to meet at a fancy restaurant. You don’t want her to be known as the girl who always waits for her man.
#8 Borrowing money…always. Oh, come on. You’re much better than borrowing money from your girl all the time. It’s such a big turn off to be financially dependent on her, when you should be treating her to good dinner now and then. And since you’re so broke, it’s almost certain you can’t give her gifts, as well. As much as possible, borrow money from other people *hint: your parents*, because doing this could put tension on your relationship.
#9 Posting too many updates on social media. Almost every girl I know gets turned off by guys who are constant social media posters. There’s no clear rule for this, but at least limit your selfies and don’t post about yourself more than 10 times per week. You want to leave a bit of mystery for your girl to discover. It also makes you look vain, which most girls hate. Be too busy and engaged with meaningful endeavors to post another meme. That makes you hot. [Read: 18 bad habits that’ll make your girl want to leave you real soon]
#10 Wearing crocs. Wearing tacky items such as crocs, corduroy pants, and a man bun can make any girl cringe. Look, you don’t have to be sartorial if you’re not fashion-savvy, but at least find out the top 10 fashion don’ts for men and just don’t wear those. You might grumble and say crocs are your fashion statement, and that if a girl really loves you, she’ll accept you for who you are. That’s valid. However, if you’re still trying to win her love, don’t show up with ugly shoes.
You are trying to impress her, remember? Unless your intention is to make her laugh *which could be cute*, just stay away from items that are obviously tacky.
#11 Rushing into sex. Whether you’re just dating or you’re already hitched, it’s still a turn off for girls if guys rush them to have sexy time. We know you are craving it, but practice delaying your urge to match hers. Don’t just get inside the room and start undressing. You have to connect with her first via conversation or foreplay because *surprise!* girls want a bit of affection before having sex. [Read: 10 steps you must follow to get a girl to have sex with you]
#12 Video game addiction. Some women, even if they’re dating the handsomest, most eligible bachelor, turn down guys simply because they found out that the guy is addicted to video games. Maybe they’ve been with videogame addicts before and know that it’s a waste of time to convince addicts that there are other better things to do. They can already imagine your weekends together and they don’t like the picture. No matter how much you argue that it’s just a game, turn offs are turn offs, and this one is on the top of the list…unless she’s a gamer, too.
#13 Poor hygiene. This needs no explanation. Our sense of smell is very powerful. We can remember thousands of smells and associate them with certain moods, events, or people. If you have bad breath, that kind of smell will be etched forever in your girl’s memory, and you won’t be as sexy to her as before. If you’re trying to win someone’s heart or if you’re already together, make sure you take care of your hygiene from head to toe, not only for her, but for yourself. [Read: The 25 biggest dating deal breakers for women all men must know]
#14 Talking about yourself all the time. Sure, she wants to hear what happened to you today, but please ask her back. Don’t just go on and on without bothering to think of her and whether she’s still interested. Make sure your conversation is balanced. Please be aware. It is such a big turn off if a man keeps blabbering about his life and his interests, without caring if the other party has opened her mouth in the last hour.
#15 Putting other people down. If you’re always whining and saying bad things about other people, girls will start to think that you’re one of those pessimistic nit-picker types, who blame other people for their unhappiness. If that’s who you are, try to not show your dark side so much by focusing only on good things.
It’s a challenge at first, but do it at least for a month and you’ll find out it’s not so hard to cultivate, after all. You don’t want to give her the impression that you’ll blame her all the time when something goes wrong.
Dating is tricky. A part of it requires you to be honest and comfortable with yourself, and another part is always adjusting as you try to please the other person. But as long as you don’t do any of the things mentioned above, you’re likely to have a smooth ride.
[Read: 25 things about guys that girls find more attractive than anything else]
And most importantly, after understanding these 15 most common things that turn girls off, you’ll surely have a much higher success rate in winning their hearts.
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