When it comes to who you keep close, you need to make sure they’re only the best. Knowing the signs of a bad friend will help you avoid the bad ones.
Many people put up with crappy friends simply because they think they have to. That person has been in their life for as long as they can remember so, despite the way they treat them, they get to stick around. But if you’re someone who’s just blind to the signs of a bad friend, we can certainly help.
You don’t deserve to have crappy friends around you all the time. The people you surround yourself with can have a much bigger impact on your life than you might think. If you want a better quality of life, then you need to be keeping only the best people around you.
How horrible friends can ruin your life
It might not be that easy to see just how much the wrong person in your life can make a difference. Sometimes we think they’ll just be annoying or exhaust us with their negativity for a little while. However, those effects can last much longer than you think.
If your friend puts you in a bad mood before work, you’ll show up with less energy and in a toxic state of mind. That means you’ll perform worse and give off an unapproachable vibe.
For many reasons, this is harmful. You could be passed up for a big promotion. You could mess up on a serious project and get punished for it. Both of those things can make your job worse. Plus, when you’re in a more positive mindset, better things happen around you. [Read: 13 signs your friends are ruining your life]
Signs of a bad friend to always look for
Never stop reading the signs of a bad friend. Even if you’ve had the same friends for years and years, you still need to be paying attention to whether or not they’re worth keeping around. Here’s what to look for in order to determine who to ditch.
#1 They don’t listen to you. You can go on and on about something you really care about only to have them say, “Wait, what?” when you’re done. They don’t listen. This has a lot to do with the fact that they just don’t care. If they did, they’d listen more.
#2 They scoff at your ideas. Basically, they think anything you conjure up is stupid. They don’t even care about making you feel dumb, either. If they shoot down your ideas or refuse to even acknowledge them, you could have a really horrible friend.
#3 They’re not supportive. Think about the friends who are there to cheer you on when you’re accomplishing your goals but are ALSO there when the going gets tough. Do they encourage you and push you to reach your goals?
#4 They only reach out for selfish reasons. They need something from you. Whether that’s money or an ear to listen or someone who will give them a solution to a problem, they just want something from you. They don’t talk to you to see how you’re doing or what’s going on in your life.
#5 You don’t trust them. Do you really trust that person to take care of you if you were injured or got super ill around them? Do you trust them to be alone with your significant other without trying to hit on them? Trust is major. If you can’t trust them, something’s off.
#6 You feel dread when you make plans with them. You make plans together but you don’t really get excited about it. Instead, you feel the need to mentally prepare yourself for them. This is one of the biggest signs of a bad friendship because it means they mentally exhaust you – something friends shouldn’t do. [Read: 17 bad friends you should unfriend from your life]
#7 They cancel your plans last minute. Basically, they have no respect for your time. They make plans and you may have even rearranged your schedule just to fit in time with them. If they cancel last minute – or worse, don’t even tell you they can’t make it until you’re already waiting for them, it’s one of those big signs of a bad friend.
#8 They only use you to vent but don’t listen to your struggles. When you’re having a hard time and need someone to talk to, they don’t listen. But if they’re struggling and call you up, they go on for what feels like hours venting to you. This isn’t fair and it just shows they don’t care much about the struggles in your life. [Read: 13 signs your friend is secretly an energy zapper]
#9 They don’t keep your secrets. Has your friend ever told another friend a secret you told them? You may not think it matters if you would’ve told the other friend anyway, but it’s still a huge invasion of privacy. The disrespect with something like this is unforgivable and they’re a shitty friend.
#10 They judge you. You should never feel judged by your friends. If anything, you should feel free to express yourself. If you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable opening up to them about something really important to you, you should probably start looking for new friends.
#11 They don’t offer anything helpful and instead make you feel worse. They might make comments that seem helpful but really, they’re insulting and make you feel like crap. If you’re having a rough time at work they might say something like, “Try making more of an effort and see if that helps,” as if you already weren’t working hard. [Read: 6 reasons why you might feel unloved and 10 ways to fix it]
#12 They insult you. They could straight up say that you’re whiney and annoying or they could make snide comments that don’t read as an insult until you think about it later. Either way, when they’re saying things that make you feel horrible about yourself, it’s time to find new friends.
#13 They victimize themselves to make you feel bad. But then they tell you to “suck it up” when you’re having a hard time. You know they’re a bad friend when they basically pull the “poor me, I have it so rough” and then never allow you to be a victim. They just want the sympathy and then offer you none.
#14 They talk crap behind your back. If you’ve been told by others that this person has been talking bad about you behind your back, they’re not your friend. Real friends don’t insult and demean their friends ever, but especially behind their back. [Read: 36 traits of a shallow person they just can’t hide]
#15 They try to steal the show all the time. They really just want all the attention. This is especially obvious if you have great news to share of an accomplishment to announce. They’re basically trying to upstage you because they don’t want you to have all the glory, which is not something a true friend would do.