In the moment it can be difficult to recognize the signs of a fake friend, but they are always there. You just have to pay close attention.
We’ve all been 16 once, right? Fake friends are everywhere. It’s incredibly difficult to figure out who is a real friend, and know the signs of a fake friend, especially when we are young. I always found it difficult in my teen years because I had a lot of friends.
It’s so much easier in high school to have friends because you see people five out of seven days a week, for several years. Now I’m lucky if I see some of my friends once a month. It’s safe to say that having friends in high school is much easier, but as such, it is important to know the signs of a fake friend, because they are everywhere.
Luckily, my teen years prepped me to be an absolute pro at spotting fake friends, and steering clear of them entirely. I may only have a few close friends now, but at least I know they are loyal and true. I don’t have time for fake friends, and neither do you! [Read: How to build lasting and worthwhile friendships]
15 signs of a fake friend you should never overlook
I know it may seem like finding a needle in a haystack, but rest assured, once you learn these signs, it’s more like finding an elephant in a haystack. You’ve got this!
#1 Envious. Something I always notice immediately in new friendships is their compassion and energy. If they give off envious and jealous vibes, then I’m not down to hang with this person. Chances are they will take that jealousy and use it as fuel for their fake friend empire. They are going to take you down any chance they get. Get out while you still can. [Read: How to calmly deal with your jealous friend]
#2 Negativity. If they can’t be happy for you, then kick them to the curb–this is a sure-fire sign of a fake friend. Good friends will amp you up ALWAYS. They should never be making you question your life decisions or who you are as a person. [Read: Bad friends and deciding when you need to end a friendship]
#3 They talk smack about their other friends with you. If they seem to always be talking smack about their other friends with you, then chances are they are also talking smack about you to them. They can’t be trusted.
Sometimes we need to vent about our friends, but if someone always seems to be wronging them, they are probably a fake friend.
#4 They cancel plans often. Hate to break it to you, but if these becomes a trend, they have constantly chosen other things and people before you. You aren’t a priority to them and you deserve friends who make you their priority. They only want to be your friend when it is convenient for them. To hell with ‘em! [Read: Got flaky friends? Here’s why you should ditch them NOW]
#5 They guilt trip you. Sure, they cancel plans all of the time, but as soon as you do the same, World War III engages. This goes back to them being jealous, and they will be angry because you’ve found other things to do that don’t include them. This is a major sign that they are a fake friend. Also, they suck.
#6 They will always be better than you. This is a BIG one. One of my best friends growing up seriously suffered from this one. No matter how great I did in school, or at work, I was never going to be better than her. She always had to one-up me on everything, because she was clearly insecure about her life–fake friend alert.
#7 They talk down to you. Fake friends are often very insecure people. They feel the need to be friends with a lot of people at once for the feeling of acceptance and popularity. They need to be the superior being, so they may choose to make you feel bad about yourself *even though you are clearly fantastic!*. [Read: These signs will help you see your real friends from your fake friends]
#8 They are very passive-aggressive. They’ll never outright be rude to you. They need to cover their butt somehow, right? They will give you double-sided compliments that seem nice at first. But they are actually dirty and mean once you dig a little bit deeper. Don’t trust them for one second.
#9 Absolute perfection. They will literally never admit that they are in the wrong. Don’t hold your breath for that one. After all, they were made with perfection in mind, right? They can do no wrong. They constantly look for other people to blame for things going wrong in their lives, even if it is clearly their own fault.
#10 “Drama’s for nerds.” Did anybody else get that Teen Mom 2 reference? No? I’m the only one who still watches MTV shows, okay cool. Anyways, they will thrive off of drama. It may seem like they are always in some sort of tiff with somebody, and that’s because they are. Fake friends have a way of getting found out – that’s why they need so many friends. [Read: The biggest signs to help you steer clear of toxic friends]
#11 Friends are disposable to them. In other words, you are disposable to them. They will likely put on a big show about how great of friends you are *because that’s what they do*, but at the end of the day, you don’t actually matter to them. Don’t worry though, you matter to me *wink wink, nudge nudge*.
#12 You are just a tool to them. Hello, this is your dignity talking: get out while you still can, because they are USING you. Maybe it’s for your car, your grades, or one of your hot friends, but one thing that fake friends all have in common is that they make friends with the people that benefit them the most. You are just another tool in the toolbox for them.
#13 They have a short-temper with you. I had a friend that would threaten to “never talk to me ever again” if I said I was going to do certain things that literally didn’t matter one bit. One of the clearest signs of a fake friend is the obvious manner in which they try to make you feel like garbage, and this is just another way of doing so.
#14 Multiple personalities. Their personality will change depending on who is around. Perhaps they may even begin to treat you worse when other people are around as a means of appearing powerful. It’s sick, isn’t it? [Read: 15 clear signs it’s time to cut a friend loose]
#15 Growing, growing, gone. As we get older, we grow up, its natural. We move to different cities, countries, jobs, and partners. If they try and stop your growth, I think it is time for you to stop your friendship with this FAKE FRIEND.
The typical signs of a fake friend can be hard to see when you are in the friendship, I get it. It’s just like a toxic relationship; we put on our blinders because ignorance is bliss. My hope is that these tips will help you to spot these fake friends early on.
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Brett is a health and wellness blogger who aims to inspire her readers to live happy, fulfilled lives. She follows a plant-based lifestyle and lives in a tiny a...