Think you can be a better friend? Have friends that aren’t the shoulders you can cry on? It’s time to refresh yourself on the qualities of a good friend.
There are moments where we lack in being a good friend. So, I’m here to refresh you on the qualities of a good friend.
Maybe we’re occupied with other things or we’re simply tired of hearing the same story. But, the point is, we’re not there when we should be. Or maybe, you realize that in comparison to other people, your friends aren’t really pulling their weight. In fact, you seem to be the shoulder everyone cries on. However, when you’re struggling, they’re not there. [Read: How to make REAL friends outside your social networks]
The qualities of a good friend
We all know what it means to be a good friend, we feel it. But, sometimes we forget what a real two-way friendship looks like. And plus, when you’ve been a friend with someone for so long, you’re used to them acting a certain way. But now, it’s time to change that.
Yeah, you may know your friend for years, but if you’re not getting anything out of the relationship, what’s the point? It’s time you refreshed your memory and remember the qualities of a good friend. You should be checking these off your list.
#1 They actually listen. Okay, I know sometimes we’re glued to our phones when our friends tell us a story, I get it. But if your friend never looks up from their phone when you’re talking and simply replies with “Yeah, cool” that’s not a friend. A friend takes the time to actually listen to you, no matter how many times they’ve told you this story. [Read: Why phubbing is the rudest thing you can ever do]
#2 They support you. Why else do we have friends, like seriously? As a friend, you have your friend’s back when they walk through hard times. If they get wasted, you carry them out of the club and take them home. That’s a real friend. [Read: 20 fun questions to ask a friend and get to know them better]
#3 They accept your flaws. Your friend probably sees all your bad sides, and you know what, they’re still around so they accept your flaws. This is actually the best way to see if your friend is an actual friend. They’re not only around you when you’re on your high, they’re also there when you act like a complete asshole.
#4 You talk about the dirty things. I’m not only talking about sex, I’m talking about the personal shit in your life that you wouldn’t share with the old lady sitting next to you on the bus. Your real friends should be able to listen to your personal and intimate thoughts without judging you or posting it on Facebook. The time you shit your pants, remember that? Yeah, so do they, but they kept that to themselves.
#6 They’re straight up with you. Someone has to be honest with you, and it won’t be anyone else other than your family and friends. This is what separates your friend from someone on the street. They tell you when you’ve drunk too much or that what you’re wearing makes you look like a fool.
They’re not doing this to make fun of you, they do it because they care about you. They’re not going to give you a fake smile when you don’t deserve it.
#7 They push you forward. People who try to knock you down instead of support you aren’t friends. They’re jealous and waiting for you to fail, two things you don’t need to surround yourself with. Your friends should encourage you regardless of your goals. If they say your goals are a waste of time or stupid, they’re not having your interests at heart. [Read: How to recognize and end toxic relationships]
#8 Your secrets are kept. Your secrets, the ones you shared with them, are actually kept secrets. Now, that’s a friend. You may have done some things a little shady, and yeah, they know you did it. But, they’re not going to tell anyone because your dirty secrets are safe with them.
#9 They’re reliable. We all have those friends that flake out and you just learn to not depend on them. But then, those aren’t good friends. A good friend should be someone that’ll be there when they say they will. A person where you don’t have to wonder what’s going on with them, you just know they’ll come through.
#10 They don’t judge you… that much. Of course, we all judge each other, this isn’t something new. However, whatever you do whether it’s good or bad, they don’t hold it against you. I mean, they chose you as a friend, so by judging you, it only makes them look bad. [Read: How to surround yourself with positive people]
#11 They show love. I know this sounds corny, but it’s true. One of the best qualities of a good friend is that they will give you love however they choose to give it. Everyone loves differently, but you’ll be able to feel the love from them. Maybe they come by when you were sick and drop off some soup or watched movies with you the night your partner broke up with you.
#12 Your successes are their successes. Competition between friends is normal and on some level, it’s healthy. However, a real friend is going to celebrate your successes with you because you’re their friend. I mean, it directly affects them because you’re in their life and they love you. If your friend is pouting in the corner because you got a new job, well, that’s lame.
#13 They’re there even if they don’t agree with you. How many times has your friend done something where you think, “What the hell are they doing?” I mean, I think we’ve all been there, but since they’re your friend, you stick it out. They may not agree with what you’re doing but they accept you.
#14 They stick it out when time gets rough. We all have been through hard times. A parent passing away, a nasty breakup, but your friend is there through whatever you experience. They’re not going to be there just in the beginning, they’re going to be there until the very end. [Read: 5 unique traits that make a person trustworthy]
#15 Time is irrelevant. We all take different paths as we grow up. Some of us will move or get married or have children, but when you meet up with your friends, it’s like time hasn’t passed. You’re not making small talk, you just jump back right where you left off.